I opened my eyes.
The surroundings were completely different from before. No manor. No hallway. No door to burst through.
My vision was blurry. Adjusting. The brightness was overwhelming.
Pure white. Everywhere. Nothing but white.
'Am I dead? Is this heaven? Did I finally kick the bucket? Is this how that hands of hell work? Even with just a thought of killing the head?'
My pupils slowly adjusted to the light. And then I saw them.
Dozens of beings.
Surrounding me.
They wore simple robes. Elegant but plain. Each of them had a smile plastered on their face. Warm. Welcoming.
But the aura around them?
That aura screamed one thing.
Gods.
These weren't ordinary beings. These were divine entities. The real deal. The ones people prayed to. The ones who decided fates and played with mortal lives like toys.
And I was standing in the middle of them.
'Okay. Okay. Let's think positive here.'
They were smiling. That meant they weren't evil, right? Maybe they realized they fucked up. Maybe they felt bad for dropping me into that cursed hellhole.
Maybe they called me here to apologize.
'Yes. That's it. They're gonna say sorry and fix everything.'
I started giggling internally.
'They'll send me to a new world. A better world. A world where I'm the only male surrounded by desperate women who haven't seen a cock in centuries.'
My imagination was running wild.
'Elf girls. Cat girls. Dragon girls. All of them fighting over who gets to ride me first.'
Beautiful.
Then one of the gods spoke.
"Zarix."
I flinched.
'He knows my real name?'
"We are truly sorry for summoning you without your permission."
'Here it comes.'
My heart was racing. The apology. The compensation. The new world filled with bitches.
"But we will fix things."
'Yes. Yes. Say it.'
"Choose one of us. Receive our blessing. And start anew in the world of Velmora."
I froze.
'Velmora?'
That name echoed in my skull.
'Velmora. Velmora. Where have I heard that before?'
Then it hit me.
That's the name of this cursed world. The world from that garbage novel. The world where nobody fucks. The world where my dick has been dead for eight years.
'You want me to stay HERE?'
My thoughts were interrupted by another voice. Softer. Feminine.
A goddess stepped forward. Beautiful in that generic divine way. Flowing hair. Glowing skin. The whole package.
"Our blessing can change your future," she said. "Your desires. Your hunger for dominance. Anything you wish can be granted."
I smiled bitterly.
'Desires? Dominance?'
Sure. I could become a man who can fuck. Lift the curse from myself. Get my dick working again.
But then what?
The women wouldn't feel anything. They'd just lay there like dead fish. No moaning. No pleasure. No satisfaction.
What's the point of fucking if the other person doesn't enjoy it?
I'm a gooner, not a rapist.
And even if I somehow made it work, I'd still be a weakling. No summon. No power. No status.
The dynamics of this world wouldn't change just because my dick started working.
I opened my mouth.
"Can you lift the curse from this world?"
The goddess maintained her smile.
"I'm afraid we cannot do that. But aside from that, we can surely grant your wish."
I narrowed my eyes.
"Then lift the curse from me. And from any woman near me."
"That is essentially the same thing." She shook her head gently. "We cannot interfere with the curse in any capacity."
I hissed.
"Then what's the fucking point?"
The gods flinched at my tone.
"What's the meaning of all this? Why drag me here? Why offer blessings that don't solve my actual problem?"
I thought about asking for a powerful summon instead. Becoming the strongest. Crushing everyone who wronged me and my mother.
But then what?
My gooner life was over. My dreams were shattered. My ambitions were dust.
I wanted to fuck baddies. Conquer beauties. Build a harem that would make emperors weep with envy.
And look at me now.
Just a hanging piece of flesh between my legs. A pride flag which it used to be and now it couldn't rise anymore.
All because these divine bastards dropped me into this world.
I glared at them.
And then I noticed something.
Their smiles were fading.
The warmth was gone. Replaced by impatience. Urgency.
And beneath that?
Fear.
