The next morning, Lucifer wakes up to a conundrum.
What the fuck is he supposed to do today?
He can't just extract his ichor in one fell swoop and go off to do more landscape anymore; Alastor ordered him not to, and he'll likely dig his heels in if Lucifer does differently. Meaning he has to figure out how else to entertain Alastor today.
Then again, does he? It's not like Alastor will accuse him of failure at any little incident at this point, Lucifer can likely just request a tranquil day of both doing their own thing. And maybe some distance is just what he needs.
More importantly, maybe Alastor won't truly care if he does try to draw another full cup by today. After all, it's Lucifer's own problem if he harms himself.
*
That assumption doesn't go past breakfast.
"So, what is our schedule today? And I do so hope you won't be so droll as to suggest more gardening, given you haven't had time to slowly and safely draw out your own ichor."
Well shit, there goes that hope, and it's Lucifer's own fault. He can't exactly refute and claim a cup of ichor is nothing to him, since that will just make Alastor question what the refusal to create the hot springs yesterday was about.
On that note…
"Did you notice any changes after drinking my ichor yesterday?"
Alastor gives him a guarded look, so Lucifer rolls his eyes. "Stop thinking I'm trying to backstab you all the time, sheesh. I'm not redoing the deal depending on your answer, I just like knowing these things. It's not like there'll be any other chance to study the effects of ichor drinking, is there?"
"I suppose," Alastor concedes. "I did not feel a direct increase to my divinity, more's the pity, but I've had some interesting side effects."
"Such as?"
"You haven't looked at my shadow yet, have you?"
Why would I look at your shadow when I can look at your fa —"What the fuck?!"
Because Lucifer had finally torn his eyes away from Alastor's fetching face to look at the ground. Inexplicably, contrary to all conventions, the outline of eyes and a smile could be seen amidst the black. Except much, much, creepier than the real deal.
Worse yet, despite Alastor not moving an inch, the shadow blatantly does so, turning so it can fully face Lucifer and…
Did it just fucking wink and wave at him?
Alastor sees it and, frowning, waves his hand in a curt gesture. With an expression that Lucifer can only describe as dejected, the shadow changes and becomes a normal looking shadow again.
"That's…I definitely wasn't expecting that ," Lucifer concedes.
"Likewise. Quite the fascinating little turn of events, wouldn't you say? Currently it is a bit of a useless nuisance—"
"Aww, don't say that, you'll break its heart." Lucifer ignores the fact he was thinking of it as creepy less than a minute ago.
"...It's my shadow. It doesn't have a heart. Anyway, hopefully with more ichor it will evolve further and become something of note. I am not, however, telling you to speed it up. And don't think all this talk managed to distract me from the issue of you not having extracted ichor for today."
Accepting his loss at his own hands, Lucifer sighs. "I'll be honest, I don't have any other ideas right now."
Alastor shrugs. "No need to be so despondent, a slow day is perfectly serviceable. Why, I am hardly a hyperactive toddler that requires constant engagement lest I become destructive."
The jury is still out on that front.
"Besides, it would do you well to take some time to do research now, as opposed to attempting it during the night."
"Research on what?" Although, maybe he should do some of that regarding connecting powers…
"Why, on the plant life you're planning on requesting, obviously! Or are you really going to leave the other areas to chance?"
"Why not? It worked beautifully in the Elysian Fields."
"Certainly, but won't you be vexed if every corner is the same?"
"After millenia of nothing, not really, no."
Alastor huffs. "Don't be obtuse on purpose."
"I'm not! I really wouldn't mind. And sure, maybe variety would be nice, but it's hard researching flowers and plants. There's hundreds of them, and a drawing on a scroll isn't the best way to give me an idea of how good they'd actually look."
"So you'd need to see some real life samples."
"Yeah, but I can't exactly go knocking on every Gods' door asking to see their garden to check out and compare what each one has, can I? Maybe if there was a big one that included a lot of varieties…"
Hm, actually…now that he thinks about it, there is a Garden that should do that…
"Well, I suppose I can allow you to witness my private gar—"
"The Hanging Gardens of Babylon! Oh, sorry, you were saying something?"
Alastor quickly brushes his apology away with a hand flourish. "Nothing of importance, ignore me. You mentioned the Hanging Gardens?"
"Right! I heard the mortals outdid themselves with the complex, and it's quite large. Is it true?"
"I've never been there myself, but accounts have been positive. Though good taste is hard to find, so who knows, haha."
At this point, Lucifer has quit being surprised the God of Spring didn't do something as basic as check out an universally praised garden. "I haven't either. Err, do you…would you like to see it with me?"
Which, yes, sounds dangerously close to the invitation to an outing one goes to with a lover and not a business partner, but consequences be damned this time. It's not even about taking Alastor somewhere romantic.
The Garden is a recent construct. Perhaps not even fifty years old yet. By then, Charlie had already long left his side, and as much as Lucifer craved to see it, there was something too pathetic and painful about going alone to see something one usually does with family or close acquaintances. That, and the reminder that he could have none of it in the Underworld.
So fuck it, he has someone to keep him company, someone whose company he actively enjoys, and a perfect excuse so it doesn't seem like he's asking Alastor out on a date.
…And that it will double as a date is certainly not an added bonus.
But Alastor's smile wanes as he avoids eye contact. "You will have to venture forth on your own."
"...Oh," Lucifer tries to make a joke to hide his disappointment. "Are you looking down on human inventions?"
"I have no intention of making myself known to the likes of them at this time."
Lucifer doesn't understand, and that must be plain on his face, because Alastor looks at him and through gritted teeth explains. "I'm…unable to disguise myself."
