The moon was shining through the clouds, as if it wanted to observe as best it could what was happening under its ethereal and ghostly light. Illuminating shyly in this room, where a boy was sleeping or at least was trying to. Seven days since the start of his routine, seven nights of nightmares. Always the same, one that came from something far too deep to be handled in a single week or a single life. So if one can't treat the cause of a problem, then the solution might reside in the treatment of its consequence, right? It may not heal a wound, but it should help with pain or something like this. Sunless wasn't truly sure about it, but still, what else could he do about it if not follow the advice that was given to him? It had helped him the first night and the second...and all the others until now.
That was why, after he woke up from this oneiric torture with sweat covering his body and soaking his clothes, his hand immediately reached for the golden bell. It was hard, you know? To push through this crippling fear instead of just hiding under his blanket.
He wanted to stay in the dark so that his tears would never be known nor seen by anyone. And he tried to keep them like this, using the sleeve of his nightshirt to erase them from existence. He didn't have that much time since she was quick to come after the bell was rung.
KNOCK KNOCK
-"Sunless. Enter. Can I?"
-"...You can enter, Jeanne."
Even though the room was clearly more in the darkness than anything else, except for the moonlight passing through the curtain, he had hoped that she didn't come to see his puffy eyelids. Because, when she opened the door, he was already able to feel her tired golden gaze upon him. Then...little sparks of light came from the surrounding nothingness on her left hand. They didn't stay that long, just a second or two, but in their wake was left a candle that lit itself.
In the shadow of this world, a light was coming for him. Jeanne was already moving in his direction as she simply put the sole little flame on the nightstand.
Bending her knee to get at this height, she simply asks one question.
-"Getting up. Need help?"
A simple answer was given, his little head shaking sideways.
It was enough for her, so she simply started to prepare the wheelchair just like for the six nights before. At that moment, Sunless was already moving to leave his bed. His upper body was easy to move, but it was really his legs that caused all that trouble. No, not only that…
-"Chest pain?"
What he called the prison made of thorns at a time had never truly left. But since he had had it for a few months now, he had weirdly learned how to not trigger it. But hey, compared to before his arrival here, the pain was bearable even if it seemed to come much more easily. Yet, the uncanny sensation was still there, as if his mind was now aware of something to watch over.
But tonight…
-"Nothing…"
-"Good. Now...Hop on."
Compared to before, moving his legs was possible, but walking was still a no-go. All he could do was to stand and make a step or two to reach the wheelchair on his own. He was both happy and exhausted about it, as if he didn't know if the glass was half full or half empty.
As Jeanne was about to retake her candle, Sunless started to speak with a lower tone than usual.
-"Jeanne... Your candle, it's a Memory right…? Can I hold it, please?"
An entire week of holding back this question, and for what?
-"Of course."
Sunny froze at this instant because he didn't expect the answer to be that fast or positive. She was already moving around him, only to show him where to put his hands under the candlestick. It was made from something cold; he couldn't really understand if it was something metallic or if it was made of some stone that was polished in a weird way.
Still, he was fascinated.
-"Thank you, Jeanne…"
-"You welcome. Now. Don't move."
Acting like the light bearer, Sunny only had to watch as his wheelchair was pushed by the kind woman. It was still funny for him to be like this, his mind reminiscing about the last few nights. The first one, he had tried and loved the thing called "Waffle." But sadly, Jeanne had to come the night after for the same reason as before. Only this time, he didn't bite her; it was progress, to say the least.
It was at that time that she had asked Ashe to give her the other piece of the bell, the one receiving the signal. So if anything happened again, she would be the one coming over, and he wouldn't wake up everyone. As for the third night…
-"This time too. Didn't scream. I'm happy."
He didn't know if she was happy because he didn't have to scream or simply because she didn't have to hear it. Said like that, he was already thinking of any way she could kill him. And the number of answers was high…
But yeah, the third night, things became intense, and he woke up while screaming like a madman as a storm was raging outside. It was the only time that someone else got to hear him react to his nightmare other than Jeanne. And as if the world was here to punish him, it was Nephis that came to see what happened. He can remember it clearly, as she just looked at him without saying a word. But lucky for him, a tired, golden-haired woman was already there to handle things and told her to return to her room.
It was said only one time, but she took a long moment to truly leave them alone. Now that he got to think of it, she seemed not that sleepy at that time, as if she was already awake before that happened.
More importantly, it was that night that Jeanne had, for the first time, to observe and handle his chest pain. Since then, she always asks if those are back or not.
Sincerely, he wasn't sure if he had to worry about it or not. Since he had that moment now, and outside this "little" problem, he was completely fine. Like, for someone from the outskirts, he was quite lucky. He had a name, a peculiar one maybe, but a name still. More than that, he wasn't crippled and still had all his limbs.
It was not unusual to see some kids having one or two fingers missing out there. That was the Caretaker that would help them reattach them or simply take care of the wound.
-"Does it have a name?"
-"Huh?"
-"This Memory, does it have a name?"
Breaking the silence of the night, curiosity had gotten the best of Sunless. But Jeanne simply gave him a little chuckle, a weak one, but he is sure that it was there.
After a moment of nothingness, she asked,
-"A reason? For asking?"
The intonation was helping him understand her a little bit more. She was not asking for a reason why she should have told him, but it is more likely that she was simply curious about his new interest.
And the answer was given with a hint of sadness in it:
-"Because everything should have a name... Something or someone without a name would be simply sad, don't you think?"
She kept pushing the wheelchair without answering, and Sunless had to push himself to look at her. Because even now, what if instead of Jeanne, there was something else pushing him? Something that would put chains on his ankles and hunt him down like the rat he w-
-"You're right. Speaking of names. Why Sunless?"
