In the living room, Shirou and his new father—Kiritsugu Emiya—sat at the low table on cushions. Both looked serious enough, though the red-haired boy was a bit nervous, his right hand slightly tense on the table, palm up.
"Shirou, get ready. It might hurt a little." I warned the child before carrying out the plan.
The boy tensed slightly in anticipation of possible pain, and soon, once I was sure Shirou wouldn't move his hand or make sudden movements, I began slowly channeling my energy outward in a thin trickle...
Shirou only winced slightly during the process, but everything went perfectly, and the kid's energy channels weren't harmed at all. They weren't supposed to be. I used the bare minimum of energy, even for a child's undeveloped channels. And if needed, there's always Avalon and its restorative functions. They'd already saved his life once, and something like minor damage is a trifle for the legendary scabbard.
Though, I digress...
"Pleased to meet you, my name is Russell. And yes, I'm really inside Shirou right now. Or more precisely, in his inner world." The boy, and especially Kiritsugu, stared in surprise at the magitech tool I'd created. It's a small transmitter in the form of a rectangular plate with a circle in the center made of faintly glowing runes.
The device easily fit in Shirou's palm, since there was no point in making something complex, and it looked as harmless as possible to avoid provoking the elder Emiya by accident.
And naturally, Kiritsugu tensed up noticeably upon seeing the projected tool. Especially when my voice emanated from it.
The man's face showed that the whole situation was far from what he'd initially expected. He hardly anticipated such a "gift" hiding in the child he'd saved. And I strongly doubt he liked it...
But right now, I couldn't get distracted. The silence that fell in the room was hardly a sign of its owner's calm, so I decided to "attack" preemptively, or Kiritsugu's thoughts might lead him down a path very unfavorable for Shirou and me.
"Anticipating your possible questions, I'll start giving answers right away. Yes, I won't harm anyone here. No, I don't know how I ended up in the boy's inner world. Yes, I'm a magus or something like it. I also inform you in advance that I'm using Shirou's language knowledge, so there might be inconsistencies in terminology in my speech. No, I can't leave the boy, since my physical body is destroyed. I'm also not sure if I should say where I came from, since it won't make much sense to you, so I'll answer that question later. That's the main stuff, I think. Now... Do you have any more questions? I'll try to answer them as honestly as possible, since you've decided to shelter my... landlord." I stated clearly, hoping to address the main questions upfront so we could move to what really mattered. Though, on second thought, maybe I shouldn't have dumped it all on the new father like that. Hm... Perhaps I should've waited until he bonded with the kid to avoid rejection of Shirou?..
Damn. I've never dealt with this, and my social skills are, shall we say, lacking at best.
A dying world's front lines are hardly the best place for chit-chat. And I hadn't had a chance to talk to anyone during the last third of my life. A miracle I hadn't completely forgotten how to communicate with the younger generation...
Kiritsugu stared intently at the transmitter while Shirou watched with a confused expression. Various emotions played across the man's furrowed face, and unlike his earlier good-natured, somewhat awkward demeanor, now he was focused, as if weighing every word I'd said.
Finally, after a long pause, Kiritsugu gathered his thoughts and addressed me directly for the first time.
"...You claim you're not dangerous, but can you prove it?" The man's question rang out, his sharp gaze sweeping over the transmitter as if trying to see my face.
"I'd like to convince you I'm not a threat, but... I simply can't. Any pact can be circumvented, so only time will show if I'm telling the truth. But despite that, I chose to reveal myself now because you didn't hide your magus status from Shirou. It would be wrong of me to leave his new father in the dark about my existence." My own "life" is currently hanging by a "thread" in the form of Shirou. In fact, without a body, I'd simply dissipate into this foreign world under the influence of the local "Earth's" Will. Even a suitable spiritual construct wouldn't handle it, given I never existed in this world.
In simpler terms, in my current weakened state, death awaits me outside. At least unless I decide to survive at any cost. But those aren't methods I'm willing to use. So if possible, I prefer to settle "here," in Shirou's inner world.
Fortunately, I already had some ideas about that. Now I just needed time and resources to implement them. And for that, I first needed approval from the elder Emiya.
Kiritsugu sat motionless, staring intently at the transmitter. He couldn't see my face, but that didn't mean the new father wasn't trying to glean desired tidbits from my words. It showed in his cold, frozen gaze, where emotions flickered only faintly in his dark eyes.
Finally, after another minute of delay, the man sighed and pulled... cigarettes from his inner pocket, if Shirou's knowledge was correct, then lit one with simple motions.
Funny, these things exist even here, in another world. Didn't expect to see them so soon.
"You do realize how hard this is to believe?" The man's gaze was still empty, but his facial expression had relaxed somewhat. Maybe the cigarette smoke helped calm his taut nerves, even if just a little...
