The men's restroom on the first floor of the Hunter's Guild smelled like lemon disinfectant and dashed dreams.
I kicked the stall door shut and locked it. My heart was doing a drum solo against my ribs.
"System," I hissed, grabbing my shoulder. "Unequip! Unequip Slot 34 right now!"
My shoulder—which currently felt like it weighed three tons—didn't budge. The reinforced concrete sensation was spreading to my neck.
[REQUEST DENIED.][ENTITY: TITANIA (GOLEM EMPRESS) IS CURRENTLY NAPPING.][FORCIBLE UNEQUIP WILL RESULT IN GRUMPY DEBUFF.]
"I don't care if she's grumpy! I just broke a guy's hand with my deltoid! If I walk out there like this, they'll dissect me!"
I slammed my back against the toilet tank.
"Titania! Wake up! Go back to the room!"
A deep, reverberating vibration echoed inside my bones. It wasn't a voice I heard with my ears; it was a tectonic shift in my marrow.
"...Five... more... minutes..."
It sounded like a boulder rolling down a hill in slow motion.
"No! No snooze button! This isn't a motel!"
"...Bed... is... hard..."
"It's not a bed! It's my clavicle!"
I squeezed my eyes shut. "Please. I'll buy you a pillow. A memory foam one. Just get in the box."
There was a pause. A sensation of heavy, satisfied agreement rippled through me.
"...Deal..."
[ITEM UNEQUIPPED: TITANIA][RETURNING TO SLOT 34]
My shoulder instantly felt lighter. The metallic sheen faded from my skin, returning to the pale, malnourished complexion of an F-Rank Porter.
I slumped onto the toilet lid, burying my face in my hands.
"I am going to die," I whispered. "I survived the Minotaur. I survived the Yandere Sword. But the stress is going to kill me."
I checked my phone.
09:05 AM.
The incident with Kenji outside happened three minutes ago. The Guild Hall would be buzzing. Rumors spread faster than dungeon breaks.
Trash Porter breaks C-Rank hand.Secret Strength? Illegal Steroids? Cyborg Implants?
I needed to control the narrative. Or at least, I needed to sell this Mana Stone and pay my debt before I got arrested.
I took a deep breath, fixed my torn shirt, and stepped out of the stall.
The Guild Exchange counter was crowded.
Hunters were lining up to trade monster parts for Gold Credits. I pulled my cap down low and joined the line, clutching the Minotaur stone wrapped in the strip of my shirt.
"Did you hear?" a mage in front of me whispered to his tank. "Kenji got wrecked."
I stiffened.
"Yeah," the tank snorted. "Said he slipped and hit a lamppost. Broke three fingers."
I blinked. Slipped?
"A lamppost?" the mage laughed. "Kenji is such a clumsy idiot. Trying to bully the weak and hurting himself."
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Of course. Kenji wouldn't admit he got broken by me. His pride wouldn't allow it. To him, admitting an F-Ranker hurt him was worse than the injury itself.
"Next!"
I stepped up to the counter.
The receptionist was Mina. She was a kind, glasses-wearing girl who usually looked at me with the same pity one gives to a three-legged stray dog.
"Hiro-kun?" She adjusted her glasses, scanning my tattered appearance. "Oh dear. Did the goblins steal your shirt again?"
"Something like that, Mina-san," I said, voice keeping steady. "I have a drop to sell."
I unwrapped the cloth and placed the heavy purple stone on the glass counter.
Thud.
The ambient chatter in the immediate vicinity died.
Mina stared at the stone. She poked it. The purple mana pulsed rhythmically.
"Hiro-kun," she whispered. "This is... this is a Boss Core. From the Floor 1 Minotaur."
"I found it," I said quickly. The lie I had rehearsed. "A high-level party wiped out. They left it. I was just scavenging."
Mina looked at me. She knew the rules. Scavengers rights. If you find it, you keep it. But a Boss Core? That was lottery money for someone like me.
"Wait here."
She took the stone and placed it on the appraisal scale. The magical readout spun.
[PURITY: 98%][ESTIMATED VALUE: 1,200 GOLD]
My heart soared.
