We met Jeff at the same diner as last time as per his request. I wasn't happy about this, considering how things ended last time, but the situation had taken a drastic turn and these were desperate times.
We had barely sat down when Jeff was out the gate, already on the offensive.
"What will it take to get you to leave my son alone?" he asked, suddenly father of the fucking year.
"Don't pull that shit. Don't pretend you care who I have in my life when you're not even in it," I said, unable to not be triggered by Jeff, even after promising myself that I'd keep it together for her.
I already had Stacy saying I made her feel like we were a mistake going round and round in my head. Her saying those words was my worst fear come to life. Or at least what I thought was my worst fear, until I was once again faced with losing her. Did I spend six months making her feel unwanted? Unhappy? Miserable?
The rest of the night wasn't exactly perfect either. I was primed for a meltdown.
"I care when one of those people is known to have mafia ties, Scott. She's going to get you killed," a frustrated Jeff said, raising his voice.
"We're not here to discuss my relationship with Scott," said Stacy, folding her hands in front of her, now eerily calm considering the way she'd been freaking out a mere twenty minutes ago. "I'm here to give you intel on Don Angelo Luciano. It won't cripple his organization, but it will wound him personally and give the FBI clues in order to go after him in a bigger way in future. Interested, Agent Brady?"
I couldn't stop myself from admiring her negotiation skills. The way she could just flip a switch like that, like she was turning off her emotions, sometimes pissed me off. Right now though, I was insanely attracted to her. Of course, Jeff being Jeff, managed to ruin it for me by being a dick.
"Why should I trust you? Why shouldn't I just turn around and arrest you after you give me the intel?" Jeff asked, sitting back to observe her like he would a common criminal.
Before I could open my loud mouth again to defend her, she subtly slid a hand under the table, took my hand and squeezed it. That was my move. Had she sensed me tensing up next to her?
"You could, but that would close the door on me giving the FBI any other Intel in future. Hypothetically speaking, if you're right about who I am, do you know the full extent of it? Someone who has been doing the books for the five families for the last seven years could be very valuable to the FBI. Especially if that someone has an IQ of over 160 as well as a photographic memory. Such a person could make your career. Hypothetically speaking, of course," she said, oozing confidence, completely in her element.
Jeff didn't bite immediately. One might even think he considered me while he chose his next words. That he thought being a father first was more important than career advancement.
One would of course be wrong, because in the end when he said, "What do you want?" I couldn't help being as disappointed as I was relieved.
All of a sudden, the perceived danger I was in by being with Stacy took a back seat to his career and I became an afterthought. I tried to shrug it off. After all, I didn't come here for Jeff's protection. Certainly not from Stacy.
"Just one thing. No matter what happens, protect Scott at all costs. That's what I want," she said, blowing my mind.
All this time, I had assumed that this whole thing was just about Jenny. It didn't occur to me that now that the dead man's switch was gone we'd be back to square one and she'd be thinking of me. Worrying about me.
"Is that why you came here? For me? Do you even think this is going to work?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.
"Of course I'll protect my son. That goes without saying," said Jeff, and I felt triggered again.
Where the fuck was his protective nature when he was fucking Melissa mere feet away from me with the door open? How many times did it take before my mom finally believed me about what a piece of shit he was? This man was the reason I couldn't enjoy sticking my dick in someone for over seven years.
"No. I'm not talking about just manning up and putting yourself on his doorstep. Scott doesn't go near the Cattaneo wedding happening in three days," she said, and instead of enjoying watching her hold her own, she was starting to scare me.
"What the fuck? Of course I'm going. If you're going, I'm going. End of discussion," I said, but they just spoke over me.
"Agreed," Jeff said to Stacy with a nod.
"This isn't about me. You can't tell me what to do. Either of you," I thundered, enraged that she would pull this shit without talking to me first.
I expected as much from Jeff, but her? I thought we were partners. In this together. I'd never seen her like this before. Cutting me out of every decision she made. Imposing her will on me. Until right this second, I had never met Don Angelo's Stacy. She scared the shit out of me.
"If things go south, you don't make the arrest and I don't make it out, protect your fucking son, even if that means—"
"I understand. I'll make sure he's safe," said Jeff, throwing a glance my way, cutting her off. "What's the intel?"
"You'll receive it shortly. Be ready," she said, getting up and strutting her way out of the diner.
"What the fuck was that?" I said, storming out of the diner, hot on her heels. "What do you mean if things go south?"
"The plan is shit, Scott. I'm not sure I can bluff Don Angelo. I want you to be taken care of, in case my father ends up strong arming me," she said, her heels kicking up dirt as she crossed the parking lot.
I grabbed onto her arm and stopped her dead in her tracks, spinning her around to face me.
"You know what? You're right, the plan is shit and this has gone too far. It is not your responsibility to get Jenny married just so she can get revenge," I said, grabbing her chin to force her to look at me.
Fear and desperation mixed with anger in her eyes. I knew I was overstepping, but I forged on anyway. Once again, the whole world meant nothing to me if I couldn't have her. I didn't give two fucks about what happened to Jenny or even myself. There was no world in which I existed and she wasn't mine.
"This isn't just about Jenny. Don't you get that? He will never stop. He will never not want me. I don't even know how you're still standing, being the person next to me. It's like he gets some sick pleasure from torturing me. He's just fucking patiently waiting in the wings for the perfect moment to take you away," she yelled, but her eyes were lifeless now.
Methodical. Like she was in fight or flight mode. Just trying to survive. There was no reaching her.
"So what? You're just going to walk in there and give yourself to him on a silver platter?" I asked, trying to calm myself down long enough to understand what the fuck was going on in her head.
I pulled her body up against my chest, wrapped my arms around her and held her close, squeezing the life out of her, everything but my need to connect with her forgotten. Until she spoke and confirmed everything in my head.
"I'm going to do everything I can to come back to you," she said, slowly wrapping her arms around my waist.
Why did that response sound so diplomatic? So much like goodbye?
"Turn yourself in. You could get immunity for the dead man's switch once it's complete. Jenny will understand. She can find her fiance's killer another way," I said, my hands roaming up and down her body nervously, knowing I was wasting my breath.
"You'd do this for Willow. For me," she said, pulling away. "Besides, I don't trust your father."
And who could blame her? Neither did I. He just seemed like the lesser of two evils. She turned around and walked back to the car like we hadn't just talk
ed about her leaving yet again. How many more times would she make me say goodbye?