Rei took a couple of slow steps toward the hospital bed, looking down at the mummified Third Hokage with concern—though a subtle, mischievous sparkle danced in his eyes.
"How is your injury feeling, Mr. Hokage?" Rei asked, tilting his head. "Honestly, I really didn't expect that you weren't holding back at all back there... I'm sorry about how it turned out."
Hearing those words, Hiruzen's mouth twitched furiously behind his white facial bandages.
You didn't expect I wasn't holding back?! Are you saying that a person who is holding back will turn out like this?!
A thick, agonizing silence hung in the air for a moment before Hiruzen squeezed out a forced, painfully awkward smile.
"Ah... don't worry about it, Rei," Hiruzen rasped out, trying his best to sound like a forgiving, benevolent leader. "It was just an accident during a spar. I'll be fine in a few days."
Hiruzen cleared his throat—and immediately winced from the sharp pain in his bruised chest—before continuing on a more serious note.
"Anyway, Rei... while you're here, there's something important I want to discuss with you. It's about Jiraiya."
Tsunade crossed her arms, her smirk fading slightly into a serious scowl at the mention of her idiot teammate.
"Although I know it was entirely Jiraiya's fault in the end," Hiruzen said slowly, his voice laced with genuine regret, "and his recklessness almost cost you your life during your awakening... any punishment you decide for him would be completely justified. But... I still want to make a personal request as his master. Please remember that it was an honest accident."
Hearing this, Rei let out a quiet sigh.
Truth be told, in his mind, he actually had a pretty good impression of Jiraiya from his memories of his previous life. He knew the guy wasn't an evil person, and as Hiruzen said, the whole incident was a total accident.
Still... Rei thought, his eyes narrowing slightly, if it weren't for my cheat, I really might have ended up braindead or stuck in a permanent coma. I can't just forgive him completely for free. That's not how world-class shadow summoners roll.
Rei looked right into Hiruzen's single visible eye. "Fine. I won't press criminal charges against him."
Hiruzen let out a visible breath of relief. "Ah, that's wonderful news—"
"On one condition," Rei interrupted smoothly. "I want 50% of all his future income."
Silence instantly descended upon Room 404.
All three adults in the room—Hiruzen, Danzo, and even Tsunade—froze mid-breath. For a solid five seconds, the only sound was the faint rhythmic beep-beep of the heart monitor.
They all stared at the five-year-old boy, wondering if their ears were playing tricks on them.
What the absolute fuck? Hiruzen thought, his jaw practically dropping off his face beneath the bandages.
Of all the absurd, terrifying demands Hiruzen had braced himself for—the death penalty, life imprisonment in the deep Anbu dungeons, or at least ten years of hard labor—the kid had just asked for... a cut of his royalties?!
Hiruzen's face twitched violently under his wrappings. Looking down at his bruised, mummified body, he suddenly felt like the biggest, dumbest fucking idiot in the Fire Country.
If I knew this entire life-or-death grudge could be settled with fucking MONEY, Hiruzen screamed internally, why the hell did I fight that terrifying white monster in the first place?! I could have just given him a fat pouch of Ryo and called it a day! I took a world-class beating for literally nothing!
Tsunade was the first to snap back to reality. She blinked rapidly, leaning down slightly toward Rei. "Are you... are you really sure about that, Rei? Just fifty percent of his income?"
"Yeah," Rei replied casually, shrugging his small shoulders. "At the end of the day, the accident itself is forgiven."
Before Hiruzen could celebrate his massive luck, Rei added in a cold, nonchalant tone, "However... while I'm forgiving him for almost killing me, I still want him punished for his side hustle. Peeping in the women's bathhouse should be considered an even bigger crime anyway."
Rei looked Hiruzen dead in the eye. "So it's fine for now. But if that old pervert gets caught peeping at a bathhouse even once again in the future... I want him fully castrated. No exceptions."
TWITCH.
In absolute unison, both Hiruzen and Danzo instinctively crossed their legs tightly under their robes, a sudden, ice-cold chill running down their spines.
