Lucifer wakes up in his own bed—it's worrying that this is something he needs to check now —with nothing and no one on it with him.
Looks like the day is off to a great start!
Whistling jovially, he walks out of his bedroom—
—And is promptly bitten on the ankle by Catalastor, waiting by his door.
"Aah, what the fuck?!"
*
It goes downhill from there when he reaches the dining room. Which is saying something, given in the Underworld 'downhill' can only mean Tartarus.
"...Alastor?"
"Yes?"
"Why is Luci on your lap?"
"Because I allowed it."
Can I sit on your lap, too? "Catala— Kettle tried to bite me, again."
"That seems to be something you need to take up with it. Perhaps it's how it shows affection."
"How do I deal with it? Without murder."
"How should I know?"
"Because you created them!"
"It was a collaborative effort, last I recall."
"And Kettle is clearly modeled after you!"
"Hm, by that logic, the creature with me is modeled after you . Do you wish to sit on my lap? Maybe you do, given what happened in the mortal realm."
Oh yes, please . "No! You know what I mean! And you knowthat was an emergency situation!"
"I certainly do not know what you mean."
"You—"
He's interrupted by Luci wriggling out of Alastor's grasp—the ingrate, Alastor had even been petting it!—and hopping off to join Catalastor off to the side.
It purrs when he gets close and rubs himself all over him. Catalastor starts licking him fondly.
"...Okay," Lucifer says, between panic and defeat. "Clearly neither of them are modeled after either of us."
"...I'm glad you grew some sense."
*
They go decorate the Gates, this time.
The ensuing flowers outside and just inside are pretty but, as usual, Alastor needs to guide him.
"Henbane, belladonna, mandrake, poison hemlock, leopard's bane and even datura. My, quite the charming little things that have sprouted, this time. Though I suppose it's only appropriate for the location."
Lucifer, recognizing at least some of those, snorts. "They're all deadly aren't they? Well, I guess it only makes sense. If you've reached this far and can't simply walk through the Gate…the flowers will give you another way to enter."
"Haha, indeed!"
*
"Delivery! This one is from Apollo to you, sir!"
"Ah, wonderful, I was waiting for this."
"And this is from Aphrodite to you, Ultimate Bad Boy!"
Oh no.
"Did he say what it is?" Lucifer holds the too thick scroll like it might catch fire.
"Uhuh, he says, he's made this list based on who will be going to the sym—"
Oh look, the scroll did just catch fire. And burnt to smithereens. Oops.
Alastor nods in approval, then ushers Niffty away gently.
"Scrolls these day, so combustible," Lucifer says brightly.
"Quite."
"So, what happened to that story you were reviewing for your friend?" Lucifer isn't asking as some sort of distraction, nor because he actually believes the bullshit. But Alastor is good at coming up with tall tales out of his perky little ass, and even better at telling them.
"I am taking a much needed break from it," Alastor says, and doesn't even blink as he lies steadily. "Which is just as well, the plot has deviated from an intellectual focus and into too much romance. One of the leads had to dispatch a vixen daring to claim the other would choose her."
"Oh, and what did the other one have to say about it?"
"She spoke in a foreign tongue, he did not notice her wanton behavior."
"...You know, that thing you're planning to do with Apollo will be a sure hit."
"I, what? I appreciate the sentiment but where is this coming from?"
"You make even the summary of a bullshit tale you made up sound interesting to listen to."
Rather than be bothered he's being called out for lying, Alastor beams.
*
"Lucifer," Alastor says, coming out of his own room just as Lucifer is walking through the atrium.
"Yeah?"
"I've been considering something since you last used your wings. The brush didn't remove everything that needed to be."
Lucifer shrugs. "That's fine, they feel fine now. A few feathers aren't an issue."
Alastor frowns. "That can't be healthy, Besides, I believe I now have a way of dealing with that without touching them."
"Oh?"
"Behold, the newest changes due to your ichor!"
Alastor steps back. A black hole surrounds him on the ground and from it sprouts…
"Shadow tentacles? But you had those already, didn't you?" Lucifer is pretty sure he saw them in the symposium.
In fact, Lucifer recalls wondering how the fuck those were associated with Spring, back then.
"They're not tentacles. They're tendrils ."
Isn't that the appendage of a climbing plant? No wonder no one questioned them, even if the pitch black appearance was weird. "Alright sure, but you had those before, right?"
"Yes, but they were merely for show. An added dramatic flair, if you will. Now they can become corporeal, and therefore of some use."
To showcase it, Alastor has one move away, wrap around a heavy vase, then lift it easily.
"Ohh," says Lucifer, intrigued. Indeed, having the equivalent to a few spare arms without needing to create a whole ass creature sounds useful. Instinctively, he reaches out his arm towards one near him.
It comes closer and wraps itself around his wrist.
The feeling is…interesting. Wispy, like thick fog, yet somehow solid enough he can feel the soft pressure of it.
And then, it hastily retreats, and Alastor coughs. "Right. So, I think I can use them to pluck out what the brush didn't."
Oh…that is…that is actually pretty sweet. But by all means, Alastor had kept his end and already helped Lucifer despite the difficulties Lucifer placed in the whole ordeal. Instead of washing his hands of it, Alastor was looking for a means to continue while respecting Lucifer's nonsense demands for no touching.
Sure, maybe it's just Alastor's pride refusing to accept he didn't complete a task perfectly, but still.
And why not? Some appendages like that will probably feel extra creepy to the touch and not at all good.
"You don't owe me anything," Lucifer reminds him, "but if you insist, we can try."
"Nonsense! I'd never leave a task sloppily done, what would others say?"
Unless you're going to go around boasting you preened my wings, why would anyone even know?
"So, turn around and take them out."
"What, you won't even wine and dine me first?" Lucifer jokes. "And right in the atrium, too, quite scandalous."
He expects to see Alastor sputter at the joke, but instead he simply cocks his head sideways before retorting.
"My, Lucifer, I just thought of spicing things up, seeing as having you on my bed is becoming quite droll. We can always move to your bedroom, for once."
Lucifer turns around so he's not facing Alastor; the wings are the excuse, but the truth is he doesn't want Alastor to see whatever his expression is right now.
Emboldened by the lack of visual contact, as well as the fact that Lucifer never really had much restraint, he keeps going into…whatever the fuck this banter is.
"Baby, if you wanted to shake it up, you should have just told me. Tell me exactly what your plans are and maybe I'll invite you over."
"Bold words for the one who put it in writing that I could not come anywhere near it."
Bless Alastor for toning it down. Then again, the only way to keep going was by veering into dirty talk territory.
"Yes, well, you're too dangerous. With others the most they can do is get me off my clothes. Who knows what you'd end up taking."
Like my h—
Fuck no. Absolutely not. Infatuation is one thing, but the four letter word Ozzie craves is a much deeper hole Lucifer has no intention of accepting.
"Then again," he says, trying to force a laugh, "you're already taking my ichor and refused my feathers. Not much left of me to take."
"...I can think of at least one thing," Alastor says, oddly muted. "Though some things are better given than taken."
Uh, what?
"Really? I thought you'd be prouder if you took my domain instead of being handed it. Not that you're getting it either way, haha."
He expects a soliloquy explaining Alastor's stance, and instead he's met with silence.
"Uh, Alastor?" Lucifer twists to look back at him.
There's an expression on Alastor's face Lucifer can't read. His shadow, meanwhile, is theatrically banging its head on the wall.
The fuck?
"Aren't you going to take your wings out so we can be done with this?" Alastor finally snaps.
Eesh, is he mad I pointed out he can't take my realm?"Fine, fine. Here you go."
Turning away again, Lucifer finally brings out his wings.
