I sat beside Pearl, watching her carefully.
"How can you be so cheerful after Akira's death?" I asked quietly. Pearl's smile slowly disappeared.
For a moment, she didn't answer. She looked down at her hands, rubbing her thumb against her palm. Then she took a slow breath. "Because if I allow myself to feel everything all at once…"
Her voice trembled.
"I don't think I would be able to get out of bed again." I looked at her.
Pearl gave me a weak smile. "I miss him, Amane. God, I miss him so much." Her eyes became wet.
"Sometimes I wake up and forget for a second that he's gone. I almost expect him to walk through that door and complain that I stole his food again." A small laugh escaped her, but it immediately broke into a shaky breath.
"Then I remember." She wiped her eyes quickly. "And it hurts all over again." I reached for her hand. Pearl squeezed mine.
"So I laugh. I make jokes. I annoy you. I act like everything is normal." She looked at me. "Not because I'm happy." Her voice became softer.
"Because if I stop doing those things, I might completely fall apart." She looked toward the window. "And Akira wouldn't want that."
I lowered my eyes. Then I finally said the words that had been sitting inside me all night. "Kento kissed me."
Pearl's head snapped toward me.
"What?" "He kissed me."
Her mouth fell open. "What?!" She stood up so quickly that the pillow beside her fell onto the floor.
"That scum!" "Pearl—" "That idiot!"
She started pacing around the room. "I swear, tomorrow I'm going to—"
"He was crying." Pearl stopped. The anger disappeared from her face instantly. I continued quietly. "He told me he loves me."
Pearl stared at me. Her expression changed from shock to something deeper.
Pain. She slowly sat back down. "He… actually told you?" I nodded.
Pearl looked away. For several seconds, she didn't say anything. Then she whispered, "Of course he did." I frowned. "What does that mean?" Pearl didn't answer. I watched her face carefully. There was something there. Something she had been hiding. I reached out and held her hand.
"Pearl." She looked at me.
"What are you hiding?" Her eyes immediately became wet.
"I know you and Akira knew something I didn't." She shook her head. "Amane…" "Please." My voice cracked. "You're the only person I can trust." Pearl's lips trembled.
She looked down at our hands.
"You shouldn't trust me this much."
"What?" A tear slipped down her cheek.
"I've been lying to you." My heart sank. "About what?" Pearl closed her eyes. "I promised Akira I wouldn't tell you until the right time." I stared at her. "Akira asked you to hide something from me?"
She nodded. "And Kento knows too?" Another nod.
I felt my chest tighten. "Then why didn't anyone tell me?" Pearl finally looked at me. "Because we were scared." "Scared of what?" Her tears finally began falling freely. "Of what would happen to you if you knew." I couldn't speak. Pearl wiped her face, but more tears came. "Akira loved you more than anything, Amane. He knew you better than anyone. He knew exactly how deeply you loved him."
Her voice broke.
"He was afraid that if something happened to him, you would completely destroy yourself." I stared at her. Pearl continued through her tears. "And he was right." She squeezed my hand tightly.
"You stopped living after he died." I looked down. "You stopped smiling. You stopped talking. You trained until your hands bled. You barely slept." Pearl's voice cracked. "And I watched you do it." She covered her mouth for a moment, trying to control herself. "I wanted to tell you so many times."
"Then why didn't you?" "Because I promised him!" The words burst out of her. The room went silent. Pearl immediately lowered her voice. "I promised my brother." She looked at me with tears covering her face.
"And I hated myself for keeping that promise." I couldn't move. Pearl leaned closer and held both of my hands. "I wanted to tell you everything." She cried quietly.
"Every single day.
Then she whispered, "But Akira asked me to wait." I stared into her eyes. "What did he ask you to wait for?" Pearl's expression became painfully serious. She took a long breath. "Looks like…
" Her voice trembled. "…the truth can't live in a cave forever." She squeezed my hands. "And I'm so sorry, Amane." My heart began beating faster.
Because I finally understood something. Whatever Pearl and Akira had hidden from me… It wasn't a small secret. It was something they had been carrying with them since before the war.
And now Pearl was finally ready to open that door.