I swear, my family has a hidden talent for turning the simplest things into full-blown chaos. Take breakfast, for example—a meal meant to be quick, easy, and maybe even peaceful. Yeah, right. In my house, breakfast is a war zone, a reality TV show, and sometimes, a full-on comedy special all rolled into one.
This morning started like any other: birds chirping, sun shining, and me praying that maybe—just maybe—Mom would let me eat in peace. Spoiler alert: she didn't.
I tiptoed into the kitchen, hoping to grab a slice of bread and some eggs without incident. But as soon as I opened the fridge, it hit me: total chaos.
Mom was juggling a pan in one hand, a spatula in the other, and somehow talking on the phone at the same time. I didn't even know she had that many arms.
Leo, my little brother, was already on his first mission: stealing eggs. That evil little smirk on his face made me suspicious immediately.
"Ava! Watch the eggs!" Mom yelled, without looking up.
Watch the eggs? Lady, I didn't even know you were cooking them. And then I saw it—Leo holding one egg like it was a treasure chest.
"I just need one egg!" he said innocently.
Yeah, sure. And I'm the Queen of England.
Before I could stop him, the egg slipped from his tiny fingers and—splat!—right onto the floor. The sound alone could've won an Oscar for "Most Dramatic Breakfast Disaster."
Mom finally looked down from her multitasking madness and screamed:
"LEO! Why is the floor wet?!"
"I… uh… it was a… science experiment?"
He said it completely straight-faced. I tried not to laugh, but the act was too perfect.
I grabbed a slice of bread, hoping to retreat to my room, but Mom had other plans.
"Ava, help me with the toast. Hurry!"
The toast? Really? I thought this was a normal breakfast. Apparently, the toast had decided to burn itself. Smoke poured from the toaster like it was auditioning for a horror movie.
"Mom! The toast!" I shouted.
Too late. Smoke filled the kitchen. The fire alarm blared. Our peaceful morning was officially a full-blown comedy disaster.
Leo started laughing uncontrollably.
"This is the best morning ever!" he cried, slipping on the egg and almost face-planting.
Mom waved the phone like a magic wand.
"I'm coming! I'm coming!" she yelled, accidentally hitting the spice rack.
A jar of something orange fell and landed with a splat on the counter. Paprika? Chili powder? Either way, our kitchen now looked like a crime scene.
I couldn't help it—I laughed. Loudly. Probably too loudly, but honestly, if anyone had a manual for surviving family chaos, I'd already be a certified expert.
Mom turned to me, face red from smoke, anger, and pure chaos.
"Ava! This is serious! Breakfast is serious!"
"Serious? This is funny, Mom! You're juggling a pan like a circus performer, Leo's slipping on eggs, and the toast is on fire!"
"You think this is funny?" she asked, pointing the spatula at me like a sword.
"Yes!" I said, immediately regretting it.
Leo tripped again, hitting the counter and sending a carton of milk flying. Milk. Everywhere. On the floor, the stove, my shoes. My socks now had a permanent dairy coating.
Mom screamed. Leo cried. I slipped. And somehow, the cat decided this was the perfect time to jump on the counter. Its paw hit the toast, sending it flying across the kitchen.
It landed… on Dad's shoe. Dad, who had just walked in with his coffee, looked down and said one word:
"Really?"
I think Leo started clapping.
Dad stared. Mom yelled. I laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks. Breakfast—the simplest meal of the day—had become a full-blown family comedy show.
Finally, after what felt like hours but was really about ten minutes, the chaos subsided. Smoke cleared. The cat disappeared. Leo—of course—sat on the floor, licking egg yolk off his fingers like nothing had happened.
Mom sighed, ready to explode and cry at the same time.
"Next time," she said, "we eat cereal."
I grinned.
"And we'll still find a way to make it funny, right?"
Mom didn't answer. She just grabbed a mop. Dad muttered something about "never again," while Leo gave me a thumbs-up like we'd just won a gold medal in chaos.
And me? I couldn't stop thinking: if every morning is like this, my life really is a comedy show… and the audience is right here, living it with me.
Little did I know, this breakfast disaster was only episode one.
And that was only breakfast… wait until lunch…