"Ah, I saw correctly," Alastor says, tone back to normal. "There are still some requiring removal. Well then…"
Lucifer feels it when the tendrils touch his wings, and is relieved to find it is fine. It's not creepy like he'd hoped, but it lacks the intimacy of direct contact.
He feels it fumble as Alastor wrestles with controlling it for such a delicate task, and the result is a yank not at all gentle.
"Ah, I apologize for that." Alastor sounds like he means it.
"It's fine," Lucifer reassures him. The feather was already far gone; the harsh removal is better than leaving it.
The tendril tries again, with another one, and this time it manages to remove it more gently.
"I feel like I'm being used so you can practice controlling these," Lucifer jokes.
"Hush, I'm concentrating."
Lucifer would retort, but it is touching that Alastor is honestly concentrating on trying to be gentle, so he lets it be.
Soon, he feels the stray feathers get removed one by one and, as weird as this setup is, he's glad Alastor suggested it.
And then, suddenly, he feels something on him. No, not some thing , but many things.
He blinks and glances down. Sure enough, a tendril has wrapped around his ankle, another is wrapping around his waist and a third is binding his wrists…
They constrict, not enough to hurt but enough that Lucifer feels something alright…
"Stop that!" Alastor says hastily, and suddenly they're all gone. "Apologies for that, they're still quite unruly."
Lucifer, who fears he was on the brink of discovering a whole new kink, laughs nervously. "We've all been there! Like me with your divinity going into my horn yesterday!" Except the horn didn't make him hor—fuck, this isn't the time for lame jokes!
"So…So that's all done?" Lucifer asks hopefully, refusing to turn back so Alastor doesn't see his flushed face. He sure hopes it is, because suddenly he doesn't want those tendrils on him.
Or maybe he does, which is exactly why he doesn't. It makes sense in his head, damn it!
"There's still one left."
"Oh." Lucifer twists around to try and see it. "Where?"
Alastor points. Lucifer contorts a bit more, arm going around to try and reach it.
"Here?"
"Not quite. Let me…"
Alastor grabs Lucifer's hands. Before Lucifer can react, it's guided to where the last one is and Alastor lets go.
"That one."
Relieved, Lucifer quickly pulls it out and finally turns to face Alastor.
"Thank you."
Alastor shrugs. "I was just finishing what I started."
"You didn't have to, you did your best with the brush condition I gave you. Do you…want this?" Lucifer shows him the feather. "Err, you can even eat it if you want…"
It hardly looks good, since this is an old feather that should have been removed long before.
Even so, Alastor takes it from his grasp. "Since you're offering, I'll accept."
He places it inside his robes, but Lucifer finds he isn't satisfied: an old feather seems too little for Alastor going above and beyond to help while indulging him.
What can he do, without it being too much and pissing Alastor off by tipping the scales and making him feel like he's the one now owing Lucifer again?
…Ah, there is something.
"So, Alastor?"
"Yes?"
"Want to get rid of those scars?"
"Finally. I thought you'd be rescinding your offer."
*
Finding an appropriate cavern wall? Easy.
Making a hole in it at record speed to reveal a cave of beautiful frozen stalagmites, so cold any mortal would have become frozen? Also easy.
Carving out a basin in the ground for the water? Pfft, pathetically easy.
Diverting the Phlegethon waters into the cave so that they can have a pool of hot water in an ice cavern? So easy he can almost do it with his eyes closed!
But wrangling his prissy, cannibal deer into making the sensible choice? Impossible.
"Come now, Alastor, you know how this shit hurts. We can just take a bucket of it and have you wash yourself before you go directly into the pool."
"These are but surface scars. I will not be handled like some mortal damsel that cannot handle a little discomfort!"
"It's not a little discomfort, Alastor! Did you forget your fucking hands?"
"Those injuries were bone deep. This I can handle just fine. But if you care so much, give me some minutes alone for me to get acclimated to it."
Lucifer would rather he not do this at all, but if Alastor wants to suffer, who is he to stop him? He just wishes Alastor would take care of his masochistic tendencies through kinky shit like regular folks.
"Alright, I'll give you five minutes. If I don't hear from you after that time, I'm coming in and checking on you." Lucifer pauses, this is a great way to escape the awkward part. "Actually, how about you, uh, just bathe alone? So you can slowly get used to the pai—"
"Is this your newest attempt at pity? You will be bathing with me."
Well shit, how can poor little Lucifer refuse an order? Guess it's out of his hands, and he has to do it.
*
Lucifer takes a moment to proudly watch as the incandescent waters flow in; the shock between it and the frozen cave resulting in a layer of fog and, more importantly, a pool of water that is hot but not insanely so.
"It looks promising enough," Alastor says begrudgingly, and Lucifer knows that's the best he'll pry from him, so he turns and leaves.
He doesn't go too far, just outside the entrance, where he can hear if something goes sideways.
Lucifer hears the rustle of clothing and the small slosh of water as Alastor enters the water.
He strains his hearing and…there, he catches the sound of a muffled gasp.
"No peeking, Lucifer," Alastor whispers, and Lucifer can hear the strain in it.
He has no idea if Alastor can tell that he's listening in, or if Alastor simply assumed he'd try. Regardless, Lucifer pulls his hearing away, just in case.
And belatedly realizes he's going to miss out on seeing that tail again. But it's better this way, he can no longer swear that, if he's caught staring at Alastor, it's for the appendage and not his ass.
He sighs, glances at the cavern entrance, and jolts seeing Alastor's shadow there.
It waves with a smile, not looking at all worried.
"Uh, hey there," Lucifer says, hesitatingly waving back. "Is he okay?"
It nods vigorously, then tries to come closer. It stops a few feet from Lucifer, as if hitting a wall.
"Huh, I guess that's as far as you can go," Lucifer points out. When the shadow looks dejected, Lucifer actually feels bad and amends. "Still! That's much further than a regular shadow can, and we still have a ways to go. I'm sure that by the end, you'll be able to move much further away from him!"
Which wow, is going to be quite useful for some spying given the shadow seems to hear just fine. Whoever Alastor decides to be up against next is fucked. And not in the way Lucifer would like to—
Ahem.
He focuses again to find the shadow is making a 'come hither' motion, then pointing inside.
"Oh no, is he okay?"
"I'm fine," comes the petulant voice from inside. "I'm trying to tell you you can come over."
"Why didn't you just fucking say so, then?" Lucifer shoots back, already walking in.
"I wanted to see if you were capable of understanding basic signage. I fear you did not pass."
Lucifer removes his clothes and sets them aside on a table he'd brought over just for this occasion. The steam created from the temperature difference is thick enough that Lucifer can only tell where Alastor is by a slight darkness in the midst of the fog.
"I understood the motion just fine, what wasn't clear was why he was doing that when you could just call out if you were fine. Err, you are fine, right?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Lucifer rolls his eyes, and clambers into the pool.
And ooh, it is as lovely as he'd hoped.
The scorching, flaming waters, cooled by the freezing temperatures are now just right.
"Oh yeah, this is perfect," he all but purrs as he sinks until only his head is not submerged.
"Hm, it's acceptable," Alastor says, directly across from him.
The pool isn't that wide, so even on opposite sides and despite the steam, he's plain to see.
Not that there's much to see that Lucifer hadn't seen before. Thank Phanes.
And the scars are all gone now; though not like that means much to Lucifer, since it never impacted his opinion of Alastor's looks to begin with.
As for him being fine…well…someone out of the loop might think it's the steam making Alastor seem pale, but Lucifer knows better. And because he knows to look for it, he notices the deep scratches on the stone next to Alastor, as if someone had dug their claws into it with painful strength. He squints, and makes his vision increase, until he can see the pin pricks on Alastor's lips where no doubt sharp teeth had bitten into.
