January 1, 2026 — 6:45 AM
The structural integrity of Apartment 4B was failing at a rate that defied the laws of physics. Gilbert was too busy vibrating with a mixture of fear and bruised ego—cursing Malenia for choosing to "abandon" her Master—that he failed to notice the floor beneath his feet was no longer level. The concrete groaned, weeping grey dust as thick, bioluminescent roots the size of pythons punched through the foundation. Above him, the ceiling didn't just crack; it was shredded by the rapid, violent ascent of a redwood-like trunk that had decided to occupy the space where his hallway used to be. The sound of his sanctuary being torn apart finally broke through his panic, and he let out a thin, high-pitched shriek before scrambling out the door, following the golden trail Malenia had left in the moss-choked corridor.
"Jesus Christ!" Gilbert blurted out, stumbling onto the external walkway. He looked back just in time to see the roof cave in, a plume of drywall dust rising into the humid air. A sudden, agonizing realization struck him, harder than the displacement itself. "My food! My water! Noooo!" He watched in genuine, soul-deep agony as the crates of vacuum-sealed rations and cases of energy drinks were crushed under the falling masonry, the precious fluids leaking into the thirsty, emerald soil. He fell to his knees, his hands clutching his head as the reality of his situation set in. He was homeless, starving, and stranded in a Nightmare difficulty jungle with nothing but the clothes on his back and the glowing phone in his pocket.
[LIVE FEED: UTAH SECTOR CHAT]
u-20329: "Look at him. The 'King of Solo Queue' is crying over spilled Monster while the world is literally eating his house. This is peak comedy." S
LC_Savage: "F in the chat for the Doritos. They were the only thing in that room with a higher IQ than the inhabitant."
Utah_Momma_Jen: "I don't condone the language, but that boy needs to move! The whole building is coming down and he's worried about soda?"
GamerGod_69: "He's losing his loot already? What a throw. This guy is the definition of a 'bronze' survivor."
TrollFace_Provo: "Don't cry yet, Gil! You just need a better base. Stop groveling and start walking before a tree grows through your chest."
ParkCity_Hiker: "I've seen better survival instincts in a squirrel with a head injury. Move your ass, Gilbert!"
As Gilbert groveled on the vibrating floor, a sudden, powerful rush of air whipped his oily hair across his face. He looked up to see Malenia's scarlet cape billowing like a blood-soaked flag. Without a word to him, she spread her tarnished golden wings and took off, a blur of gold and red streaking into the grey morning sky. The sound of her departure sobered him instantly. "Wait! Don't leave me! Malenia! Come back! That's an order!" he screamed, his voice lost in the rustle of billions of rapidly growing leaves.
Malenia paused for a fraction of a second in mid-air, her eyeless helm turning back toward the balcony. "Fend for yourself, worm," her voice echoed back, carrying over the distance with supernatural clarity. "I go to seek a foe worthy of my blade. I will not waste my strength guarding a man who cannot even stand without weeping." She muttered something else to herself—a comment about the vileness of her tether—before disappearing over the skyline of overgrown skyscrapers. Gilbert slumped against the railing, his eyes watering as he looked out at the street. The quiet Salt Lake City he knew was gone. Every building, park, and road was buried under a carpet of aggressive, pulsing flora that looked far too much like it was breathing.
"I gotta move. I have to find a place to hide until this is all over," Gilbert whispered, his breath hitching. "But where? I haven't been outside since 2023." He looked at his phone, but there was no Google Maps, only the scrolling hatred of the chat and his pathetic profile page. He sat down on a thick, sturdy branch that had grown through the walkway, the wood surprisingly warm to the touch. "Chat! Guys, help me out here! Is there anywhere near 400 South I can hide? Somewhere with a basement or... or a vault? Please? I'm your representative!"
[LIVE FEED: UTAH SECTOR CHAT]
TrollFace_Provo: "Actually, Gilbert, if you go three blocks east and take a left, there's an old bank vault that's been converted into a fallout shelter. It's perfect for someone of your... stature. Totally safe."
u-1255: "Yeah, listen to him. It's right behind the old park. Just head straight into the thickest part of the vines. Trust us, buddy."
SLC_Savage: "Go deep into the green, Gil. That's where the 'secret' loot is. Don't worry about the clicking noises."
Beehive_Babe_99: "He's actually asking the chat for directions. Is he new to the internet? We literally just voted to kill him."
Zion_Hiker_Ben: "Just follow the purple signs, Gilbert. It's a specialized shelter for people with your specific... needs."
Gridley_Gamer: "I can't believe he's falling for this. Provo is a legend for this setup."
