The lunch bell rang. That chime was the signal. The bullying was about to start.
Today, just like every day, Saeki was using me as his errand boy.
"Hey, Hidako, go buy me a drink!" "Yeah, grab one for me too, Hidako-chi."
That was Saeki's little shadow, Kida, the guy who just tagged along like a goldfish's poop. I'd been their convenient tool for ages, basically a stick-figure servant.
"Sure… carbonated okay?"
What the hell was I even saying with "carbonated okay?" Acting like I was being thoughtful? It was just proof that slave mentality had sunk deep into my bones.
This was my daily routine. Ever since starting high school two years ago, I'd been Saeki and Kida's personal slave. I hated admitting I was being bullied, so I kept pretending we were friends. I told myself it wasn't forced, that I was okay with it—just barely. But I couldn't lie to myself forever. These pointless days dragged on and on.
"Saeki-kun, aren't you embarrassed? Bullying someone even in high school?"
It was Kawachi-san, our class rep, stepping in again.
"Huh? This ain't bullying. I'm just asking him to grab a drink. Right, Hidako? We're buddies, aren't we?"
Saeki was sly like that. He'd hit my stomach but never my face. When he made me run errands, he always shoved the money into my hand first.
"Yeah, Kawachi-san's got the wrong idea. We're actually best friends," Kida chimed in.
Best friends? I'd never thought of him that way even once. Kida might've been clueless, or maybe just spineless—Saeki did the hitting, while this guy just watched. He probably didn't even realize he was part of it. That made him worse than Saeki in a way. Ignorance is the cruelest thing.
"Hidako-kun, say something! If you're being bullied, just admit it!"
"…I'm not being bullied."
Kawachi-san let out a huge sigh. She gave a bitter, exasperated smile.
"Is that really okay with you, Hidako-kun?" "I don't even know what you mean."
With that, she walked out of the classroom.
Saeki and Kida's laughter echoed down the hallway. What's so fun about mocking someone? No—they enjoyed it. That's why bullying never stops.
There's this idea called the four-layer structure of bullying: perpetrator, victim, audience, bystander. It means no one's truly uninvolved; everyone plays a part, and that's how it keeps going. But in reality? Everyone acts like it's none of their business. As long as it's entertaining, as long as they get to look down on someone, that's enough. That's why, instead of heading to the vending machine, I went up to the school rooftop.
Most schools lock the roof these days, but mine didn't. It was open. Basically an invitation, right?
"If life gets too hard, feel free to jump whenever."
Maybe I wasn't normal anymore.
"But the crazy one isn't me—it's this world."
Saying it out loud changed nothing. Beyond the fence was open sky. I stared at the same old view, then climbed over and stood on the other side. I looked up, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath.
A few students were eating lunch up there, chatting happily with friends.
"Hey, isn't that guy kinda… bad news?" "Yeah, should we get a teacher?"
Yeah, that's right. I'm about to kill myself.
Some whispered among themselves. A couple hurried off the roof—probably feeling righteous. Pointless. Unnecessary. It's just one life. They could've ignored me.
By the time a teacher showed up, I'd already be gone, plummeting to freedom. The sky was its usual dull gray. The building, the field, the asphalt—everything the same monotonous color.
"…Do you even get why I'm jumping?"
Too late. I should've done it sooner. Way sooner…
"So long, everyone."
I leaned forward. The moment my feet left the ground, I let my body go limp. I was falling.
I didn't want to die, exactly. I just didn't want to live anymore. You guys probably wouldn't understand the difference.
Everything—my thoughts, my time, my existence—fell with me. It would all vanish, like I'd never been here at all.
My body flipped midair, and the rooftop drifted away. My eyelids grew heavy; consciousness started fading. Then—
A blinding light exploded in front of me. It swallowed my vision completely.
I couldn't think anymore.
The last thing I saw was pure white. Endless, meaningless white.
And with that, Hidako Masamune said goodbye to his pathetic life and ended it all.
Hidako Masamune was dead.