With the All-Father fallen into slumber, the evil Loki had seized the throne.
Asgard was now in grave danger. Its people must return, defeat the wicked Loki, and bring a bright future back to Asgard—along with all the other familiar heroic slogans.
That was what Qin Xiao and Coulson heard after getting out of the car, listening to the four Asgardians speak.
Righteous justice… and tired clichés.
Qin Xiao yawned.
"You actually listened to all that seriously, Coulson?"
He couldn't help teasing Coulson, who seemed genuinely interested.
"What a wonderful story. The evil older brother usurps the throne, and now waits for the princely younger brother to return and defeat him. You must not have heard many fairy tales as a kid, right? My mom used to tell me stories like this all the time. I still remember them vividly. My very first picture book, The Lion King: Simba's Story, was basically the same plot—just with a king's brother and son instead."
Qin Xiao rolled his eyes inwardly.Of course you're treating this like a bedtime story.
"Everyone, I understand what you're saying," Thor finally spoke. "But my father told me that until I learn how to be a true king, I cannot return. If Asgard were truly in such dire straits, my mother would have intervened already. From what I can see… things may not be that bad, right?"
It was the wisest sentence Thor had spoken in over fifteen hundred years.
Exactly. If what they were saying was true, then Frigga was nothing more than decoration standing behind Loki.
Even if she had no other options, she could have simply ordered Heimdall to bring Thor back from Earth. There would have been no need for these four to sneak down here.
"The Queen is busy tending to the sleeping Odin! You must return at once, or the Nine Realms will fall into war and catastrophe. We must save everything!"
Volstagg—the most hot-headed of the Warriors Three—shouted righteously, foam nearly flying from his mouth. Growing more excited, he grabbed his axe and swung it wildly at the air.
"Pfft!"
Qin Xiao burst out laughing.
Swish—swish—swish!
Several pairs of eyes immediately turned toward Qin Xiao and Coulson.
Coulson quietly took a step back.
Most of the gazes locked onto Qin Xiao.
"Sorry, everyone! I didn't mean to interrupt your discussion," Qin Xiao said, trying—and failing—to sound sincere. "It's just what you said earlier…"
"Defeat the evil Loki! Save the Nine Realms! We stand for justice!"
Qin Xiao pinched his throat, stood on his toes, and shouted dramatically, perfectly mimicking their passionate expressions.
"Yes, yes—that's exactly how you sounded. It was hilarious. It felt like the Nine Realms would collapse the very second I stopped listening!"
Even though the Asgardians didn't understand the language, they could clearly read the contempt on Qin Xiao's face and the mockery in his eyes.
Volstagg took a heavy step forward, looming over Qin Xiao with his nearly two-meter-tall frame.
The long braided beard hanging from his chin twitched as he spoke.
"Are you mocking us? Mortal, dare mock the gods of Asgard? Believe me, I will use my axe to—"
"Hey! Volstagg, stop!"
Thor rushed between them.
"These are my friends—my teacher. When I was on Earth, he taught me many things!"
Thor knew very well how his friends viewed Earth: a barren land of mortals, beneath the gods. He himself had once thought the same.
"Then you'd better teach him some manners and make him shut up!" Volstagg sneered at Qin Xiao. "If this foolish mortal dares mock the gods of Asgard again, I'll educate him properly—with my axe!"
He swung the axe with a loud clang, threatening Qin Xiao.
The moment he finished speaking, Thor knew this was going to end badly.
He had spent enough time with Qin Xiao to know one thing—Qin Xiao had never tolerated verbal humiliation.
Sure enough, just as Volstagg turned away, Qin Xiao spoke.
"Hahahaha!"
"Coulson, I think I just mocked him again. I actually mocked a god! What should I do—kneel down and apologize? Thor, which god is your friend? The God of Wild Boars? Or the God of Rice Barrels?"
"What did you say?!"
Volstagg roared and stepped forward, but Thor wrapped his arms around him tightly.
Thor blinked frantically at Qin Xiao, silently begging him to stop.
Qin Xiao didn't even glance at Thor. He pointed straight at Volstagg's nose.
"You're the only ones talking about saving the Nine Realms. Which realm needs saving? Who can you defeat? Laufey the Frost Giant? Surtur the Fire Lord? Or the Dark Elves sleeping in their coffins?"
"No. No. No."
"You couldn't defeat me."
Qin Xiao raised a single finger and shook it lightly, scanning Volstagg from head to toe with open disdain.
"You're only capable of bullying malnourished children. I truly don't know where you get the confidence to 'save the Nine Realms.' Is it that filthy beard of yours, or that enormous ass?"
"AAAAH! I'LL KILL YOU!"
Enraged, Volstagg shoved Thor aside and charged at Qin Xiao like a raging boar, axe raised high.
"See? I told you he was the God of Wild Boars," Qin Xiao said casually. "What do you think, Coulson? Coulson?"
No response.
Qin Xiao turned his head—only to see Coulson already sprinting back to the car, far away.
"Damn it! Coulson, you've learned some bad habits!"
Qin Xiao complained as he twisted aside, narrowly dodging Volstagg's axe.
When the axe slammed into the ground, Qin Xiao stepped on the back of the blade with his right foot, grabbed Volstagg's beard, and yanked hard.
Using the momentum, he leapt up and smashed his right knee into Volstagg's chin.
"Bam!"
A dull impact echoed.
Volstagg flew backward.
His massive body soared twenty or thirty meters before crashing heavily into the ground, kicking up a huge cloud of dust.
"Poor little Boar God," Qin Xiao called out, shading his eyes with one hand. "I didn't even use my full strength. Why'd you go flying? Hey—your sexy little butt okay?"
Clang! Clang! Clang!
Sif and the other two Asgardians drew their weapons, glaring furiously at Qin Xiao.
"Well then, great gods," Qin Xiao said, curling his left index finger at them in an extremely provocative gesture, "are you ready to attack a mere mortal like me?"
"Come on. All of you together."
"I'll make this clear right now—if you lose, you're not allowed to go crying home to your mom."
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