I am tangled up within these webs, the pressure of loss, and an opponent moving closer to me. I sweat, breathing ragged, and I don't know what to do. The enemy, a half-spider entity, is moving closer at a slow and daring speed, shivers running down my spine. I can make out what exactly it looks like - More female than male and anxiety-inducingly tall. Drool escaping from the corners of its mouth. It looks hungry, and it creeps me out. Goosebumps spread within me. "I don't wanna die a second time!" I think to myself. And for that reason, I move - Trying to free myself from this place I fell into. But I'm wrapped in tight. Until eventually I find an opening to slip my hand free and grip my sword. Right as I am about to unsheathe, I realize that the spider is practically at my neck now. My body shuts down, and I pray I don't make a sound. It is towering right above me now. But just in time, I gain clarity. The urge to survive - It's overwhelming. I disregard all fear, drawing my sword and cutting myself free. With a noise echoing loud, I fall. The spider crawls down along the walls as well. I crash on the floor, letting out an excruciating scream. As I try to recover as fast as possible, I notice something very odd - The spider...can shapeshift? Yes, no doubt about that. What I had assumed to be a half-female, half-spider turned into a fully human and beautiful woman. "Who are you?!" I scream. The voice answering me is soft and almost angelic - Even manipulative to some degree. "How could you forget about me..." she says, meeting my gaze with her head tilted slightly - as if she is worried. My brain clicks as it connects the pieces of who this person before me is. And by now, I know it damn well - but I try to delude myself, doing everything possible so I don't have to accept it. But it's no use. She doesn't even have to say her name. This is Lust standing before me, no doubt. My brain starts sending a whole lot of mixed signals, it almost makes me lose my mind completely. Do I fight or run for my damned life? "I'm already dead anyway.", I think to myself. And that answers my question. Sweat starts dripping off my forehead onto the cold floor, and I snap out of it completely. Almost as if I had suddenly turned into some animal that finally managed to lock onto its prey. Lust, who had already turned back into her full human female form, just stands there, grinning, as if looking down upon me. I lunge and take a wide step forward, prepared to strike her head clean off. But I'm not fast enough. Lust transforms only her right hand back into a spider claw, and deflects my sword with an overwhelming force, making me stumble backwards slightly. I try to regain composure, and frantically block her strikes. We exchange swift and quick blows for what feels like an eternity, a rather metallic sound filling this dark and empty area that is our battlefield, Lust's claws proving an immense stability and strength. And suddenly, a sting. Lust had transformed her mouth as well and somehow got close enough to bite me, just a bit, without me noticing. Despite the damage being practically non-existent on a surface level, I feel myself burning from the inside out, my vision fading, as her face becomes a blur before me. "What...No...", I mumble, but it's no use. Her poison already set in, and before I know it, my vision goes black.
And before I know it, I'm back awake. Just...Back on earth? In my room? Yes, I'm certain. I was now sitting at home, on my chair, in front of my PC. I sense that this is very wrong, but I am unable to move at my own will or do anything else against it at all, so I just end up brushing it off, unintentionally even. The first thing I immediately recognize is this familiar area and feeling - and what I was doing on this PC. Hacking at videogames. This used to be so much fun to me, and now I'm back to doing what was probably one of my favorite things back then. At one point, I start checking the date, and I can barely believe it. I actually went back just over a year in time. It's a random Saturday in 2024. From checking the date, I go back to doing what I was doing earlier, and that for a decently long time entirely undisturbed. And much later that day, as I lay in bed already, I suddenly get a text - From someone whose name I will not mention. But, it was a girl I used to be madly in love with, from, like 5th to 7th grade. There was just one massive problem in that relationship between me and her. We almost only ever talked over text. I used to be such a coward and still blame myself to this day. We were such good friends online, but in person, I didn't say a single word to her. It's as if I was a nobody in her actual life. Which, well, I technically was. And on top of that, it's not that my feelings for her were a secret either to be honest. Maybe I was too open about it? Well yeah, obviously. I know that I was. Later on, at about the end of 5th grade, she moved, and wasn't with me in my school anymore. Despite that, we kept in contact for at least another year. Anyway, at the end of it all, I ended up blocking her, and having to tell her to block me too, cause at some point the conversations were simply dead. And I knew I would simply come crawling back if it wasn't for her blocking me as well. Yep, that's how bad it was. And ever since I switched schools when getting into 8th grade, I promised myself that I would never be afraid of talking to girls, or other people in general, again. Thinking back to all this? Fuck, I loved that girl to death. And I probably still do. I'm pretty sure I sold my soul to the devil for her at one point even. But enough of that. I unlocked my phone and looked at the message she had sent without hesitation. Though my heart still slightly aches at the thought of her. "Hey, just a reminder that it's your birthday in a couple hours lol.", she wrote. And she was correct. It was the 10th of May, 2024, only a few hours away from my14th Birthday. I would've loved to invite her and have her over, but of course I never did that. I type out my response, my hands slightly shaking - I'm always a bit nervous when I text with her. "Yep, that's right haha. Thanks for not forgetting. I'll invite all my friends one day after to celebrate my birthday, we're gonna do dumb shit all night xD" This is what I sent to her. But from there on, it's just silence. And it stays that way, until suddenly, 5 minutes later, I get a jaw-dropping message back from her. "Damn, all night, huh? I was hoping you'd invite me to something too some day..." My thoughts were exploding and my heart was racing. "What am I supposed to say now?", "This must be a dream", "She's just teasing me or something." These and many more thoughts were running around my mind, and I couldn't think straight. And suddenly, I had done it already - She somehow convinced me to meet her, right now, at her house, in the middle of the night. I'm of course very nervous, possibly even scared, but I immediately change into nice clothes, get my jacket on, and start walking - and because I love her, all this fear that I'm feeling at the moment doesn't matter. As I walk through the streets, I notice how empty it is at night. All the lights are off, and you don't come across many people anymore at this hour. Much different compared to when it's daytime. It is beautifully quiet as well.