"Oh my god, thank you! I take back everything I said about you guys!" Gilbert responded with a burst of pathetic glee. He scrambled to his feet, ignoring the way his heart hammered after just the effort of standing, and began to descend into the floral-filled overgrowth of the street level. As he walked, the silence of the city began to feel predatory. Every step Gilbert took on the soft, mossy asphalt felt like he was being watched. The world wasn't lifeless; it was teeming with something he couldn't see, but could definitely feel. Strange, wet movements echoed from between the tall, mutated grass and inside the hollowed-out ruins of office buildings. Every few minutes, he had to stop to catch his breath, his chest wheezing loudly in the oxygen-heavy air. He was a beacon of noise and scent in a world that demanded stealth.
[LIVE FEED: UTAH SECTOR CHAT]
Zion_Hiker_Ben: "Look at his heart rate on the HUD. 140 bpm and he's just walking. This is embarrassing. My grandma does better cardio at the grocery store."
u-1255: "Wait, look at the window behind him. In the shadows. Something just moved."
GamerGod_69: "GILBERT. TURN AROUND. There is literally a pair of eyes the size of dinner plates watching you from that ruined Starbucks."
SLC_Savage: "He's literally calling out to the mimics. It's like watching a steak scream at a lion." TrollFace_Provo: "Ignore them, Gil! They're just trying to distract you. Keep going toward the shelter. You're halfway there!"
Just_A_Nurse_82: "The mouth-breathing is attracting predators. I can see the sound waves on the system monitor. He's a walking dinner bell."
"Someone is watching me?" Gilbert turned around fast, nearly tripping over a protruding root. He expected to see another survivor, maybe someone he could boss around. "Hello?! Is anyone there?!" He waited, but saw nothing but the swaying of giant ferns. "You fucking lied to me!" he screamed back at the chat window, his face turning a humiliated purple. "There's nobody here! You're just trying to scare me!" He continued walking, following the instructions of the chatter from Provo. By the time he checked his phone again, three hours had passed. He was dangerously hungry and thirsty, his metabolism crashing despite the rations he had gorged on earlier. "Hold on, Chat. Let's take a break. I gotta chow on something. I'm running out of energy." He looked around the devastated buildings until a familiar green and orange logo caught his eye through a curtain of vines. "Oh my god, it's a 7-Eleven!"
He went feral. Gilbert pushed through the hanging branches, ignoring the scratches on his arms as he scrambled into the store. The overgrowth had shattered the windows, but the interior was miraculously stocked with plastic-wrapped snacks and rows of energy drinks. Gilbert didn't wait. He ripped open bags of jerky and candies with his teeth, downing a full bottle of Monster and a Mountain Dew in a single, desperate go. He ate with his mouth open, making wet, frantic noises as he stuffed his face, his fingers becoming a sticky mess of sugar and preservatives. The people of Utah watched in horrified silence as their representative displayed the table manners of a starving animal.
[LIVE FEED: UTAH SECTOR CHAT]
Utah_Momma_Jen: "Disgusting. Truly disgusting. Look at the way he's shoving those donuts in. No shame at all."
SLC_Savage: "He's eating like he's in a speed-run. Slow down, Gil, the plants aren't going to steal your Slim Jims. Or maybe they will."
u-20329: "I think I just threw up a little bit. Can we get a censor bar over his mouth?"
ParkCity_Hiker: "He's refueling on pure garbage. His blood is basically syrup at this point. How is he still standing?"
TrollFace_Provo: "Eat up, champ! You'll need the calories for the final stretch. The vault is just around the corner!"
Orem_Otaku: "I've seen some gross anime, but this 7-Eleven mukbang is the worst thing I've ever witnessed."
Before Gilbert could retaliate against the chat, a sudden, booming sound from outside made the slurpee machine rattle. It was a high, melodic warcry—the sound of steel meeting something incredibly dense. The ground beneath the 7-Eleven shook, and a shadow flickered across the store's ceiling. It was Malenia. She was locked in combat with something massive, moving so fast between the sky and the ground that Gilbert's eyes couldn't keep track. The crashes were getting closer. Fearing for his life as the concussive booms of Malenia's battle rattled his teeth, Gilbert frantically stuffed a final handful of jerky into his mouth. He snatched a family-sized bag of chips and a lukewarm, oversized soda from the shelf, clutching them to his chest like a liferaft before stumbling back into the emerald gloom of the overgrown street. "Yo! Where's that safe place again?!" he screamed into the humidity. "I can feel the danger coming! Are we even close?!"
