Kaelis Vanth was currently facing his greatest challenge yet: the "Supreme Throne" was too firm.
"Valerius," Kaelis called out, shifting his weight on the massive, starlight-infused chair. "Can we... I don't know... put a beanbag on this? It's fancy, but it's killing my lower back. I feel like I'm sitting on a very expensive rock."
Valerius, the Progenitor of All Vampires, who was currently using a mop made of Phoenix feathers to clean the "Void Marble" floors, froze. He bowed so low his forehead nearly touched the star-lit floor.
"Forgive my oversight, Master! I shall immediately seek out the 'Cloud of Eternal Comfort' from the Higher Realm to cushion your Divine Presence! To think I allowed your physical vessel to endure such... rigidity... I am unworthy!"
Kaelis blinked. "Uh, sure. A 'Cloud' sounds soft. Just make sure it's not too expensive. We're on a budget, probably."
"Master's frugality is truly a test," Valerius thought, a cold sweat dampening his high-collared suit. "He possesses the wealth of the Origin, yet he acts as though every credit is precious. He is teaching me the value of resources. How deep his wisdom runs!"
[System Note: Host is getting too comfortable. Ambition levels: 0.01%.]
[System Message: Master, your 'House of Sin' is currently unorganized. You require a Secretary to manage the trivialities of existence. I have found a 'beggar' from the Elven Realm who is desperate for a job. She will work for scraps.]
"A beggar?" Kaelis sighed, leaning his head on his hand. "Well, I guess I could use someone to handle the paperwork. I hate looking at spreadsheets. It makes my brain feel like it's melting. Summon her."
[Location: The Eternal Sylvan Realm — High Council of the World Tree]
High Priestess Elara, the Ruler of all Elves and the legendary "Truth-Seeker," was in the middle of a diplomatic crisis. Her Eye of Truth was active, allowing her to see the literal color of words. If someone lied, their words turned a muddy, oily brown. If they spoke truth, they glowed with a pure, shimmering gold.
"The Ancient Pact with the Human Empire is a farce!" a councilor shouted.
Elara watched his words turn a dark, murky shade of bronze. A half-truth, she noted tiredly.
Suddenly, the air behind her throne shivered. A rift of pure white light, devoid of any elemental signature, tore open. Before her elite guards could draw their bows, the rift expanded, swallowing the Queen whole.
Elara landed gracefully on her feet, her hand instinctively reaching for a bow that had been confiscated by the spatial tunnel. She looked around the "House of Sin" and her breath caught. The concentration of Aether was so high her elven skin began to glow with an involuntary luminescence.
"Where... who..." She turned and saw a young man in a oversized hoodie reclining on a white, blobby chair.
Next to him stood a man she recognized from the ancient murals of terror: Valerius, the Blood Progenitor.
"Valerius?! You're supposed to be sealed in the Abyssal Coffin!" Elara shrieked.
"Silence, elf," Valerius hissed, though his eyes darted nervously toward Kaelis. "You are in the presence of the Origin. Watch your tongue before he decides to erase your bloodline from the archives of history."
Kaelis waved a lazy hand, not even bothering to sit up straight. "Hey. I'm Kaelis. Look, the System says you're... uh... 'going through a rough patch.' I need a secretary to handle the boring stuff. I'll pay you fifty energy stones a week. You in?"
Elara immediately activated her Eye of Truth. She expected to see the black, oily soul of a Demon God or a vortex of lies.
Instead, she saw... a Void. A soul so immense and still that her "Eye" couldn't even find the boundaries. It was like an ant trying to look at a mountain and concluding that the world was made of rock.
Then, she looked at his words as they hovered in the air.
"I need a secretary." (Pure Gold Truth)
"The salary is fifty stones." (Pure Gold Truth)
"I'm Kaelis." (Pure Gold Truth)
Elara's breath hitched. Kaelis reached into his pocket and tossed a small pouch toward her. She caught it, her hands trembling. Inside were fifty Primal Source Crystals.
Fifty. One of these could restore the dying World Tree for a millennium. In the Higher Realms, kingdoms went to war over a single shard. And he called them 'stones.'
"Is... is this for a year?" she whispered, her voice cracking.
"That's for the first week," Kaelis said, looking at his iPad. "I figured you'd need to buy some pens, paper, maybe a desk? Is it not enough? The System said this was basically 'pocket change'."
The System [Deception-9999] flickered in Kaelis's ear.
[System Message: Master, she is a greedy beggar. Do not give her more! She must learn the value of labor!]
Kaelis nodded to himself. "Yeah, the System says I shouldn't spoil you. So, fifty it is. Take it or leave it."
Elara stared at Kaelis. Her "Eye of Truth" was screaming. Gold. Everything was Gold.
1. He genuinely thought these God-tier crystals were just "pocket change."
2. He genuinely thought he was a "Normal Guy."
3. He genuinely believed she—the High Queen of the Elves—was a "beggar."
"He isn't a God," Elara realized, her legs turning to jelly as she fell to her knees. "He is the Creator who has lived so long he has transcended the concept of value. He sees the treasures of our universe as dirt because, to him, they ARE dirt. He isn't lying... he just exists on a plane where our 'miracles' are his 'trash'."
"I... I accept," Elara bowed, her pride as a Queen shattering into a million pieces. "I will be your secretary, My Lord. I will manage your House with my life."
"Great," Kaelis yawned, closing his eyes. "Val, show her the library. Elara, if you find any books on 'how to fix a leaky faucet,' bring them to me. The bathroom in the west wing has a drip-drip sound that's driving me crazy. I can't sleep with that noise."
Valerius led her away, whispering urgently, "The 'leaky faucet' he speaks of... it is the 'Rift in the Temporal Stream' located in the West Quadrant of the Universe. Do not fail to find the solution, or he might erase your entire realm just to stop the 'noise'."
Elara nodded fervently, clutching her pouch of crystals. "I understand. I will save my people by fixing the Master's 'faucet'!"
Kaelis, meanwhile, was already drifting off to sleep, wondering if he could use his creation power to make a pizza that tasted like the one back in Sector 7.