Choosing the Monster
Kai thought space would fix everything.
It didn't.
Days passed.
Then weeks.
Lucien kept his word.
No sudden appearances.
No midnight visits.
No messages.
The soul bond was still there.
Quieter.
Muted.
Like a distant echo instead of a scream.
Kai went back to class.
Back to work.
Back to pretending he was normal.
But something inside him had shifted permanently.
He noticed it in small ways.
Food tasted duller.
Music didn't hit as hard.
Laughter felt delayed.
Not empty.
Just… incomplete.
Leo noticed too.
"You're better," Leo said one afternoon as they sat on the campus lawn.
Kai shrugged. "Define better."
"You're breathing again."
Kai stared at the clouds.
"I miss him."
Leo stiffened.
"Kai…"
"I know he's dangerous," Kai said quickly. "I know he crossed lines. I know none of this is healthy."
Leo stayed quiet.
"But I also know," Kai continued, "that no one has ever looked at me like I mattered before."
Leo's voice softened. "You mattered before him."
Kai nodded.
"I know. But he made me feel… chosen."
Leo sighed.
"That doesn't mean you owe him yourself."
Kai didn't answer.
Because the truth was—
He didn't feel owned.
He felt tethered.
And tethers went both ways.
That night, Kai dreamed again.
Not darkness.
Not chains.
A vast field of black glass.
Lucien stood in the distance.
Not reaching.
Not calling.
Just waiting.
Kai took a step toward him.
Then another.
He woke with tears on his face.
Decision heavy in his chest.
Kai stood up.
Grabbed his jacket.
Left.
He didn't know how to find Lucien.
He just… walked.
Through familiar streets.
Past places Lucien had once taken him.
Through the heartbeat of the city.
"You don't have to hide," Kai whispered.
The air shifted.
Lucien stood beneath a flickering streetlight.
Like he had been there the whole time.
They stared at each other.
Neither spoke.
Kai broke first.
"You said I could walk away."
Lucien nodded.
"I did."
"I tried."
Lucien's eyes softened.
"I know."
Kai's voice shook.
"I hate what you did."
Lucien bowed his head.
"I deserve that."
"I hate that you scare me."
Lucien said nothing.
"I hate that I think about you when I'm alone."
Lucien looked up.
"And I hate," Kai finished, "that I still want you."
Silence roared.
Lucien's voice was barely above a whisper.
"If you come to me, you cannot pretend I am something good."
Kai swallowed.
"I know you're a monster."
Lucien flinched.
Kai stepped closer.
"So am I, apparently."
Lucien searched his face.
"Is this choice… yours?"
Kai nodded.
"Yes."
Lucien closed his eyes.
When he opened them, they were burning.
Not red.
Gold.
Raw.
"I will never cage you," Lucien said. "I will never take your will again."
Kai whispered, "And I won't pretend I'm innocent."
Lucien took one step forward.
Kai didn't retreat.
They stood inches apart.
Not touching.
Breathing the same air.
Choosing each other.
Not because of fate.
Not because of magic.
But because they were both broken in ways that fit.
Kai reached out first.
He took Lucien's hand.
Not claimed.
Not commanded.
Held.
Lucien's fingers curled slowly around his.
A monster.
And the boy who chose him anyway.
And somewhere deep in the soul bond…
Something shifted.
Not tightening.
Not consuming.
Equal.
At last.