The dim street lights and the cool air really help me calm down and feel at peace. After close to 10 minutes, I can already see her house from afar, and I can just tell she loves to decorate her home, even if there's no specific holiday around at the time. And now, I actually stand before it - in front of the house of the girl I love. I take one last deep breath and press the doorbell. Quicker than I expected, the door bursts open. "Hey! Glad you made it", she said. And it was the most beautiful thing I've got to hear all day. "Yeah...thanks for inviting me." I responded silently, hoping she wouldn't notice how nervous I am or make me repeat myself louder. "But why now? Couldn't you wait until, like...tomorrow or something?" I expected her to simply brush my question off or not answer at all. But that's not what happened. "I wanted to see you. Really badly...I couldn't wait anymore." she says. Maybe it was because it was cold outside, but if not, she was clearly blushing just now. I don't know what happened to me at that point, but it wasn't something good. My brain was so overloaded with this whole situation, I just stood there, still as a statue, quiet as a mouse, and I couldn't do anything. But soon, the awkward silence was broken, as we both somewhat regain our composure. "You wanna come in? It sure is cold outside. Sorry for making you wait outside so long...", she offered. I nodded silently, and she stepped to the side. The home I had entered was just as bright and colorful as the deco I had seen outside. It soothed my nerves a bit. "You really keep your place clean and nice, huh?" I ask, now almost all nervousness from before being gone. "Of course, silly! A girl like me absolutely has to keep her stuff organized and presentable." She was right. Because, and I haven't told you that yet, she's always been an absolute role model for everyone she's around. Especially at school, everyone envies her - in a good way. They often say how much they respect her for how much work she can put in, no matter how hard it gets. And I guess, that's somewhat why I fell so in love with her back then. "Can I get you something? Water, or something to eat, maybe?" she follows up, saving me from getting too lost in thoughts. "Uhh...No, thanks" I stutter. "Oh, that's alright. Please, sit down anywhere you like." I instantly take up on that offer and let her lead me into her living room, which was straight ahead from when we entered her house. We sit down on her couch, with a certain distance in between us. It makes me remember all the times we flawlessly talked over the phone - we had so much fun back then. But before I can say anything about that and complain, she takes the initiative and does something unthinkable - she scoots all over the couch, all the way right next to me, her thigh touching mine. And as if that wasn't enough, she drops down. And rests her head right on my legs. "Uh...hey, you...I..." I desperately try to say something to get me out of this situation, but it's no use. "It's okay," she whispers. "I know you're not good with words. So please...Let me take care of you." Her voice grows increasingly seductive, as she sits up and throws her legs over mine to sit on my lap. My brain completely shut off at this point, making me unable to defend myself or resist in any way. Her hands grip the collar of my shirt, and she pulls me in for a deep kiss which grows increasingly more passionate. I just sit there, frozen in place, letting it happen, as her hands pull me closer by my neck, and my eyes fall shut. My hands are buried in my pockets, my body temperature increasing as I steadily get more and more nervous. But suddenly, as she pulls back to breathe for a second, she says something very uncalled for. "Come on...please fuck me. Right here, right now." I'm still unable to respond to anything at all, as if something doesn't even want me to. But more importantly, shortly after she says this, I feel something in my pocket - something pointy, and as cold as steel. As if I was possessed, any morals I were supposed to have, are thrown out. I know I'm not supposed to, and I don't even want to do it, but it's the right thing in this situation - well I'm not even sure whether it truly is. But either way, I decide to trust this little gut feeling I have right now. I quickly pull out the unknown object I was feeling in my pocket. I don't know where it suddenly came from. It was clearly not in there earlier, and there was no chance anyone else could've put it there either - It was a knife. We both still have our eyes closed, passionately kissing. Before I even do anything, tears start streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably. But it's too late to turn back. I aggressively start stabbing into her side, as my tears stop falling silently, a clear sobbing now audible. Even as she screams and gasps out in pain, I do not stop. But, as anyone would probably expect, she tries to defend herself, but to no avail. We both fall to the floor, me landing on top of her again. I take a quick glance to the side to see the mess I made - there was blood everywhere. Truly a horrific sight. Blood got all over both of our clothes, and now we both lay on top of each other, with her on the brink of death. As I notice, that she will very likely just bleed out now anyway, my stabbing stops. I stare her into her cold, and soon-to-be lifeless eyes. I'm crying uncontrollably now, the kind of crying where you make a really ugly face, as most of my tears dropping down onto her face. As her life slowly fades, I whisper words that I'm hoping she might still hear: "I'm sorry...I know you're not real..." with that said, I fall over as well, my eyes growing weary and tired. I know this was a sort of dream, none of it was real, but i'm still crazily pissed about it. Once I woke up, I found myself back to reality, down in hell. But one thing was different. I was dangling up in the air, wrapped up in a soft layer of spider webs. Enough to keep me in place, but not if I moved - Which I did. I instantly started swaying from left to right, eventually making the webs give out, making me drop onto the cold floor of a seemingly large cave. I come to my senses properly now, but still refuse to stand up for another while, as I'm still mentally shaken from what I just had to do. I curl up, crying, wallowing in guilt, as I hope for this nightmare to end.