…Ah.
"I keep forgetting how young you are," Lucifer admits. "With the way you're going, you should be able to take on human disguises soon enough."
That seems to mollify Alastor. "Certainly, I will. However, as of this moment, it isn't a possibility, so I cannot join you."
Even if he can't turn into a mortal, surely he can turn into a deer? Then again, trying to walk in the midst of humans while looking like a prey animal is probably a risky idea.
And it doesn't matter, because…
"If that's the only issue, I can put you in a disguise."
Alastor blinks in surprise. "Truly?"
"Would I lie about this?" Lucifer tries not to stuff his chest out in pride. That's right, he can disguise himself and others, he's just that good.
"Fair enough, that was foolish of me."
"So…was that the only thing stopping you? Do you want to go there with me?"
"...Yes. Lead the way."
*
As much as Lucifer wants to show off his skills and create a disguise with flair, not calling out undue attention is better. That, and maybe removing Alastor's more striking features will help lose interest in him.
So Lucifer musters the most basic and mundane disguise he can for Alastor; naturally giving him human ears but also changing his hair and eye color to a common brown color.
There, without the showy red… fuck he still looks like a beauty .
If anything, it's now worse, because the fluffy ears kept shifting Lucifer's attention out of Alastor's face, and his sharp teeth made him creepy. Now there's no distractions and nothing that spells 'suspicious' about him, which even with the most mundane colors results in a very attractive face.
Damn it.
"Why do you look disappointed in your own handiwork?"
"I'm not. I was just thinking about something else. So, what do you think?"
"Hm, it'll do," Alastor says mildly, but Lucifer notices him lingering too long on his own reflection.
"Alright," Lucifer says, not wanting to just stand there and stare at Alastor's face. Or maybe it's precisely because he does want to do that that he's already turning away. "Follow me!"
"...We're not going to your chariot?" Alastor asks in confusion, when Lucifer begins taking them in the opposite direction.
"That takes too long, not to mention the hassle of leaving them somewhere."
"Then how do you plan to take us there?"
"How else? Places dedicated to me tend to be built where there are entrances to the Underworld. Not that any mortal would've been able to use them alive, but still." He doesn't bother asking Alastor about his temples; he's too young and besides, his domain is related to Demeter's already, so Lucifer doubts he has any. And if he does, Alastor will no doubt boast about it.
"I was unaware you had temples dedicated to you—" Alastor comments, confirming to Lucifer he doesn't have his own.
"They don't exactly use my name," Lucifer cuts in proudly. "Fear and all. So they use Pluto instead. And they're sanctuaries, since they're mostly anywhere with a cave or other entrances to here, so I legally own the places, which lets me do whatever the fuck I want through them."
Alastor frowns. "Let me finish. Of course I know you have temples and sanctuaries dedicated to you. What I was trying to say is that I'm surprised you have any in Babylon ."
"Oh. I go by another name, there." And another gender. "And on the outskirts, some followers of mine found a cave with a fault line and the rest is history. Which is great for us, because it'll make this so much faster!"
"I see."
Just in time, they've reached a particular wall. Lucifer places his hands on it, and it changes to reveal a staircase going upwards.
"I'd say after you, but I need to go in front to open the way."
"After you , then," Alastor says, hand motioning towards the stairs with a theatrical flair.
It's a tight space, which is why they need to climb in a line. In Lucifer's defense, visitation from Gods wasn't something that normally occurred, especially not any coming from the mortal realm. And so it never occurred to Lucifer to spruce up, much less expand, the stairs that were ultimately there as a shortcut. Now that he is using them with Alastor in tow, however, he rues the lack of incrementation. A duck banister, at least.
"Incidentally, Lucifer," Alastor says from behind him. " Do explain to me how you are so woefully behind on basic knowledge on current divine genealogy, yet you seem to be quite up to date on mortal happenings that are less than a century old."
"Easy. Human inventions are fun to witness. Olympus politics are not."
"But they're useful."
"Not to me."
They fall silent, but that's perfectly fine. Space time in the Underworld doesn't have to follow mortal realm rules; they don't need to climb for days on end, but only a few minutes later there's a change in the air.
It's not a good one at first. While Underworld air is never good, and at best smells like nothing with an underlying scent of death… the air coming up now is worse.
"Sacrifices?" Alastor asks.
"Yes, they keep throwing shit down instead of just burning it on a shrine or something. Even when my underlings take the offered carcasses away, the accumulated smell of rot lingers. I'm envious, your offerings must all smell good."
"Beauty is the eye of the beholder! Why, I find this smell enticing."
If anyone else had said that, Lucifer would have rolled his eyes and taken it as sarcasm or a joke. But it being Alastor…
And then, finally, the steps disappear into a gray mist.
"Beyond here is the mortal realm," Lucifer explains. Knowing his guest, he knows better than to try and reassure him, so he just walks straight into the mist, assuming Alastor will follow.
Despite how heavy and oppressive it is, in two steps he's suddenly out. Not into anything magnificent like sunlight and fields of flowers, obviously; but into the very back of a dimly lit cave, with the smell of blood permeating everything.
Lucifer expects Alastor to praise the disgusting looks, but instead he looks outright displeased.
"What? Didn't you say you like the smell?"
"The smell is fine, it's the presentation that is disgracefully lacking. This is it? Some arches to hold it up and nothing else? They should fear your wrath if they dare make requests without the proper acclaim. You should demand to have at least a temple or two of the appropriate grandeur. At least they treat your name with some proper respect. That said, if they are calling you Pluto, the wealthy one, then at least the temple or sanctuary should reflect that."
