Chapter 9 - 8

I lay there on the ground, crying. I don't know how much time has passed, but honestly I couldn't care less at that point. The tears keep flowing, with no end in sight. As I try to process what happened earlier, inevitable overthinking starts. Overthinking of not only this 'dream' i just had to live through, but overthinking of my entire purpose and the reason I went down to hell back then. "Was all this even worth it?", "Do I wanna keep going?", "Did I get this far just to quit?" These are the thoughts wandering my mind at this very moment. I snivel, as the realization hits, that Lust is nowhere to be found. I stand up, and with shaking legs, I start wandering through this unknown place that Lust brought me into. I'm not looking for anything, yet I just wanna walk. I just wanna be somewhere else right now. And this hatred that got me this far in the first place? Suddenly, It's gone. It's as if I'm suddenly devoid of any emotion. Have I pushed my limits this far? Is this the end? I keep thinking and thinking, walking through this massive cave all alone. Until eventually, at a place where light shines through, I fall to my knees, and start praying for forgiveness. And peace - Yes, I think that's the only thing I truly want right now. I pray for my own peace, and discard everything else. I don't care anymore about who else suffers from the Sins and Demons, as long as I can keep myself safe. I start putting myself first, the way I always should have. I forgive myself for being who I was, who I am, and for who I will be. I forgive God for what he apparently put me through when I was alive - Most of it were my own clumsy mistakes that led me to my own demise. I forgive them, the Demons, Sins and the Devil, for they are poor souls that do not know what they're doing, eternally banished into the pits of Hell. I regret killing every last one of them, and ask for their forgiveness. And at last, I pray, even beg, for God to take me back up to heaven, where I should've gone all along. I pray for what seems like eternity. Then finally, a beam of light illuminates all surroundings, until I can't see anything else. And before I know it, I find myself in God's arms. Slowly my vision starts to fade, as I wander with god, back up to heaven.