[The Next Morning: 4:45 AM]
The sky was pitch black. The birds weren't even awake yet. The only thing awake in Konoha was the street cleaners and the panicked heartbeat of one Naruto Uzumaki.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"Kenji! Wake up! We're gonna be late!"
Inside the apartment, I groaned, burying my face into my pillow.
"Kenji!!"
I cracked one eye open. The digital clock on my bedside table read 4:46 AM.
"Go away," I muffled into the mattress.
"We can't!" Naruto shouted through the door. "Kakashi-sensei said 5:00 AM! If we're late, he'll send us back to the Academy! Do you want to do maths again?!"
I sighed, realizing he wasn't going to stop. I used a localized [Wind Style] to unlock the door.
Naruto burst in, fully dressed in his orange jumpsuit, vibrating with caffeine-level anxiety.
"Kenji! Why are you still in bed?! Put your pants on!"
I rolled over, pulling the blanket up to my chin.
"Naruto," I said, my voice thick with sleep. "Relax. Take a breath."
"Relax?! We have fifteen minutes!"
"Listen to me," I patted the empty space on the futon. "Kakashi Hatake is many things. A copy ninja. A pervert. But punctual? No. The man respects time about as much as I respect clothing regulations."
"But he said..."
"He lied," I stated simply. "It's a psychological test. If we go there now, we'll just stand in the cold for hours like idiots. Trust me. I have a... feeling."
Naruto hesitated. "A feeling?"
"Yes. My Plot Sense is tingling. He won't be there until the sun is high." I closed my eyes. "Now, sit down. Meditate. Or practice your Sexy Jutsu visualization. Just let me sleep."
Naruto bit his lip. He looked at the clock. He looked at me.
"If we fail, I'm blaming you!" Naruto grumbled, but he sat down on the floor, too anxious to leave without me.
*****
[7:30 AM]
I woke up naturally as the sun hit my face. I stretched, my bones popping satisfyingly.
"Morning," I yawned.
Naruto was sitting in the corner, rocking back and forth. "Is it time? Can we go now?"
"Not yet," I stood up and scratched my stomach. "I'm hungry."
"Hungry?!" Naruto shrieked. "Sensei said don't eat breakfast! He said we'd puke!"
"He suggested it," I corrected, pulling on my pants. "He didn't forbid it. Besides, a ninja needs fuel. Fighting on an empty stomach is scientifically stupid. Your blood sugar drops, your reaction time slows, and you get irritable."
I grabbed my jacket.
"Come on. Ichiraku is open."
Naruto froze. The word "Ichiraku" short-circuited his anxiety.
"Ramen... for breakfast?" Naruto drooled.
"Miso Chashu with extra pork," I whispered.
"Let's go!" Naruto pumped his fist. "Kakashi-sensei can wait! Ramen is justice!"
****
[Meanwhile: Training Ground 7]
The morning mist had long since evaporated. The dew on the grass was gone.
Sasuke Uchiha stood leaning against a wooden post, his arms crossed. His stomach let out a low, angry growl. He glared at the sound, willing his body to stop being weak.
I need power, Sasuke thought bitterly. Not hunger.
Sakura Haruno was pacing back and forth, stomping the grass flat. Her hair was frizzy from the humidity. Her stomach was cramping.
"Where are they?!" Sakura screeched, looking at the empty path. "It's 8:00 AM! We've been here for three hours!"
"Hn," Sasuke grunted.
"And Kakashi-sensei isn't here either!" Sakura ranted, clutching her stomach. "I skipped breakfast because he told me to! I'm starving! I'm going to pass out! And if I pass out, I can't impress Sasuke-kun!"
She turned to Sasuke, putting on a fake, sweet smile. "Sasuke-kun, are you hungry? I... I didn't eat either, teehee."
"You're annoying," Sasuke muttered, closing his eyes.
Sakura wilted. Inner Sakura: "CHA! I'LL KILL THEM ALL! I'M GONNA EAT THE GRASS!"