After hearing this question, his shoulder slightly dropped as the reality caught back from those moments of tranquility.
-"My mom… I was born during a solar eclipse, and since my parents' names were based off the stars, she wanted something to go along with a similar idea. So from the start, she...chose the weather. Sunless, son of Luna and Elios... And m-"
Stopping himself, the thought of sharing information about Rain was still not an option. Jeanne might have an idea of something, but he didn't want to confirm any doubt. He liked her; she was sincere with him, and it felt natural, but still, he wouldn't go so far as to say that he trusted her.
Trust was a lie.
Trust needs to use something as leverage to ensure protection against betrayal.
He had seen too much of it to know that blindly trusting people was just an invitation to get stabbed in the back. Only the strong were safe to trust people, and even then, it was something pure or righteous. It was fear imposed in a dressing of soft and gentle words. Because no one would dare to defy the words or the will of the strong.
The strong talk, and the weak follow. Of course there were some ways to act against it, acting like a group with people moving with the same goal. But the risk of having someone weak-minded was still there. Isn't it why rations were drugged at a time? To impose a will against someone else using something other than strength?
Jeanne, on her side, didn't even try to ask anything about his sudden stop during his explanation.
Compared to when Ashe helped him move during the day, Sunny was moving slower, taking a lot more time to reach the stairs. After, Jeanne was trying to help him calm down, so it was better not to rush things. Still, in those moments, Sunny started to ask himself why it had to be Ashe that took care of him during the day.
And why shouldn't he ask right now?
-"Jeanne...does it have to be Ashe that keeps an eye on me? She's not bad, but...it doesn't feel right."
She took a second to respond:
-"And? With me? It does?"
To his greatest displeasure, being the one holding the light came with the cost of not being able to hide his expression in the dark. So actually, Jeanne was surely watching a boy that didn't even know how to express himself correctly on that matter. Feeling things was easy, and thinking them too, but sharing it? It was as if his entire body was rejecting that idea...that...risk?
Lying was not something good; his mother had always told him so... But the truth was never good to be shared or known. A lie is far easier to tell, even if you know that the person in front of you knows that you're lying.
All that matters is that the truth shall never be confirmed.
-"You're slightly better, but nothing too impressive…"
He was a jerk. He knows that...
And his "respecting people's effort talk"? Was he a hypocrite? Maybe, but he prefers being a hypocrite to exposing himself. He had to keep his distance from everyone, not getting too close. After all, he was leaving in three weeks from now if nothing unexpected happened.
He truly hopes that he didn't jinx himself with that type of thinking.
-"Ashe. Only option. Available. Sorry…"
Her voice seemed a bit disappointed, and Sunless was trying his best not to think of it. It would hurt… Just to be a reason behind someone suffering. No, it was surely because it was her that was impacted that it would hurt. Because she's taking care of him like no one before, and for that, he respected her. Despite his lies and secrets that were known by her, he had started to take a liking to Jeanne.
Leaving his thought, he suddenly realized that he was already on another floor. She had carried him so smoothly on the stairs that he didn't even feel it.
Moving slowly, if no one was speaking, there would be no noise coming from them. And to his surprise, Jeanne was now reaching for the candle, making it disappear. Sunless had to turn his head to face her, as the moonlight was beaming with just enough strength for him to see her.
She had her...index in front of her mouth.
He was about to panic until he saw her little grin on the corner of her mouth. She really does look younger when she smiles like that. So without a word, he simply nods.
After that, they moved again, toward the same room as before. It was only when they were about to reach it that he finally saw it. The door wasn't closed correctly, which never happened before; Jeanne might have noticed it before him. So if someone was inside, why does he have to be silent? And why does Jeanne seem so amused, if not happy, about this situation?
Without a word shared, she simply kept pushing until they got to reach that said door. He was just close enough to be able to lean toward the gap without being seen. Jeanne was already doing it, so it was quite simple to see it as an invitation to do so.
And without wasting much time on an unasked reflection, Sunless was trying to see what was so interesting.
-"It's shoo good… Gods, Vincent truly...the besht cook…"
There was not much light in there, but that wasn't a problem since the little girl was with a flashlight. Illuminating her plate of waffles so she can cover them with some syrup, her black hair only visible thanks to the light she took with her. It was like having a stroke of black ink made onto a white canvas, marking its existence for the world to see, so she can never be ignored nor forgotten.
Was it truly her?
'She seems so...different.'
The coldness in her voice was nowhere to be heard. It was like he was watching somebody else, which was weird to say since he had only talked to her once and saw her only two times. But since his first interaction with her had been a threat to his very being, it was easy to say that Sunless had a clear picture of her in his mind. One of someone he wouldn't try to talk or reason with.
Behind him, Jeanne was reaching for his right ear, murmuring something to him:
-"Nephis possesses a sweet tooth, so much so that our cook will leave on the table something to eat every night so she can enjoy it without anyone to disturb her… What you're seeing is what Nephis can be when no one is looking."
If Jeanne knew how to speak this low, Sunless wasn't truly sure about that for himself. So he simply kept his thought to himself. Still looking at the girl...acting like one. Like a child. Was he supposed to be like her? Acting like her if life had been a little less hard on him? That thought was simply a fantasy. Because even with his parents and Rain, Sunless would never have had the opportunity to do so. Nephis was born as a Legacy, and he as a rat.
Putting his hand on the wheels, he was trying his best to move back. The message was clear: he wasn't hungry, and he didn't even want to stay here… The darkness of his room was calling him.