Three days after the project announcement, Liam received the text he was hoping for:
Hayley: Hi, it's Hayley. Bethany got sick. Can we do the family observation part at my house today? My parents said it's okay.
Liam stifled a victory shout—this was earlier than expected in the pilot, but the system was adapting. He checked his menu:
Points: 85,473
Skills purchased: 0
Active mission: "A Genetic Project" (60% completed)
He needed to buy something before going. He browsed the options:
Comic Timing (Level 1) - 15,000 points → Increases probability of jokes being well-received by 30%
Understanding Phil (Level 1) - 10,000 points → Understands 50% of Phil's references
Calming Claire (Level 1) - 25,000 points → Reduces her initial suspicion level by 40%
Surviving Gloria in Spanish (Level 1) - 20,000 points → Understands 30% of her Spanish comments
He decided on Understanding Phil (Level 1) and Comic Timing (Level 1). He spent 25,000 points, leaving him with 60,473.
Skills activated:
You can now detect when Phil is making a joke (even the bad ones)
Your sense of timing for humorous interventions is slightly improved
He arrived at the Dunphy house at 4 PM, exactly as agreed with Hayley. As he walked to the door, he heard familiar voices from inside:
"Luke, stop pointing that at your sister!" - Claire
"It was an accident!" - Luke
"Statistics show 97% of toy gun 'accidents' are premeditated" - Alex
"Where did you learn that?" - Phil
"The internet, Dad. We live in the information age." - Alex
Liam smiled. It was exactly like the show, but more real, more chaotic. He took a breath and rang the bell.
The door opened to reveal Claire Dunphy, with a forced "responsible mother" smile.
"Hi, you must be Liam. I'm Claire, Hayley's mom. Come in."
System check: Calming Claire not acquired - Suspicion Level: Moderate
"Thank you, Mrs. Dunphy. Sorry for the intrusion."
"It's not an intrusion, it's... educational." Claire scanned him from head to toe. "Hayley is upstairs. But before you go up, just a few quick questions..."
"Claire, let the boy breathe," said Phil, appearing out of nowhere. "Hi, I'm Phil. Phil Dunphy. Cool dad."
Skill "Understanding Phil" activated: Detected "cool dad" as an attempt to establish modern parent credentials.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Dunphy."
"Please, call me Phil. Or 'The Fort' if you prefer. Joke, nobody calls me that. Yet."
Claire rolled her eyes. "Phil..."
"Just kidding, honey! So, Liam, I see you brought... a folder? Very organized. I like it."
At that moment, Luke came down the stairs with a bike helmet on his head and a towel as a cape. "Are you Hayley's boyfriend?"
"Luke..." Claire warned.
"Just a project partner," Liam said quickly.
+300 points - Avoided initial misunderstanding
Alex appeared at the top of the stairs. "The probability that he's just a project partner is 63%. The remaining 37% includes: unrequited romantic interest (22%), government spy (8%), or alien (7%)."
Phil laughed. "That's my Alex! Always with the data."
Liam decided to use his new Comic Timing skill. "Based on my limited knowledge of alien taxonomy, I'd say if I were an extraterrestrial, I would have chosen a simpler life form. Like an amoeba. Fewer questions."
Phil burst out laughing. "I like this kid! He's got spunk!"
+1,500 points - Phil Dunphy approved
Claire's Suspicion Level reduced by 15%
"Alright, go on up," said Claire, still watchful but less tense. "And remember: door open."
"Of course, Mrs. Dunphy."
Upstairs, Hayley was in her room looking at her phone. "Hey. Bethany has the flu. Sorry."
"No problem. Shall we start?"
As they got out their materials, Liam heard Claire whispering to Phil in the hallway: "...and I want you to check every fifteen minutes..."
"Claire, relax. The kid seems normal."
"Normal? Did you see how he responded to Alex? That's not normal for a teenager."
Liam smiled to himself. It was working.
The project involved tracing genetic traits across three generations. Hayley had pictures of her grandparents, her parents, and herself and her siblings.
"My grandpa Jay is... well, he's Jay," said Hayley, showing a photo. "My grandma lives somewhere else; they separated."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. My uncle Mitch is with Cam, although my grandpa is still uncomfortable about it." Hayley seemed a little uncomfortable. "It's complicated."
"Families are always complicated," said Liam. "Mine too."
As they worked, they heard a thump followed by a yell downstairs.
