The village was surrounded by gray rocks that looked like a fence but not a straight one. Over the years a lot of rain came down. Made the rocks smoother. Now these big heavy rocks are hanging over the ground. They look like they could fall down at any time. There is moss growing on the rocks. It is the only green thing around everything else is gray. The moss looks fantastic to me because I am starving. Every day I do not eat the moss starts to look like it could be something to eat if I get really desperate. The big gray rocks and the moss, on them are all I can think about when I am hungry.[1]
Life in this place was getting really tough. It has been five years since everything started to go. People were leaving left and right they just got up. Left their homes. Then two years ago the Portal Hall in our town stopped working. The Portal Hall was like a door that helped us get to other places it was the only way to get to the city. When the Portal Hall broke plenty of people left at the time. My father and I we are still here we have to be we do not have a choice people like us, who're in trouble or, in hiding that is who stayed behind.
My father ran away from Emperor Nikkel Manio Pius III a time ago. He was strong. He had big dreams when he brought us to this bad place ten years ago. I was a little kid only five years old and I did not know what we were running from. Now I am fifteen years old. My father still does not want to talk about it. Emperor Nikkel Manio Pius III and the life we left behind are like secrets, to me. If I ask my father about the provinces or the border lands we came from he looks at me with anger and sadness. He stares through me like I am not even there and it makes me feel bad. My father and Emperor Nikkel Manio Pius III are connected in a way that I do not understand. I wish he would tell me what really happened.
Now I have to deal with what is happening. My face is in the mud. I am lying on the ground by a puddle with my arms over my head. I can see myself in the water. It looks all wobbly. My name is Edric. I do not have a name. It is funny because Edric means someone who's rich and in charge. What kind of person in charge ends up with their face in the mud because of some boys from the village who like to pick on people? My name is Edric. I am not really acting like someone who is in charge. I am just lying here with my face, in the mud.
I looked at myself. Said "there I am", in a quiet voice smiling a little at how bad I looked. I am Edric the Nameless that name really suits me.
"What are you saying there Bedric?" a rough voice, above me said in a mean way.
A big boot came down hard on the back of my head. This made my face get pushed closer to a puddle of water. It was Almer who did this to me. His friends. Made fun of me. They like to call me Bedric, which's a mean name. They say it to tease me because I am penniless. I hear them call me Bedric a lot. They say it more often than they say my real name. And I have to say they have a reason to call me that. I looked distressed at that moment. I was lying there in a puddle with a boot, on my head. Almer and his friends thought this was very funny. They were laughing at me. Calling me Bedric again.
I keep asking myself why do I put up with all this? The beatings often happen now they are just normal for me and for everyone around me. My father he really does not care about me at all anymore. I can deal with the pain I can hold back my tears.. What really gets to me is the hurt that my father causes me. Every time something bad happens to me what hurts the most is not the dirt or the bruises, on my body. The fact that my father does not seem to care. He knows that I get beaten up. He says nothing; he just acts like nothing is wrong. He does not care about me or about himself. The man lives like a shadow. He is just going through the motions of life day after day with his existence. He is basically dragging out his life, the life of this man day, after day.
My Father tried to teach me things when I was how to read and write, how to use a sword and how to hunt. We do not have plenty of things at home. We have one exceptional thing: a book with a cover that has plenty of different colors and a blue stone on it. My Father read this book to me when I was six years old. The book told stories about the barbarians, who sailed across the big ocean and wrote down everything they saw. All the different ways to fight with a sword, all the different kinds of magic and all the monsters and beasts they met. But then something changed and my Father did not seem to care about teaching me things this happened about a year after he read me the book. My Father and the book are still important, to me—the book and my Father. That spring was freezing and rainy. It was the first time my Father ever smiled at me. My Father stopped doing plenty of things after that spring. He did not open the book again. In fact the book was the start. My Father stopped taking interest in everything. He just stopped caring about things. It has been seven years since that spring. My Father has not changed since then.
"Stop looking at the water drink it already!" Almer yelled from above. He pushed his foot down harder on the back of my head. This man, Almer is really something. He is short. Has a nose that looks like a pig's nose. He always acts like he is the boss of the village. Almer was. His face was red. Right now his fat face was red with excitement because he was getting pleasure from this. Almer loves being, in charge and making people do what he wants like drinking from this puddle.