Lucifer shrugs. "I don't care."
Alastor makes a noise of clear disapproval in the back of his throat, but doesn't argue further.
Thankfully there's no one around—then again, who the fuck is going to worship him in broad daylight?—so they just walk out without worry.
"Good news, this place is pretty close to the city, so we should be there in an hour or so."
Alastor makes a noise of acknowledgement this time, as he moves to walk alongside Lucifer and no longer behind him.
Lucifer almost expects whining about having to traipse through a forest and not directly into civilization, but Alastor makes no complaint. He doesn't seem to have any admiration for the surroundings either, but Lucifer is happy enough with him not being an uptight bitch.
I guess he's used to this stuff , Lucifer muses. He'd normally want to stop and admire the view—bask in the sunlight, at least—but he has something better waiting for him, so Lucifer remains focused on making a beeline to the Gardens.
Which brings him to a blessed fact about humans and real estate. Because Gods are, well, Gods and even though their architecture tends to be divinely built, location is not generally an issue when it comes to building anything. The only pressing concern is who might own the land, but that's it.
Not humans though; even the richest, most asshole noble isn't going to have too easy a time tearing down previously established architecture for something fancy.
That means an undertaking as large as the Hanging Gardens wasn't going to be easily built in the heart of a city, but instead closer to the outskirts, where a larger plot of land is less of a hassle to come by, and easier to take a hold of. That, and they can build it next to a river for easier irrigation.
All of which means, they're barely out of the forest and already Lucifer can see the hints of the Garden in the distance.
"There it is! See?"
"Of course," Alastor says in amusement, but Lucifer doesn't let the tone discourage him, and soon all of it can be seen.
It is truly a marvel. If Lucifer was rating it, he'd say it's maybe one of the top seven wonders. Built by a King for his wife—now that's romance—the Hanging Gardens are a massive complex of gardens built on elevated terraces.
The approach to the Gardens sloped like a hillside, and several parts of the structure rose from one another tier on tier. On all of this, the earth had been piled and was thickly planted with trees of every kind, surely charming any beholder. And while no one outside could see it, Lucifer was well aware of the feat of engineering this was for mortals, to be able to create an irrigation system that raised the water in enough abundance to keep all the plants thriving.
They stop at the entrance, looking up at the arched vaults and stone columns flowing with life.
"It is sufficiently impressive…for mere mortals," Alastor reluctantly says, and Lucifer takes that as good enough.
Obviously such a grand place isn't open to the general public, but Lucifer's alias isn't the wealthy one for nothing; gold coins are used to grease the gatekeeper's hands and suddenly background doesn't matter, and he and Alastor are gleefully allowed through.
The inside has little to no humans in sight. Had Lucifer known, he'd have tried coming here long before, instead of needing to wait until he had a companion.
Vaguely, Lucifer knows how it would normally look to invite someone to such a scenery, but he has perfectly non-romantic reasons for this excursion, so he doubts Alastor will mind.
…Even so, hopefully this never reaches Ozzie's ears.
And that's enough worrying; Lucifer's mind wanders off into observing the lush and colorful sights now open to him.
Lucifer never bothers keeping track of the days of the week, he doesn't work and his workers certainly don't have days off, so what does it matter? But now he thinks they luckily came here during a work day, as there are few humans around.
Still, Lucifer exerts some of his presence to a significant radius around them. Nothing much; but enough that any mortal will feel uncomfortable coming closer and will avoid the area.
Clearly sensing it, Alastor glances at him with an eyebrow raised.
Lucifer shrugs in response. "What? It's annoying if we have to be careful not to say some things, in case we're overheard."
Alastor nods in approval. "A sensible choice. Finally."
Lucifer ignores that last jab, but only because he catches sight of a particular tree and his focus is diverted.
It's a lovely thing, filled with small, delicate blue flowers on its branches.
Lucifer looks around and frowns. "Drat, why didn't the humans add, like, plaques to explain which one is which?"
Alastor walks up next to him. "It's a chaste tree."
"Thank you, it looks familiar. Oh wait, chaste tree ? Right, Hera was born underneath one and it's sacred to Demeter."
"You're correct on both counts."
"They're my sisters, it's only natural I know this."
"It would also be natural for you to be up to par with their lineage."
"Who says I'm not?"
"...It's an educated guess. Shall we bet on it?"
"Fuck no. I'm here to admire the view, not make bets over boring stuff," Lucifer dodges quickly, then goes back to looking around. "Oh, everlasting flower!" He puts his face up close but doesn't actually touch anything; anything from the mortal realm tends to be much too fragile. "This one I know too. Hm, beautiful, but every other temple gets decorated with it. Plus I think I saw them in the Elysium Fields. Pass, for now." Lucifer brings out a little parchment and begins writing down as he walks, Alastor in tow.
"Pass?"
"I'm considering what I want in the Underworld. Oh, and this one is…Ivy?"
"Indeed. Sacred to Dionysius."
"Hm, I guess if I only populate the Underworld with stuff not yet claimed, my choices might be limited. So let's leave ivy up for consideration." Lucifer pauses. "...I really should have brought over a scroll on plants. Humans love showcasing the name of things, I didn't expect them to not explain anything here."
"When in doubt, always expect failure and disappointment from lowly mortals, haha. However, I was assuming I was brought along for this purpose?"
"What? Of course not. You're here for company. I never considered using you as a guide, you're going to get frustrated fast."
"Nonsense! I have plenty of patience."
"...Did you leave it all behind before going to the Underworld?"
"Does that mean you don't want my guidance?"
