Just as Angel's Share sank into a collective philosophical crisis of
"Does Yichen's thought process even belong to the human race?"—
A lazy, fragrant purple figure drifted soundlessly to Yichen's side, like a living apparition.
She said nothing.
Instead, a slender hand clad in lace gloves gently landed on top of Yichen's head—
and even gave his perfectly styled hair a casual rub.
This sudden head-pat froze Yichen solid.
Even the intense "identity logic debate" raging in his mind instantly crashed and blue-screened.
"Little cutie~"
Lisa's voice was soft, lazy, and dangerous.
"Although~ you're currently pursuing our adorable and hardworking Acting Grand Master Jean…"
As she spoke, her eyes flicked sideways, and she deliberately tossed a meaningful, teasing wink toward Jean—
causing Jean's ears to flush pink on the spot.
"…but~"
"You and little Eula did 'interact' for a full hundred times, didn't you?"
"Even if you're not lovers, at the very least… you should count as friends, right~?"
Yichen's eyes snapped wide open.
Lisa's words struck like a bolt of lightning cutting through a storm—
No.
Like one hundred thousand volts, precisely cleaving apart the tangled, suffocating knot of "identity logic" in his brain.
How simple.
How righteous.
How utterly unassailable.
Caring about a friend.
Completely reasonable.
Perfectly justified.
All that nonsense about "wrong identity,""bad stance," and "too scummy"—
Collapsed instantly before the glorious, golden banner of FRIENDSHIP.
"I… I get it now!"
The confusion on Yichen's face melted away like snow under sunlight.
In his excitement, he even grabbed Lisa's hand.
"Miss Lisa! You are—
the living incarnation of the Goddess of Wisdom!
One sentence, and I'm awakened from my delusion! Thank you!"
WHOOSH—!!!
An invisible shockwave seemed to explode on the spot.
Everyone's vision blurred.
One second ago, Yichen was still standing there, gratefully holding Lisa's hand—
The next second, he was nothing but a vanishing afterimage blasting straight out the door.
Kaeya, who stood closest, felt a violent gust slam past him.
The mug in his hand slipped free—
CLATTER!
Beer splashed everywhere.
BANG—!!!
The already-abused oak door of Angel's Share let out another tortured roar.
This time, even the hinges screamed in agony.
A gale surged in, whipping cloaks and clothes, making the candles flicker wildly.
And once again—
Silence.
An eerie, hollow silence.
Only the sound of a rolling mug
and the faint crackle of candle flames remained.
Everyone stared in shock at the door, still swaying as if protesting the violence—
…and at the empty space where Yichen had just stood.
What… just happened?
Did Yichen…
fly out?!
That speed—
Is that something a human can do?!
After a brief stillness came an even louder uproar.
"Holy sh—!!"
"I—I'm seeing things, right?!"
"That was Yichen?!
Since when could he move like THAT?!"
"No wonder…
No wonder!"
A knight slapped his thigh, suddenly enlightened.
"I knew it! Anyone who can pull off
'confess to Captain Eula a hundred times,'
then 'seamlessly transition to confessing to Grand Master Jean,'
and still stand here calmly discussing 'identity logic' in front of us—"
He scanned the room and declared decisively:
"Yichen…
is not human."
...
A few minutes later, just as the wind pressure from Yichen's inhuman dash finally settled—
The frozen atmosphere of the tavern was obliterated by Kaeya's earth-shattering shout.
"OPEN THE BETTING—!!!"
Kaeya leapt straight onto a chair.
"BRAND-NEW POOL!
Yichen–Eula–Jean–Mondstadt
Epic Multi-Season Drama, Season Two—
'Where Is the Boundary of Friendship?!'"
"Place your bets!
Once placed, no refunds!"
"Option One: Yichen gets frozen on the spot by Eula and dumped into Cider Lake to feed the fish! Odds 1:1.5!"
"Option Two: Yichen successfully 'soothes' (??) Eula with the Friendship Theory and they reach some bizarre mutual understanding! Odds 1:5!"
"Option Three: Grand Master Jean snaps and personally intervenes to 'restore order'! Odds 1:3!"
"Option Four: Big Sister Lisa provides 'friendly' electrotherapy! Odds 1:2.5!"
"Option Five: Yichen speaks again and breaks the abstraction ceiling! Odds 1:1.1!"
"And a hidden option—
Will Yichen ultimately complete one hundred confessions to Grand Master Jean?!
Pre-registration open now!"
Kaeya rattled off the options at lightning speed, spittle flying, face glowing with unrestrained ecstasy.
The knights—still reeling from the revelation of 'Yichen Is Not Human'—were instantly infected by Kaeya's madness.
Mora clinked loudly as people swarmed him.
The scene became more chaotic than a monster siege.
"I'm betting Option One! One thousand Mora!"
"I trust Yichen's mouth-jutsu! Option Two! Five hundred!"
"Hidden option! I'm betting he'll do it! One thousand!"
At that very moment—
A soft, icy hmph pierced through the chaos like an icicle.
Behind the bar, Diluc, who had been silently polishing glasses as if untouched by the madness, stopped.
His cold gaze swept over the rioting knights—
and finally landed on Kaeya, standing atop a chair like a lunatic.
That look carried his usual, unmistakable disdain.
Under Kaeya's suddenly widening eye—filled with
"Wait—are you serious??" disbelief—
Diluc expressionlessly pushed a bag of glittering Mora forward with one finger.
It slid smoothly across the polished bar—
Ding.
And came to a stop directly on:
Option Five: Yichen speaks again and refreshes the abstraction ceiling.
The tavern fell silent for exactly one second.
Every knight stared at the Mora bag—
then at Diluc's perpetually icy face.
Kaeya's ecstatic grin froze solid—
then transformed into an expression mixing
cosmic absurdity, wild joy,
and "the sun rose in the west today" shock.
Trembling, he carefully picked up the bag—
as if holding a priceless relic.
"R-Record it!"
Kaeya's voice cracked as he shouted at a knight holding charcoal and parchment, who was equally stunned.
"Owner of Dawn Winery!
Lord Diluc Ragnvindr!
Betting on Option Five!
Large stake!
Did you hear me—LARGE stake!"
Lisa watched the scene with amusement, lazily twirling a strand of hair around her finger.
She smiled at Jean, who was pressing her forehead in silent despair.
"Oh my~ Jean, look at that."
"Even Diluc believes that the upcoming 'friendship repair' scene…"
"…will be Mondstadt's most anticipated disaster movie of the year."