"You look fine," is all Lucifer says. Because he knows saying anything else means ruining the mood and, really, it's not a lie; for someone who just willfully submerged himself in the river while littered with scars, Alastor could have looked much worse.
"Because I am fine," Alastor retorts. Then he pauses and reluctantly adds. "I appreciate you allowing me to do this."
Lucifer tries to shrug nonchalantly. "It's not a problem. Like I said, I wanted company."
"Nonetheless."
"And don't thank me yet! It gets better!"
"...Don't make me regret being thankful."
"Oh, shush. Behold!" He snaps his fingers, and his minions enter carrying their load.
The first dumps a bucket into the water.
Alastor raises an eyebrow, and Lucifer doesn't bother waiting for the scathing questioning to explain. "Yuzu lemons. There's a country in the East that puts them in their hot baths to invite fortune and such. But I'm doing it for the smell. Great, isn't it?"
The rich citrus aroma is already filling the air.
"Hm, not bad so far," Alastor says evenly.
Tch.
The rest of the goats come in, now offering food and drink.
Lucifer glares at Alastor, daring him to say this is barely passable again. Alastor merely raises his eyebrow in silent amusement.
"Congratulations, you managed to have a good idea for once," Alastor finally concedes, raising a cup towards Lucifer as if to toast.
"All my ideas are good, you just have shit taste," Lucifer says, and replies to the motion with his own cup.
They fall into comfortable silence. Lucifer would like to claim that it lasted for a while, but seeing how only a little of the food is gone, sadly it isn't too long before his mind comes up with something he can't stop himself from saying.
"So, uh, speaking of ideas, I've been thinking, since you haven't seen the mortal world much, do you want to check out some other places?"
"Such as?"
That's not a no. Yet. "Well, I made a list of the biggest marvels the mortals built. Things like the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, and the Lighthouse of Alexandria. And there's a few big statues too like the Colossus of Rhodes and the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, but I think we can definitely skip those. Oh, and Alexandria has a library too. And I think the East has some interesting palace structures too, but I forgot to look them up."
"Is Artemis' the temple said to be built of marble and glittered with gold?"
"Yeah, that's the one."
"You should check what was done to make the humans do that for her, and employ that for yourself."
Lucifer huffs. "I told you, I don't care."
"And yet, you feel it is marvelous enough to wish to witness it."
…Damn. "I'm only curious because it's different! Anyway, that's not the point, do you want to see any of those? Or maybe you have something on your mind? Oh! I heard they're building a landscape garden over in Asia. Sigiriya Gardens, I think they're going to be called."
"Hm, since you mentioned pyramids, there's also some in the other continent. It would be interesting to witness one of their rituals of human sacrifice. Or simply a Gladiator match to the death in the Colosseum, if that's too far."
At this point, Lucifer has quit being surprised, much less concerned, with Alastor's fucked up tendencies. In fact, he's all but delighted Alastor has seemingly not turned down the idea of an outing with him. Granted, he's interested in the sights themselves, and Lucifer as a companion is but the price of admission, but that still means he's not so bad Alastor would rather refuse, right?
"Great! Okay, I'll have to check when one of those rituals happens. Do you know who they offer them to? Might be easier if we ask their God. Gladiator matches should be easier to figure out. Anyway, meanwhile, tomorrow we can—"
"Ah, I'm afraid tomorrow will be complicated."
"Why?"
"...Have you forgotten, or did you never pay attention in the first place? No matter, tomorrow evening is the symposium Apollo invited both of us to. I was going to broach this later tonight, but seeing as I'm now allowed to leave, I plan to go back home so I can change into something more appropriate. I did not bring anything fitting for such an occasion with me down here."
But can't you just get Niffty to bring it to you? Lucifer bites down on the desire to ask that. That is so pathetic.
Alastor is right; he can now leave at will. In fact, Lucifer realizes, it's surprising he hasn't yet, especially given they've had days without doing anything to the landscape. Alastor doesn't need any excuse to run off at all.
And even if he does, there's no way he will quit this little deal, not while there's still ichor and such to be pried off Lucifer.
Still, it's a bit worrisome. What if he's reminded of how boring and dull this shit is, and loses interest in coming back beyond the necessary for his rewards?
Well, there's nothing Lucifer can do about it, is there?
Swallowing and making sure his voice is light, Lucifer says, "Oh. Right. That thing. Sure, just tell me when you're coming back and all."
Now Alastor is frowning. "What do you mean by that? Are you not going to the symposium as well? We might as well leave it together."
Oooh, Alastor had been planning to come straight back from the feast. Alongside him, even.
Then again, being seen leaving in Hades' carriage might have him gain some clout, which is likely why he's proposing this.
Even so, Lucifer is happy enough. "I can have my carriage take you and bring you back even without me in it." There, that's even more prestigious, right?
But Alastor's frown only deepens. "I found my way here just fine on my own, why would I need your carriage now?"
"Uh, prestige?"
"You think I'm so desperate as to need your handouts to claim any renown??"
Ah, fuck, here we go. Lucifer is so done, and rolls his eyes. "Not a handout! You're my guest, so it's more of a signal that, you know, 'hey, this guy is Hades' VIG'."
"VIG?"
"Very Important Guest. Just coined it." Well, he'd thought of the G as God, but 'very important god' could take another meaning, so…
"Stop coining terms."
"Okay, okay. But still, you can't react like a prickly bi—porcupine every time. For someone so focused on politics, isn't the gain obvious? Just because you don't need me for your reputation, it doesn't mean a little acknowledging of your current standing hurts, right? I mean, it's by your own skills that you're getting this treatment and all."
"...Hmph, I suppose I could allow you to do this, when you put it this way. However, does this mean you shan't be going?"
"Yeah, no, that shit isn't my kind of thing. I only went to the last one because Charlie wanted to see me."
"No matter how little you may think of the rest of the Pantheon, symposiums are nonetheless a very valuable chance to exchange knowledge, remind others of your dominance and gain connections."
"I don't need any of that."
"Had you had connections, perhaps you would have come to me for this improvement endeavor earlier."
"Nah, even if I knew about a God of Spring, I wouldn't assume anyone could bring life down here."
Alastor's smile is a thin line of frustration for a moment.
And Lucifer can tell when he's thought of something when his smile widens again, predatory.
"A shame, really," Alastor says in a fake, saddened tone. "But such is life, I'm sure Charlie will make do, as she has done so far…"
Fuck, right on his weakness. "How does this involve my daughter?"
Alastor shrugs and, as if he hasn't noticed Lucifer's sudden spike in anxiety, takes his sweet time getting the words out. "Oh, you know, as a Goddess with no defined domain and all, Charlie has survived coasting on her own anonymity and lack of quibble with others. However, if she were to further a project to a significant degree…well, many Gods rely on human misery, do they not? Without rampant issues and dangers, many a deity will suffer a decrease in worship and offerings…and surely even you know how partial to those some can be. And Charlie's projects all involve the betterment of mankind, so it's only a matter of time until she steps on someone's toes…"
Lucifer's hair rises. "But my reputation is also there protecting her."
"Is it, truly? Oh, I'm not saying they shouldn't fear you, of course not! However…how long have you been holed up down here? Out of sight, out of mind, as they say! Perhaps the older Gods have seen enough to still be wary of you to this day, but the newer generation? Ha!"
"And you even daring to come down here thinking you could swindle me being proof of that fact?"
"Why not? The facts are simple! Many are no longer aware of the power you possess, and even more are unsure of how good your relationship with Charlie is. My, certainly, you could make them pay if they harmed her…but I'm sure you'd rather she never gets harmed at all, hm?"
"...Of course not."
"Precisely! And how do you ensure that? Why, by first reminding others you exist. And then, I suppose, having more outings with Charlie to showcase your bond."
