Cars, houses, and all kinds of man-made objects, shattered or strangely intact, drifted one by one into view. They floated there as if reminding everyone that this had once been home to 240,000 Coordinator. The silence of the scene pressed heavily on all of them.
The subsequent search went poorly. The transport teams, which included many non-combat personnel, could barely move in this hell-like environment. Each piece of debris felt like a barrier both physical and mental.
"Ensign, why aren't we moving?" In another group nearby, Miri had already vomited inside her helmet and passed out, while Tolle's face was deathly pale. Siegfried had them return to the ship first, but on his side, Cagalli had lost the ability to speak at all, and even Badgiruel clearly could not continue the search.
"I, I…" Badgiruel started, but her words failed her.
"Keep going," Siegfried said flatly. "Ensign, the resources we need, the things we need to stay alive, are in there. Keep going, Ensign Natarle."
In the original course of her career, such a scene would have made her uncomfortable but not unable to persist. Yet now, under the boy's emotionless urging, the resolute Badgiruel felt fear for the first time. Floating before the three of them were the perfectly preserved bodies of a mother and daughter, suspended in midair, their faces untouched by pain.
"Ensign, is this the justice you wanted?" Siegfried asked quietly.
"N-no, that's not it."
"You want to say they were Coordinator, monsters from the sky," he continued. "That your Alliance Forces had every reason to attack an agricultural satellite. Go on, Ensign. Touch them and see if they're really monsters. Maybe they're just hibernating. Maybe if you touch them…"
"Enough! Enough!" Badgiruel screamed.
Under the relentless pressure, her mind teetered on the edge of collapse. Siegfried still felt it was not enough, and suddenly shoved her from behind, sending her drifting forward in the zero-gravity environment toward the floating bodies.
"No! Don't! Please don't!" Her sharp cry tore through the radio, stabbing into Siegfried's ears. Just before she touched that vision of hell, he grabbed her spacesuit and stopped her.
"Look carefully, Ensign," he said through clenched teeth. "This is the army you call just. Because 'obeying orders is a soldier's duty,' they would fire a nuclear weapon at an agricultural satellite without hesitation if commanded. An excellent example of a soldier, isn't it, Ensign Natarle?"
Was Siegfried afraid? Of course he was. Anyone who felt nothing in front of such a scene would be the one with a broken mind. Before departure, he had specifically obtained sedatives from the medical bay aboard the Archangel, and combined with his prior knowledge, he barely managed to withstand the pressure while tearing apart Badgiruel's pride piece by piece.
Originally, he had only planned to use the environment of Junius Seven to make Badgiruel understand that civilians often had no ability to protect themselves. He hoped that in future handovers of civilians with the Eighth Fleet, she might be more careful, just a little more careful, and perhaps that tragedy could be avoided.
But once everything stopped being flat images and became something truly present before his eyes, he felt a valve inside his heart snap open beyond control. The memories he had suppressed surged up all at once, impossible to contain.
The chance meeting in the cafeteria had not been the end. Days later, the little girl's mother had come to him again, bringing sandwiches made from poor ingredients with her own hands. She only wanted to thank the boy who had tried to run away from the very beginning to find Hilde, the boy who had stayed briefly at their inn and acted so familiar, for protecting them all that time.
The emotions crushed down by sedatives boiled with no outlet, and fear of the future continued to grow inside him. In the end, it all became a brutal interrogation of Badgiruel's beliefs, tearing apart the faith she relied on to stand. Each word was a cut he could not take back.
Leaning against him, Cagalli trembled without stopping. The faint vibrations passed through their suits, reaching straight into Siegfried's heart. He could only grit his teeth and force her to face everything before them.
"A flower that has withered once cannot bloom again," he said quietly. "Life is the same. When your country cannot protect its people, then welcome to hell."
The first round of supply collection ended in a rush. No one could keep working under that kind of pressure while pretending nothing had happened. After returning to the Archangel, Mu had to step in as an improvised counselor again, talking everyone into agreeing to resume work the next day.
As the last work craft to dock, Siegfried brought it to a stop and reached for the hatch. The three of them had not spoken at all on the way back, and even though he had caused it, it was not something that felt good to face. The silence pressed on them until the very end.
"I'm sorry." Just before the hatch opened, Badgiruel caught the last moment and finally said the three words Siegfried wanted to hear. Her voice was tight, as if she was afraid the chance would slip away.
"At this point, you do not need to apologize to me, Lieutenant. Maybe my view is a bit extreme, but a soldier who follows orders is not wrong by default. Still, outside of orders, you should first be a living person, someone with feelings like the rest of us."
"I just…"
"Putting orders above everything only makes a so-called excellent soldier into a machine that kills without feeling. I'm heading back first."
When Badgiruel was about to argue again, Siegfried turned his back to the two of them and привычно lifted the corner of his mouth. He did not look back and only said, simply, "I forgive you, Lieutenant."
Passing the cafeteria, many civilians were inside, including Kira, Sai, Miri, and most of the Alliance Forces personnel assigned to the Archangel. They were folding bright, colorful paper flowers, and under Cagalli's puzzled gaze, Siegfried only glanced once before walking away. He did not slow down or explain.
Back in the room, Cagalli's eyes kept darting aside. Siegfried lay back on the bed in silence, just like the first day they boarded the Archangel together. The familiar position made the quiet feel heavier instead of comforting.
"Haro, Haro, awkward, awkward."
The Haro on the floor seemed to have a loose wire somewhere. After shouting twice for no clear reason, it bounced and hopped its way out of the room, leaving the two of them alone in the same silence. In the end, Cagalli could not stand it and chose to push forward again.
"Why didn't you go…"
"Fold paper flowers? What is there to join in? If civilians do it, you can call it human empathy, but when those Alliance Forces people do it, isn't it just fake? They dropped the nuclear weapons, and now they pretend to mourn, it means nothing."
"But they're not the same people."
"They're all soldiers of the Alliance."
"Siegfried!"