"I want to keep it," I whispered, my hand instinctively moving to my stomach. "Is that crazy? I'm single, my career is barely stable, and the father wants nothing to do with us. But I… I want this baby."
"Then that's what matters." Sage squeezed my shoulder. "Everything else, you'll figure out."
My phone buzzed, and my heart leapt into my throat. But it wasn't Ethan.
Mom: Dinner this Sunday? Dad wants to try that new Italian place. Bring Ethan if he's free! 😊
A hysterical laugh bubbled up. My parents loved Ethan. They'd been not-so-subtly hinting for years that we'd make a perfect couple. How was I supposed to tell them I was pregnant with his baby, but we weren't together? That their favorite "future son-in-law" had walked out?
"I need to get out of this apartment," I said suddenly, standing up. "I've been wallowing for three days. I need air, distraction, anything."
"Okay." Sage stood too, grabbing her purse. "Let's go to that bookstore you love. Get some fresh air, maybe some"
The doorbell rang.
We both froze.
"If that's Ethan," Sage whispered, "do you want me to stay or go?"
My heart was hammering again. "Stay. Please."
I walked to the door on shaky legs and looked through the peephole.
It was Ethan.
He looked terrible. His hair was a mess, dark circles shadowed his eyes, and he was wearing the same leather jacket from three days ago. He shifted his weight nervously, running a hand through his hair something he only did when he was anxious.
I opened the door.
"Hi," he said quietly.
"Hi."
We stared at each other for a long moment. Up close, he looked even worse. Exhausted. Stressed. But he was here.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
I stepped aside, and he walked in, stopping short when he saw Sage.
"Oh. Sorry, I didn't know you had company."
"I called in reinforcements," Sage said coolly, crossing her arms. "Someone had to make sure Mira ate something other than ice cream and tears for the past three days."
Ethan flinched. "Sage, I"
"Save it." She grabbed her purse and coat, squeezing my hand as she passed. "I'll call you later, babe." She paused at the door, turning back to Ethan with a hard stare. "Don't make it worse."
Then she was gone, leaving us alone in the heavy silence.
Ethan shoved his hands in his pockets. "She hates me."
"She's protective." I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling exposed in my oversized sweater and leggings. "You've been gone for three days, Ethan."
"I know. I'm sorry." He looked miserable. "I just… I needed time to think."
"And?" My voice came out sharper than I intended. "Did you think? Did you come to some grand conclusion about how catastrophic this all is?"
He winced at his own word being thrown back at him. "I deserved that."
"You deserved worse than that." Anger was bubbling up now, hot and sharp. "You left, Ethan. I told you I was pregnant with your child, and you walked out. Do you have any idea how that felt?"
"Mira"
"No." I held up a hand. "You don't get to show up here after three days and expect everything to be fine. You don't get to waltz in with your puppy dog eyes and think that's enough."
"I'm not expecting that," he said, his voice rising to match mine. "I'm trying to apologize. I freaked out, okay? I panicked. I'm sorry."
"You're sorry," I repeated flatly. "Great. That fixes everything."
"What do you want me to say?" He stepped closer, frustration flickering across his face. "That I'm ready to be a dad? That I have all the answers? Because I don't, Mira. I'm terrified."
"You think I'm not?" My voice broke. "You think I have this all figured out? I'm just as scared as you are, but I didn't run away!"
"I didn't run away. I needed time to process"
"Three days, Ethan! Three days of silence while I sat here wondering if you were ever coming back. Wondering if I'd be doing this alone. Wondering if I'd just lost my best friend along with everything else!"
Tears were streaming down my face now, and I hated it. Hated that he could still make me cry, could still affect me this much.
His expression crumbled. "Mira, please don't cry."
"Don't tell me not to cry!" I swiped at my tears angrily. "I'm pregnant and hormonal and terrified, and the one person I thought I could count on disappeared when I needed him most!"
"I'm here now," he said desperately, reaching for me.
I stepped back. "That's not good enough."
The words hung between us, and I saw the hurt flash across his face. Good. He should hurt. He should feel even a fraction of what I'd been feeling.
"What did Jessica say?" I asked suddenly. "When you told her about the baby?"
His face went carefully blank. "I haven't told her yet."
I laughed bitterly. "Of course you haven't. Three days, and you haven't even told your girlfriend that you're having a baby with someone else. That's perfect, Ethan. Really mature."
"It's complicated"
"No, it's not!" I was shouting now, and I didn't care. "It's simple! You slept with me, I got pregnant, and now you have to deal with the consequences. That includes telling the woman you're supposedly getting serious with!"
"I will tell her," he said, his jaw tight. "I just wanted to talk to you first. To figure out what we're doing."
"What I'm doing," I corrected. "Because I'm keeping this baby, Ethan. With or without you. So the only thing you need to figure out is whether you're going to be a part of your child's life or not."
He stared at me, something shifting in his expression. "You're keeping it."
"Yes."
"You're sure?"
"Yes." I lifted my chin, daring him to argue. "I know it's not ideal. I know the timing is terrible. But this is my choice, and I'm making it."
He nodded slowly, and for the first time since he'd arrived, some of the tension seemed to drain from his shoulders. "Okay."
"Okay?" I repeated, confused by his sudden calm.
"Okay." He took a deep breath. "You're keeping the baby. That's… that's good. That helps me know what we're dealing with."
"We're not dealing with anything," I said firmly. "I'm dealing with this. You can be involved or not, but I'm not counting on you."
That hurt him I could see it in his eyes but he just nodded again. "I deserve that too."
We stood there in my living room, two people who'd known each other for seven years, suddenly strangers navigating impossible terrain.
"I want to be involved," Ethan said quietly. "I'm scared out of my mind, and I have no idea what I'm doing, but… that's my kid. Our kid. I want to be there."
Something in my chest loosened slightly. Not forgiveness not yet but maybe the beginning of hope.
"What about Jessica?" I asked.
His jaw tightened. "I'll tell her tonight. It's going to end things between us, but… she deserves to know."
"And you're okay with that? Losing her?"
He looked at me then, really looked at me, and something in his gaze made my breath catch. "I lost something more important three days ago when I walked out that door. I'm not making that mistake again."
Before I could process what that meant, he continued, "I know I screwed up, Mira. I know sorry isn't enough. But I'm asking you to let me try to make this right. Let me be here for you, for the baby. Please."
I wanted to say no. Wanted to protect myself from the inevitable hurt when he changed his mind, when this all became too real and too hard. But looking at him now, seeing the genuine regret and fear and determination in his eyes, I couldn't.
"Fine," I said. "But Ethan? If you walk out again, that's it. I won't give you another chance."
"I won't," he promised. "I swear, I won't."
I wanted to believe him. God, I wanted to believe him so badly.
But trust, once broken, wasn't so easily repaired.
And as he stood in my living room, looking at me like I was something precious and fragile, I couldn't help but wonder: how long before he realized that being a father was too hard, too much, too catastrophic?
How long before he left again this time for good?