We have a bond? Still, Lucifer gets what Alastor is saying. And, annoyingly, he does have a point.
Lucifer always simply assumed Charlie's desire to help would burn out eventually, sour in the face of the difficulty of it and humanity's often lack of worth. It never occurred to him that his darling daughter would persevere this long.
And actual success will bring danger. If she helps decrease or even cure diseases, the Nosoi will complain. Somehow get the humans fighting to agree to peace, and many War related adjacent Gods will take umbrage too. And a shelter for women might bring trouble with Adam…
He also never thought she'd take so long to come into her own domain; which really only serves to make her utterly vulnerable…
Lucifer swallows thickly. "You aren't completely right."
Alastor gives him a haughty look that clearly expresses he thinks Lucifer is grasping at straws to not admit defeat.
"I'm not saying you're wrong, but politics aren't as simple as showing up and beating someone up. Sometimes, laying low is why no one bothers you."
Alastor scoffs. "If you're weak, I'm sure."
"Not really. But okay, that doesn't matter, you're right when it comes to Char-Char, I can't wait for some fucker to do something to her to remind everyone of what I'm capable of."
After all, Alastor had been dangerous enough, and he never harmed her by sheer luck that his interests lay elsewhere.
In fact, now that Lucifer thinks about it… "Were you keeping suspicious folks away from her?"
"Of course I protected my investment from dubious scum that came knocking."
" You would certainly know what suspicious looks like." You see it in the mirror every day. "Okay, anyway, so…I guess going to this symposium will help Charlie."
"Hm, no, not at all."
"Wait, what?! But your whole damn spiel!"
"I didn't say this particular meet up will be of help, only that practicing more politics, going out more, will."
"Okay, so I should start with this one, right?"
"It's pointless to."
"But…!"
"While there is cause for this symposium to be the tale in everyone's lips for a week or so, it will be nothing of note and die down soon enough. Very few of the ones designated to be 'major deities' will grace it with their presence. And of the ones known to make an appearance you, ironically, already have a good relationship with."
"Oh, whom?"
"Nyx's daughters, for starters. Aphrodite will likely appear as well."
"Wait, this is Ozzie's party?"
"It would be quite rude if it was, and rather than invite you Apollo did it in his stead, wouldn't you say? No, his appearance is probable but likely only towards the end. His favored satyr that is constantly at his side is slated to make a comical presentation at the end. Apollo may also briefly join to oversee a Muse that is also scheduled for a song. As far as anyone is aware, no other major deity will make an appearance. Therefore, while there will be some newer Gods that have been showing potential…a vast majority will be upstarts that will be intending to leech off your presence, and give little use in return. It is also beneath me , but since I have been away for a while—"
"A month is a while?"
"A month with you, a few months with your daughter and seven years of repose before that."
Lucifer jolts. He hadn't realized the ichor drinking and Alastor's harm had been such recent events.
Then again…maybe that is another reason he latched on to Charlie.
Charlie is safe. Naive, and too kind for her own good, yes, but she wouldn't hurt him for no reason. Maybe Alastor still had some lingering, instinctual form of trauma and tied himself onto the one Goddess that, even if she couldn't protect him, exuded trustworthiness and would welcome him easily.
…But if that is part of it, Alastor might not even be aware of it, or else he'd have told Lucifer when he fell into the Cocytus. And Lucifer can only imagine the innovative ways Alastor will hurt him if Lucifer dares suggest that.
Alastor is speaking again, so Lucifer concentrates. "And since I don't have millennia of history to fall back on, it would do some good to make others understand that I am back, and that my appearance in the last symposium is not an illusion. Besides, my acquaintance with Apollo and Aphrodite is more frail than yours, so a chance to meet them is more useful to me."
Lucifer bites down on a snort. This might be the closest Alastor will ever get to acknowledging the difference in their standing without being overly pissy.
"So this all means Char-Char isn't going, right? Or else it'd still be good for me to show up and show everyone how close we are." Including showing that to himself.
"Indeed, this sort of gathering isn't Charlie's usual haunt."
So the point is clear: Lucifer doesn't need to go, he's free of that sort of awful socializing at least for another day.
…Or is he?
Even if Charlie isn't going, there is one other person that, if they can gain some protection from Lucifer's connection, Lucifer is more than happy to oblige.
The only other person, in fact. And that's Alastor.
"...Even so, maybe I'll appear at the end, to bring you home."
There is a pregnant pause.
What did I…oh shit. "Err, escort you back to my home, your guest quarters. Obviously. And if you want to come back, of course!"
Alastor blinks twice as if stunned, before going back to normal. Normal meaning annoyed. "I thought we'd resolved this debacle. Why are you back to escorting me like an unruly child?"
Because 'I care for you' is both the correct but worst possible answer, Lucifer glibly searches for a convenient half truth, half utter nonsense. "I need to start somewhere, right? Ozzie and even Bee might be there at the end, and even if they aren't, there's you. There's nothing wrong with me meeting up with the guest helping me out, right? It's a good excuse for my sudden comeback, and much better than me just crashing some random symposium. I mean, I don't really get invited to any nowadays, unless it's a summons for everyone. This invite only happened because we met with Bee recently. So! It's a good excuse for me to show I am willing to be invited in the future."
"So you'll be using my presence for your own reappearance."
If that's more acceptable to you than my liking you, sure. "And you don't really suffer in exchange, right? It shows you're on really good terms with the God of the Underworld, which has to count for something."
Alastor huffs. "Not something . As God of the Underworld, your acquaintanceship can still have formidable appeal, especially if you're planning to remind everyone of your standing soon enough. Remember that and don't sell yourself short, lest you allow undeserving Gods to approach."
"...Says the one who was throwing a fit when I offered you a carriage."
"Your carriage is different from you , and there is also a stark difference between something offered in pity and another agreed upon for mutual gain."
"...You know what? The water is too nice and the food too good for me to argue with you. I take it you don't mind my coming up, sticking around for a hot minute then leaving with you, yes?"
"...No, that would…that would be quite alright, I'll allow it."
The hesitation, as well as the sudden shifty eyes, speak volumes.
That, and the shadow jumping up and down with glee. That helps, a lot.
Clearly, Alastor wants what he can gain from showing off the connection, but is too prideful to admit it.
Eh, good enough for me.
"Oh, one more thing, we should decide when you're leaving, then."
"That will depend on how droll or not the offerings are, as well as when Aphrodite graces the location. As much as I've heard high praise of his satyr's comedic routine, there is a limit to my patience. Hm, perhaps your idea will work out perfectly. I can send Niffty to tell you to come over when I have grown weary of the company, and then use you as an excuse to exit."
"Oho, look who's using whom to run now."
"It's not running , it's simply leaving when one's patience has grown thin. But in all likelihood, I will arrive only after everyone else has. Fashionably late, as they say, to guarantee all will already be there to witness my arrival. That, and to reduce how long I have to deal with them."
"Huh, didn't realize we had similar feelings on this sort of thing."
"I don't believe we do. I dislike the gatherings for including the presence of certain deities and other creatures I find beneath me. You seem to shy away from them for other reasons. Much of them unfounded."
"Oh? What unfounded reasons are those?"
"A penchant for acting as if you are the interloper, when any gathering should be lucky to have your presence."
Lucifer knows he means the title, but still, it's good to hear Alastor praise any aspect of his.
"It's more because of my inability to carry a conversation, actually."
"What nonsense is this? You have been in constant conversation with me for a month now and, unlike you, I have standards."
…Oh. Oh that's…that's absolutely a compliment for Lucifer himself and not just his domain.
There's certainly irony to the fact that receiving praise on his conversational skills results in a lump stuck in his throat, and the inability to articulate a coherent comeback.