"Honestly, I'm having a hard time believing it myself. I expected a rather different end to my life..." After all, I died. Who could've expected something like... this? Certainly not me.
Though so far, I have no complaints. Things could've been much worse for sure...
"And indeed..." The man said, exhaling cigarette smoke. "So what are you planning to do? Suppose you're really not going to harm Shirou and I believe you, but what are your goals now?" Kiritsugu asked without changing his expression, maintaining slight tension throughout his body, like a battle-hardened magus from the front lines ready to fight at any moment.
And judging by his eyes and his presence in that fire, Kiritsugu could well be a combat magus, despite his weak energy channels. After all, raw power doesn't always decide a battle. Skills and abilities at the right moment can flip the table, turning the enemy's strengths against them.
So underestimating an enemy—especially a magus—is a good way to die quickly and, quite possibly, painfully.
Kiritsugu's question caught me off guard. It seemed like he was just asking about my plans, but... I didn't have any, so I had no idea what to say. But staying silent would be a mistake too, so with a light sigh, I decided to answer honestly:
"To tell the truth, I... haven't figured out what I'm going to do yet. I have no grand plans, but in the hospital, I promised to teach Shirou magic and try to figure out the cause of the recent tragedy." And right after my words, Kiritsugu tensed noticeably, nearly snapping the nicotine stick between his fingers.
Well, just as I thought. He definitely knows something. Though I doubt the blaze was his doing, since he suffered from the curses himself, and his actions so far haven't been harmful toward Shirou. But it's too early to judge. Better learn more before jumping to conclusions. Especially since Kiritsugu is willing to talk, though his demeanor has noticeably worsened since I brought up yesterday's disaster.
"...Why do you care?" And really, why? It makes little sense for someone not in my position. I'm more than sure there's no trust in my words yet. I'm still a potentially dangerous element threatening both his and the child's life, with whom I've found shelter "inside." Too much uncertainty in all this, for my taste.
Well, I'll try telling the truth. Convincingly lying wouldn't work in my case anyway.
"Shirou asked me to." I began, as Kiritsugu's eyes widened slightly for a moment. "The place I 'came from'... is dead. I died myself and have no personal plans. So right now, all I want is to help the kid and have time to figure out what to do next."
Time... Hm, if I think about it, I never had much before. At least, I never had the chance to use it for anything but the "greater good"...
After my words, Kiritsugu fell silent again. One cigarette was replaced by another until only the last one remained in the pack. Apparently, Kiritsugu simply didn't know what to say at that moment. Through Shirou's eyes, I could see the man as if he'd lost all his strength, his gaze completely empty as it dropped to the cigarette pack clutched in his hands.
"Please, tell us what happened then?.." Shirou's question suddenly rang out, directed at his new father. Kiritsugu looked at the boy in shock and, after a few seconds, lit the new, final cigarette with slightly trembling hands.
The silence in the room grew even heavier. The two—a child and a man—sat facing each other without breaking eye contact, each lost in their own troubling thoughts.
Young Shirou kept looking questioningly into Kiritsugu's eyes, patiently awaiting his answer. And though the boy was tense, there were no strong emotions you'd expect from a child his age who'd literally "died" just yesterday.
Kiritsugu, on the other hand, was tense. No, unstable. Hard to judge his expression when he was trying so hard to maintain an emotionless mask of cold calm that was gradually cracking under the pressure of memories resurfacing in his mind. And it showed in the small, barely noticeable movements of his body.
At one point, when the cigarette had burned down to almost an ashen stub, the black-haired man closed his eyes for a few seconds, then opened them, revealing the face of a truly exhausted—or rather doomed—person...
And I knew that look well. It had been a long time since I'd last seen it, but... his face unmistakably reminded me of the past. Of those people who died fighting in an endless, hopeless war. Of the time when they first realized the futility of our efforts, and the moments when life left their bodies...
And the same despair was etched firmly in this man's eyes...
A heavy sigh accompanied Kiritsugu's moment of weakness before he finally decided to voice the story preceding the cursed flames that had claimed so many innocent lives.
As I'd suspected, the cause turned out to be remarkably pointless...
From Kiritsugu's first words, it was clear the story wasn't for children's ears. But I didn't stop Shirou from listening. Better he knows the truth than lives in ignorance and worry. Besides, as a direct victim of the fire, the boy deserves to know. At least this way he can prepare for the future and perhaps draw some lessons.