This man really wanted me to drink from that puddle. He grabbed my hair. I pushed my head towards the dirty water. For a second I did not even think about the pain. I thought about how silly this must look to someone. The thought made me laugh a little. It was not a happy laugh.
"I do not think you know the story of the fairy tale " I said in a voice trying to turn away as much as I could. "The fairy tale says that the person who drinks water from a puddle will turn into a ram. I do not feel sorry for you Almer. You must have water from many puddles already Almer. Drinking from all those puddles is really not a thing, for you Almer."
He was really surprised. Said "What is going on?" He got more red in the face. Then he said "Kick that man, guys kick him hard!"
A boot hit my side then another one hit my leg. They were already kicking me. When I talked back to him they started kicking me even harder. I got hit a lot on my back and legs and Almer really mad at what I said started stomping on my ribs of my head. It hurt, of course. I could handle it. This was not the time something like this happened to me. Almer was still kicking me. I knew I had to be strong. The kicks, from Almer kept coming hitting my body over and over. I tried to focus on something else anything else to take my mind off the pain that Almer was causing me. I tried to fight before but it always ended up the same way. I would go hungry for a day because they would take the food I had found on my way, from me. This happened every time I tried to stand up for myself and fight back against them. The people who did this to me would steal the food I had gathered. I would be left with nothing to eat. I was talking about the times I tried to fight back.
For a moment I felt furious. I wanted to grab those men and teach them a lesson.. I knew that was not a good idea right now. It was almost evening. I still had to walk through the forest for two hours. If I got into a fight and got hurt it would be bad if I were still there when it got dark. Also I did not think I could handle all three of those men even though Almer alone was not as strong, as me.
I clenched my teeth hard and I just kept taking the beating. My face was all covered in mud. My eyes hurt a lot from the dirty water. Almer was leaning on me with all of his weight. He was still trying to push my nose into the puddle. I was so angry and I was in a lot of pain it was throbbing in my head. Why do people hate me and my father so much? I have been trying to understand this for a long time but I just do not get it. When we walk by the grown-ups turn away, from my father and me. They yell at us to get out of their yards. It is like they think we are diseased or something.. The kids my age they beat me up every chance they get. It would be one thing if I had earned it. I have not. What has a year old kid like me ever done to them I am just trying to get by on hunting and foraging for food. My father has done nothing to them he does not even speak to anyone so what do they want from my family and me from my father and me from the people I care about, from my father?
If you think about it Almer is not really that tough. If I were fighting him one on one I would have beaten him up a long- time ago.. The thing is, Almer is never by himself. He always gets the whole group to back him up. When he pushed me hard my nose almost touched the yucky puddle and I could hear the water bubbling right up, to my nose.
That is enough. I was not about to let the people drown me for their fun. I did not want the people to have their fun at my expense so I had to put a stop to it. The people were trying to drown me. That was not okay, with me.
My body. I grabbed one of Almer'sa worsea worse… pals by the leg. This was the one who had kicked me in the side earlier I think. I gave his leg a yank toward me. The big guy was caught off guard. He lost his balance. He crashed onto his back. Landed straight into the second guy who was standing there. The second guy yelped in surprise. He also went down into the mud.
The grip on my head was not as strong for a moment but that was all I needed. I managed to get out from, under Almer's, and I rolled to the side trying to catch my breath.
Almer was really mad. "You bastard!" he shouted. He was so angry that he was choking and clay was flying out of his mouth. Almer was furious. He could not even talk properly. "We willAlmer's feet," he started to say. He was too angry to finish what he wanted to say.
I jumped up. Took a few steps back looking around really fast. There were three people struggling in the mud yelling and spitting. They looked like they were, in a state worse than I was. Almer got up first making a noise and shaking his head which was covered in mud and managed to stand up. His face was completely covered in mud his clothes were a mess. Seeing him like that almost made me smile. I quickly stopped myself from smiling.
I was swaying because of the pain in my side. I retreated another step. The people who were after me could get it together at any moment. Then I would be in big trouble, with those people.
Vile curses were already flying after me. The trio, spitting and snarling had begun to struggle to their feet. I had neither the will nor any reason to keep fighting the trio. The vile curses from the trio were not worth my time. I. Limped away, from the trio.