"Uh, thanks? But I think that's more on finding you a better conversation partner than I do most Gods." Shit, was that too obvious? "Which, haha, is pretty amazing given half your sentences are so bitchy, haha!"
The shadow makes a movement but before Lucifer can interpret it, Alastor twists his head back to look at it and it dissolves into a regular shadow.
Turning towards Lucifer again, Alastor coughs. "...While it's no surprise that I am a superb conversationalist, especially given the low bar set by so many…I still appreciate you acknowledging it. In truth, given your disposition, I assumed you'd tire of me rather quickly."
"At the start, were you hoping I did, so I'd call it quits and you'd win?"
Alastor gives him a cryptic grin. "Hm, maybe."
"Oh, you little shit," Lucifer says, sounding much fonder than he intended.
Alastor shrugs. "If it makes you feel any better, I discarded that rather quickly."
"Ha, because the Underworld was so depressing, you didn't want to leave too fast?"
"As a matter of fact, n—"
"Mreow."
"Oh, fuck no," Lucifer groans, and sure enough; there at the edge is a cute cat and a vaguely cat shaped abomination.
They both blink down at the water, look at each other as if in silent conversation and…turn tail.
"Huh," Lucifer blinks in surprise. "That went well—"
He's cut short when the two creatures come back running and jump into the pool.
"Hey!" Luckily his head is healed, and his horns aren't even out, so the water now splashing on his head at least doesn't hurt. Even so, he's now drenched.
The creatures don't care, lazily swimming around.
"You fucking bastard!" He makes a motion to grab Catalastor, but the slippery asshole swims away from his reach.
Lucifer turns to Alastor to whine and—
"Pffft," Lucifer can't help the chortle that escapes him when he sees the sight that is Alastor; the drenched hair and fur making for a sorry sight. "You look like a drowned rat hah—no, wait…"
Too late, Alastor's sclera is turning dark and he's growing. Tendrils sprout from within the water, trying to catch the cats, who manage to dodge and get out of the water.
"Wait, wait, no, no killing, bad deer, bad—"
The rest of the evening is spent trying to keep Alastor from committing murder.
Notes:—Sightseeing locations: Lucifer listed what are considered as the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. Hence why a statue of Zeus was mentioned at all.
—Sigiriya Gardens: One of, if not the, oldest still surviving landscape gardens in the world. In Sri Lanka. Built in 5 AD, so a bit "late" here, but you aren't here for a precise historical timeline anyway…
—Satyr: is a male nature spirit with ears and a tail resembling those of a horse, as well as a permanent, exaggerated erection (feel free to imagine them like canon imps instead, lol). Satyrs were characterized by their ribaldry and were known as lovers of wine, music, dancing, and women. In classical Athens, satyrs made up the chorus in a genre of play known as a "satyr play", which was a parody of tragedy and known for its bawdy and obscene humor.
I did briefly consider having Fizz be Euphrosyne (one of the three graces), but she's a goddess and I feel like having imps be mythical creatures but not Gods is more appropriate to how they're treated as the lowest form in Hell, as well as their apparent power levels. I had briefly considered demigods as well but…satyrs felt more fitting after all. Even if they were mostly considered Dionysus' companions.
But hopefully no one is in fact coming here for a religiously precise mythological correlation though, because I am going to have to bend it more than usual for one specific character in a few chapters. But more on that in the next chapter's notes.
Lucifer wakes up.
His room? Check.
Lack of others in it? Check.
Off to a tentative good start!
He sighs as he gets off the bed. Last night hadn't exactly ended how he had envisioned. Dealing with the eldritch deer trying to murder something else hadn't exactly been on his list.
Hm, he doesn't actually have a list, but maybe he should? Or better yet, not a list but make it squares with rows and columns, and he'll try and guess a whole row or column correctly. Maybe give himself a prize if he does?
—Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Attempted murder hadn't been on the menu. Still, Lucifer hadn't been the object of Alastor's ire, and they ended it on a good note between them, and at no point did Lucifer act untowards with Alastor.
So it was a success! Sure, pity that somehow even during Alastor's rampage, Lucifer had failed to catch a glimpse of the elusive tail—no thanks to the shadow entrails making sure to wrap themselves around Alastor to keep him 'modest'—but baby steps and all that.
He opens the door of his room cautiously and—
"Ha! Not today, bitch," he says triumphantly when he dodges Catalastor's attempts to bite him.
"Grrr," it growls in frustration. Lucifer gives it the middle finger and waltzes into the dining room for breakfast.
"Hm, someone is in a good mood today," Alastor says.
"Good morning to you too, sunshine. Today, I avoided that bastard's attempt to bite me."
"You wouldn't need to thwart anything if you had simply allowed me to eradicate them yesterday," Alastor points out mildly, and doesn't seem actually annoyed by it.
Lucifer shrugs and digs in.
And then remembers Alastor has the symposium today. Well, so does he.
"So, uh, what time are you leaving?"
Alastor shrugs offhandedly. "Since packing isn't necessary, I don't think I need to leave too early. That said, I'd appreciate it if you could add the portal to the outside right by the entrance again, so that I don't need to trudge back to the Dawn Gate from here."
"I would have lent you my chariot for that, obviously. But alright." Lucifer snaps his fingers. "Consider it done. And since you're staying a while, how about we take it easy? We haven't played any games in a while."
"Certainly, a strategy game would be pleasant."
"Ugh, how about one with strategy and luck? We haven't played Game of Ur yet, and it seems appropriate since we just visited Babylon."
Alastor raises one eyebrow. "Oh? Are you superstitious?"
"Haha, you think I believe in that mortal nonsense where depending on which tile you land it will determine your future? When Gods want to send me a message, Hermes comes by."
"Fair enough, lead the way."
There is no leading, so much as clearing the table when they're done eating and bringing the board game out.
"And I assume you don't go along with that bullshit either," Lucifer says conversationally, setting up the pieces.
"Naturally I don't believe in it. Even if the board itself were of divine making, how could it predict the future? Most Gods are unable to do it, and yet the mortals believe the board tiles may? Unless Apollo personally makes it, it is nonsense."
Lucifer nods along, grabbing the dice. "Exactly."
"However, that doesn't mean I don't go along with it."
Lucifer rolls the dice. "What?"
"Come now, isn't it something fun to go along with, with the wretched that believe in it? It's not just the mortals, but some lower divine beings that can also fall for it. And then, all it takes is having some amusing definitions for what each tile means for a better experience."
"...Let me guess, stuff like 'if your piece stops here, you'll have a horrible death'?" Lucifer says wryly, moving his piece.
"Nonsense! Where is the fun in something so final? Better to have definitions such as 'you will lose your home', 'you will lose a limb' and such. Witnessing their desperation and loss as they land on each tile is truly delightful." He gives out a wistful sigh as he grabs the dice to roll.
"...Yeah, I'll pass."
"What would you add, then?"
"Nothing? Like I said, I don't believe in it. I'm playing for the goal of reaching the other end, not to find out about my future. Which, haha, tends to be pretty clear without needing this sort of thing. Besides, there's no fun in it with that sort of depressing shit for me. I'd have added something different."
"Such as?"
"Love life, I guess. You know, 'you'll find someone' or something."
Alastor, in the middle of picking a piece to move, halts.
"Is that very important to you? Acquiring a love life?" he asks levelly.
"Uh, no? It's just an innocuous subject to use. I mean, why are you even asking, after what you've seen, do I look like someone seeking something out?"
"Hm, indeed."
They play a bit in comfortable silence.
And then, once again, Alastor pauses just as he's moving a piece.