[LIVE FEED: UTAH SECTOR CHAT]
TrollFace_Provo: "Keep your pants on, Gil. You're almost there. Just head another three-quarters of a mile north. It's a fortified structure, totally plant-proof. Maybe forty-five minutes at your pace." SLC_Savage: "Forty-five minutes? At the rate he's wheezing, he'll be a fossil by the time he hits the next block."
ParkCity_Hiker: "Look at the way he's holding that soda. He's prioritizing high-fructose corn syrup over his own life."
GamerGod_69: "The clashing sounds are getting closer. If he doesn't find cover, he's going to get caught in Malenia's AOE."
u-1255: "Run, Gilbert, run! Or whatever that awkward waddle you're doing is called!" Beehive_Babe_99: "He's literally sweating through his shirt. I can smell him through the screen. Move it!"
"Forty-five minutes?!" Gilbert shrieked at the chat window, but the protest died in his throat as a massive vibration shook the pavement, nearly sending him face-first into a cluster of glowing, purple mushrooms. The air around him seemed to hum with the sheer kinetic energy of Malenia's clashing steel. The tension was thick, a physical pressure that told his lizard-brain one thing: Run. Gilbert took off. In his mind, he was a blur of speed, a lean protagonist sprinting through the apocalypse. To the millions of viewers watching the live feed, however, it was an agonizing display of "speed-walking." His heavy legs churned, his 3XL shirt flapped like a distressed signal flag, and his face took on a shade of deep, alarming maroon as he huffed and puffed through the humid, oxygen-rich air.
[LIVE FEED: UTAH SECTOR CHAT]
Orem_Ironman: "Is that... is that supposed to be a sprint? I've seen glaciers move with more urgency. His form is a crime against physics."
u-20329: "Look at the sweat flying off his forehead. He's like a human sprinkler system. I'm honestly impressed he hasn't collapsed yet."
Beehive_Babe_99: "I think the chips in his hand are getting more exercise than his heart. This is painful to watch."
SLC_Savage: "He's going turbo! Look at those ankles work! He might actually make it to the corner before his lungs explode."
TrollFace_Provo: "Almost there! Turn the corner! The purple doors of salvation are waiting!"
GamerGod_69: "I can't believe he's still holding the soda. Dedication to the sugar is real."
For the next forty-five minutes, Gilbert focused every ounce of his remaining willpower into simply moving forward. He stared at the path on his phone, his glasses so fogged from his own heat that he had to squint to see the blue line. Between the frantic gasps for air, a bitter, stinging regret began to take root in his mind. He remembered every time he had mocked "gym bros" on the forums, every time he had called a salad "rabbit food," and every year he had chosen the glow of the monitor over the light of the sun. He was experiencing the brutal, unlubricated consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle, and the Nightmare difficulty environment wasn't giving him a single frame of mercy. Whether it was the adrenaline-induced paranoia or the constant, distant clang of Malenia's warcries, Gilbert began to hear a different sound—a soft, rhythmic rustling behind him. Something was following him, keeping a consistent distance just beyond the edge of his vision. Every time he turned, there was nothing but the swaying of giant, prehistoric ferns, yet the feeling of being hunted remained, strangely tethered to him even as Malenia's battle moved across the skyline.
"Really?! It's just around that corner right there! Alright, I'm going turbo! Yaaaah!." Gilbert wheezed, a final, desperate burst of energy flooding his sore muscles. He let out a pathetic, high-pitched battle cry as he threw his weight forward, his sneakers squelching in the moss as he rounded the corner with his eyes squeezed shut in hope. He imagined a vault, a bunker, a place with a locked door and a comfortable chair. The moment Gilbert turned the corner, he felt a wave of happiness and peace... until he looked up at the building name.
"You motherfuckers! I take it back, y'all deserve everything that I called you!" Gilbert angrily screamed at the top of his lungs despite being near collapse. He shook his sticky fist toward the sky, realized he had been led to a fitness building—Planet Fitness.
[LIVE FEED: UTAH SECTOR CHAT]
TrollFace_Provo: "LMAO. You said you wanted shelter, Gil! It's a sturdy building, plenty of water fountains, and literally zero people are there. It's the perfect safe zone!"
SLC_Savage: "Finally! The representative of Utah is at a gym. It only took the end of the world to get him there."
UtahMom_88: "At least it's a Judgment Free Zone®, dear. You look like you could use the atmosphere."
u-20329: "Look at his face! He's purple! I haven't laughed this hard since the System started. 10/10 prank, Provo."
Gridley_Gamer: "Wait, Gilbert, stop yelling. Look at the windows. There is something inside."
Just_A_Nurse_82: "He's standing still. He's a sitting duck. And he just screamed his location to everything in a five-block radius."