The only way to go was through the forest to get back to the village. This path would take me past my house on the edge of the village. Almer and his friends knew that if they wanted to follow me they would have to walk home in the dark and go past my house.. They would have to take a long way around through the thick bushes and prickly plants. I did not think they would do it. The thing about bullies, like Almer and his gang is that they are not very brave. Bullies are really a bunch of scared people.
When their shouts faded away I was able to breathe. My side hurt and my legs hurt too I was going to have bruises for sure. But I was okay I could take care of it. The good thing was, I was still, in one piece. I used my sleeve to wipe the mud off my face then I spat to get the taste out of my mouth. What a day it had been so far. It was not even over yet.
I was not a fighter who was good at battles. Was I a magician who knew a few magic spells? I was a fifteen-year-old boy who did what I had to do to get by. I was not a hero like the ones in the stories I was a regular person. Where was I supposed to find the courage to be a hero when my father was making my life hard every single day? My father was always weighing me down. It was really tough, for me.
No, he is not crippled or ancient he is a man. He used to be excellent with a sword and a bow. He could even do magic. When he was younger the man was forceful. Even though he is not as muscular as he used to be he is still stronger than any man in our village.. What is the point of all that? The man has a lot of strength but his eyes are empty. He has a lot of power. There is no life in him no energy. The man, with the sword and the magic he is a shell of what he used to be our village man.
Occasionally I get this idea that my Father will suddenly wake up and fix everything. Especially when people are mean to his son. It would be easy for him. All he has to do is say something use a little magic and everyone will run away.. That does not happen. My Father does not want to see the problems.. Maybe my Father really isn't concerned about the problems, with his son. I wish my Father would do something to help his son. My Fathers son is the one who is getting hurt.
Today I knew he would not come out to see how I was doing or why my clothes were all muddy and my face was bruised. Asking me about it would not make a difference anyway. It was better for me to use the rest of the day to do something that really mattered like getting some food to eat. Nobody wanted to come into our house because it was, in such bad shape, which meant food was something that I had to get for myself so I could put food on the table.
I was walking down the forest path. It was really wet. The old pine needles and leaves were squishing under my feet on the sand. The wind was blowing out of the bushes. It smelled like damp earth and pine trees. The forest was hushed. Then I heard a branch break somewhere deep in the woods. I do not know what it was a bird flying away or a little animal running by. The village I live in was getting farther and farther away with every step I took. The only things I could hear were my footsteps and the dogs barking really far away on the other side of the forest.
Hunting rabbits in these parts is what I do every day. The thing is, the rabbits here are not like normal rabbits. There is something in the air that has been here for a long time. It is called mana. It has changed the way things grow and live. The animals here are colossal and really fierce. If you are not careful a hare can hurt you badly. I have to be careful when I am hunting rabbits. I use spears that I made myself from sticks. Occasionally I am not even sure if these spears are good enough to catch the rabbits. Hunting rabbits is work and it can be scary. The rabbits in these parts are not, like the rabbits you find in places. They are bigger and stronger. They will fight back if you try to hurt them. I have to be quick and quiet when I am hunting or the rabbits will get away. My homemade spears are all I have to protect myself from the fierce rabbits.
We really do not have real weapons at home. We have a hunting knife and a couple of kitchen cleavers. You would think that going after game with a knife would be a lot easier. The moment I reach for the hunting knife my Father immediately lets out a really heavy sigh. This sigh from my Father is so bad that my hand falls down without me even trying. The way my Father sighs when he sees me with the hunting knife totally kills any desire I have to use the hunting knife.. My Father does not have any problems, with us using sharpened stakes. He is basically telling you that if you do not say anything then the man will not make you ask for things. The man is saying this without speaking it is like the man is thinking that you should keep quiet and you will not have to beg the man for anything.
Sporadically I get furious. Why should I not get angry? What is going to happen if I go out with a knife?. I know arguing with Father is a waste of time. I have learned that by now. He will just. Show he does not approve and then he will not help me with the fireplace. So I keep making pikes. I hope they will be enough for the hunt.. I know that someday they will not be enough. The creatures are getting meaner every year. The meat of mana-mutants is very tough it is, like the leather of boots and it is difficult to cook. If you only have a stick to swing you will probably end up with no dinner. You will also end up with no teeth. This is because a stick is not a good tool for hunting and it can also hurt you if you are not careful with the stick. Using a stick to hunt for dinner with the stick is a bad idea because the stick is not good, for catching animals and you can get hurt by the stick.