The short version of what happened here is as follows:
In this city called Fuyuki, a ritual takes place every sixty years. It is called the Holy Grail War and represents a battle to the last for the fulfillment of any wish through the power of the golden chalice. Seven Masters participate in it, each of whom summons a Servant for themselves, representing a Hero from the past of incredible power and skill, with rare exceptions. Kiritsugu was one of the Masters, and he was the one who made it to the end... There he learned that the Grail really grants wishes, but in the most twisted way possible—through destruction. In the end, the man decided to destroy the vessel capable of annihilating all of humanity with its power through his Servant. Using the Command Seals that every Master possessed, giving them the ability to issue absolute orders, he commanded Saber to use her "Noble Phantasm" on the cursed chalice. This prevented one catastrophe but caused another. The very fire that claimed many lives in Fuyuki the day before.
He also told about his wife and daughter. His beloved perished because she was originally a Homunculus, an artificial human created solely to become the vessel of the Holy Grail during the war, for which Irisviel gave her life. After what happened, Kiritsugu wanted to at least take his daughter, but the Einzberns, the family he worked for to obtain the Grail, refused to give her up and no longer allowed the child's father onto their territory due to his betrayal.
After all, they too desired the Grail, and Kiritsugu did not allow their dreams to come true. Naive idiots ready to send everything all eggs in one basket in pursuit of former glory...
In general, even the shortened story of the war turned out to be long, and by the end the man himself was on the brink. As if every word he said cut his soul with a dull rusty knife. His knife. After all, he blamed himself for everything.
So many sacrifices for the greater good, but all he caused were new deaths.
Peace throughout the world... A childish dream that only little children should chase. But for Him it was not like that at all. For this man, saving everyone was worth every drop of blood shed...
When Kiritsugu finished, he lowered his trembling gaze to his hands. His eyes were filled with unshed tears, and his usually emotionless face contorted in a grimace of terrible pain, agony. For a moment, I even regretted bringing up such a painful topic for the man. I thought Kiritsugu was somehow connected to the arrival, but as it turned out, he was... An unknown hero and martyr.
A killer who stubbornly killed himself, doing it for the best reasons.
Well, life can be a terribly cruel thing, leaving no opportunities for relief even for those people who did not deserve their torments at all, having fallen into the rut of events by the will of chance that destroyed their lives. Although Kiritsugu was far from a saint, and his hands were stained with no small amount of blood, one could only sympathize with the man.
In the end, how many deaths did he prevent by pulling the trigger his whole life? Even the man himself does not know.
But now for Kiritsugu all his past deeds had lost their meaning. And this happened precisely at the moment when he could not preserve something truly important to himself...
When all his sacrifices turned out to be meaningless...
While I was thinking about what to say, Shirou rose from his seat. At that moment, the boy did not look angry or even upset; only his childish gaze showed understanding and pity. Shirou calmly walked around the table, approaching Kiritsugu closely, and tightly hugged the man suffering from emotional agony.
"Thank you for saving me," Shirou said calmly, slightly pulling away from his savior but not releasing his shoulders.
After these words, Kiritsugu stopped all his movements, as if he had forgotten how to move even the smallest muscle in his body. Only after some time did he raise his gaze to the child who had lost everything because of him. Because he was wrong from the very beginning... so why!..
Why... are you thanking me? It read in his dark, tired eyes as he looked at the child before him in silent question. And this very child, whether he understood it or not, soon gave the man the answer he needed:
"I died there, in the fire... I... don't remember anything from my past and don't know how much I lost, but..." A slight smile visited the child's face as he looked into his savior's eyes with a gaze filled with gratitude and warmth. "Everything I do remember... Everything I can be sure of is that Kiritsugu saved my life. That you were the one who carried me out of the fire. That you came to me in the hospital to take me with you... So... for me, you are a true Hero." Shirou's face was calm. He truly believed what he said. Without a hint of anger or dislike, Shirou simply said what he thought to his new father. To his Hero.
The man, as if shedding part of the burden from his tired shoulders, allowed himself for the first time in a long while to sigh and show his emotions. Kiritsugu hugged Shirou in response to his words and finally released the tears accumulated in his eyes that had all this time failed to break through the man's efforts to hold them back.
And no one dared to disturb him at that moment.
After all, today he was saved by this boy who should have hated him more than anyone else. And that was all that mattered at that moment...
Some time later...
Finally, the eldest member of the family pulled himself together after shedding the accumulated tears. It even seemed to me that the man was breathing easier and his smile looked noticeably more natural. And although the pain rooted with the curse was still deep, Kiritsugu was definitely much better now.
The boy had really managed to help him. Ha...
In an uplifted mood, Kiritsugu even decided to "cook something" in the kitchen. Why "something" and not the name of a specific dish? Simply when the guy's father touched the stove... In short, with combined efforts we managed to defeat the fire caused by failed cooking, as well as destroy "something" that, it turns out, was meant to be the simplest dish consisting of rice with eggs...