1,200 Gold. The interest payment was 500. The principal was 5,000. This wouldn't clear the debt, but it would buy me a month. A whole month of safety. I could figure out the Inventory mess later.
"It's high quality," Mina said, typing into her terminal. "I can transfer the credits to your Guild Card immediately."
"Yes. Please. Right now."
Ding.
[ACCOUNT BALANCE: 1,215 GOLD]
I almost cried. I was rich. Well, I was slightly less poor.
"Thank you, Mina-san. You're an angel."
I turned to leave, a spring in my step. I was going to buy a burger. A double cheeseburger. And maybe a new shirt.
GRRROOOOOWL.
The sound wasn't my stomach. It sounded like a jet engine starting up inside a cave. It came from my pocket.
People turned to look.
"What was that?" a Hunter asked.
I froze.
[SYSTEM ALERT][METABOLIC SYNC INITIATED]
A holographic window popped up, red and blinking.
[WARNING: SLOT 2 (IGNIS) IS CRITICALLY HUNGRY.][WARNING: SLOT 34 (TITANIA) REQUIRES MANA RECHARGE.][WARNING: SLOT 1 (SYLVIA) REQUIRES MAINTENANCE OIL.]
"No," I whispered. "Don't do this."
[AUTO-PURCHASE PROTOCOL: ENABLED][THE HAREM MUST BE FED.]
"Disable! Disable protocol!" I tapped the air frantically.
[ERROR: YOU CANNOT STARVE SSS-RANK ENTITIES. FAILURE TO PROVIDE SUSTENANCE WILL RESULT IN "RAMPAGE" EVENT.]
[PURCHASING: HIGH-GRADE SULFUR (x10kg)...][PURCHASING: MANA CRYSTAL SHARDS (x5)...][PURCHASING: PREMIUM WHETSTONE...]
My phone buzzed.
Ding.Ding.Ding.
I watched, horrified, as the notifications rolled in on my retinal display.
- 400 GOLD (Marketplace Auto-Buy)- 600 GOLD (Marketplace Auto-Buy)- 200 GOLD (Marketplace Auto-Buy)
[TRANSACTION COMPLETE. ITEMS DEPOSITED DIRECTLY TO INVENTORY.]
I felt the weight change in the dimensional pocket. Somewhere in the void, a dragon was eating sulfur and a sword was getting sharpened.
I looked at my account balance.
[ACCOUNT BALANCE: 15 GOLD]
I stood in the middle of the Guild Hall. The 1,200 Gold I had risked my life for. The Minotaur I had killed. The bone-crushing terror I had endured.
Gone. In three seconds.
"Hiro-kun?" Mina called out. "Are you okay? You look pale."
I turned slowly. My soul had left my body.
"Mina-san," I croaked. "Does the Guild... have a food pantry?"
She looked confused. "No... but are you hungry?"
"Not me," I whispered, clutching my stomach where the Inventory void lived. "Ideally, never me."
My phone buzzed again. A text from the Bank.
Asset Seizure. If they seized my assets... they would seize the Inventory. They would open the box. And 100 SSS-Rank monsters disguised as anime girls would be unleashed upon Tokyo.
I looked at the "Quest Board" on the wall. The F-Rank quests were picking herbs. Pay: 10 Gold.
I looked at the S-Rank quests. [Slay the Void Hydra. Reward: 1,000,000 Gold.]
I looked at my hands. One hand held a phone with a debt notice. The other hand...
I tapped the air.
[INVENTORY]Slot 1: Sylvia (Happy)Slot 2: Ignis (Full)Slot 3: Elara (Bored)
"Elara," I muttered. "Saintess of Life."
If I couldn't hunt... maybe I could heal? S-Rank Healers charged 5,000 Gold per minute.
I grinned. It was a desperate, manic grin.
"Mina-san," I slammed my hands on the counter. "Where is the nearest hospital? Specifically, the incurable ward?"
Mina blinked. "Hiro-kun? Why?"
"Because," I said, eyes burning with the fire of capitalism. "I'm about to perform a miracle. For a fee."