This work is a non commercial fanfiction created solely for entertainment purpose
All characters, setting and item's belonging to existing franchises are the properties of their respective copy right is intended
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So… you know how in those self insert fics they start out "Well I died"?
Well I died… I think… I mean, last thing I remember is shutting down my computer to get ready for bed after a night of writing. Only problem is I'm waking up in a sketchy alley somewhere with a blinding headache. Now normally this would be nothing more than mildly worrying, I'm a big guy and most people aren't gonna mess with someone over six feet and three hundred pounds.
Considering I was just getting over a head cold and with my tendency to avoid sunlight like the plague a blinding headache makes sense. Taking a few moments to get my bearings I start walking towards the nearest alley exit only to immediately stub my toe on a wooden box with my name carved into it.
Taking a moment to swear quietly to myself I check the box over. It's a nice box, definitely an antique, dark wood and nice fittings, and definitely not something I owned before waking up in this alley. Popping it open the first thing I see is a letter or more a page sitting on top of a small rack of items.
Congratulations!
You have gained the attention of "ROB 3141500112". In exchange for providing entertainment you have been granted the following boons*:
Essence of Mad Doctor
Essence of Archmage
Essence of Sorcerer Lord
Essence of Planeswalker
Essence of Blank
Standard Chuuni Outfit (Made to Desire)
Live ten years and you can keep them all forever!
*Terms and conditions may apply, ROB Enterprises are not liable for any insanity, powerlust, or "Insert issue here" that may occur due to being handed phenomenal cosmic power. We just hand it out and watch what happens.
What the fuck did I just read? Well since no one is jumping out of the shadows screaming "Gotcha! You're on Candid Camera!" I'll take it at face value for now.
Looking through what else was in the box I do indeed find five vials filled with suspicious, vaguely glowing liquid and a supposedly magic check I can present to a dry cleaners which will summon my new outfit or so it says. Considering I'm in what I consider street clothes, a t-shirt and shorts that is, and have my shoes on I'm not in too much of a hurry. Don't have my phone or my wallet though.
I check the vials and see that they are indeed labeled as the essences listed on the paper. Normally I am a functional paranoid wreck so I couldn't tell you what made me pop the cork on the one labeled mad doctor and take a swig. When I woke from the subsequent trip I was again laying on the ground only with five empty vials arrayed around me, a supposedly magic check on my lap, and a missing box.
Looking around I can't help but feel like someone stuck a power plant to me, very jittery, like a caffeine addict after a month of decaf. That said I also have a lot of new knowledge knocking about my head making that headache worse. Thankfully as a sorcerer lord I can achieve instant mastery of several branches of magic. I chose Mind Magic, Runic Magic, and Inheritance Verse Magic.
With the mastery of mind magic I quickly manage a mind palace and sort my memories and knowledge, set up defenses, and other utility type things like mental access to my magical core. That quickly deals with the rapidly worsening headache though it gets a bit dicey when I begin reviewing everything I know of various magic systems from fiction to expand my Archmages knowledge pool. It also stuns me just how much I knew about the most useless stuff compared to how much I knew that I could actually make use of back home.
With the headache dying down, I look down at myself in mild shock. I knew the essences would include a new sculpted body, but knowing and experiencing is way different. I haven't been anywhere near this fit since I was in elementary school. I'm still roughly 6'4" but before I was some three hundred twenty pounds of fat. Now I'm perhaps two-twenty and a swimmers body. I haven't felt this good in years.