~I don't want to feel that pain again. But the more I try to avoid it… the more it finds its own way back to me.~
Day after day passes. Routine resumes as if yesterday's storm never happened. As if everyone has silently agreed to pretend the truth doesn't exist and choose their own version of comfort instead.
But the calm I feel is only a thin illusion. A warm blanket covering the fact that the fire beneath it is still burning.
I am ashamed of myself.Of how I trembled. Of how I chose a side not because of justice, but because of fear. Of how I ran from conflict simply because I wasn't ready.
But anyone would collapse if suddenly thrown into that ocean without a lifebuoy.
I convinced myself the guidance counselor had saved me. That today would be normal, safe, ordinary.
I was foolish.Because the moment I let out a sigh of relief… someone out there was taking a deep breath—ready to drag me under even further.
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1. The Desk – The Beginning of Silent Terror
The moment I arrived in class, I saw it.
My desk.Or… what used to be my desk.
Now it looked more like a monument of anger than a piece of classroom furniture.
Covered in scratches—deep, rough, like fingernail marks from someone trying to claw their way out of a box.
Some lines looked like they were carved with a cutter.Others like they'd been struck over and over again.
And among all of that…
writing.
Black marker scrawls:
"TRAITOR""Public trash""Walking CCTV""WATCH YOUR MOUTH"
And one small line at the corner:
"We saw you."
Not just a threat.But a declaration that I was being watched. That my movements were being recorded by someone… someone who knew what happened yesterday.
My body stiffened.
I asked my deskmate.He stepped back. Avoided eye contact.As if I carried a disease that spread through a glance.
I tried another classmate.Same result.
Even my closest friend—the one who had eaten lunch with me every day for the past two years—avoided me. Fear on his face, not anger.
When I touched his shoulder, he pulled away.
No—not just pulled away.He recoiled like he'd been shocked.
Then he hurried off, apologizing in a choked voice.
Not disgust.Not shame.
Fear.
Suddenly the air felt thicker.Colder.As if the entire classroom had only one purpose now: to push me out.
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2. That Laughter
In the middle of my spiraling thoughts, I heard it.
A thin laugh.A mocking laugh.A laugh made deliberately subtle so it could pass for wind—yet sharp enough to pierce.
I turned.
Suri.And her group.
They all wore small smiles. Their eyes gleamed with satisfaction, like children proud of having torn a butterfly's wings.
They were enjoying this.Enjoying me—confused, cornered, alone.
I knew this was their doing.They must have threatened the class not to talk to me.Spread rumors. Pressured everyone.
And yet… something felt off.
Something made the back of my neck prickle.
Suri's laugh—usually full of arrogance and aggression—was different today.
There was unease in it. A trace of hidden fear.As if she laughed not because she felt powerful… but because she was trying to hide her insecurity.
As if someone—or something—was pressing down on her from behind.
And that made her laughter feel strangely painful to hear.
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3. Their Fear – Not of Me
Everyone avoided me.But not because I was strong.Not because they hated me.
They were afraid of something connected to me.
Something that happened yesterday.Something only I and one other person truly knew.
Misaki.
Her face surfaced in my mind.Her gaze.Her smile—fractured like cracked glass.
A smile no normal person should have.
Before this, she showed Suri something that made the school's queen step back.Not through violence.Not through physical threats.
But through words.And the way she delivered them.
Suri didn't target me because I betrayed her.She targeted me because I…
was close to Misaki.
To her, I was an extension of a threat she couldn't understand.A threat even I didn't fully understand.
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4. Machiba – False Hope
I thought about approaching Machiba.Maybe if I told the real story, he would stand on my side.Maybe he could clear the misunderstanding between us.
But when I walked closer…He only glanced at me briefly.
Not with anger.Not with disgust.
With hesitation.With caution.Like someone looking at a door that might have a monster behind it.
And I realized:
He wasn't distancing himself because he hated me.He kept his distance because he didn't understand what truly happened between me… and Misaki.
And that uncertainty exhausted him.
Because no matter what he did yesterday,in everyone's eyes now…
I was involved in something they could not comprehend.
5. The Freezing Realization
In the end, I returned to my torn, ruined desk.
I sat down.Silent.Doing nothing.
For the first time…I felt there was truly nothing I could do anymore.
This chaos was no longer about teenage conflict.Not about who was right.Or who was wrong.
It was about who could survive the game…
whose rules were never explained to me.
And what was more terrifying—
The game…had only just begun.
And I was already inside it.