"...Lucifer, I was thinking about our conversation last night, and the fact that you are reconsidering your stance on your own prominence, or current lack thereof…"
"Okay…" There really is something wrong, Alastor seems more measured, more careful, than usual when he's speaking.
"And it has occurred to me that, if you are to spend more time away from the Underworld in the future, more security measures need to be in place, especially at the entrances."
Oh, is that all? "Huh, I guess so. I can look for some Underworld dweller to deal with that."
It's not his imagination; Alastor's shoulders are definitely taut. "...That is one possibility, yes. But, isn't there a better measure that can be taken?"
"Such as?"
"...There is a Goddess associated with boundaries, and the liminal spaces, after all."
And just like that, all levity and joy is sucked out of the room.
Surely, surely Alastor is not bringing up—
"Someone that you've worked with before."
He is. "Alastor," Lucifer says, and his tone comes out as half plea, half threat.
"Someone who, supposedly, had the task of protecting the Gates before disa—"
" Alastor. "
"Lucifer, this is precisely Hecate's role."
"...Don't."
Lucifer has no idea what face he's making, but it's clearly not enough, since Alastor hesitates but dares continue.
"Was your falling out serious? Charlie has made passing mention of something but never delved into it. Do you know where she went, perhaps we can—"
" Enough!"
There's the sound of stone breaking, and belatedly Lucifer realizes he's banged on the table hard enough for the stone to crack. He knows his eyes must be red and his one horn is out.
Lucifer swallows and sits back down—when had he stood up?—willing himself to calm down.
Alastor is not one to be cowed easily, and instead of flinching or backing down at the outburst, he glares.
"Why? She has been gone for so long and the boundaries to the land of the dead are left unprotected. This is a serious matter that needs fixing."
"No, it doesn't! I have been taking care of it just fine on my own. And like I said, I can set up a guard."
"Only because you've hardly ever left. As for a guard, not every creature can truly supplant her activities for long, you need to define if it's a temporary measure or not."
"No, I don't! I can just stick to barely ever leaving!"
Alastor is staring at him, lips pursed tight and his posture taut.
"So," he says frostily, voice dripping with scorn. "You would jeopardize yourself and the Underworld…for her ?"
Maybe not for her, but for himself, so he doesn't have to deal with it. He hates Alastor's tone. How it veers too close to insulting. How his words hit and scratch at his wound.
And who is he looking down on, really? On Lilith? Or Lucifer?
The next words out of Lucifer's mouth are thoughtlessly defensive. "How the fuck is that any of your business?"
Alastor is stone faced, but his ears twitch.
"Ha, indeed, you're right. It is not. My apologies, sire ."
The distance created with that last word is enough to dispel some of Lucifer's instinctual defensive ire. But before he can recollect himself enough to think, Alastor is standing up.
"I seem to have overstayed my welcome for today, perhaps leaving earlier rather than later is best. So, if you would excuse me."
Lucifer automatically stands up to follow.
" No need to see me to the door, sire." Alastor says scathingly, halting Lucifer's movement. "I am quite capable of seeing myself out without troubling you further. And on that note, there's also no need to greet me in the symposium. If you must make an appearance, better to do it alongside Aphrodite. I can find my own way back. Until then."
Without so much as a glance back, he swirls around and leaves.
Unsure of his own footing, Lucifer flops onto his seat again.
…What the fuck just happened?
Maybe Lucifer wasn't polite in shutting down Alastor's line of questioning, but since when did a bit of aggression bother him?
"Tsk, tsk."
Blinking confusedly at the sound, he looks down.
Luci is looking at him with disappointment, Catalastor with reproach. Or what Lucifer thinks is reproach, it's hard to be sure with that perpetual smile.
As if sensing Lucifer's uncertainty, Catalastor shakes his head. Yup, definitely reproach.
Before he can reflect on it, much less pick a course of action, Lucifer senses someone using a portal.
Alastor has truly already left.
…Fuck.
*
He absconds dejectedly back to his room, where he then flops belly first onto his bed, groaning and trying to make sense of what the fuck happened and how it all went to shit in less than two minutes of conversation.
...Okay, maybe he did go overboard a little.
But Lilith has been a touchy topic for a while.
No, perhaps 'touchy' isn't appropriate either. Too light a word. Rather, the subject of Lilith is a puss filled open wound.
And Lucifer had been dealing with it by pretending said subject didn't exist. He'd all but perfected the art of not actively thinking about that. Sure, it still fed into his depression when he'd been alone with his own thoughts, but it was never at the forefront of his mind.
And it'd have continued to do so, but Alastor had to go and, with metaphorical surgical precision, poke at his wound.
So, yes, he shouldn't have dismissed him like he did. But mentioning Lilith and her absence up in the bubble of warmth and happiness he'd created for himself after so long, had been like a bucket of ice cold water, and he hadn't been thinking properly.
Besides, Alastor isn't blameless either! Isn't the God supposed to be smart and socially skilled? He knew it was a sore subject from the start, why didn't he give Lucifer some grace?
He could tell Lucifer was getting more and more upset and still kept pushing, what had he been expecting?
And why did he even leave in a huff over it? Alastor isn't delicate, nor the sort to de-escalate a situation. The normal thing for him would have been to push back at Lucifer's hostility, not jump ship.
And yet, he'd done just that. Ruining Lucifer's day.
Granted, Lucifer isn't locked up in here, he can just run after him or even send Niffty with an apology but…does he have to, really? He doesn't feel like he should; Alastor certainly never does, and he acts like something crawled up his ass constantly. But if Lucifer doesn't do something, is Alastor coming back? He had certainly seemed irked.
"You would jeopardize yourself and the Underworld…for her?"
And where had that conclusion even come from?
…Okay, Lucifer could see where.
And it was ironic, that he had retorted by saying what did it matter to the one person to whom the answer is actually relevant—
No. No, no, no. It isn't relevant to Alastor. At least, not emotions wise. Whatever feelings Lucifer might have for Alastor, Alastor isn't interested back, so he doesn't need to know where Lucifer's feelings lie.
Just as well, because Lucifer sure as fuck isn't sure.
But Alastor had been helping him improve the Underworld. It had been too much to dismiss his input, when Alastor had done more for the place than anyone else apart from Lucifer himself.
No wonder he left, Lucifer realizes. In his attempt to cut down the topic, he'd inadvertently looked down on and disregarded all of Alastor's contributions so far.
So maybe he needs to apologize, but…to do that he'll have to bring back the topic all over again, opening himself to more questions from Alastor that he doesn't want to think about, much less answer. He can't guarantee he won't continue to react badly if Alastor tries to keep pushing.
Groaning, he buries his head deep in the pillow as the motivation to do anything, including thinking, leaves him.
*
Whereas others might use the phrase 'like pulling teeth' in a negative light, Rosie had never agreed with it. Why, how else is a gal to have some little fun while procuring a crunchy snack?
However, dealing with Alastor today has certainly made her think of pulling teeth, and not in a delightful way.
Really, the rapscallion is too much. Rosie assumed such a big boy would be well past the juvenile tantrum and locking himself in his room phase, yet here they are.
Still, she'd managed it. Through the little the lad had said, and all that he didn't, Rosie thinks she's got the gist of this conundrum down.
And oh my, what a silly tiff.
Well now, if this had been anyone else, she'd give a pep talk about basic self respect, accepting rejection and recommend a recipe involving unconventional cuts of meat…
But Alastor is her special boy, so how can she do that?
That, and from what she gleaned, he might just be making a storm out of a cup of tea.
"Niffty, dear," she calls out, and the lovely girl appears.
"Yes, ma'am!"
"Would you be so kind as to tell Aphrodite I'd like a moment of his time? I'd be grateful if we could scry immediately, if possible."
*
"I have a message for you!"
Lucifer blearily opens his eyes at the shrill tone.
