I had always prided myself on being an average human—unremarkable, unheroic, and blessedly free from dragon attacks, magical curses, or destiny-shattering prophecies. But apparently, the universe had other plans.
The first clue came when I woke up lying flat on my back in the middle of a marble castle hallway, staring at a chandelier that seemed to be floating five inches too low. A chandelier that, according to physics, should have killed me instantly.
"Uh… excuse me?" I muttered, sitting up and noticing a long black cape swishing toward me at alarming speed.
Before I could process what was happening, it collided with me, sending me sliding across the polished floor like a human curling stone. My face met a stack of books, which toppled over with the elegance of a domino chain reaction. The last book smacked me squarely in the nose.
I sat up, snot dripping, mascara smudged (how did I even have mascara?), and blinked at the man standing over me. He was tall, impossibly handsome, and dripping with aura—the kind that screams "dangerous villain" even if you don't know him personally.
And apparently, I had just… tripped onto his cape.
"Are you always this graceful?" His voice was calm. Too calm. Deadly calm. Like a cat who's just been mildly inconvenienced by a mouse.
"I—uh—excuse me! I didn't mean to—" My words stumbled over themselves, much like my body had just done.
He raised a single eyebrow. The one that could probably destroy kingdoms with its piercing judgment.
"I don't believe we've met," he said, voice velvet-smooth and chilling at the same time. "Are you one of the new servants?"
I blinked. Servant? My office job back home had trained me for paperwork, not spellbooks or sweeping corridors, let alone serving villains.
"I—I'm… I'm not sure?!" I squeaked. My arms flailed wildly, knocking over a nearby vase. The vase exploded into sparkling shards of enchanted glass that hovered midair for a second before falling in a glittery rain.
The villain—whose name I would learn later was Lord Kael—leaned down slightly, inspecting me like one inspects a particularly puzzling insect.
"You're… hired."
"…Excuse me?"
"You are now bound to serve me. Congratulations."
"Oh. My. God. No. Wait, I—"
But the words got cut off because, of course, I tripped over my own feet again, flailing into a suit of armor. The suit of armor fell like a row of dominoes, pinning me against the wall with the kind of efficiency only enchanted metal could manage.
Lord Kael sighed. And I swear I heard an audible facepalm.
"Welcome to your new life, servant," he said, straightening his cape and turning toward the massive staircase. "Dinner will be served in an hour. Try not to destroy the castle in the meantime."
"DESTROY?! I haven't even started!" I shouted. But as I twisted to get free from the armor, my foot caught on a floating candle, sending flames shooting toward the red carpet.
Lord Kael paused, hand on the banister, staring down at me.
"You might be… catastrophic," he murmured, almost to himself.
I took this as a compliment.
The First Day of Disaster
Dinner was apparently a test. I didn't know this until I accidentally spilled a jug of enchanted wine on Lord Kael's lap, sending him into a temporary levitation frenzy. Somehow, this was supposed to be graceful dining. I ended up being scolded for "too much enthusiasm with liquids."
Then came the potions incident. There was a tray of brightly glowing concoctions that smelled suspiciously like bubblegum mixed with burning sulfur. I was tasked to deliver them to Kael's laboratory.
Naturally, I tripped. Naturally, one potion landed in Kael's hair. Naturally, it exploded in a rainbow of sticky smoke.
He emerged from the smoke like a brooding statue with glitter in his hair, clearly unimpressed.
"Do you always cause chaos wherever you go, or is this a special talent?"
"I—uh—it's… a gift?" I said, voice trembling.
"Yes," he said flatly. "A very dangerous gift."
Hints of a Greater Danger
Despite my constant chaos, Kael didn't seem particularly angry. If anything, he looked… concerned. There were small details I noticed:
A series of magical sigils around the castle that hummed faintly.
Odd notes in his study mentioning a "Mastermind" I didn't understand.
Whispers from the staff about events happening in another kingdom.
But of course, I was too busy knocking over a candleholder to pay attention.
By the end of the day, I was covered in soot, glitter, and sticky rainbow potion residue. Kael simply looked at me, arms crossed, and said:
"You may be the worst servant in history. Or… exactly the one I need."
I stared at him, stunned.
"…What does that mean?"
"Nothing… for now," he said, his smirk barely visible beneath his icy composure.
I had always prided myself on being an average human—unremarkable, unheroic, and blessedly free from dragon attacks, magical curses, or destiny-shattering prophecies. But apparently, the universe had other plans.
The First Clue
The first clue came when I woke up lying flat on my back in the middle of a marble castle hallway, staring at a chandelier that seemed to be floating five inches too low. A chandelier that, according to physics, should have killed me instantly.
"Uh… excuse me?" I muttered, sitting up and noticing a long black cape swishing toward me at alarming speed.
Before I could process what was happening, it collided with me, sending me sliding across the polished floor like a human curling stone. My face met a stack of books, which toppled over in perfect domino fashion. The last book smacked me squarely in the nose.
I sat up, snot dripping, mascara smudged (how did I even have mascara?), and blinked at the man standing over me. He was tall, impossibly handsome, and dripping with aura—the kind that screams "dangerous villain" even if you don't know him personally.
And apparently, I had just… tripped onto his cape.
