When the dorm door swung open, Enid Sinclair was sitting on her bed painting her nails—bright, aggressive pink. Sunlight streamed through the window, hitting her short blonde hair which was streaked with pink and blue, making her look like a walking, talking rainbow.
"Whoa!" Victor whistled. "I love the aesthetic!"
Enid looked up, stunned. Her eyes darted between Wednesday and Victor, finally landing on the black sludge-head emerging from Victor's shoulder.
"Who are you?" she asked, her voice pitching at least three octaves higher than Wednesday's.
"I'm Vic! This is Venom!" Victor pointed to himself, then the symbiote. "We're your new roomies!"
Enid looked at Wednesday. "Is he serious?"
Wednesday nodded. "Unfortunately, yes."
"Hey!" Victor protested. "We are super fun to be around!"
Venom nodded. "Especially when he goes off the rails."
Enid blinked, then suddenly broke into a dazzling smile. "Okay!"
She hopped off the bed and extended a hand. "I'm Enid Sinclair."
Victor grabbed her hand and shook it with exaggerated enthusiasm. "Victor Black! By the way, you smell like strawberry chocolate—Venom said so!"
"—I said no such thing!"
Wednesday walked to her side of the room, dropped her luggage, and spoke coldly. "If you two plan on chatting all night, I will nail your tongues to the wall."
Victor and Enid shut up simultaneously.
Venom whispered, "She's crazier than we are."
Victor nodded. "I absolutely love her."
Enid looked at Wednesday, then at Victor, and suddenly giggled. "You guys are funny."
Enid started to look forward to the semester. However, she regretted that optimism very quickly.
---
By the time Wednesday pulled the first hammer out of her luggage, Victor was sitting on the windowsill gnawing on a piece of chocolate with a suspicious shape.
"Whoa," he mumbled, chocolate crumbs falling from his mouth. "Are we demolishing the building?"
Wednesday didn't answer. She simply continued lining up nails on the headboard in silence, like she was preparing for a dark ritual.
Enid Sinclair watched in a daze until she saw Wednesday splash black paint onto the wall. That snapped her out of it.
"Wait!" Enid's scream nearly shattered the glass. "That is my wall!"
"It was," Wednesday said without turning around. "Now it is a Gothic art installation titled The Funeral of the Crow."
Victor hopped off the windowsill, bouncing between them like an excited crow himself. "Venom! Look! It's an art war!"
Venom emerged from his shoulder, critiquing the two sides with interest. "The left looks like melted Skittles. The right looks like crushed cockroaches... I vote for Wednesday."
"Traitor!" Enid grabbed a pink throw pillow and hurled it at Venom. He swallowed it whole in mid-air.
"Hey! That was a limited edition unicorn pillow!"
Wednesday continued her renovation project, replacing the pink curtains with black lace and pinning several taxidermied bats to them. Victor leaned in close, his nose almost touching a bat's wing. "Are these real?"
"They were alive last week," Wednesday said calmly.
Enid gasped. "You can't just—"
"I can." Wednesday finally turned, holding a pair of gleaming tailoring shears. "Do you need a demonstration on how to decapitate a rainbow?"
Victor suddenly jumped between them, holding a piece of chocolate in each hand. "Ceasefire! Enid, try this 85% dark chocolate—bittersweet, like Wednesday's soul! Wednesday, try this strawberry one—yes, it's that vulgar pink color you despise."
Both pieces of chocolate hit him in the face simultaneously.
---
When Principal Larissa Weems arrived at the scene, the dormitory had been split down the middle by a clear demarcation line.
The left side was Enid's "Exploding Rainbow Unicorn" zone.
The right side was Wednesday's "Vampire Crypt" zone.
And Victor...
"Why am I assigned to the spot in front of the toilet?" Victor protested, squatting on a patch of floor the size of a bed. Venom was helping him tape out the words VICTOR'S TURF in black electrical tape.
"Vote results," Enid said, waving her hand in sync with Wednesday.
"And it is closest to death," Wednesday added, pointing to the hangman's noose she had just hung on the bathroom door.
Venom patted Victor on the head. "Look on the bright side. At least we are closest to the chocolate reserves."
He pointed to the toilet tank—which was now stuffed full of various candy bars.
"That is my emergency stash!" Enid shrieked.
Wednesday smirked, a rare sight. "Now, it is spoils of war."
Victor looked at the pouting werewolf on the left, then the gloomy goth on the right, and grinned. "Venom, I think we're gonna love it here."
"Assuming you survive the night," Venom said, reading the "Territory Treaty" the girls were holding up. Rule #1 was written in bold: NO NOISE FROM VICTOR AFTER MIDNIGHT.
Principal Weems stood in the doorway, her gaze sweeping over Victor, who was making his bed on the floor.
"Why is your 'territory' in front of the bathroom?" Larissa raised an eyebrow.
"Result of a democratic vote," he said solemnly. "Plus, it's closest to death." He pointed at the noose. "See? Even the gallows are ready. Very thoughtful."
Larissa took a deep breath, as if silently chanting a mantra: He is a relative, I cannot kill him.
"Enid, take them on a tour of the academy," she warned before turning to leave. "And do not let Victor near any flammable objects."
"—Or living things," Wednesday added.
Enid bounced up, her blonde hair looking like a dancing flame in the sunlight. "Let's go! First stop—the Quad!"
---
The Quad was the central hub of Nevermore Academy. Surrounded by Gothic spires and paved with ancient flagstones, it featured a large raven statue in the center.
"Why is it called the Quad?" Wednesday asked coldly. "It is clearly a pentagon."
Enid blinked. "Uh... because of tradition?"
"Traditions are meant to be broken," Wednesday stared at the ground. "For example, there are at least three corpses buried beneath this flagstone."
Victor suddenly dropped to the ground, pressing his ear against the stone. "Venom! Listen! The bones are singing!"
Venom poked his head out. "All I hear is your brain cells screaming in agony."
Just then—
"Whoa! Fresh meat!"
A tall boy wearing a beanie walked over.
"Ajax Petropolus," he extended a hand, smiling brightly. "Gorgon. Don't touch the beanie, unless you want to become a lawn ornament."
Victor lit up immediately. "Gorgon? Like Medusa? So your hair is—"
"—Snakes, yeah," Ajax pointed helplessly at his hat. "They have temper issues."
"That is so cool!" Victor reached out to lift the hat. "Let me see!"
"Wait! Don't—"
Enid and Wednesday simultaneously took three steps back.