How long had it been? He checks a time piece and finds it's only been a few hours.
Groaning, he sits up and stares at Niffty.
"Yes?"
"Ozzie says he wants to scry with you!"
"Uh…now? Is something the matter?"
"He didn't say."
Lucifer has half a mind to reply and say he can't. His schedule has suddenly become all filled up with 'wallowing in bed' and he's not in the mood to change that.
But Ozzie rarely asks for that form of communication, so maybe he should oblige just this once.
Annoyed, he sends Niffty away with a short reply and walks to his workshop to use the scrying basin.
The cats stare at him, still judgemental.
"Okay, you two need to find something to do," Lucifer tells them. "You guys look like cats, what do cats like…? Aha!"
Lucifer summons a rectangular, blue box he'd made recently, as an aborted idea for his increasing duck collection, and places it on the ground.
The cats sniff it and Catalastor jumps in, taking all the available space. Luci meows in complaint.
Leaving them to it, Lucifer finally sets up the basin and begins scrying.
"Luci, babe! Is everything alright?"
Lucifer is clearly still reeling from this morning, because Ozzie's words feel…off. Like he knows the answer. But that makes no sense.
"Uh, yeah, everything is peachy," Lucifer lies.
"Great! So, where's Persephone?"
"...Why? Didn't you want to speak to me?"
"Yes, but nothing secret, so I just want to say hi to him. How about you call him over real quick?"
Ah shit, the cat's out of the bag. Or the box. "He's…not here."
"Oh no, what happened?"
Lucifer narrows his eyes. "What do you mean, what happened? Why do you think something had to have happened? Alastor can come and go at will now, remember?"
"W-Well yes, but! He never left before, and…and you don't look very well, so I can feel something happened."
Did he look that bad? He just got out of bed and is kind of depressed, so it makes sense.
Besides, what other explanation would there be? That Alastor went up and sicced Ozzie on him? Ha, as if.
"Okay, yes," he relents. "Something did happen, okay? Alastor went too far, so I blew up a bit, words were said and he got mad and left in a huff. Even told me not to bother sending him off or picking him up from the symposium."
"Oh my, you reached the point of picking him up?"
"N-No! Not like how you're thinking! It was purely strategic! Or would have been…"
"Strategic to seducing him, you mean?"
"No! It would show that he's in my good graces which would improve his standing."
"And how would that be strategic for you?"
"...Iwouldbeabletoprotecthimusingmyname."
"Babe, you're gonna need to repeat that at a normal speed."
"Fine! It would help me protect him! And fine ! I know you're going to ask so let's just get it out of the way. Yes, you were fucking right, I do have a minor, very minor, crush on him, okay?! But that doesn't matter, because he can barely stand my presence and fucking ran off as soon as he could!"
"Woah there, honey, let's take a deep breath, okay? Real deep. Like you were getting ready to choke on the biggest c—"
"Ozzie!"
"It calmed you down, didn't it?" Ozzie says proudly.
"...Heh, fine. Yes, that helped."
"Good! Now, I'm very proud of you for somewhat acknowledging your feelings—"
"Somewhat?"
"Would you be reacting like this over some minor attraction?"
"...Can we skip that part?"
"Alright, for now. So, well done you, for getting this far! Now, tell me what happened and maybe I can help you."
Lucifer would like to say that no, he can't, but this is, in fact, Ozzie's area of expertise. Besides, he won't quit until Lucifer tells him.
"...Alastor mentioned Lilith."
"Oh my," Ozzie says, and again Lucifer has the strange impression something is wrong. As if his reaction is too small, too fake.
But that makes no sense, so instead Lucifer goes on to describe the morning's falling out.
He's done in record speed—it had happened that quickly, after all. He expects Ozzie to be frowning and thinking about it, but instead Ozzie is blinking at him as if in disbelief.
"...Luci…"
"Meow?" Cat Luci replies before standard issue Luci(fer) can.
"Hm, was that a cat?"
Well, shit, trying to explain why he's saddled with both an abomination and a cute creature that look too much like him and Alastor is only going to make Ozzie worse.
"Ah, you know me, always trying out new stuff, haha. Yeah, there's a cat. A regular, boring one, nothing to see here! Uh, you were saying?"
Thankfully, Luci doesn't try to go up on the desk, as Catalastor and his monopoly of the box (albeit to eat, given the state it's in now) have captured its attention again.
Thankfully Ozzie seems to be struggling too much with how to word his next sentence to care about seeing the cat. "I…okay. Let's…do this in parts. First…what do you think about your own outburst?"
"That I should have been more controlled about it?"
"But why do you think it came out in the first place?"
"Come now Ozzie, you're one of the few who know. I…don't like thinking about her."
"I know that, but in the very few rare instances I've seen anyone dare to bring her up to you since her leaving, anger wasn't your reaction. Sadness was. Granted it has been a long while since then, so maybe you've become angry about it?"
"I…I haven't really been thinking about it, at all."
"Hm, so why do you think you reacted with anger this time?"
"..."
"Guilt, maybe?"
"Why should I be feeling guilty?"
"I never said you should, babe. But maybe you do, anyway. As for why… maybe because Hecate is Charlie's mother and you feel some unhealthy need to think that by keeping yourself saved for Hecate, you're being a good father. Or that Charlie will be upset if you move on, and since you think you've failed her this far, you can't fail her more. So you prefer to suffer alone in silence and hope Hecate will waltz right back in with some excuse to explain her absence and prior behavior, and all will be alright without you having to have some serious, adult conversation with your daughter."
Lucifer blinks at the sudden onslaught. "Uh…"
But it isn't over. "Oh, and having to acknowledge you don't love her anymore means having to reflect maybe your feelings for Persephone are deeper than you want them to be. And that might also mean that she did hurt you and you can't go back to the comfortable space you once had. And maybe that will mean reexamining previously happy memories and realizing maybe they weren't that healthy, and—"
"Alright, alright!" Lucifer says hastily, putting both hands up in panicked surrender. "Eesh, you're not holding back, are you?"
"I don't know what you mean~, I'm just listing possibilities."
"Right. Look, Ozzie, I appreciate you trying to help, but I can't…I don't have the answers."
"Sure, no problem."
"...Really? That easily?"
"Babe, if you don't know the answers yet, you won't figure them out in five minutes. I'm just giving you pointers for self reflection. Because even if I am the God for any sort of love, even the toxic, passionate or short-lived…I wouldn't want that for a friend. You need to untangle your feelings sooner rather than later. You can't move forward if you don't."
"Is this about Alastor again? There is no 'moving forward' here."
"Maybe not now, but didn't you hate each other's guts a month ago? Who knows where you two will stand a month from now. Or, even if it's not Persephone, maybe you'll fall in love with someone else. And in either case, you need to know where you stand on Hecate, because anyone looking for anything serious with you is going to want to know about that, and if they think you still have the hots for your ex, you can kiss any potential serious relationship goodbye. Or, if you are still in love with her, then you should know not to lead anyone on."
…Shit. Ozzie keeps sounding sensible and wise. That means Lucifer is well and truly fucked.
Except for the leading on part, who is there for him to lead on?
"Aaaaand, speaking of which…didn't you say Persephone left in a huff after declaring you're willing to go so far for Hecate?"
"...Yeah?"
" Clearly, he came to the conclusion that you would rather harm yourself and this place than impact Hecate's standing, which implies you love her a lot. And that hurt Persephone enough to make him leave. Luci. Luci, babe, c'mon, doesn't that suggest…?" Ozzie gives him a suggestive wink.
Oh. Oh good, Ozzie is back to saying ridiculous shit again. Lucifer heaves a sigh of relief as he finds his footing.