I think a regular rabbit is not that difficult to catch with a stick. I know how rabbits behave: you follow their tracks you chase them. Then it is just a matter of doing it right. My hunt today was perfect. I got lucky. Found the tracks of a big fat hare pretty quickly. It took me ten minutes and I had the hare in my hands. I did not kill the rabbit away I just hit it to make it sleepy and hurt its legs so it could not run. Then I ran back to the village fast like I was, rushingmanna,wonderful so I could give the people the rabbit while it was still alive. Today's hunt was a success because I caught a rabbit. So why do people want to stay alive? Well the animals that live around here are astoundingmanna,astoundingastounding. When one of them dies its body instantly turns to stone. It gets covered in a layrushingrusrushingmanna,manna,f mana and that makes it impossible to eat. If you want to have a piece of meat you have to make sure the animal is still warm when you bring it home. It is a bit more dangerous to do it this way. The food is a lot better, for you. The local fauna like I said, is full of surprises. So if you are hunting the fauna you have to be careful. The local fauna is what makes it all worth it because the meal you get from the fauna is wonderful.
I had a rabbit under my arm. It was wheezing. I made it back to the edge of the village just when the sun was setting. The sun was almost gone behind the mountains. People were starting to light torches made from splinters on their roofs. You could see lights here and there above the gray roofs.
The shadows were getting long and the alleys were getting darker really fast. I did not like that. I was walking home through the paths between the old fences. I was hoping that the day would end without anything else happening.
The rabbit was still under my arm. I was tired.. Then I saw some people I knew. They were a gang. They were standing in my way. The village was quiet except, for them. They were blocking my path.
Almer and his two friends were standing by the well. They were all covered in mud. They looked really unhappy. It seemed like they had fallen down in the dirt and that was why they were in a mood. There were many feathers on the ground near Almer's feet. The feathers were probably, from a chicken or a small bird. It looked like Almer and his friends had been trying to hunt something. They did not do an outstanding job.
The man said "Well look who is back,"pleased when he saw me. One of the cronies said this to me. He was not pleased to see the man, which's me. The crony was clearly upset that the man, who is me was back.
Almer jerked his head up. I stopped a few paces away, from Almer my eyes were darting all around. The thing is, I had no desire to get into another fight but those people were standing in my way blocking the path that I needed to take to get where I was going.
I said "So what" in a tone making a frown on my face. I was holding the rabbit really tight against my side. It was trying to get away. It was painful to move because my ribs were hurting a lot from when they kicked me. The rabbit was still. I had to hold it even tighter. My ribs were. It was difficult to breathe. I was really upset. My body was sore, from the kicks I got. The rabbit was moving around a lot. I was trying to keep it calm.
Almer said "We are not afraid of your beastie", in a voice because he saw that I was not going to look away.. When he spoke his voice was shaking a little.
I just held out my arm with the rabbit I caught. The rabbit was waking up. It started to kick really hard in my hand. It was also blowing bubbles of foam from its mouth. It was biting down on its teeth in anger. The rabbit was really mad. It was trying to bite me. I was still holding the rabbit.
The rabbit was huge — twice the size of a housecat, with mangy fur and wild red eyes. Definitely no pet bunny, but a local mutant.
The creature let out a hiss and growl. This scared the thugs. They took a step back. Almer was really startled. He dropped the things he was holding. There were chicken guts in his hands. They went flying everywhere. The bloody chicken entrails landed in the dust. Made a big mess. The sack he was holding fell to the ground too.
"Thought so," I murmured with a half-smile.
The three of them backed off another step looking really upset. It was clear that Almer and the other two had given up on chasing me. Almer, not looking at me bent down to pick up his sack. He was talking to himself in a voice saying "Lets get out of here…" and he did not sound happy. The other two people were just standing there not doing anything. Almer was still not looking at me.
My friends were thrilled to help me out. Once the road was clear I went on my way trying not to laugh out loud. It felt good to stand up to the people who like to pick on me even if it was a small thing. Those people are cowards they fear a mana mutant. I mean the people who bully me are cowards they fear a mana-mutant, like me.