"I did it again!" - Luke
"On the banister again?" - Phil
"I told you I needed baby oil" - Claire
Hayley sighed. "Sorry. My family is..."
"Genetically prone to getting stuck in furniture?" suggested Liam.
Hayley laughed. "Something like that."
+800 points - Hayley's second genuine laugh
Mission Progress: 80% - 2/2 memorable moments created
They went down to help (or rather, to watch as Phil tried to free Luke). In the living room, the scene was exactly like the pilot: Luke with his head stuck, Phil looking for oil, Claire stressed.
"Can I help?" asked Liam.
Claire looked at him, surprised. "Do you know anything about... this?"
"Theoretically. The coefficient of friction between varnished metal and human skin is approximately 0.4, but with mineral oil it can be reduced to 0.1." Liam blinked, realizing he had used knowledge a 17-year-old shouldn't have.
Alex looked at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Where did you learn that?"
DANGER! Risk of revealing meta-knowledge
"Uh... documentary. On the Discovery Channel." Weak lie, but it worked.
Phil found the oil and freed Luke. "Free as a bird! Well, like a bird that just had its head stuck."
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"That must be Dylan!" said Hayley, getting nervous.
Claire went on alert. "Dylan? The senior?"
The system showed a new notification:
Special event in progress!
"Hayley's First Boyfriend"
Opportunity to earn bonus points
Intervening could alter timeline - Proceed?
Liam chose "Observe only." He didn't want to ruin the pilot's iconic moment.
What followed was an almost exact recreation of the scene: Claire interrogating Dylan, Phil trying to be "cool" and failing, the awkward handshake...
But then, something unexpected. When Phil attempted his "intimidating father" look, he slipped on the baby oil left on the floor. Instead of falling backward like in the episode, his foot slid forward, straight toward Liam.
Instinctively, Liam caught him. "Whoa! I've got you, Mr. Dunphy."
Phil, now precariously held up by a teenager, blinked. "Uh... thanks."
Dylan, who in the original episode had carried Phil, stood there with his mouth open.
ALTERATION DETECTED
NEW COMIC RESULT!
+5,000 points - Intervention created humorous variation
Claire looked at the scene: her husband being held up by her daughter's classmate while the potential boyfriend watched. "Phil... are you okay?"
"Yes! Just... demonstrating the confidence I have in today's youth. Liam here is... strong."
Liam helped Phil regain his balance. "You're welcome. And Dylan, don't worry, I don't normally have to stop my classmates' parents from falling."
Dylan smiled goofily. "Cool."
The tension broke. Hayley took Dylan upstairs, Claire watched them go, and Phil approached Liam.
"That was... impressive. Do you play any sports?"
"A bit of climbing," Liam lied. In his previous life, he'd actually done yoga for ten years.
"Well, thanks. I almost ruined the paternal intimidation moment."
"I think you did fine. The message came across: 'I can fall at any time. Be afraid.'"
Phil laughed. "Exactly! That's exactly what I meant."
As Phil walked away limping slightly, Alex approached Liam.
"Let's analyze what just happened," she said. "You intervened to prevent my father from falling, which altered the predicted social dynamic. Dylan, who normally would have demonstrated strength by carrying my father, lost that opportunity. This could affect his status in Hayley's mating hierarchy."
Liam looked at her. "Or... we just prevented your dad from getting hurt."
Alex smiled slightly. "That's a simpler interpretation. But less interesting."
+2,000 points - Memorable interaction with Alex Dunphy
Liam decided it was time to leave. He'd accomplished his mission and more. As he said goodbye, Claire seemed genuinely grateful.
"Thanks for your help, Liam. And for... you know, preventing Phil from ending up in the hospital."
"It was a pleasure, Mrs. Dunphy."
"You can call me Claire."
Achievement unlocked: Claire Dunphy allows you to call her by her first name
+3,000 points
On the way home, Liam checked his progress:
Mission "A Genetic Project" COMPLETED
Points earned: 12,800
Bonus for comedic alteration: +5,000
Total points now: 83,273 (He had spent 25,000 on skills, earned 12,800+5,000+3,000+2,000+1,500+800+300 = 25,400, net: +400)
It wasn't a massive increase, but he had established something more valuable: a relationship with the Dunphy family. And the system showed new missions available:
Mission available: "Family Drama"
Description: Attend the dinner at Mitchell and Cameron's where they introduce Lily
Requirement: Be invited by the Dunphys
Reward: 10,000-30,000 points
Liam smiled. The plot was moving forward. And he was now part of it.