Realizing he's the only one with something to lose here, Lucifer changes track quickly. "I'd love your help, O Knowledgeable Persephone. Ye of the Plentiful Patience. I thank you for your magnanimity."
"Hm, much better. Very well, I can hardly refuse when the God of the Underworld is groveling for my aid."
"I wouldn't quite say I gro—"
"Hm?"
"R-Right! Thanks for accepting. Anyway, err, what's this one then?"
"Larkspur. Sacred to—"
Apparently, Alastor had left his patience behind when he descended to the Underworld, because Lucifer begins pointing at most things that aren't just basic trees and shrubs, and Alastor answers easily, even detailing if it was sacred to anyone.
Or, perhaps, for all his grousing, Alastor does have a soft spot for all the beings under his domain.
They quickly fall into a routine. Lucifer points to a plant, Alastor gives him information, Lucifer then remarks on a grade he gives it and how likely he'll consider it or not.
It's great, he gets to enjoy Alastor's company under circumstances that aren't suspicious. He gets to finally see a place he hadn't been able to yet, even gets knowledge from a trusted source. And most of all, he has something to concentrate on that means he can avoid looking at Alastor's pretty human face.
In other words, this is perfect.
They eventually wander into a section made entirely out of flowerbeds, and Lucifer whistles in delight.
A sudden feeling of curiosity comes to him, and he turns to Alastor.
"Do you have any you really like? Apart from the narcissus, I mean."
"Hm, I find this one to look quite lovely." Alastor moves closer to where a clutch of flowers with black centers and striking red petals are. "Red anemone."
Alastor gently touches one, and Lucifer blinks, suddenly having difficulty looking at the flowers.
Because he's managed to see Alastor with an expression he hadn't yet; soft and gentle and fond.
And oh, Lucifer doesn't know if he regrets asking or pats himself in the back for it. Knowing Alastor can make this expression, but he's definitely not ever making it anywhere near Lucifer's face.
Lucifer has the sudden, irrational urge to jot red anemone as something prohibited from the Underworld.
No wait, he has a better idea.
"I think I'll add it to the Underworld," he says, and Alastor's attention is back to him.
"Oh, is that so?"
"Yeah, it is pretty, I think it'd be a good fit." And you'd have a reason to make that face again . "Anything else?"
"Hm, ah, here, this one. This is—"
"Ha, aconyte?" Lucifer chuckles. "I'm guessing you like that one less for its looks and more for its lethal properties?"
"What's wrong in appreciating a flower that can be beautiful and useful? That said, I'm surprised you know this one well."
"Yes, well, good news is, this one is absolutely going to…haha… spring up…in the Underworld without much effort."
"Because of its toxicity?"
"No, because it came from Cerberus' saliva to begin with."
"...Indeed? I was unaware of that fact."
"It's not a well known tale. So, some dumb bitch called Eurystheus, thought it'd be funny to show off by trying to take him out of the Underworld—"
He moves around, glancing at the flowers but animatedly regaling Alastor with a colorful account of the story. He doesn't even have to be worried about language since Alastor has no such sensibilities.
"—So Cerberus came back on his own. I'd have given Eurystheus a 'talking' to, if you know what I mean, but Hera asked me not to. It's how I got access to her garden, by the way. Hopefully the asshole learns a lesson and doesn't try to get someone to do it in his stead—oh, this one has a nice smell. Is this mint?"
"You were too lax with compensation, if entrance to her garden is all you demanded. And yes, that is indeed mint."
"C'mon, her gardens are gorgeous. And beating up one king isn't a big deal, so I think that was fair. Mint isn't associated with any God, right?"
"Correct, it is not."
"Huh, I like it, maybe we should have a few. Plus I could harvest it to add some flavor for—"
"I've had enough . Cease your inane prattling!"
Lucifer freezes, immediately deflating. He should have known Alastor wasn't actually happy to be relegated to his naming guide, much less listening to his long winded tale. He should have paid attention and noticed his distaste, yet he'd been so focused elsewhere, he could have sworn Alastor's tone had been gentle…
He turns to look at Alastor and finds a strange sight. For one, Alastor is glaring but not at him, and his shadow—who up until now had been behaving like a normal one—was instead happily smiling in the same direction and giving a thumbs up. Finally, Alastor glances at Lucifer and, seeing his expression, scoffs.
"Not you . I was talking to them ," Alastor bites out, making a sweeping gesture towards the foliage around them.
For one moment, Lucifer thinks Alastor might have truly lost it. And then he remembers.
Oh. Right. Alastor can talk to flowers , Lucifer had completely forgotten that little tidbit.
Too relieved, Lucifer says sheepishly, "But, I'm sure I was being a nuisance too."
"When you become one, rest assured I will tell you."
Funny enough that does reassure him. Feeling better, Lucifer realizes Alastor is still glaring at some particular flowers.
"But to do that," Alastor barks out, clearly not speaking to Lucifer anymore, "I would first have to be able to listen . Which I cannot, when fatuous and unfounded gossip is drowning it out."
And suddenly, Lucifer feels bad again, but for wholly different reasons. "Wait, have they been over—" No, Alastor is going to turn his attitude towards him if Lucifer so much as suggests he's been overwhelmed. " Swamping you with noise since the start? Why didn't you tell me this was unpleasant for you?"
"Because it wasn't unpleasant," Alastor snaps at him and then, maybe realizing he's going for the wrong metaphorical throat, tries to get his bearings back, speaking in a softer tone. "I'm used to such cacophony, and they're not overly loud. Think of it like moving through a crowded mortal street. The issue here, however, was the sudden drop in quality of the tittle-tattle. Which, haha, was already bottom of the barrel to begin with!"