I walked for a couple of minutes. Then I passed the last bend. Our home was right in front of me. It was a crooked house that stood at the edge of the village. This was where the old houses stopped and the old ruins started. The roof of our home had holes in it. Water came in when it rained. The boards, on the porch were old and broken. We did not have glass in the windows instead we used rags to cover them. Our home was really run-down. It was our home, the place where we lived our home.
My father was sitting on the step just like he always does. He had his elbows on his knees. When he heard me coming he looked up at me. I did not say anything to my father. I just walked up to him. Threw the rabbit carcass down, at my fathers feet.
My father looked at the catch. He just sighed. It was like the food in front of him was not something to eat. Something that would cause him more trouble. My father was disappointed again. I could not. Make a face when I saw him like that. The catch was supposed to be food, for us. My father looked at the catch like it was a problem.
I said to him "You hear that?" Then I walked right past him and went inside the house.
As I walked in I let the kindling fall off my shoulder. I had picked up some branches in the forest. The kindling was going to be useful. I threw the kindling into the fireplace. Sat down on a stool that was not very steady. The stool was a little wobbly. I was sitting by the kindling and the fireplace. The kindling was going to help me make a fire.
"Fire now " I said in a voice.
My father did not say a thing. He just reached for the fireplace. Then a little blue flash of magic came out from between his fingers. It made a sound. Thing I knew a big red flame jumped out making a lot of noise as it caught the wood on fire. The whole room started to smell like hot metal. My father used his magic to start the fire of using a flint and some dry leaves to make it burn. I guess his magic is good, for some things.
I quickly put a log on the fire then I had to go back outside to the porch to catch the rabbit. The rabbit was awake now. It was trying to crawl away. I was not going to let that happen. I picked up the rabbit by its ears. I pulled it out from, under Fathers feet. Then I took my knife. I used it to kill the rabbit. I did this by putting the knife through the rabbits head. The rabbit started shaking. Then it stopped moving.
I do not have time to waste. The meat from this creature is special because it has energy in it. This means that the meat turns rigid quickly after the creature dies. The body of the creature was already starting to get a crust on it. If I had waited a little longer the meat would have become as hard, as stone. Now that I have killed the creature I have to cook the meat from the creature away.
The rabbit meat was cooking over the fire a little while after we got the skin off. The smell of the roast was excellent. It filled the whole house getting rid of the smell of dampness and mold. My father smelled the food too. He came over to the fire without saying anything. I gave him a plate made of clay that had pieces of rabbit on it. He took the plate from me without saying a word sat down on a bench that made a creaking sound and started eating. He did not even look at me when he began to eat the rabbit meat.
We sat down to eat like we usually do, in silence. The only sounds were the fire cracking and the stool scraping against the floor. This kind of evening always makes me think. I had a lot on my mind. I was a person who had been working hard to put food on the table since I was a kid. My father, who used to be a good mage and warrior was now just staying at home all the time. He did not do much anymore. My father was living an entirely unique life, from what he used to do.
My Father would go out to hunt on days when no one else did. Usually after we had gone a day without eating anything. My Father and I never went on a hunt together not one time. For some reason my Father never took me with him on a hunt. My Father never told me why he did not take me. My Father would just leave the house. Then come back home with the animal he had hunted.
His methods of hunting were a mystery. He would rather not tell anyone about them. But there were clues that made it clear: the way he used magic was much better, than what people can do around here. A regular person who lives in a village could not do the things that he did. Who was he really? What kind of life did he have before he came here? Occasionally I would try to figure it out…. I could not do it.
My father suddenly lifted his head. Stared at me. I stopped moving because my father was looking at me closely. There was a bit of the old strength in his eyes like he was going to tell me something. My heart stopped beating for a moment. I thought maybe something was going to happen.. Then the strong look in his eyes went away like it was never there. My father turned away, from me. He was quiet as he pushed his food aside and got up from his seat.
The food was not even mentioned no thanks were given, nor was there a comment that it was tasty. Nothing was said about the food. Father walked away with steps went to the dark corner sat down on the bed and turned to face the wall. Then he went to sleep. The conversation, about the food again did not happen.
