It was the sixth month of the thirteenth year. The weather had begun to turn colder, and people were preparing for the great winter year. — Today marks the fifth night — I said. The queen rested her head on my lap as we stood in the garden. — I plan to leave at dawn with Daís to prepare the ritual cave.
— Yes, it's good that he joins you and that you're protected — she said, rising to her feet — I won't wait for you for dinner; I'm too tired.
— Why don't you want to eat? Are you sick? — I asked. I followed her for a few steps until we reached the stairs — What have I done to make my love not speak to me?
— How can you say that when your heart belongs to someone else? — Manady said — I know I have no right, but you know I belong to you.
— I never thought my expressions of affection would be confusing to you.
— You never told me that Daís is your fiancé.
— What he promised me was to take me to other lands — I said — He would never be my husband.
— Does he know you don't reciprocate his feelings?
— Yes — I answered, at which she stopped and turned to look at me.
— I saw his face, Dotea. The way he looked into your eyes as if you were his only treasure.
— And it doesn't matter that I'm the one looking at you like this? — I said, taking her hand — I want to see you happy.
She smiled at my words and brought her lips close to mine, but they couldn't touch because Merana arrived to announce that the king requested the queen's presence.
When she returned from her meeting with the king, her expression was downcast, but she refused to answer my questions — After the ceremony, I'll arrange your marriage, and you'll go with Daís to Namijeste.
— What did you say?
— I don't want to see you again, Dotea — Manady said.
— There's no truth in your words.
— It's best if you leave now. Wake me up when it's time.
That morning, I left her room and took several candles, putting them in a bag. I rode my horse to the training temple. I couldn't imagine why it was so painful for me that the queen wanted to speed up the ceremony, or perhaps it was because my departure didn't matter to her at all.
I passed by the training patio before the temple and watched for a few minutes as a couple of soldiers practiced hand-to-hand combat until one of them won by severing his opponent's head. The master applauded and chose two other soldiers to fight. As I was about to continue on my way, I felt someone grab my arm. When I turned to see the man removing his helmet, I saw it was Daís. — Hello, Princess — he said, flashing a beautiful smile.
— It's so good to see you — I said, and hugged him.
— Did you miss me that much? It was only a few days — he said, holding me tightly in his arms.
We headed towards the castle exit, going down through the kitchen towards the castle garden. When we reached the wall, we waited for a patrol to emerge so we could blend in with them. — That was easier than I thought — I commented with signs.
— Don't celebrate just yet — he replied. When we reached the forest, we separated from the patrol group and rode for two days into the Ames woods. It took us another two hours to walk to the temple inside a cave. At its center stood a large statue of the earth goddess, depicted as a woman with long, flowing hair. From her outstretched hand flowed the water of life, and in her right hand, she held a tree representing prosperity. — Wow! — Dais sighed upon seeing the goddess's representation.
— Help me place the candles around it — I said. Once we finished arranging the candles, we gathered many flowers of every possible color and decorated the cave with them, a task that took us hours as daylight faded.
— We must go, Dotea. We've been gone a long time, and night will soon fall — he said, but I ignored his warning and walked to the field beyond the trees, away from the cave, to find the seed to make ink. Without ink to mark the queen's body, the ceremony could not be completed. — Dotea, please! — I heard him call after I found the seed, but I couldn't see him anywhere.
It was too dark to distinguish a person in the shadows, but I still had some memory and was able to find my way back to the cave entrance through the trees. — Good heavens! — he shouted in fear when I whispered his name in his ear. — We must go, and now! Five days will have passed by the time we return; they'll think I deserted.
We mounted our horses and rode swiftly toward the castle entrance. It took us a day and a half, but it was already too late. The gates were sealed.
— There's no other way, we must return to Mashal. This isn't a good place to rest; we're too exposed — I said.
— No, we'll stay in the forest surrounding the wall — Daís said, turning his horse around. We took refuge in an abandoned cabin where soldiers used to stand guard in the previous century and slept on a straw mattress. When there was enough morning light, I got up and ran to bathe in the river. Daís also went to the river to bathe. He kept his back to me so as not to meet my gaze, but he came closer once the water was deep enough to cover my chest.
— And why does the queen wish to go to that temple? — he asked, but I avoided answering. — The way you decorated it and the candles. It's for a ceremony, isn't it? — he insisted, so I turned away, but he grabbed my arm — Dotea, after risking my title, I deserve to know.
— It's for a fertility ceremony. It will give the queen the chance to conceive a child.
— You must have seen her in great need to do something like that for her. They are your gods and your ancestors, not hers.
— I know, but it will work — I said resolutely — She must have a child. It is her greatest desire.
— Do you think your ancestors will ever accept me? — he asked with a mischievous smile.
— Without a doubt, Daís. You're perfect — I said and laughed — Is that what you wanted to hear?
— I was serious — he said, splashing water.
— You should talk to my mother — I said after considering it for a few seconds. We got out of the water and returned to the castle once another patrol of soldiers had left. When I entered my room, Dana was waiting for me with the bath ready, but I only asked her to help me get dressed. Breakfast with the queen was nothing but silence, and the day passed rather slowly in the flower fields.
— The temple is ready — I commented — It will take us two days to get there for the ceremony. Are you sure the king won't notice?
— I told him I have a flare-up — she said, turning her back to me.
— Could you look me in the face? — I asked, taking a step closer so she could hear me better. — What did I say to make you behave this way toward me?
— What do you care what I think? — she asked, raising her gaze. Her eyes were bright, and her voice cracked with each word.
— I'm sorry for worrying you, Your Majesty. I should have told you it would take me several days to return — I said. I moved close enough so that her gaze shifted to my lips — Please forgive me.
— Of course, Dotea — she said. She looked into my eyes and tried to caress my face, but stopped.
— Let me kiss you — I asked. She closed her eyes and nodded. Our lips met in a kiss that spread to the caresses of our hands. I took hold of her waist, but then I pulled her close, feeling our heartbeats merge like all those times we shared our souls, that part of us no one else could see.
— That's enough! Maintain your place like a respectable, noble woman! — she pushed me away.
— And you think what you're doing to me is respectable? — I said — How dare you tell me you don't want to see me anymore after everything we've done? You should hold a knife to my liver, and that would be less daring.
I could see her tears falling as her face contorted with sobs. She hurried to the carriage – I can't believe you think like that — I said, but she continued — Manady, cease this!
— You can't address me by my name in front of others! — she said grudgingly. I glanced at the carriage driver, who turned his face away, pretending not to have heard anything.
— I told you I can't ignore you. I couldn't leave you without knowing if you are going to be well — I uttered, but my words didn't seem to comfort her, so I hugged her.
We sat down to lunch in the garden after returning to the castle, once again in silence. She looked at me and ate while I tried to think of how we would escape in the middle of the night for the ceremony. — You must think I'm very weak — she remarked — I think you've only ever seen me cry — she said with a faint smile.
— I really enjoyed seeing you smile — I said, and she smiled even more brightly — Like this — I pointed out — Your face lights up.
— I heard commander Daís didn't show up for training for days — she remarked.
— I didn't sleep with him — I said — I just wanted to get back. I was worried about you the whole time I was gone
— Worried?
— You said you were very tired.
— I'm not sick. Your assumptions are wrong.
— I know there's something hurting you inside that you're not telling me.