Kiritsugu could well be known as the "Culinary Killer" if he used such a fearsome weapon on his enemies...
After the discouraging display of the family head's culinary skills, Shirou declared that from now on he would cook himself. Although nothing changed the fact that the family dined on ready-made food ordered by phone thanks to a luckily spotted ad on TV. And this was not because we were afraid of a repeat fire. Simply most of the available utensils were... Ahem... unfit...
Overall, father and son communicated quite well, and I only occasionally joined the conversation. But I still asked Kiritsugu about the possibility of talking that evening. I needed to learn a great deal about the magical side of this world. The situation with the Grail could not be ignored either. My personal experience tells me that this is far from over. And he himself mentioned that the ritual happens once every sixty years. Besides, I did not want anything like that even potentially nearby my... Host, landlord?.. Not important. That thing is dangerous.
And I am used to destroying or in some cases dismantling dangerous things before it is too late...
By evening, Shirou had already familiarized himself with his new home and especially the kitchen. Gathering everything he could, the boy made a really good, albeit simple, dinner of rice, eggs, and chicken. For this, Kiritsugu had to order a full set of kitchen utensils, which was quickly delivered by a group of very menacing-looking people in black suits... In general, the food was tasty. Fortunately, I can connect to Shirou's taste receptors, which allowed me to sample the boy's culinary skills. It's even surprising that this part remained in the child's memory. Perhaps he often helped his parents in the kitchen before the fire? That's a perfectly viable option. True, in this case it is more of a skill honed to reflexes, as there are simply no memories of him cooking in the kitchen in the past. The boy mostly worked on pure instincts.
Even I was surprised at how well this child had mastered such a everyday skill...
Soon after dinner, Shirou washed the dishes and went to bed, when Kiritsugu and I finally managed to talk alone.
"So what did you want to discuss?" The Magus Killer stared at the transmitter lying on the desk in his room with a grim expression.
"A few things, but I'll start with the most important..."
"What exactly do you want to know?" It was immediately clear that this was an unpleasant topic for him when he pulled out another pack of cigarettes bought just before dinner. And I would have waited for a better time for the conversation, but... I'm not used to leaving potential danger behind my back. The first acquaintance with the Grail was enough for me, and according to Kiritsugu, that was just "a drop in the ocean" compared to what could really happen.
"You said the Holy Grail War happens once every sixty years..."
"Exactly. Does that matter?"
"When Shirou was walking through the fire, I couldn't protect him." I started on a grim note, attracting all of Kiritsugu's attention. "But what I could do was protect his Inner World from the cursed fire that tried to devour the remnants of Shirou's soul, as it happened with the other victims of the fire. It was not particularly interested in his body, though it inevitably suffered from the flames. The flames were more attracted to souls and the very 'essence' of living beings..."
"And that fire came from the Grail itself..." The man squinted from unpleasant memories, and I nodded, though I knew he couldn't see me.
"The flames turned out to be alive. More precisely, It acted according to the will and desire embedded in it to destroy everything, especially people. And that was only a small part of it. And even that drop was enough to take more than five hundred lives..."
"What are you getting at?.." The Magus Killer looked at the transmitter with a silent question, to which I decided to pose my own:
"Where is the rest of the energy? The power, or as you called it 'Prana'?.." Kiritsugu was now openly worried, but I continued anyway: "If this 'artifact's' power is as great as you say, there is a high probability that it still has enough energy for... Anything, judging by the Grail's main ability."
Energy does not disappear. It accumulates, dissipates, or even multiplies. But disappear? That amount of energy, enough to fulfill any wish? No... In the best case, it could have gone somewhere, which I would not count on at all.
"But... This is..." Kiritsugu stopped speaking and looked at his hands. After a few seconds, he stared at the transmitter again.
"I'm not claiming anything, but energy does not have the property of dissipating into nothingness. And since the Grail was created to collect this very energy, Prana in our case, then..."
"It still has a huge amount of unused Prana..." The Master of the previous war did not let me finish, with a stunned expression on his face.
"That's why I wanted to ask you to help me investigate this Grail. All that's needed is to bring this transmitter to it." I projected it in such a way that it could safely exist for a week under the pressure of the world. From the already known communication and 'eye' functions, I will be able to analyze the object's structure at various levels with its help. Not very efficient, but my options are limited.
Kiritsugu was stunned, worried, and the smoldering cigarette in his hand was simply forgotten under the pressure of my words. But soon the man regained his composure and said:
"...Tomorrow I will personally bring you to the Grail." The Magus Killer finished in a grim tone. All I could do was smirk at my strange fate.
Well. Even in death, there will be no peace for me...
***
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