DISCLAIMER: This story is a FnaF comedy story BUT I will have the gang either enter other universes, meet characters from other media and even crossover with other universes or other versions of the FnaF characters. Let the comedy ensue!
-------------------------
It was the same song and dance like every other day for Nathan. He had been searching for jobs but each one he tried to get ended up in failure or he couldn't even get the damn job. Nine times out of ten it was that he couldn't get the job. Life just sucks. But he was desperate for a job so he could keep living in his apartment or else he would be kicked out and homeless. That's something he doesn't want. So, there he was, sitting in his living room trying to think about what to do for a job. Maybe he could go work at the New Fazbear place that opened recently. There were many fazbear places out there, some built for nostalgia and some for more modern standards like the new Pizzaplex. However, that new place is always fully employed so it's unlikely. Maybe he can work at the places built for nostalgia. Those places were modeled after the old buildings for older fans of the Fazbear brand. From what Nathan knows, those places still make good business despite the rumors that come from that place. Mostly horror stuff but hey, when you're desperate, you'll be up for any kind of job.
He then hears a knock on his door which makes him groan before he gets up. Once he opens his door he sees no one before he looks down and sees a rolled-up newspaper. This confused him as newspapers aren't really a thing anymore.
"Who the hell delivers these anymore?" Nathan mumbles as he picked it up and closed his door.
He walks back to his couch and sits down before unrolling the newspaper to see what's on it. He's got nothing better to do. As he reads the newspaper for the heck of it, he sees the atypical things you see in the paper until he finds something that is convenient for him. It was an AD for Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, and it looked like one of the nostalgia locations. Seems like they need a Security guard. Someone to fill the role and the pay seems really appetizing. He then sees a phone number to call and he hesitates. Should he take the job? There are rumors about that place regarding what happens after hours and they didn't sound pleasant. But they're probably just rumors. Grabbing his phone, Nathan dials the number and lets the phone ring for a moment. As he waits for someone to answer, he hopes he can get the job. If he can't then he's royally screwed. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, someone picks up.
"Yes?" A voice asked, sounding either tired or fed up with something.
"I saw an AD for a job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza and was curious if there was still a job opening." Nathan said.
"Oh…. OH!" The voice lit up instantly after he realized what this meant. "Yes, there is a job opening!"
"Great, is there a good time for an interview?" Nathan asked.
"Oh right, interview. Um, alright I'll be real with you pal. This is the interview." The voice said.
"Wait really?"
"Yeah, we've been trying to hire someone for that location for months now with no luck." The voice said. "Closest we got was a guy who kept saying he was the king of Five nights at Freddy's. He was weird. Yet still, I liked him for some reason."
"Does that mean I got the job?" Nathan asked.
"Yep." The voice over the phone said. "Just come by the joint tonight so you can pick up your uniform and other essentials. Oh, and bring noise canceling headphones."
"Why?"
"Trust me, you'll need them." The voice said. "Especially for your sanity."
"O…. kay." Nathan said, unsure how to respond.
[Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, sometime later]
Nathan finally arrived at the location, it wasn't a long trip as his apartment wasn't far from the pizzeria. He still had to use his bike as he didn't feel like walking the rest of the way to Freddy's. As he secured his bike on the bike rack he looked up at the sign on the building. It was similar to the old style yet still unique. He breathes in and then out before he moves through the front door. As he steps inside, he sees someone waiting for him at the front desk. The man had his arms crossed and was leaning on the desk before he noticed Nathan's arrival.
"About time you got here." The man said as he approached Nathan.
He sounded just like the voice he heard over the phone. The man held his hand out for a handshake to our protagonist.
"Mike, Mike Schmidt." Mike introduces.
"Nathan Sullivan." Nathan greets while shaking his hand.
"Well, I have your uniform right here alongside a flashlight and the all so essential keys." Mike said, gesturing to the items which were resting on the desk.
"I take it I start my shift tonight?" Nathan asked.
"Yep." Mike confirms. "Will that be a problem?"
"Not at all."
"Great! Oh, a fair warning, the Animatronics have a few… quirks compared to the others under the Fazbear brand." Mike explains.
"Like?" Nathan asks.
"it's best if you find out for yourself." Mike said. "Oh, and despite the rumors, you'll be fine."
"Alright."
"Well, get yourself situated, the phone here has recordings that will give you're an introduction and what not into your new job. Scott made them just for you." Mike said. "Well, good luck and good night."
With that Mike walks out of the building. Nathan grabbed his uniform and other items and went further into the building. When he entered the main room, he saw the main stage where Freddy, Bonnie and Chica were standing in idle positions. He looked over to Pirate cove and saw Foxy in a similar position and he must say. This place even has the same layout as those old restaurants. He makes his way to the security office and as he enters, he sees a set of lockers. He puts the keys and flashlight on the office's desk before he changes into his new uniform. Thankfully it fits as he did tell Mike over the phone his size and what not. Once fully changed, he puts his original clothing into one of the lockers and closes it. He then sits at his desk and notices that it is now 12 Am meaning his shift has begun. Right on queue, his phone starts ringing. He presses a simple button, and a voice comes from the phone.
"Hello? Hello, hello?" The voice said. "Uh, I wanted to record a message for you, to help you get settled into your first night. Despite what rumors you may have heard regarding this location, just know they are just rumors. The only thing you have to worry about is uh your sanity. The Animatronics have interesting quirks that were explained to be a cause of their… unique… programming. Now don't worry you aren't in any real danger, I hope."
Oh. That's reassuring. Nathan listens to this guy talk on and on about the location and he honestly considers just muting it because he thinks it isn't essential. But as he listens to this, he hears footsteps which confuses him. He looks at the cameras and switches through each one until he lands onto the main stage and he sees that not only is Bonnie gone. But Freddy and Chica are gone as well. His eyes widen as his heart skips a beat. He thinks back to those footsteps he heard and turns to the left door. He stands up and moves his hand to the light button and presses it. Standing there in the doorway was Bonnie.
"…."
"…."
"…. He-." Bonnie said but was cut off by Nathan shutting the door with the red button.
Nathan gave it a second before opening it again.
"-llo!" Bonnie said, finishing what he was saying before the door closed again.
Nathan looked at the cameras before giving it some thought and opening the door again. Bonnie stood there with an unimpressed look on his face.
"Can I speak now?" Bonnie asked.
"…. Yes?"
"So, you're that new security guard Mike talked about huh?" Bonnie asked.
"Uh, yeah?" Nathan replied, unsure what to do.
"Cool." Bonnie said. "You like guns?"
"I'm American." Nathan answered.
"That don't mean shit." A new voice said from behind Nathan.
Nathan turns around as Bonnie looks around him. They both see Freddy standing there. How did he get there… more importantly, how did he not hear him!?
"What?" Freddy asked.
"How did you get there without me knowing?" Nathan asked.
"I'm a sneaky motherfucker." Freddy answers.
Chica then shows up behind Freddy and speaks which briefly startles Freddy.
"Are you going to answer me?" Chica asked.
Freddy sighs in annoyance.
"Chica there ain't no bitch out there anyone is taking to the melting pot." Freddy said. "it's literally just a pot of cheese."
"It's not just cheese there's a main course of various exotic meats!" Chica defends.
"What would they do with the meat!?" Freddy counters quite loudly.
As Freddy and Chica argue, Nathan starts to realize what Mike meant by quirks. Maybe he should've brought those noise canceling headphones. Bonnie can sense the dread in Nathan and pats his shoulder with a short chuckle.
"Welcome to Freddy's." Bonnie said.
"Yay." Nathan said, devoid of joy.