I swallowed hard. I cleaned up the kitchen. Then I went outside to the yard to wash my face. My face hurt a lot. I had bruises on my cheek and chin. The cold water, from the well made my face feel a little better. I sat down on the porch. Looked up at the moon. It was really bright and cold tonight. The moon's light shone over the yard and it made me feel like everything was going to be okay.. That is not true. At night when it's quiet the moon makes me feel like all my problems are gone.. They are still there. I was sitting on the porch. I could see the yard obviously because of the moon's light. The yard was quiet and peaceful. The moon was shining down on the yard. It made everything look nice. When I think about what I have to do tomorrow I get really nervous. My stomach gets all knotted up. Everything inside of me tightens up again it is like I am all anxious, about tomorrow and what it brings tomorrow is really getting to me.
If I do not make any changes I will just waste away in this place spending my time chasing rabbits and digging up roots. The thought that I will not make any changes is what really bothers me. This is a sad thing to think about. The idea that I will stay in this situation is really upsetting. I think about this all the time. It is very depressing.
I said to myself ". Why am I even doing this…" I spoke really quietly and let out a big sigh. Then I stood up.
The night was terrible. I just could not fall asleep. I was. Turning on the old mattress for what felt like forever. My father was lying on his cot in the corner. He was playing with magic. He did not even get up and he made these little sparks appear above his hand. They were blue and red and green.. He threw them from one finger to another. Each time he did this I heard a high sound, like the sound that a mosquito makes. The night was bad. This was not helping me to fall asleep at all. My father and his magic were not improving things, for me.
I was contemplating using a rag to block my ears. I did not have the energy to deal with anything else. The noise was really getting to me. Fatigue eventually caught up with me. I fell asleep.
I was exhausted. Could have slept all morning if it were not for all the noise outside my window. A kid was shouting loudly right by our yard and that woke me up. I rubbed my eyes because they felt sleepy and then I put on another shirt because the morning was cold. When I went out onto the porch I saw something that made me wonder what was going on. The morning was quiet before that. Then I heard the kid and I got up to see what the kid was doing and that is when I saw the curious scene outside our house the scene outside, with the kid and the noise.
Our broken gate had numerous village kids standing around it. They were all talking at the time with their arms stretched out like they were trying to keep someone from coming into the yard. The village kids were trying to keep a visitor from the yard. The visitor was a woman who was standing in the middle of the village kids. The young woman was twenty years old and she was wearing a nice traveling dress. She had a leather bag hanging from her shoulder. The young woman was holding countless papers in her hand maybe they were letters or notices, from the woman. The village kids were looking at the woman and her papers. The woman had hair that was wavy and it went down to her shoulders. She also took a look, on her face that said she was a little confused. The woman's dark hair was really nice. It suited her. The dark hair and her confused look made her seem like someone who was trying to figure something out.
The boys were yelling at the lady. They were saying "You should not stand here miss." They were waving their arms around. The boys were saying "This is a place we are telling you about, miss. You need to go now miss."
The woman said to the kids "It is okay kids." She was trying to calm them down with a voice but she was also being firm. It was clear that she was afraid to come any to our house. She just stood there. Looked at the kids. The woman did not dare to take another step, towards our house.
The moment I stepped out onto the porch the kids jumped back. Some took one step some took two. A few of them ran behind the fence only sticking their noses out to see what was happening. This was my yard, the yard of Ieron the Plagued, a place the kids thought was cursed. So they said. Okay go on. Leave.
The woman saw me and her face lit up right away. She gave me a smile but it was a friendly one. Like the woman was used to talking to people she did not know very well. Then the woman walked up, to our gate.
" day " she said to me nicely. "My name is Tali Karou. I am a representative of the Capital Academy Tallores Irren Aloni."
I looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. The name Tallores did not mean anything to me. I was also not sure why she was visiting. My side was still. After what happened yesterday I was feeling really down. So I made a face. Asked her in a blunt way:
"And?"
The woman stumbled a little. Then she quickly grabbed one piece of paper from the papers she had and she cleared her throat.
She started talking in a way like she was reading from a paper. "The people in your village are chosen every year to go to school " she said. Your village is on the list this year because our group is going to the parts of the Empire. The academy will give you food and a place to stay. They will also teach you things like how to fight and give you classes with teachers who know what they are doing. You will have access, to a lot of information and new technology. All you have to do is say yes and promise to finish the program. The Academy will take care of everything.