Before Lucifer can say anything else, Alastor's hackles rise again, his smile practically a snarl, as he zeroes in on a point just next to Lucifer.
" Excuse me?! "
Lucifer wisely moves to the side, and notices Alastor's incessed gaze is at…the mint Lucifer had just been admiring.
"Ha! You think yourself a harridan? You truly think that you, a thing so pathetically lowly you are even beneath the most inferior mortal, are in competition with—"
Whatever the flower is saying, Alastor is losing his shit so much it shuts him up and leaves him flushed, no doubt in anger.
Funnily enough, the shadow creature that had seemingly been on a different page before, is now in sync with his mood, snarling and giving the flower not one, but two middle fingers.
And then, just as suddenly, the ire is gone. Or so Alastor wants it to seem like; he straightens up, loosens his shoulders and smiles brightly, but Lucifer can see the dangerous glint in his eyes.
"Well now," he says, dangerously cheery, and Lucifer starts to worry. "If that is your wish, far be it for me to get in the way. In fact, let me help you be with him."
Be with whom? What? Before Lucifer can ask, Alastor surges forward and grabs the offending mint.
He could have cut it cleanly and easily with his claws—no matter how soft the human disguise makes his nails seem—but instead he grabs it by the stem and roughly twists it to and fro until it breaks violently.
There is a wicked gleam in his eyes as he turns to look at Lucifer.
"Lucifer," he purrs dangerously and oh boy, is it doing things to Lucifer. "You enjoyed the sight of this flower, did you not? So, here you go!"
"Wha—"
Alastor doesn't wait for his reply, he comes closer and grabs Lucifer's wrist, roughly placing the flower in his open palm then closing Lucifer's fingers around it.
Lucifer blinks down at the contact, but mostly at the flower itself. Even he knows being cut from the roots won't immediately kill off a flower. However, whatever little chance it had to survive, it lost it the moment it reached Lucifer's grasp. Divine plants were one thing, but something as weak as a mortal flower had no chance against Lucifer's divinity, and it withered all too quickly.
Ah.
Well…Lucifer could withdraw and shift his power so that the flower wasn't affected but…he doesn't want Alastor's wrath to turn his way. So, sorry, mint, no idea what the fuck you said, but maybe it's more merciful to die quickly than let Alastor think of something else for you.
"And if you would like more, why, I'm sure there are a few more chatterboxes here I can give you!" The words drip with menace. "Who should I pick for you next…"
"Thank you for the gift," Lucifer says sarcastically, mildly amused. Trust Alastor to turn the action of gifting someone a flower from an objectively sweet, if not romantic, gesture to an eerie display of cruelty.
Oh well, fuck it, Lucifer received a flower from Alastor. This might be the closest he'll get to something like that from him.
"So," he tucks the withered flower into his robes. "What were they saying that was so bad?"
Apparently, that is the wrong question to ask.
" It doesn't matter! " Alastor says, again so vexed his face begins flushing. "Never you mind such details! The drivel that comes from such measly things does not bear repeating!" He grabs Lucifer by the shoulder and half drags him away, as if physical distance would help him forget.
Instead, his dramatic reaction piques Lucifer's curiosity more than anything, and he's considering what he can offer in exchange for the gossip, when they find themselves in another garden area.
"Come now," Alastor coaches, "don't you want to know about foliage to spruce up the Underworld?"
The attempt to change the subject is ridiculously blatant, but Lucifer is willing to go along with it. After all, Alastor being nice and helpful trumps him being a dramatic bitch at any moment, and Lucifer doesn't think he'll ever find out what was said without souring the mood.
Besides, it's not as if flowers would have said anything that interesting. Maybe they were just as horny as the humans and had been making sex jokes at each other. And Alastor, the prude, was disgusted. Right, that tracks.
Giving up on it, Lucifer points to another tree, and Alastor eagerly goes back to his role of guide.
But soon Lucifer finds his interest dwindling, and he sighs.
"What is it?" Alastor asks.
"Ah, it's just, the stuff we're seeing now is more and more of a repeat of what we've already gone through. I mean, if this was just sightseeing that's fine, but since I wanted research for the Underworld, I was hoping to find something more. Something that called out to me, or something."
He pauses for Alastor's ridicule, but instead he seems to be reflecting.
"Hm, you were hoping to find a flower that'd become sacred to you, perhaps."
"...Yeah, silly, isn't it? I should be thankful I even have the pomegranates."
"Why would it be, it is normal for Gods to have a plant that is tied to them."
"Yeah, well, but seeing as my domain is the Underworld…"
Now Alastor scoffs. "Nonsense. Zeus' domain is the sky, and yet he has a flower."
"Only because it sprouted after he threw down a thunderbolt in a jealous hissy fit."
"True, but why don't you try doing something similar?"
"Uh, I did, remember? I tried blood, among other things, before managing to grow the pomegranates. But that cost me a fucking eye."
"In the Underworld, where nothing could grow. But have you ever tried in other realms?"
"Why would I, if I can't bring the flowers back with me...oh."
He blinks, understanding dawning.
"...Except now I can bring anything I create down there!"
"Indeed. So, what are you waiting for?"
Lucifer doesn't even waste time responding. Instead he rushes to the nearest patch of available soil.
He places his palm over it, and gets ready to make a cut, when Alastor grabs it.
Wow, he's been touching me a lot today , Lucifer thinks, directly followed by, wow, I'm acting a bit too desperate.
Thankfully unaware of his thoughts, Alastor explains. "One moment! If you simply let your ichor fall, it is more likely to cause damage to the surrounding area than to sprout something. Concentrate on the results you desire before making the cut."
