Alexander was on the ground, fully bound by Petrificus Totalus.
Yet somehow…
He was still glaring at the Sorting Hat as if it had personally offended his ancestors.
He couldn't move.
Couldn't gesture.
But he could still speak.
One final threat rang through the hall:
"RACIST HAT! YOU BETTER BE SMARTER THIS YEAR!"
The entire Great Hall held its breath.
Professor McGonagall slowly turned her head.
Her eyes locked onto Alexander.
The death glare that followed could have ended wars.
Alexander's mouth snapped shut instantly.
Not another sound came out.
Professors hurried forward.
Flitwick carefully levitated the Sorting Hat.
Sprout dusted off scorch marks.
Snape repaired some damage with precise wandwork.
Even Dumbledore contributed a light restorative charm.
They did the best they could to restore dignity to the ancient artifact…
…but the damage had been done.
The Hat looked singed, wrinkled, and deeply traumatized.
It muttered under its breath the entire time.
"I did not sign up for this… centuries of service… assaulted by an evil brat once again…"
Once it was at least presentable, McGonagall returned to the podium, posture rigid.
"We will now resume the Sorting."
Her tone made it clear.
There would be no more interruptions.
Names were called.
Students stepped forward nervously.
The Hat sorted — grumbling the entire time — but functioning.
"Finch-Fletchley, Justin — Hufflepuff."
"Granger, Hermione — Gryffindor."
Cheers from the red table.
Hermione beamed.
"Longbottom, Neville — Gryffindor."
Louder cheers.
"Weasley, Ronald — Gryffindor."
Fred and George led the applause proudly.
Everything followed canon placement.
Until—
"Patil, Parvati."
A girl with long dark hair stepped forward nervously.
She sat on the stool.
The Hat dropped over her head.
It paused.
Then suddenly shouted—
"RAVENCLAW!"
The hall blinked.
The Ravenclaw table didn't start clapping but instead looked towards Alexander.
The Great Hall was silent.
Parvati didn't understand what was going on.
She thought Ravenclaw table would welcome her, or at least clap.
But then the Hat froze.
It remembered.
Slowly… nervously… it corrected itself.
"I MEANT — GRYFFINDOR! YES! SHE FITS GRYFFINDOR PERFECTLY! SEE? I AM NOT RACIST!"
From across the hall—
A muffled, furious voice erupted.
"I KNEW IT!"
Alexander was struggling violently against his bindings on the floor.
"YOU ARE RACIST! YOU ONLY CHANGED YOUR MIND TO PRETEND YOU'RE NOT RACIST! AHH — LET ME HAVE HIM — DIE RACIST HAT!"
McGonagall reacted instantly.
"SILENCIO!"
Alexander's voice cut off mid-rant.
He was still yelling—
But no sound came out.
Cho covered her face, mortified.
"Patil, Padma."
The second twin stepped forward cautiously.
The Hat was placed again.
It hesitated.
"Wait… didn't I already sort you?"
A pause.
"Well… I think you best fit in…"
It swallowed.
"…RAVENCLAW!"
Once again, the Great Hall was silent.
Then—
Crack.
Alexander broke out of the binding spell.
Pure brute force and magic shatter the restraint.
Gasps filled the hall.
He quickly drew his wand into his hand.
"ACCIO RACIST HAT!"
The Hat flew off Padma's head.
Alexander sprinted forward—
Jumped—
And descended like a meteor.
"RACIST STOMP!"
WHAM!
"DIE RACIST HAT!"
The Sorting Hat screamed.
"HELP! I MEANT GRYFFINDOR! WHO SAID RAVENCLAW?! SHE IS MEANT FOR GRYFFINDOR!"
Alexander stomped again.
Snape shot to his feet.
"STUPEFY!"
The spell blasted Alexander mid-motion.
He flew backward across the hall—
And hit the floor unconscious.
The Hat wheezed weakly on the ground.
Cho ran immediately to Alexander's side.
"Alex!"
She checked his pulse, relieved when she felt it steady.
Professors, once again, repaired the Hat.
The poor artifact looked spiritually exhausted now.
As it was placed back on the stool, it shouted to everyone—
"YES! SHE BELONGS TO GRYFFINDOR! AND I AM NOT RACIST! GET RID OF THAT EVIL BRAT!"
A few students snorted, trying not to laugh.
Dumbledore cleared his throat gently.
"Do continue."
This time…
There were no interruptions.
Harry Potter stepped forward.
He sat.
The Hat spoke quietly — too low for most to hear.
It considered Slytherin…
But in the end—
"GRYFFINDOR!"
Thunderous applause erupted.
Draco Malfoy later went to Slytherin as expected.
The Sorting concluded without further violence.
Dumbledore stood up and gave his usual speech of welcoming and warnings, then waved his wand.
Food appeared instantly across the tables.
Plates filled.
Goblets shimmered.
Alexander woke up mid-meal as nothing had happened.
He picked up a fork.
Started eating calmly.
Cho stared at him in disbelief.
"You need to go see Madam Pomfrey."
He swallowed casually.
"Just a little exhaustion. Nothing more."
She frowned but kept watching him closely.
Conversation buzzed across Hogwarts.
Older students talked excitedly:
"Did you see that Protego Maxima?"
"A second year shouldn't be able to cast that!"
"And he broke Petrificus!"
"The Hat never stood a chance…"
The first years were still stunned and silent.
They had expected a formal ceremony—
Not a magical public assault.
As for the Patil twins…
They sat at the Gryffindor table, unsure how to feel.
They were now semi-famous.
The only students in years where:
The Sorting Hat visibly panicked…
Changed its decision…
And got stomped immediately after.
Fred raised a goblet toward Alexander across the hall.
George did the same.
"To the Hero Who Defeated the Racist Hat."
Alexander raised his drink calmly.
As if everything that happened…
Had been perfectly normal.
Cho sighed beside him.
Hogwarts was going to be a very long year.