I got up, breathing heavily, tears streaming down my face, sweat dripping down my forehead.
"Huh, the same shitty dream… oh God, that really makes me a villain."
I laugh — or more like at myself. Doesn't matter; people do that every day.
I look at the window, blurred by the fog, but at the moment it doesn't haunt me yet. It feels… it feels good, like I belong to it somehow.
It's probably three in the morning. I turn on my lamp and sit at my small study setup. I open my journal — since I don't have friends, and yeah, I don't want any.
I turn to the one page I left in between, the one with bold letters that read 'To be continued.'
I just never got the nerve to start that again.
"Hmm." I hum as I stare at those words for like an hour.
It's not strange anymore, 'cause it's been a routine since Dad died months ago…
At school, I had my head down on the desk, my hoodie hiding my face. I was humming the song playing in my earphones when I heard him — I can always tell when he's near, even from kilometers away.
I looked up. There he was, wearing his signature look — a black shirt and jeans. Totally a villain. Guess a girl like me won't get a good guy anyway, so yeah… villain it is.
I imagined myself with him. Yeah, yeah, delusional — but what? Don't I deserve to dream?
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize he caught my dreamy stare. I snapped back to reality and pulled my hoodie over my face. "Yikes, that was embarrassing."
But then… he smiled and that was enough to give me butterflies. That smirky little smile could melt steel.
Boom. And there it was — the shrill voice that ruins everything. Bella.
"Hiiiii, Lucas!!"
I rolled my eyes and looked away, but yeah, Lucas noticed my annoyed face — and I swear, he found that cute. That little smile again… ugh.
But it faded fast when he turned his attention back to Bella. Oh, did I forget to mention? Yeah, Lucas — the handsome, popular guy from a rich family. I've liked him for ages, and he knows it. But of course, he's never made a move. Probably because of my… let's say, introvert with an attitude vibe.
Bella flipped her hair and said, "Lucas, would you help me with math at my house today?"
My eyes widened. She sounded like she was begging for something more than help. "Damn," the word slipped out before I could stop it. Oops. Bella's glare could've killed me — she totally caught the sarcasm in my tone.
Lucas looked at me like I'd just said what he was thinking.
"Umm, Bella, I'm kinda busy with mids myself. I'll tell Mark to help you."
Oh, the satisfaction. I swear it felt like I just won a world war. "Hehehe," I chuckled to myself.
Mark's Lucas's bestie — they're inseparable. Bella's fake smile dropped for a second, then she forced it back on. "Ohhh, it's okay, I'll just, you know… chatGPT it, thanks."
And she walked off. I smiled to myself as our next class began...
At home.
"Oh, Zoeyyy baby…"
I saw that look again — the one she gets when she drugs herself. I hate seeing her like that. She says she takes them because of Dad's death, but who knows… maybe she's the reason he's not with us.
I smile — or at least I try to.
"I'm home, Mother."
I gulp. Her red eyes scare me more than the window… more than my dreams.
She pats my back like I'm some cat, and I sit at the dining table. The food's low-key burnt, but I smile anyway.
"Hmm, yum, Mother. You made lunch."
She smiles — like I just handed her a diamond ring — and nods like a little kid.
I start eating, trying my hardest to make it look like I'm enjoying it. But her smile… it's terrifying. That psychotic smile shows just how drugged she is.
"Please, God, end this… oh please," I whisper to myself — to a God who probably wouldn't even want to know me.
.....Z....