Chapter 1 Your Husband Has Been Farming Experience Points for a Hundred Years, Honey
DING
[Absolute Invincibility System successfully bound after 100 years of host ignoring it!]
[Current host level: ??? (Heaven itself cannot calculate)]
[Current active skills:
God King Body (all damage = 0, all techniques below Immortal Emperor = mosquito bites)
Pretend to be Trash Aura (can adjust apparent realm at will)
Face Slapping Desire Detector (beep loudly when arrogant young masters approach)]
Lin Feng opened his eyes inside the pitch black cave and cracked his neck.
"One hundred years… and this dog system finally stops pretending to be dead?"
He flicked the blue screen floating in front of him like swatting a fly.
Back then, when the Blood Shadow Pavilion massacred his Lin Clan and poisoned his meridians, a half broken system had latched onto him right before he crawled into this immortal ruin. It gave him one line:
[Seclude yourself for 100 years = Permanent Absolute Invincibility. Accept Y or N?]
Young, dying, and extremely pissed off, he smashed "Y" and passed out.
For a full century the system said absolutely nothing. No missions, no gifts, no daily login bullshit. Just pure, brutal, boring seclusion while he refined his body with heavenly tribulation lightning he summoned the broken system for fun, swallowed ten thousand year spirit herbs like candy, and beat ancient remnant souls to death with his bare fists because they looked at him funny.
And now, on the exact day the timer hit zero, the system wakes up acting like it did something.
Lin Feng sneered. "Took you long enough, you lazy piece of trash."
DING
Welcome back, Host. As compensation for the wait, here is a newbie gift pack.
Random Empress level Wife Card × 1 (already used 100 years ago)
Hidden Identity: "Empress Xiao Mei's Dead Husband" (current status: globally recognized as deceased)
Permanent Title: [Walking Death Flag for Arrogant Young Masters]
Lin Feng almost laughed out loud.
Xiao Mei. His fiancée back then. Ice cold face, venomous tongue, and a pair of legs that could make immortals renounce ascension. The last thing he remembered was her crying over his "corpse" while he was secretly dragged away by the cave's formation.
So she became the Empress of the entire continent? Perfect.
He stood up. The cave that once suppressed immortals crumbled like tofu under his aura the moment he stopped suppressing it. Dust and ancient formations turned to powder. A single step, and he was outside.
The Forbidden Mist Mountains greeted him with a breeze that smelled like blood and sweat.
Lin Feng stretched, bones popping like firecrackers. His current appearance is in his early twenties, black hair down to his waist, simple black robes flapping without wind, and a face so handsome it should be illegal.
He set his Pretend to be Trash Aura to "Qi Condensation Stage 1" and started walking downhill like a normal person.
Five minutes later:
Beep. Beep. Beep.
[Face Slapping Desire detected within 300 meters. Intensity: Medium. Suggested action: break legs or steal fiancée, host's choice.]
A group of inner disciples from some third rate sect blocked the mountain path. Their leader, a fat youth riding a flame patterned lion, pointed his whip at a trembling teenage girl clutching a glowing herb.
"Country bumpkin, that Seven Star Spirit Grass is mine now. Hand it over and I will let you lick my boots as thanks."
Classic.
Lin Feng sighed, already bored. "Move."
The fat youth turned purple with rage. "Who the hell"
Lin Feng did not let him finish. He took one step forward.
BOOM
Invisible pressure crushed the ground within fifty meters. The flame lion whimpered and pissed itself. The fat youth and his lackeys slammed face first into the dirt so hard their ancestors felt it.
Lin Feng walked past them like they were background props, patted the crying girl's head, and took the herb.
"Little sister, next time pick fights you can win. Or find a stronger thigh to hug."
He tossed her a bottle of pills that could let a mortal ascend to Foundation Establishment overnight and kept walking.
Behind him, the girl stared at his back with hearts in her eyes. First future harem member secured.
An hour later he reached Mistveil Town. The streets were plastered with golden posters:
[Celestial Empress's Heavenly Spouse Selection Tournament]
[Any man under 300 years old may register. Winner receives the Empress's hand in marriage plus half the empire's resources]
[P.S. The Empress is invincible. Good luck]
Lin Feng rubbed his chin, grinning like a wolf that just found a sheepfold with the door wide open.
"Trying to replace me while I was in seclusion? Naughty girl wait for me he smirks."
He strolled to the registration desk. The elder in charge swept his divine sense over Lin Feng and sneered.
"Qi Condensation Stage 1? Scram, trash. The Empress does not need a mortal husband."
Lin Feng smiled, the kind of smile that made the air temperature drop ten degrees.
"Write the name Lin Feng."
The elder laughed so hard he coughed blood a second later, because the jade slip he was holding exploded into powder from a strand of Lin Feng's leaked aura.
The entire square went dead silent.
Somewhere in the floating imperial palace, hundreds of thousands of miles away, a woman in snow white imperial robes suddenly opened her ice blue eyes.
An ice phoenix phantom spread its wings behind her, freezing the entire throne room solid.
That name...
That aura that felt like the sky itself was pressing on her soul...
Her red lips trembled.
"…Husband?"
Back in Mistveil Town, Lin Feng paid the registration fee with a single high grade spirit stone the size of a human head, casually stopped walking, turned around, and spoke to nobody in particular.
"Listen up, continent. The real owner is back from his nap. Anyone who touched my wife's bed, my wife's heart, or my wife's hand in the last hundred years…"
He cracked his knuckles.
"…gets to learn why the system calls me Absolutely Invincible."
The second the words left his mouth, thunder roared in a clear sky, and every expert above Nascent Soul on the continent felt their dao heart shake for no reason.
Lin Feng yawned.
"Now then… let the face slapping begin."