I heard what she had to say and one thing just would not leave my mind: What is it that she wants from me? She talked smoothly like she was reading from a piece of paper but everything she said was a bit confusing. They were talking about recruitment and training. I thought to myself me? Our town is minimal and not significant.. Now the Academy is suddenly interested, in us?
I said "well" again sounding pretty bored. I was still waiting for them to get to the point.
Tali frowned slightly at my tone. She said it in a simpler way:
She said to me "we invite you," and she really meant it when she said the word "you". She wants me to join the academy as a cadet. The academy will give me a place to live the equipment I need a place to train and everything else I need to finish school. All they need from me is my signature, on a paper. Later I have to write down a promise that I will finish the course at the Academy.
I was finally getting an answer. But one thing kept bothering me: was this really real? Could someone really take care of me for free giving me food and a place to live? It seemed too good to be true like someone was playing a joke on me. I looked at them skeptically my eyes narrowed.
For a moment it was like everything, around us just stopped. The kids even quit talking and listened to what she had to say. Her words were really nice. Then this loud and rough voice yelled out from close by:
Do not even think about telling the boy that girl! The boy should not have to listen to that kind of thing. You should not fill the boy's head with that. The boy deserves better than to hear that from you girl.
The man was standing near the neighbor's fence five steps away. He was somebody with wide shoulders. I knew who he was. Uncle Rodin, the man who always causes problems, in our village. He pointed at the woman. Yelled:
Do not even think about saying yes to that. They are just pretending to teach people at those academies. They say they are teaching peasants how to read and write. That is not true. The rich kids at those academies like to hurt the peasants for fun. You will be very lucky if you get to come home alive. You might even get. They might not let you come back to your family at all. Those academies are not places for peasants like you. The noble kids aren't concerned about people, like us they just want to have fun at our expense.
"That is not true " Tali said loudly looking furious. Rodin just laughed and moved his hand. He did not want to talk about it. Rodin spat on the ground because he was very upset. Then he quickly went behind the nearest shed. Tali was still talking to Rodin. Rodin did not want to listen to Tali. Rodin was furious, with Tali. Did not want to see Tali right now. Tali was standing there looking at the shed where Rodin went.
Our visitor was really upset she noticed that I stopped talking after what was said. She was about to say something to him but then she did not say it. She looked at me instead. I was still quietly thinking about what was said. The words were challenging to understand they were taking time to make sense and I could not think about them all at once. Our visitor was still looking at me waiting for me to say something. I did not know what to say. The words were, like a weight they were sinking in slowly and I was trying to understand them.
This Academy thing just did not feel right to me.. At the same time the Academy idea was already growing on me. Rodin was terrifying. Maybe he was not utterly wrong when he warned me about the Academy. The recruiter was nice and all. I did not know much, about the recruiter.
I thought it would be a good idea to bring her back, to reality so I decided to bring her down to earth.
I told her that I was not really interested, in what she was saying. I said this in a voice looking right at her.
The young woman narrowed her eyes. She looked really displeased. This was something the young woman did not hear every day. The young woman probably was not used to it.
I looked away trying to seem like I did not care.. The truth is, my head was already filled with thoughts. What if the things I was thinking about actually happened? The music festival was coming up. I was thinking about it. What if I went to the Music Festival?
I want to leave and get away from all of this. I am tired of hunting and gathering food. Our little shack is falling apart. Is this a dream or something I really want to do? I have spent nights lying in bed and staring at the bad ceiling thinking about leaving. The more I think about it the more I want to get out of here. It is, like a ball of snow that keeps getting bigger and bigger.. There is one thing that always stops me from leaving. What will happen to my father? I would rather not run without saying goodbye to him. That would be very mean.. I do not know if he can take care of himself on his own. He does not eat often without me. In fact he only eats maybe every day. Though the cat does hunt sometimes which is true. The cat can find food on his own when he hunts.