Huh, that's a sensible fact, his ichor is too potent, and focused on death.
Actually…
"Thank you, Alastor," he says sincerely, "but I think you made me realize there's an even better alternative."
He's not exactly in a hurry for Alastor to stop touching him, but the hand over his is already gone. With that, Lucifer moves away from the soil again.
"Anything on me right now is too steeped in my divinity to do much good. But I have something stored up that might just be ideal for it. I'll check it out later, or tomorrow."
"Hm, that might be wiser, given the weather."
"What?"
Lucifer gives his first glance at the sky since he'd entered the Gardens. The sky above is overcast and heavy, signaling rain at any moment.
Not that Gods have to worry about sickness, but getting drenched is still unpleasant, especially if they have to walk all the way back drenched.
"Let's look for cover," Lucifer says, sighing. "Hopefully this is a quick shower."
"We passed by a covered alcove earlier, follow me."
They find it just as the first drops start to fall. It's pretty small; nothing beyond a very short exedra, and some flowers painted into the wall behind it. It's clearly made with one human in mind, but since he and Alastor are pretty slim, both are able to sit, albeit shoulders touching.
Rain is another thing Lucifer never gets in the Underworld. And given the mortals jokingly call it "Zeus peeing"...that might be for the best.
Still, it makes for a pleasant experience, now. The smell of the drenched plants is pleasant, with the raindrops making for a consistent, soothing sound. And Alastor doesn't try to break the silence with chatter, seemingly fine with simply sitting beside him to wait it out without complaint.
"Thank you for accompanying me," he says softly at some point.
"You're welcome. However, in the future, refrain from thanking someone for providing them a pleasant experience."
Translation: thank you for bringing me here . Lucifer's heart swells.
"Why did you only come here now?" Alastor prods.
Lucifer shrugs. "It seemed a little too pathetic to come alone, you know?"
"No, I don't. If you do not care about how the humans construct your temples, why do you care how they think of you in other matters?"
"It's not that I care how they look at me. It's just…my own company isn't as fun. Ha, you should consider yourself flattered."
"Why? You'd have brought anyone else available along, I was invited simply because I was the one nearby with a reason to agree when you thought of doing this. The problem is that you devalue yourself too much. Were you terrible company, I'd surely not—"
Alastor freezes. Lucifer turns to question him, when lightning, followed by thunder temporarily distracts him.
"Ugh, now it's a damn storm. I blame Adam. Anyway, you were saying?"
"...Were you terrible company, I'd surely have cut this quaint jaunt short long ago."
Oh. Trying to not flush, Lucifer ducks his head and realizes something wrong with what Alastor had said before.
"You're wrong, though."
"About what?"
"I wouldn't have invited any random God in front of me to accompany me. I mean, I could have sent Bee or Ozzie or a few other people an invite at any moment, but it never felt like this sort of thing would be fun with them. Ah, and I don't mean that just because you're the God of Spring!"
Realizing he's starting to say too much, Lucifer shuts his mouth before he can accidentally admit he's smitten.
Alastor seems about to say something, but then his head snaps away, and he glares in another direction.
"It looks like you're in for a whole bouquet of flowers," he hisses. He's flushed with anger again.
Lucifer chuckles. "Really, what are they—"
Another flash of thunder stops him, it seems too close. Worse, the wind and rain have picked up, and they're no longer safe from being drenched despite the roof over them.
Cursing Zeus, Lucifer pulls at Alastor's robes. "C'mon, there should be a temple nearby where we can wait this out. I'd rather not be caught by a stray thunderbolt and have to deal with that guy."
They're not doing anything wrong, and why would Zeus even be glancing over at Babylon? But even so, he'd rather avoid any chance of contact.
Alastor frowns. "While I agree with the sentiment, I would rather we not traipse around like drowned rats in search of a place. Do you know where to go?"
"Err…no."
"Hm. Oh?" Alastor cocks his head and turns sideways, clearly hearing something Lucifer cannot. "The flowers are saying there is a temple nearby, and have given me directions."
"You trust them?" Alastor had just murdered one of their own. Granted, humans did that all the time, but he'd done it maliciously and Lucifer couldn't imagine these things being very willing to help him out now.
"They can't lie to me. They can be woefully wrong , which they very much were , earlier—"
Phanes, the fuck had they been saying?
"But they cannot lie to me. Given the precision of the directions, I don't think they are mistaken. Besides, we have no other recourse."
"Well then, lead the way, lad!" Lucifer jokes, and Alastor gives him a withering look at the form of address.
The temple is only two streets over and even that is enough to drench them thoroughly. At least Babylon is at the stage of paved streets, so they're not trekking mud. Then again, with how Alastor is, perhaps he wouldn't have agreed to move if it wasn't so.
Seeing their destination, Lucifer lets out a sigh of relief; it's large, almost an imposing size, and looks clearly well maintained.
"Huh, turns out they gave you good information," Lucifer says, stepping inside and looking down to wring water out of his robes.
Alastor makes a motion on the top of his head—likely trying to run a hand through ears that are no longer there—before stopping and smiling proudly.
"I told you, they cannot lie to me. Now, let's us make use of this until—"
Alastor stops and makes a weird noise at the back of his throat as he looks towards the interior of the temple.
"I hope you had your fill of the Gardens, Lucifer, because I will go back there and decimate it down to dust so fine, future generations will think it was but a myth."
Notes
Lucifer finally glances at the interior of the temple, half expecting some sort of orgy, what with the way Alastor is reacting—
And realizes how improbable that is. Sure, mortals can get as horny as the Gods—which is impressive given the limitation of their bodies—but that doesn't mean they're going to go all out in the open. Any of that sort of, ahem, group activity is likely going to be confined to some sort of special chamber and such. Not that Lucifer is an expert; his temples are all about depressing shit like sacrifices and not any of the fun stuff.