'What the hell are they afraid of?'
One of the gods stepped forward, his fake smile twitching.
"We should hurry. We don't have much time left. Please make your choice quickly and—"
BOOM.
A voice cut through the space like thunder.
"You fuckers."
Heavy. Deep. Dripping with authority.
I turned toward the source.
And my jaw dropped.
Another being emerged from the white void. His figure radiated an aura that made the other gods look like children playing dress up.
Larger. Stronger. More divine than all of them combined.
And completely naked.
Buck naked.
Not a single thread of clothing on his body.
But that wasn't what caught my attention.
It was his dick.
Swinging with each step like a grandfather clock's pendulum.
That thing wasn't a cock. It was a weapon. A third leg. A battering ram that could siege castle gates.
'Holy shit.'
Elephants would hang their trunks in shame. Horses would file for emotional damages. Whales would reconsider their life choices.
This wasn't a god.
This was a walking hentai protagonist.
He stopped in front of the other gods, his massive member still swaying from the momentum.
"How dare you interfere with my matters?" His voice boomed. "Where the fuck did you get the guts to lure MY Apostle?"
Silence.
The gods who were so chatty before? Mute. Terrified. Some were visibly trembling.
'Apostle? His Apostle?'
'Is he talking about me?'
The naked god turned toward me. His eyes locked onto mine.
"What did they tell you?"
I opened my mouth to answer.
"Were they turning you against me? Or Offering some greedy proposal?"
Before I could speak, the goddess from before cut in.
"We accept your terms!"
'Huh?'
"We will remove the curse." She spoke quickly. Desperately. "From you. Only from you."
My brain short circuited.
'Wait. Wait. Wait.'
'This bitch said it was impossible five seconds ago.'
'And now she's offering it like a discount sale?'
She was lying. From the very beginning. They could lift the curse. They just didn't want to.
'These divine cunts.'
The naked god laughed.
"HAHAHAHA!"
His cock swung violently with each laugh. A hypnotic, terrifying sight.
"You think you can steal him from me with that small blessing?"
'Small?'
'Lifting the curse is SMALL to this guy?'
The goddess hissed. Her composure was cracking.
"Fine." She grit her teeth. "Any woman within his sight will have her curse lifted as well."
Chaos erupted behind her.
Gods started whispering frantically. One of them grabbed her shoulder.
"We can't do that! The consequences will be—"
"We don't have a choice," she snapped.
The god fell silent. They all did.
The naked god smiled. But it wasn't a friendly smile.
"That still doesn't change anything. I can provide him twice your blessings. Triple. Whatever it takes."
"Pervy Lord." The goddess spat the title like venom. "You're stepping out of boundaries."
'Pervy Lord?'
'His title is PERVY LORD?'
He grinned. A shit eating, arrogant, absolutely magnificent grin.
"Oh? Am I?"
He took a step forward. The gods took a step back.
"Last thing I remember, some stupid divine pack was targeting me. Trying to sabotage my entertainment." His voice dropped. "Trying to steal my Apostle."
The goddess opened her mouth to argue.
"That's just... we can't let you... why are you—"
She stopped.
Her mouth was still moving. But no sound came out.
The Pervy Lord had raised his hand. And just like that, her lips was sealed.
He turned to me.
"Sorry about these morons." His tone softened. Almost apologetic. "And sorry for all the suffering you've endured these past eight years."
I stared at him.
"My hands were tied. I called you to this world for a purpose. But due to these bastards' interference, I couldn't reach you until now."
He walked closer. His divine aura wrapped around me like a warm blanket.
"But now, let me fix everything. Let me return you to your true purpose."
My mind was processing everything.
This god was powerful. More powerful than all the others combined.
He brought me to this world. He had plans for me. And his title...
Pervy Lord.
My heart started racing.
'A perverted god chose me as his Apostle?'
For the first time in eight years, I felt something stir.
Not in my pants.
In my soul.
Hope.