*****
[8:15 AM]
Footsteps crunched on the gravel path.
Sasuke opened his eyes. Sakura whipped her head around, ready to kill.
Kenji and Naruto walked into the clearing. They weren't running. They weren't sweating. They were strolling.
And worse...
They were picking their teeth with toothpicks.
"Yo," I waved lazily. "Morning, team."
"Mornin'!" Naruto chirped, patting his stomach. He looked full, happy, and energized.
The silence in the clearing was heavy.
Then, Sakura exploded.
"YOU!" She pointed a shaking finger at us. "YOU'RE LATE!"
"Late?" I raised an eyebrow, looking around the empty field. "Who's late?"
"WE ARE!" Sakura screamed, her face turning red. "Kakashi-sensei said 5:00 AM! Look at the sun! It's almost noon! Do you have any idea how long we've been standing here?!"
"Three hours and fifteen minutes," Sasuke said precisely, his eyes locked on Naruto.
He sniffed the air. His eyes narrowed.
Miso... and pork broth?
Sasuke's stomach betrayed him. GRRROOOOWLLL. It was loud. It was tragic.
I smirked.
"Well," I said, checking my nails. "I see three Genin. I don't see a Jonin. Therefore, the mission hasn't started."
"That's not the point!" Sakura yelled. "It's about discipline! Punctuality! We're starving because we followed the rules, and you two..."
She sniffed the air too. Her eyes widened.
"Did... did you eat?" Sakura whispered, the betrayal hitting her hard.
"Yep," Naruto grinned, oblivious to the murder aura radiating from the girl. "Kenji took me to Ichiraku! We had the breakfast special! The broth was super rich today!"
"YOU ATE?!" Sakura lunged for Naruto. "KAKASHI-SENSEI SAID WE WOULD PUKE!"
"Only if you're weak," I stepped in front of Naruto, catching Sakura's wrist effortlessly.
Her eyes met mine. She was trembling with hunger and rage.
"Sakura," I said smoothly. "Rule number one of being a ninja: Deception. Kakashi told us not to eat to weaken us. To make us irritable. Look at you."
I gestured to her shaking form.
"You're hangry. You're emotional. You've already lost the psychological battle."
I released her wrist and patted my stomach.
"Meanwhile, Naruto and I are fueled up, happy, and ready to fight. Who do you think is the better ninja right now?"
Sakura opened her mouth to argue, but logic—and the smell of pork—stopped her. She looked at Sasuke. Sasuke looked like he wanted to Chidori me just to steal the toothpick from my mouth.
"Cheater," Sasuke muttered.
"Winner," I corrected.
Just then, a swirl of leaves appeared in the middle of the field.
"Yo," Kakashi appeared, reading his book. He looked fresh, rested, and not at all apologetic.
"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura and Naruto screamed in unison (though Naruto was just joining in for fun).
Kakashi ignored them. "Well, a black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way..."
He looked at the group. He saw the starving, angry Sasuke and Sakura. He saw the full, happy Naruto and Kenji.
His visible eye narrowed slightly as he looked at me.
He saw through it, Kakashi thought. Or he's just defiant.
"Good morning," Kakashi closed his book. He walked over to a wooden stump and placed an alarm clock on it.
Click.
He set the timer to noon.
"Here's the deal," Kakashi said, pulling two bells out of his pocket. They jingled softly.
"There are two bells here. Your task is to take them from me before the alarm rings."
"Two bells?" Sakura frowned. "But there are four of us."
"Exactly," Kakashi's eye curved into a smile. "Only those who have a bell get lunch. The others will be tied to those stumps... and I'll eat my bento in front of them."
Sasuke and Sakura turned pale. We haven't eaten since yesterday dinner! If we don't get a bell... we'll die!
I chuckled.
"Don't worry," I whispered to Naruto. "I brought snacks. If we fail, we'll just have a picnic while they watch."
Kakashi heard me. His eye twitched.
This kid...
"Ready..." Kakashi raised his hand.
The tension spiked.
"Start!"