Sure enough, he doesn't see an orgy when he looks inside. The few stragglers are perfectly dressed but…
Ah, Lucifer sees the issue.
The walls are covered in depictions of various sexual acts, interspersed with lion motifs. Meanwhile, the followers, while not going all out, are clearly a bit more frisky than normal. At least 'normal' for Lucifer's depressing temple atmosphere, granted.
One human notices them and smiles politely, before making his way over.
Really, Alastor is being way too uptight, the flowers have no reason to be punished for this.
"Hello there, it seems we have some new faces here," the approaching human says with a perfectly sincere smile.
"Yes, we were just passing through and got caught by the rain," Lucifer explains.
"Not a problem. We welcome all new couples."
"Oh, we're not…we're just friends," Lucifer corrects him.
"I see." Somehow, that information delights the mortal.
And Lucifer figures out why, when the asshole immediately starts leering at Alastor.
"Why not come inside with me?" the mortal offers, making eyes solely at Alastor.
You know what? Fuck those flowers that sent them here.
"Thanks, pal," Lucifer says, tone making it clear he's neither thankful nor sees the man as his pal. "But I think we're fine just staying here until the storm passes."
The bastard barely gives him a glance before speaking to Alastor again. "Come now, I can help warm you up…"
Alastor looks like he is about to kill the man, and Lucifer would have let him—even lend him a knife—if not for the fact that murdering some other God's follower in their temple will land them in so much shit.
See? Lucifer can do politics just fine.
"Listen here sonny," Lucifer says, and grabs at him before the fool can try touching Alastor and thus lose his hand to whichever of the two Gods is faster. "How about this? Here's a silver coin for your deity." Lucifer takes one out, and finally the asshole is fully paying attention to him. "And here is a second silver coin. This one can be yours…if you keep yourself and every other fucker in there away from us. And trust me, if any of them come to annoy us, I will tell them I gave you two silver coins as tribute and you kept one."
"Say no more, you will be unperturbed," the human promises, hastily grabbing the coin and leaving.
When he's gone far enough, Alastor turns to him, clearly disappointed.
"You didn't need to debase yourself by scurrying to please a mortal. You could have simply let your divinity flow like you had done earlier in the Gardens, and have them too fearful to approach."
Lucifer snorts, pleased he's thought of something Alastor hadn't. "If I did that, I might alert the God or Goddess this temple is dedicated to. Which, given all the lion motifs, must be…what's her name…Innana or Ishtar I think? Anyway, it's a Goddess that embodies War and Love, which means a toss up between Ozzie or Satan, but since this temple seems to be dedicated to her love aspect, it's Ozzie. Do you want him to come down here?"
Ozzie would certainly have the time of his life, finding out why they were here together. There is no way the logical explanation for this outing, that was in no way romantic, would get through to him.
Alastor likely has come to the same conclusion. "I suppose you did the best you could," he concedes, looking like he's just sucked a lime.
They sit on the last step, off to the side. The same storm that put them there at least guarantees no new humans will try to enter or exit the temple, so they're not perturbed any longer.
Lucifer looks at the downpour and relaxes. Loud noises and flashes don't bother him, and while he knows most would be bothered by the deluge, he enjoys it.
Violent weather is still a sign of life; a sign that the cycle of it exists and is moving. He's heard a few Gods joke that he's lucky the Underworld never has bad weather, but where's the beauty in the stillness of something beyond death? The storm is such a reflection of life, Lucifer can only admire it.
"This isn't so bad," he admits.
Alastor hums in agreement. "There is beauty to the harsh weather. And its results."
Now it's Lucifer's turn to hum back, and soon they fall into companionable silence again.
*
It gets worse. The wind howls too strongly, occasionally spraying them with uncomfortably cold water despite their location. Worse, the lighting strikes increase, getting uncomfortably close.
"I think it's best we venture inside," Alastor concedes first. "The thought of sitting in a disagreeable situation simply to avoid some promiscuous mortals is far too ridiculous to entertain."
Well, Lucifer can hardly disagree. Plus, he has more coins he can throw at anyone thinking they can have a chance with Alastor.
They finally walk inside, past the cube shaped pillars that were key features in Babylonian architecture.
None of the mortals are there, which is great, and not too surprising; they likely walked towards where the statue of Ishtar is, or even beyond that. That, or they went to one of the many side chambers these temples usually have. Even if this one isn't large enough to be a ziggurat, there's enough space and entrances that they might not even meet anyone for a while. Good.
Out of curiosity though, Lucifer walks a bit further until he turns the corner of the bent axis shaped corridor and, sure enough, there is the cult idol. And not at all shabby either; tall and seemingly well maintained, with a few stragglers underneath, likely praying.
Satisfied, Lucifer goes back to Alastor, who is examining a seat as if to decide if it is worthy of him using it.
"Hey, I think we'll be unbothered—"
Lucifer jolts as a side chamber door blasts open somewhere behind him.
"Welp, thanks for the fun, but I gotta run, babe."
And his brain goes into overdrive.
Because he recognizes that irritating voice, and it's fucking Adam .
Adam is fucking another deity's follower inside her own temple—which, okay, tracks for him.
Adam went all the way to Babylonia for a quick fuck? Okay, that also tracks, maybe he's hoping a bit of distance means his wife won't find out too soon.
No wonder there's a storm raging around them, it's because this bastard was right here.
Fuck, Lucifer is personally destroying the Hanging Gardens himself.