"Ozzie. I get it. I do. Your whole shtick is love, so you see it everywhere. And sometimes you hit bullseye, but sometimes…you don't! And that's okay, old pal. And this is one case where you're reading too much into it."
Ozzie's eyes almost gyrate out of its sockets before he theatrically hides his face between his hands, as if in despair.
"Luci…for fuck's sake," he groans from within this hands. "I know I just said you could take some time to reflect, but this is too fucking much. What, exactly, do you think happened, then?"
"Obviously, Alastor was extremely hurt that, despite all he has done for the Underworld, I told him its running isn't any of his business."
"Fuck it, I tried my best," Ozzie mutters quietly.
"Uh, what?"
"Nevermind!" Ozzie says with fake cheerfulness, face back up again. "Alright, Luci, even if it meant nothing now, remember it's still important to—"
"Apologize for getting snappish? I've acted worse before and so did he and neither left in a snit! Besides, I'm not the only one at fault, he knew he was upsetting me and kept going!"
"Actually I was going to say it's important to clear the air, if you do come to the conclusion you don't love her anymore."
Lucifer ignores that. Ozzie is too focused on that angle to understand that's not the point.
As for the apology… "Is he waiting for one," Lucifer muses, "even if he's at fault? I never acted like I looked down on his efforts before. I guess I did hit his pride…"
Ozzie sighs. "You can apologize for that part, while still pointing out he did start the issue and refused to stop."
"...Hm, I guess. There's no way he's coming back if I don't extend the olive branch first."
"Are you so sure about that, babe? He was set to leave anyway, right? So it's not as if he chose to abandon you, he simply left a bit earlier."
Huh, had Lucifer told him that? Well, he must have. More importantly, Ozzie has a point.
"You're right, I overreacted and exaggerated Alastor's response. Wow, Ozzie, I'm so glad you called! You shot some blanks there—"
"Oho, I never shoot blanks~"
"...Right. You missed the mark—"
"Oh, I always know juuuust the spot to hit~"
" I'm trying to seriously thank you, damn it! Ahem. You were wrong about Alastor, but you made some remarks about me needing to reflect that I admit are correct. So thanks for that. And when Alastor comes back I'll apologize for acting like his input doesn't matter. But only for that."
"When he comes back? What if he doesn't, without you going to meet him?"
"Didn't you just say it probably wasn't a big deal and he only left because he was set to do it anyway?"
"...Fuck. Alright, probably, but won't it generate more goodwill if you don't wait for that and go after him?"
"Huh, he's so proud, I think you're onto something there. Alright, I'll go pick him up at the end of the symposium. What time is that, anyway?"
"Why not just join the party?"
"Nah, not my kind of thing, you know that."
Ozzie just stares at him, and then smiles cheerfully. Too cheerfully.
"Well, Luci babe, if that's how you feel, I won't push you."
"...Really?"
"Of course! Vigorous consent is important in every activity. Besides, I do think this is for the best."
"...You do?"
"Yes, after all, you have no intention of even trying to take the next steps with Persephone, so it would just hurt to go and witness him interacting with others, especially if he does find a love match."
Lucifer narrows his eyes. "I know what you're doing Ozzie, I was born long before you."
"I have no idea what you mean…"
"Bullshit. You think implying Alastor is, what, going to hook up with someone in the symposium will make me so jealous I'm going to rush there? Bitch, please, he's free to do whatever he wants. And you are right, if that is going to happen, it is better that I don't see it."
"My, I would neve r try to trick you."
"Uhuh."
"Have I ever lied to you, Luci?"
"Well, not lie, no, but I see through your ruse."
"It pains me to hear that. If I wanted to trick you, I'd have convinced you that going is for the best so that you could see what kind of characteristics Persephone falls for. This way you could either make peace with the fact that you really have no chance, or even see that you do…"
…Oh. That. That is a good idea. Yeah, get this settled once and for all in a way that Ozzie can't refute…
But hold on. "That would only, maybe, maybe, be a g— interesting idea if there was even a sliver of a chance of Alastor randomly falling for someone immediately, and what with his high standards—"
"Oho, you know what his standards for romance are?"
"I don't have to! The guy is a self absorbed, ambitious bitch, there's no way he's falling for anyone easily, not even if someone high up like Adam himself started showing interest—"
"Ew, Luci, I get you're trying to paint a picture here, but let's not go there, shall we, babe?"
…Eesh, Lucifer had no idea Ozzie had some sort of issue with Adam to the point he can't even hear about him flirting with someone. Then again, Ozzie likes consent, while Adam treats that as some sort of optional condiment.
"Alright, alright. You get the picture. He's not going to meet someone and hook with them so quickly."
"Hm, what if he's not meeting, but reuniting with someone he already had quite the close relationship with?"
"...What?"
Ozzie shrugs. "It's just that I did check his background a bit, in case that could help you; which is why when I checked the guest list I could recognize a certain name."
"Who is it?"
"Does it matter? You aren't even going."
"...What kind of relationship?"
" Quite close. I'm sure whatever caused them to drift apart must be complicated and sad. Especially since this God seems to be quite obsessed with Persephone still. Which I suppose is only understandable, given their past…"
"Who—"
"Oopsie, I gotta run, there's a lot I need to do, and I must do my best so my froggie's performance is perfect. Bye Luci!"
He cuts the connection before Lucifer can even try asking for more information.
…Shit.
Ozzie isn't one to outright lie. Which means this God and his connection to Alastor exists. And his interest in him is real.
…But if they were never an item before, that means Alastor isn't interested!
…Which would make this a perfect chance to see what sort of thing Alastor doesn't like.
Wait…Ozzie never said what sort of relationship they did have. What if they were former lovers, and Alastor's greed tore them apart? What if they rekindle what they had?
…So what, it's none of Lucifer's business.
…
…
…
He's going, isn't he?
Fuck.
On the ground, in a fit of jealousy, Luci destroys the box Catalastor was toying with.
Notes:I consider this the start of the second "rollercoaster" arc in this fic.Ups and downs, screaming… :3c
This fic has a tvtropes page! https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/Theoxenia. Thank you @GlitteringWolf for making it!
—The Royal Game of Ur is a two-player strategy race board game that was first played in ancient Mesopotamia during the early third millennium BC. At the height of its popularity, the game acquired spiritual significance, and events in the game were believed to reflect a player's future and convey messages from deities or other supernatural beings.
—Lilith: As mentioned before, I'd like to avoid her as much as possible as her personality and motivations are still a mystery. But given the point we've reached, it'd be hard not to at least mention her, unless I completely erase her existence in the AU. And there was a perfect fit for a Goddess.
I've briefly mentioned Hecate in notes previously, but now it's time to expand: Hecate is a goddess in ancient Greek religion and mythology, most often shown holding a pair of torches, a key, or snakes, or accompanied by dogs. She is variously associated with crossroads, night, light, magic, protection from witchcraft, drugs, and the Moon.
Thanks to her association with boundaries and the liminal spaces between worlds, Hecate is also recognized as a chthonic (underworld) goddess. As the holder of the keys that can unlock the gates between realms, she can unlock the gates of death.
In the earliest draft of the plot, when I was still deciding if Alastor would have a secret deal like in canon or not, I was going to make it so he had a deal with Lilith, which is how he was able to easily get into the Underworld. But consider this: if you think this is a slow burn now, imagine how much slower it'd have been if Alastor was under a deal. So he'd have cause to have issue with Lucifer, and Lucifer would have a reason to think any feelings aren't sincere… To avoid making this much longer than it already is, I erased the deal.
Hecate is a really perfect goddess for her. The symbolism, her domain, the link to witches and the Underworld etc. Unlike a certain someone whose relationship with Alastor is complicated and sad. That one has been terrible to decide on a God for…