"Are you always this graceful?" His voice was calm. Too calm. Deadly calm. Like a cat mildly inconvenienced by a mouse.
"I—uh—excuse me! I didn't mean to—" My words stumbled over themselves, much like my body had just done.
He raised a single eyebrow. The one that could probably destroy kingdoms with its piercing judgment.
"I don't believe we've met," he said, voice velvet-smooth and chilling at the same time. "Are you one of the new servants?"
I blinked. Servant? My office job back home had trained me for paperwork, not spellbooks or sweeping corridors, let alone serving villains.
"I—I'm… I'm not sure?!" I squeaked. My arms flailed wildly, knocking over a nearby vase. The vase exploded into sparkling shards of enchanted glass that hovered midair for a second before falling in a glittery rain.
Lord Kael—whose name I would learn later—leaned down slightly, inspecting me like one inspects a particularly puzzling insect.
"You're… hired."
"…Excuse me?"
"You are now bound to serve me. Congratulations."
"Oh. My. God. No. Wait, I—"
But of course, I tripped over my own feet again, flailing into a suit of armor. The suit of armor fell like a row of dominoes, pinning me against the wall with the kind of efficiency only enchanted metal could manage.
Lord Kael sighed. And I swear I heard an audible facepalm.
"Welcome to your new life, servant," he said, straightening his cape and turning toward the massive staircase. "Dinner will be served in an hour. Try not to destroy the castle in the meantime."
"DESTROY?! I haven't even started!" I shouted. But as I twisted to get free from the armor, my foot caught on a floating candle, sending flames shooting toward the red carpet.
Lord Kael paused, hand on the banister, staring down at me.
"You might be… catastrophic," he murmured, almost to himself.
I took this as a compliment.
Dinner Disaster #1
Dinner was apparently a test. I didn't know this until I accidentally spilled a jug of enchanted wine on Lord Kael's lap, sending him into a temporary levitation frenzy. Somehow, this was supposed to be graceful dining. I ended up being scolded for "too much enthusiasm with liquids."
Then came the potions incident. There was a tray of brightly glowing concoctions that smelled suspiciously like bubblegum mixed with burning sulfur. I was tasked to deliver them to Kael's laboratory.
Naturally, I tripped. Naturally, one potion landed in Kael's hair. Naturally, it exploded in a rainbow of sticky smoke.
He emerged from the smoke like a brooding statue with glitter in his hair, clearly unimpressed.
"Do you always cause chaos wherever you go, or is this a special talent?"
"I—uh—it's… a gift?" I said, voice trembling.
"Yes," he said flatly. "A very dangerous gift."
Castle Staff Chaos
By mid-afternoon, I had:
Set fire to the kitchen oven
Knocked over a suit of armor (again)
Released three enchanted cats that proceeded to chase each other through the halls
Accidentally brewed a potion that made the castle's chandeliers float upside down
The castle staff had begun avoiding me entirely, whispering things like:
"She's… unpredictable."
"Do not stand near her!"
"We are doomed."
I tried to apologize. Each apology somehow made things worse. One "sorry" knocked over a broom, which set off a chain reaction that triggered the castle's alarm system. A magical bell shrieked. A flock of glowing birds appeared out of nowhere. And somewhere, someone yelled, "It's a trap! The villain's betrayed us!"
I was genuinely terrified—until Kael appeared, levitating in the center of the chaos, arms crossed, looking exactly like a villain poster on a motivational wall.
"You are… fascinating," he said. "And terrifying. But fascinating."
Hints of the Hidden Mastermind
Despite my constant chaos, Kael didn't seem particularly angry. If anything, he looked… concerned.
I noticed a few things:
A series of magical sigils around the castle that hummed faintly.
Odd notes in his study mentioning a "Mastermind" I didn't understand.
Whispers from the staff about events happening in another kingdom.
But of course, I was too busy knocking over a candleholder again to pay attention.
By the end of the day, I was covered in soot, glitter, rainbow potion residue, and half a floating chandelier that had somehow stuck to my hair. Kael simply looked at me, arms crossed, and said:
"You may be the worst servant in history. Or… exactly the one I need."
I stared at him, stunned.
"…What does that mean?"
"Nothing… for now," he said, his smirk barely visible beneath his icy composure.
The Accidental Hero Moment
Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse, a small fire ignited in the storage room—probably caused by my spilled potions. The flames were spreading to magical scrolls containing spells we definitely didn't want destroyed.
Without thinking, I grabbed a nearby enchanted bucket and accidentally poured the potion-turned-fire-retardant all over the flames. Not only did it extinguish the fire, but it also activated a protective ward, saving half the castle in the process.
Kael's eyes widened. "Well… that was… impressive," he said.
"Yeah… totally planned," I said, trying to act like I was a competent servant.
"Hmm," he said, smirking faintly. "You might just survive this after all."
I wanted to celebrate, but then I tripped over the bucket and landed face-first in a pile of glittering spellbooks.
Perfect.
And that's how I, an ordinary office worker, accidentally became the servant of a villain, spent my first day almost burning down a castle, tripped over magical potions, accidentally saved the castle from fire, and somehow became the center of a mystery I don't even understand yet.
Great.
Just… great.