Holy shit... that's brutal!
Tsunade, on the other hand, almost burst out laughing right then and there. She had to cough into her fist to disguise the violent snort that escaped her nose.
Although Hiruzen felt that threatening a Sannin with forced castration was a little too cruel, the overall outcome was lightyears better than he had dared to hope for. Jiraiya gets to keep his life and his freedom!
As for asking Jiraiya's opinion on whether he agreed to risk his little brother?
Fuck Jiraiya's opinion! Hiruzen thought ruthlessly. That bastard was the whole reason this nightmare started in the first place! The fact that the kid isn't asking for his head on a spike is already a miracle!
"Done!" Hiruzen agreed instantly, not hesitating for even a fraction of a second. "I will personally write that into the official village decree!"
"Now then," Hiruzen said, shifting his posture slightly on the bed. "Jiraiya's mistake is settled. But at the end of the day, as the Hokage, it is also my failure for not enforcing safety rules strictly enough. Therefore, the village must compensate you properly."
Hiruzen put on his best authoritative, grandfatherly tone. "Rei, I will grant you permission to select one forbidden technique from the Scroll of Seals. You might not realize it yet, but the Scroll of Seals contains some of the most world-shattering, high-level ninjutsu in existence. Learning just one is enough to elevate your status high above the common crowd—"
"No," Rei interrupted mid-sentence, waving his small hand in a dismissive motion. "I don't want any ninjutsu."
Hiruzen choked on his own words, staring at the boy in utter shock. "Huh? You... you don't want a forbidden jutsu?!"
"Nope," Rei said plainly.
"Then... what do you want?" Hiruzen asked, completely baffled.
Rei smiled, a bright, innocent grin lighting up his young face as he stated his demand: "For all my future businesses, I don't want to pay a single Ryo in taxes for as long as I live. 100% tax exemption."
...Tax exemption?!
Hiruzen's eye twitched yet again.
Money AGAIN?! Why the fuck is a five-year-old kid so utterly obsessed with money and tax evasion?! Isn't his family already pretty wealthy?!
Hiruzen quickly ran a mental check through the kid's family background. The boy's family ran a decent local business, but it wasn't some massive cross-nation conglomerate. Granting a lifelong tax exemption for one small local business was practically a drop in the ocean compared to the cost of a Forbidden Scroll jutsu.
"Deal!" Hiruzen agreed happily, practically beaming with relief. "I'll sign the tax-exemption papers as soon as I'm discharged from the hospital!"
Seeing Hiruzen sign off on the tax exemption so easily, Rei couldn't help but smile from ear to ear.
Perfect!
Work hard? Train till he vomits blood every day like a standard shinobi? Fuck that noise!
Rei had zero intention of grinding his life away in the mud. With a broken, god-tier bloodline like the Ten Shadows, he didn't need to lift a single finger to become the strongest in the world anyway. His only real goal in this life was to kick back, relax, and chill out in total luxury.
Though... there's still one massive problem, Rei thought, his smile fading slightly as he pondered his future.
This primitive ninja world was severely lacking in basic entertainment! There was no television, no internet, no smartphones, and definitely no video games. If he just sat around all day doing nothing, he would eventually die of pure boredom.
Well, if it doesn't exist yet, I'll just build it myself! Rei decided inwardly, his eyes gleaming with excitement. I'll use my business to introduce modern entertainment to this world! Movie theaters, arcades, luxury resorts... I'll create the ultimate entertainment empire!
Just imagining his future life—lazing around in a giant air-conditioned mansion, holding a drop-dead gorgeous beauty on his left side and another beauty on his right side, while counting endless mountains of tax-free Ryo...
Slurp.
Rei almost started drooling right there in the middle of the hospital room.
While he was completely lost in his glorious, heavenly daydreams of becoming a lazy, billionaire playboy...
A dry, rasping voice suddenly cut through his fantasy like a sharp blade.
"Brat... would you like to join Root?"
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