The Great Hall rang with music and the Sorting Hat singing.
Students started to join in and sing the Hogwarts school song in a chaotic mix of tempos — some slow, some dramatic, some completely off-key.
Fred and George, of course, were the loudest of all.
They stood on their benches, arms around each other's shoulders, singing at full theatrical volume as if performing for an opera house.
"A history of Hogwarts—!"
George dragged the note far longer than necessary.
Fred harmonized terribly on purpose.
Their exaggerated performance drew laughter across all four tables — the perfect distraction.
Cho clapped politely, trying not to laugh too hard.
Beside her, Alexander leaned slightly closer.
"Enjoy the show," he whispered.
Before she could ask—
He vanished.
A subtle shimmer lingered for half a second.
Disillusionment Charm.
Cho's eyes widened slightly, but she kept facing forward.
At the staff table—
Dumbledore's gaze shifted.
He had seen the spell.
But instead of intervening…
His eyes twinkled.
He folded his hands and waited.
The final notes faded.
Students clapped.
The twins bowed dramatically.
Professor McGonagall stepped forward, scroll in hand.
She opened her mouth to begin.
"Abbot, Hannah—"
A voice rang through the hall and cut her off.
Clear, Commanding, and Invisible.
"Accio Racist Hat!"
The Sorting Hat flew off the stool instantly.
Gasps erupted.
Before it could travel far—
"Protego Maxima!"
A massive, translucent blue barrier dome surrounded the Sorting Hat.
Students jumped to their feet.
Professors stood abruptly.
"Fianto Duri!" A spell was cast on the translucent blue barrier.
The shield solidified — glowing brighter, thicker, reinforced.
From the Gryffindor table—
Fred and George leapt up, wands out.
"Fianto Duri!"
Their spell struck the barrier.
Strengthening it further.
Locking it down.
Panic spread among the first years.
But the older students—
They knew.
They remembered.
And then—
The Disillusionment Charm dropped.
Alexander Chen stood inside the barrier, smiling calmly as the Sorting Hat floated toward him.
"It's been a while… Racist Hat."
The Hat gasped.
"WAIT—"
Too late.
Alexander grabbed it and smashed it onto the ground.
And immediately began stomping.
"DIE RACIST HAT!"
STOMP
"YOU BETTER BE SMARTER THIS YEAR!"
STOMP — STOMP
The hall exploded.
Fred and George screamed in excitement.
"THE RETURN OF THE HERO WHO DEFEATED THE RACIST HAT!"
Students slammed tables.
Laughter roared.
Clapping thundered.
Soon chants spread—
"HERO WHO DEFEATED THE RACIST HAT!"
"HERO WHO DEFEATED THE RACIST HAT!"
Cho buried her face in her hands, laughing helplessly.
Inside the barrier—
Alexander continued his "education."
Punch.
Stomp.
Shake.
He grabbed the Hat just to slam it on the ground again.
Then he grabbed it again.
The Sorting Hat shrieked.
"HELP! This evil child is trying to kill me!"
Students cheered louder.
"I QUIT! I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN! SCREW TRADITIONS—OUCH—STOP—HELP!"
Alexander raised his wand.
"Incendio."
A burst of flame lit the Hat briefly.
The Hat yelped.
"OH, ARE YOU ON FIRE?" Alexander said calmly. "It must mean your brain is overheating. Let me help you."
He put away his wand, slammed the Hat, and started stomping again.
Outside the barrier, professors were already casting.
"Finite—!"
"Reducto—!"
The shield held.
Flitwick stepped forward, eyes wide behind his glasses.
"Remarkable…" he whispered.
He traced the barrier's structure with his wand — not breaking it.
Analyzing it.
"Layered reinforcement… rune anchoring… at his age…"
He looked more fascinated than concerned.
Snape, meanwhile, looked ready to commit murder.
Dumbledore?
He stroked his beard… and chuckled softly.
It took several minutes of the combined effort of all the professors to finally break the barrier.
The dome shattered like glass.
Snape acted instantly.
"Levicorpus!"
Alexander was yanked upside down mid-stomp.
Students booed jokingly.
But Alexander simply grabbed the Hat on the way up—
Still hanging upside down—
And continued punching it.
Snape's eye twitched violently.
A vein bulged on his forehead.
"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"
The spell struck cleanly.
Alexander froze mid-motion.
The Hat dropped to the floor, dizzy, and still crying.
Yet even fully bound—
Alexander shouted:
"DIE RACIST HAT! YOU GOT LUCKY THIS TIME!"
Cheers erupted again.
The first years stood frozen in shock.
Some looked horrified.
Others looked impressed.
Professor McGonagall finally stepped forward, fury radiating.
"SILENCE!"
The hall went still instantly.
She turned toward the immobilized Alexander.
"MR. CHEN."
Her voice could cut steel.
"FIFTY POINTS FROM RAVENCLAW."
Groans from the Ravenclaw table.
"And ONE MONTH OF DETENTION."
She turned sharply.
"MR. WEASLEY AND MR. WEASLEY. Since you two assisted, you will join him."
Fred and George grinned proudly.
All three spoke at once:
"Worth it."
The hall erupted into laughter again.
Even some professors failed to hide their smiles.
On the floor, the Sorting Hat groaned weakly.
"I request hazard pay…"
Dumbledore stood, eyes twinkling brighter than ever.
"Yes… I daresay this will be a memorable year."