Ever wonder what it's like to be burnt to a crisp?
Well I have, and I even got the lucky chance to experience it for myself.
If I remember correctly, it happened in the year 1951 on earth. I was still looking for ways to join my family in the afterlife back then. Well anyways, it was a volcanic eruption and a pretty nasty one at that. It killed about three thousand people and practically turned a whole city to ash.
I was wondering if maybe being burnt to nothingness could potentially do me in for good and boy was I wrong.
When the lava was approaching the city and I won't lie, I could have easily left since I was near the opposing side of the city from where the lava was flowing to but I got really curious.
I've always thought about jumping into a volcano but I'm really not a fan of pain and with my curse, I was really terrified of being condemned to a life of literally burning in hell.
So anyways, I walked through the city towards the lava and when I found a flowing river of it that filled up the entire road, I kid you not, I practically swan dived into it from the top of a four story building and it was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Luckily no one saw and even if they did, well they're dead so…
What I thought would be a soft but painful landing, ended up feeling like I was jumping on a solid surface and before I even landed, my clothes had completely caught on fire.
After landing, I immediately regretted my actions and quickly tried to get up but when I looked at my hands that I was using to get up, I realized that they had already melted off.
"AAAAAAGHHHK—"
I was screaming with every fiber of my being but before I knew it, the screams went silent.
I wanted to scream but I couldn't.
I... couldn't.
Why, might you be asking? Well simple really, you can't really make sound out of your mouth if all your vocal cords were incinerated in the over 1000 degree celsius blazing heat of lava that you're currently using as a mattress.
Before I knew it, I was quickly losing consciousness while my entire body had basically fused with the lava like an ice cube that you threw into some hot soup hoping for it to quickly cool off so that you could hurry up and eat it.
Now you're probably thinking, 'that sounds like a very slow and agonizing way to go' but I might be exaggerating just a teensy bit. Yes, it did feel exactly like the way I described it, but it happened a lot quicker than that. In fact, it was practically instantaneous but don't get me wrong, it hurt like hell and I mean that literally. It was probably one of the worst ideas I had in my life. Probably.
But that wasn't even the worst of it.
***
Flash forward 6 months, I finally regained consciousness and what I woke up to was the sound of more screams but what caught my ears wasn't just the screams, it was the familiarity of those screams.
That's right, what I was hearing wasn't just some random passerby getting brutally butchered to death by some crazy psycho killer. Actually, those screams sounded exactly the same as the screams I had heard 6 months prior to when I had the brilliant idea of jumping into the fiery pits of Satan's ass crack.
"AAAAAAGHHHK" I screamed. "It hurts, It hurts, It hurts."
That's right, those screams, they belonged to me. As I was screaming, I looked around me and saw that I was missing my arms and legs and I saw that they were healing, if you could even call it that when it was healing at such a slow rate.
That wasn't even the worst part. When I looked down to where my legs should have been, I noticed my own guts leaking from where my hips should have been. 'Now hold on one fucking second' I thought to myself. 'Where the fuck is my prized possession, that which identifies me as to what I am, my third leg. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DI— '...
After that, I screamed out until it felt like my lungs had burst like a bubble and then I passed out again.
***
After another 6 months, I had fully healed. It took me exactly one year to heal from being pulverized to an atomic level. But in all actuality, it was just my flesh and organs that melted.
When a human is engulfed in lava, it's just their organic matter that goes bye-bye. The bones remain for quite a long while before being destroyed by the heat and thanks to my healing factor, my bones couldn't be completely demolished. So maybe I can die if I'm incinerated to oblivion, who knows?
Anyways, about 3 months before I was healed, a group of residents wandered through the ruined city in hopes of finding survivors. Don't ask me why they thought anyone could possibly survive this but hey, here I am I guess.
When they stumbled upon me, I had grown just about half of my arms and legs.
Saying they were shocked when they found me would be an understatement. Their eyes practically popped out from their skulls.
Anyways, they took me to their refuge but when they saw that I was slowly healing from my wounds… I think they started a cult. Yes, a fucking cult. Did they think I was the devil or something crossing through the gates of hell. Even if I was, what the hell is wrong with these people?
Why the fuck would you worship someone who might be responsible for the demolition of what was once the beautiful city you resided in? Okay, calm down Johan, maybe it's just my ability that they're worshiping. But if that were the case, there are plenty of people who possess a cursed ability, I mean yes, the odds of someone getting one is low but it happens frequently enough that it's a pretty well known thing.
***
In any case, I found myself waking up on a rather beautiful chair. With its tall stature and red cushioning, one could call it a proper throne for a king if not for the yellow paint that someone clearly poorly put onto the wooden frame of the chair.
I looked around to see myself in a church seated where the altar should have been. I was wearing what would appear to be a white robe with gold lining on the edges of the sleeves and some random gold pattern all over the robe.
This outfit looks nice and went well with my physique. I was in pretty good shape, I wouldn't say I'm that muscular but I am quite lean and standing at six feet tall. I'm really 5"11 but nobody needs to know that. Paired with my long blond hair, sharp green eyes and young features that say I look about twenty-two, I'd say I'm among the best looking in the entire world not to seem narcissistic or anything.
Anyways, while I was healing, I sort of just allowed these people to drag me around while I was resting since I was extremely curious as to where they were going with all this and here I am, in a church sitting in a chair where the altar should have been like some deity.
Shortly after, my thoughts were cut off by the loud sound of multiple sets of foot steps inching closer to the door across from where I was seated.
Soon after, the two large doors of the wooden church were completely opened and about forty or so people wearing white robes with gold lining walked in. Their robes were similar to mine but theirs didn't have the same golden patterns as me and they had hoods on theirs which gave off more of a cultist vibe. They all had their hoods down which I thought was a good thing being able to see their faces and all.
In an orderly fashion, they all took their seats. 'They definitely practiced that' I thought to myself trying to keep myself from laughing out loud. After everyone had taken their seat, an elderly figure who I had come to know as Zackariah since he was my caretaker so-to-speak. I watched as he walked into the center of the church and stood about five meters away from me.
Zackariah was a bald headed man who looked trustworthy enough to leave your newborn baby with. His bright blue eyes paired with his soft face said 'leave everything to me' making you believe he could help you with anything.
'I don't buy it.'
"Would you like a glass of water my lord?" said Zackariah.
"Huh?" 'Did he just call me his lord?'
"I asked if you would like a glass of water my lord."
"Uhh, yes please." The next moment, a woman walked up to me and handed me a glass of water that looked like the tastiest water I had ever seen in my entire life.
I took a sip and nothing could have prepared me for what came next.
The old man Zackariah turned around to face the seated people and started speaking while spreading his arms as wide as he could with a straight face. "Welcome everyone, we gather here today to bring witness to a new coming in our broken world, we as a people have suffered great losses to the sudden volcanic eruption that had inexplicably occurred without warning. Many of you have lost their own family and homes to this disaster, yet we stand here together as a whole, as the former residents of our great but small city and as people who will thrive to better this world, the lord has not forsaken us." He started smiling. "An angel has fallen from the heavens to guide us onto the right path. He has come to bring us salvation. This deity's name is Angel Joha—"
"Pffft" I spat out my drink.