Chapter 34: Life Review, Reflection, and Change
[Evaluation: Poor]
[Commentary: You created a decent opening and had hope for a better ending, but due to your overly intense desires, you walked down a divergent path. In the end, you chased two rabbits and caught neither. You died alone and confused on the street. Laughable, truly laughable.]
[Evaluation is Poor. Rewards: A completed translated web novel, A Life Review before death.]
??
"Does a 'Life Review' count as a reward?"
Haruka could choose not to accept it.
But.
After hesitating for a long while.
Haruka chose to accept.
He wanted to know why, in the fourth simulation, where he was supposedly walking on the "correct" path, he ended up so twisted in the end!
A stack of manuscripts appeared by his bed.
At the same time, his brain seemed to fall into a hallucination of death.
He saw many things.
What does a person think about right before they die?
It's an interesting topic, but generally, no one knows the answer.
His consciousness sank into a vortex, and memories that should have been forgotten floated to the surface.
Trading cards, marbles, catching birds... the joys of childhood.
Bad with words, too sensible, refusing to tell his parents when he was bullied... the stubbornness of elementary school.
Silence, a bystander, an NPC, holding various fantasies in his heart but never daring to act... the isolation and restlessness of middle school.
Inferiority, loneliness; a single dinner party with classmates cost him a month's living expenses. Class stratification, realizing the importance of money and status... the destitution of his university days.
The grind, the grind, the grind.
Wanting to just give up and do nothing every moment, yet having no choice but to join the rat race. Deception, exploitation, witnessing the cunning and reality of adults... the resentment of a corporate slave stepping into society.
And then...
After awakening in this world.
He moved forward constantly for the sake of his desires, but in the end, there was no one to share it with, no one to accompany him. Alone in the concrete jungle, the loneliness from his past life swept over him like a tidal wave.
The dark, deep seawater soaked his body, submerging him over his head.
"!!!"
Thud!
The sound of a body violently hitting the bed.
"Huff... Huff..."
Haruka sat bolt upright. Sweat poured from his forehead, his eyes were bloodshot, and he gasped for air.
It was as if he had just finished intense exercise.
"I actually... I actually recalled my past life. So, was the final answer loneliness?"
"Did I regret it?"
"..."
With a heavy heart, Haruka got out of bed and went to the shower.
***
By the time Haruka returned to bed, he had sorted out his mood.
He still felt his way of thinking wasn't wrong. In a material society, what else was there to talk about if not material things?
But perhaps he could take some preventative measures. Maybe add some spiritual needs, like falling in love, getting a hobby, building some bonds, improving his relationship with his family... at least so someone would be there to collect his corpse...
Mm, this wasn't cowardice. It was just a precaution. It was following his heart. Just like there was a difference between running away and a strategic retreat—they were completely different! (He tried to convince himself.)
There was no helping it; the ending of his simulation self really wasn't a good one.
"I've already cleared the 'Poor' evaluation. Now, in Shoko Nishimiya's simulation, only 'Good' and 'Perfect' remain."
"To clear the stage better, I need to think carefully."
"First, what does Shoko Nishimiya lack the most?"
"Answer: Courage, Independence, Friends."
"In my third simulation, I gave her the courage to move forward at the Cultural Festival."
"As for independence, becoming a sign language teacher was a great start, but her complete deafness later on ruined that."
"Finally, friends—which is actually emotional bonds. It seems that besides me, she only had her sister and mother. Her grandmother passes away later. It's too few; it's incomplete."
After pondering for a while, Haruka identified the problems Shoko faced in the simulation.
If he wanted a Perfect evaluation, these problems needed to be solved.
"However, aside from controlling the beginning of the simulation, I can't control the subsequent developments at all. The 'me' in the simulation doesn't know it's a simulation and has no memories. Thinking about it is useless."
"So, I need a cheat!"
Haruka thought of his two "Talent Selection Rights."
Perhaps this was the key to breaking the deadlock.
"Alright, I'll try it tomorrow."
"Also, can I buy a lottery ticket in the simulation? Then in reality, I could..."
Haruka felt like he had discovered a bug.
But after thinking about it seriously.
He realized it wasn't feasible.
The simulator decided what information was displayed on the interface and how vague it was. Even if he bought a lottery ticket in the simulation, if the simulator didn't display the winning numbers, he would be out of luck.
As for hoping the simulator would be kind enough to display the specific information he wanted?
Haruka looked at the two large words on the simulation interface and fell silent.
[Love Simulator]
"Forget it. Sleep first. It's late."
Haruka pulled the covers over his head and went to sleep.
***
The next day.
Since it was Sunday, Haruka didn't go to school.
After breakfast, he stayed home, looking at the manuscript in his hand.
"Mm, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime and Re:Zero − Starting Life in Another World?"
"What the hell?"
"Is the simulation me sure this can win a Silver Award?"
Haruka looked at the manuscript in his hand, his eyes filled with doubt.
No matter how he looked at it, this manuscript was a "stitch-monster"—a hodgepodge of tropes—and a mediocre one at that. This could actually work?
If this was the standard of the industry...
Haruka turned on his computer and immediately started searching.
He discovered that the light novel industry here was booming but hadn't yet reached its peak. In other words, the market had potential and wasn't saturated yet!
Then he searched for Oregairu, We Never Learn, Kaguya-sama, Bocchi the Rock, A Silent Voice...
None of them existed!
"As expected, they're not here. Wait, I have a bold idea."
"The character prototypes exist here. I need to modify them. Moreover, I can use the content from the simulations as a reference for the modifications."
"This path is viable too. I won't be filthy rich in the future, but I definitely won't be a nobody either."
"If the main ladder of success is blocked, this works too. Let's treat it as a backup plan."
Subsequently, Haruka went full throttle, typing the light novel with the absurdly long title onto his computer.
In two hours, he typed a full fourteen thousand words.
His speed reached seven thousand words per hour.
Even by the standards of web novelists in his previous life, he could barely be considered a "speed demon."
"Phew~ Time for a break."
Stretching his muscles, Haruka walked downstairs.
He saw his petite sister curled up in a corner of the sofa, hugging her rabbit doll. Her tender white feet dangled off the edge of the sofa, swinging back and forth.
There seemed to be a comedy show on the TV, making Sora laugh happily.
"Decided. I'm taking Sora out today."
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