Chapter 04: His Smile, My Chaos
I open the door and see Mother standing there.
"Hi, honey," she says softly.
Her eyes find my pale face immediately — red, unfocused. She's probably overdosed again.
Only two words slip from my mouth. "Oh… Mother."
She never comes home this early.
She steps inside quickly. "I have bad news, baby."
I look at her. "What news?"
Her voice breaks, drained of all energy. "I lost my job."
I frown. It's not new — she's changed four jobs in the past three months. Always getting fired because of her addiction. Once, she even overdosed a patient by mistake.
I move closer and hug her. "Umm, Mother, it's okay. I'll do something. I was thinking about working too, you know… apart from school."
She looks at me and smiles — that same fake, psychotic smile.
"Ohh, that's great. My Zoey's a big girl now."
I nod, even though her words feel more like mockery than pride.
Quickly, I take a step back. "I'll make pasta. You should go freshen up."
She nods slowly. "Umm… oh, yeah." Then she drags herself upstairs.
Mother's condition is getting worse day by day.
I think she misses him. Even though… it's... complicated….
I shake my head, pushing the thought away, and start preparing dinner.
"Umm, Mother," I said, spinning the fork on my dinner plate. "Do you… miss him?"
Her hand froze mid-air. She looked up, her expression shifting — like I'd just said something sinful. Umm…
"Oh, silly me, I ruined your mood," I tried to cover it up quickly.
She smiled sarcastically, then looked back down at her plate. "Do you miss him?" she asked softly. "I should be the one asking that, honey."
I looked away. I didn't know if I did — or if I just refused to admit it.
Because every birthday, every time I saw other girls with their fathers, something in me ached. An ache I didn't want to acknowledge.
I forced a smile. "Umm, no, Mother. Why would I, right?"
She nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Good girl. After all, I did a lot for my little girl."
I looked at her again — tears filled her eyes now.
"I know… I know, Mother."
I was in the library, reading my book — as usual — when I needed to escape their stares.
The ones that always scream "psycho."
Then I saw Elizabeth.
With her.
The glitter rainbow herself — Bella.
I looked closer and groaned quietly. Ugh, she's hanging out with her.
Elizabeth caught my eyes and waved.
I looked away.
I don't like anyone who's close to Bella. Maybe that's why I don't get to have friends.
She frowned when I ignored her and started walking toward me.
"Hiii… did you just ignore me, huh?"
I didn't answer, pretending to focus on my book.
She reached over and closed it. "I'm talking to you, Miss Nod Master."
I glared up at her. I was definitely annoyed — one, for her closing my book, and two, for that ridiculous new nickname.
"What?" I asked flatly.
She smiled playfully. "So you don't like her, huh?" "She gestured toward Bella" I think a lot of people don't like her — it's not just me. But you… you really seem to hate her."
I sighed. "Look, I told you before — I don't have friends."
"So… you don't like me hanging out with her?" she teased, half-curious.
"I don't care," I said, picking up my bag.
Without another word, I walked away.
As I rushed out of the library — "ohh, Luca" — I almost bumped right into him.
He stopped just in time. Damn, he is the only one I would love to bumped into..
"Whoa… someone looks in a hurry," he said, smiling.
"Umm… I'm sorry," I mumbled, totally frozen.
He smiled again — that perfect, unfair smile. "Oh, it's okay. Don't be sorry."
I nodded, probably too quickly. He looked a little confused, rubbing the back of his neck with that shy smile. Is he… nervous? I thought.
"So, Zoey," he started, "are you free tomorrow evening? I'm having a party at my house."
I blinked. He knows my name?
"Umm… me?"
He nodded. "Yeah, you. I mean— if you don't mind. Totally up to you."
I nodded again and quickly walked away, my heart beating too fast.
My cheeks were burning.
He knows I exist.
...Z...….