I frowned, catching Tali Karou watching the changing expressions, on my face with a lot of interest. She seemed to know that I was really upset inside. Tali Karou waited for a minute. It was hushed and awkward. Then she spoke up. This time she was really soft:
You do not have to give an answer now. The Academy is what we will be talking about. Tomorrow morning people who are interested in the Academy will gather in the center of the village. The village is where everyone will meet to go to the Academy. From the village we will send people who're interested, in the Academy, including you to the Academy. All you have to do is show up at the village and we will think that you want to go to the Academy.
Tali Karou handed me a piece of paper. Then she left right away. This paper was, like an invitation or something. She seemed upset when she was leaving. I guess that is what happens when you tell someone you aren't concerned about what they're saying. Tali Karou did not like my response, which was that I do not care.
I stood there for a minute looking around. There was Tali and a dozen others like Tali they were all walking around they had invitations in their hands and they all had the same strained look, on their faces. I squeezed the paper in my fingers. I still put it in my pocket. Then I turned to look at the house I did this slowly.
My father was standing there. He had heard everything we said. He was hiding behind the door that was not completely closed. He was not trying to listen in on us. It was clear that he did not miss a single word that the father had heard. The father was standing there and he knew everything.
I had not felt this way in a time but now I really wanted to go to him and ask for his advice. Going to him for advice was something I had not done in a while. This time I felt like I needed to talk to him.
I walked into the room. My father was still sitting on his bed his head was bowed down it seemed like he was waiting for something. Or maybe he was just acting like nothing was going on with my father. My father did not even look up at me.
I said to myself should I go or not and I was thinking about it quietly. I was really wondering if I should go or stay. I was asking myself this question very softly. The question was, should I go or not? I did not know what to do.
It was really hard for me to ask him something, like this. We had not talked about anything in a very long time. I hardly expected him to give me an answer.
My Father suddenly looked up at me. He did not look through me he looked at me with his dark and tired eyes. My heart stopped beating. It seemed like he was really paying attention to me now. Maybe he was actually thinking about what I asked him. I saw something in his eyes that I had not seen in a time. It was like something was alive and warm, in his eyes. I was really surprised. I had not seen my Father look like that in years. My Father seemed different for a moment.
He said that he would manage, so the other person should go. He spoke quietly his voice was barely heard.
He himself is going to manage this. I am not sure if I heard that correctly. Was he really giving me permission to do that? He himself is supposed to be, in charge. I am still wondering if I actually heard him say that he himself will manage everything.
I wanted to ask Father to make sure I understood but he had already turned his back on me and lain down facing the wall. The conversation was over. There were no words, no explanations just like it always is, with Father.
I slowly let out my breath. My heart was beating fast in my chest. I was feeling happy and scared at the time. So that was it. He did not say anything. It was like he was giving me his blessing.. Maybe he just did not care. No I doubt that it is this time. He looked at me like I was a person. This was the first time in a very long time that he did that. He did not look at me like I was someone he had to take care of. Like I was a problem that needed to be solved. He looked at me like I was his son. So he really did want something for me the way a father wants a better life, for his son.
The rest of the day went by slowly. I did not leave the house because I was afraid I would see people like Rodin who would tell me not to go to the barbarian place. I sat by the window. I looked at the family book, about the barbarians but the words were difficult to read. The thing that kept bothering me was what will happen tomorrow with the barbarians.
Outside the usual sounds were there: dogs were barking, somewhere a fire was burning and in the distance people were talking to each other. I tried to eat my food. It was not easy. I could hardly get anything down. I made the leftover rabbit meat from the morning hot again. I forced myself to eat a couple of apples that had worms in them. The rabbit meat and the apples did not taste like anything to me. The food was the rabbit meat and the apples. I could barely taste the rabbit meat and the apples.
By evening, the nervous trembling had subsided slightly. The sky eventually darkened, and once again a pale moon rose over the empty village. Its cold light, piercing the low clouds, flooded our wretched streets. I stared up at it through the ragged cloth covering the window and thought, Well, the decision is made. Tomorrow, everything will change.
[1] I have a second version of this paragraph and I like it better. Maybe it really is better? /// Big gray boulders lined the edge of the village like a crooked fence. In recent years, the rains had worn down their every protrusion; now the heavy slabs hung over the ground, ready to collapse at any moment. Thirsty moss clung to them—the only green patch amid the gray. With each day of hunger, that moss looked more and more appetizing: my starving thoughts wondered if it might serve as food if things got truly dire.