Fuck, the footsteps are coming closer.
Wait, it's fine, he and Alastor are in human disguises.
Wait, it's not fucking fine! While Alastor might look decently different as a mortal, Lucifer looks pretty much the same.
Adam is absolutely going to recognize him and Lucifer will have to fucking explain why he's in a Temple of Love with someone. And no way is he going to believe this is a mere coincidence caused by his own storm.
Okay, so what? Lucifer isn't married, he can fuck whoever he wants wherever he feels like it. And Alastor is likewise single.
…But is Alastor going to forgive him if it spreads all over the pantheon that Lucifer dragged him to a temple to secretly fuck him in human disguises?
Shit. Fuck. Fucking shit .
The steps are now too close. With no time to waste or explain, Lucifer rushes into Alastor and hugs him. The force of it, and likely Alastor's utter surprise, has them both toppling backwards, into the seating, with Lucifer now straddling him.
Alastor makes a sound on the back of his throat akin to gurgling. Rather than risk explaining and have his voice heard, Lucifer buries his head between Alastor's shoulder and neck.
"What," Alastor chokes out, "the fuck are you—"
"Heeeey there you pretty—oh, you're a dude, fucking bummer," comes Adam's bitch voice.
Thankfully Alastor is quick on the uptake. His head snaps to the source of the voice, and his body becomes rigid.
Then, after a beat, he shifts his body while one hand grabs Lucifer by the waist, and the other grasps at the back of his head. It helps secure Lucifer in place while better hiding his face, but hopefully to an audience, just looks like a possessive gesture.
And Lucifer is for once glad at their height difference making this position even viable. Had they been closer in height, the only way for Lucifer to effectively hide his face would have been by getting on his knees and shoving it between Alastor's legs—
Argh, don't produce that mental image now!
Thankfully Adam's voice is more effective than a bucket of ice water.
"Ooh, who's that babe you're hiding there? Come now, if you didn't want anyone joining in, you wouldn't be half fucking out here."
"Apologies, he has become a tad shy," Alastor replies smoothly, and Lucifer notices the small inflection he adds to the gender.
So does Adam, it seems, because Lucifer hears him click his tongue in annoyance before saying, "Ugh, just my luck. Why don't I find two sexy babes making out instead. Ugh, now my dick is all limp. Fuck this, I'mma peace out."
Never has Lucifer been so thankful for Adam's interest to be in women only. Had he had even a shred of curiosity, they'd be fucked. And had Adam attempted to probe them with his powers, he'd have sensed their divinity and they'd also be fucked.
In a way, of the few acquaintances Lucifer has, Adam is truly the ideal one to be within a few meters of him and yet not pay attention enough to recognize him.
Lucifer strains his hearing, but he doesn't even have to: the moment Adam is gone, the sound of the storm passes.
He jumps back and moves away until he's backed into the opposite wall. Hands up already.
"That was—"
Alastor is already standing up and adjusting his robes, not looking at him.
"I understand why you did that; your mortal face is hardly that different from your normal one. Perhaps this will be a valuable lesson in creating an actual disguise for yourself next time. Now let's go, else I may become inclined to set the premises on fire."
*
They trudge back to the forest in awkward silence. Lucifer can all but sense Alastor smoldering inside, no doubt in disgust.
"...Sorry about that," Lucifer says with a sigh.
Alastor stops walking and turns to look at him for a moment, then also sighs, the tension in his shoulders dissipating.
"While that end was quite lamentable, overall this sojourn was surprisingly pleasant despite involving the mortal realm."
Relieved, Lucifer chuckles. "I'm glad you liked it. And I promise, from now on I'll wear a disguise so good, my own parents wouldn't recognize me."
*
"Hey, before you settle in, want to test if I can create a flower?" Lucifer asks the moment they're back inside.
"Certainly."
Making a portal from inside his palace to right outside the gates has always been the easiest thing. With a flick of his wrist, there's a few of his old fallen feathers in his hands. And with a snap of his fingers, Lucifer takes them both outside the Dawn Gate.
"Alright, these feathers are mine, but they've been removed from my divinity long enough that that shouldn't interfere."
"That makes sense."
Satisfied, Lucifer crouches on the ground and buries the feather.
He waits with bated breath…
Nothing happens.
He waits some more, breathing now normal.
Nope, still nothing.
"Fuck."
"Hold on now, your feathers have been away from your body for a while. Let's see if this one needs some encouragement to come out."
Alastor doesn't crouch, but the butt of his cane hits right on top of where Lucifer had buried the feather, and Lucifer sees Alastor's power curling and twisting itself from his hands, down the cane and into the soil.
"Hmm," Alastor says contemplatively, before smiling wider in triumph. "Ha, I was correct. It needed some minor guidance to understand what it needed to do."
"You mean…?!"
"See it for yourself, it's coming up now."
Alastor moves away, and sure enough, something is sprouting.
Lucifer tries to temper his excitement as it grows, but he can't. Hopping from one foot to the other, he watches it grow faster than any plant should—perhaps that was the aid Alastor had given—and continue to grow…
It stops rising at about a meter high, and then the top becomes filled with white buds.
Lucifer blinks. Surely not all of them are flowers?
But it turns out that yes, they all are, and soon they bloom into six petaled flowers. Pure white, save for a dark yellow line going from tip to bottom in each one.
It's…
"It's perfect," Lucifer chokes out, eyes watery.
Yes, it's not something vibrant; the white is ghostly if not ash like. However…it fits the Underworld and him more than some pretty but colorful ones would have. To have his domain on a pretty flower is more than good enough.
"Quite austere," Alastor says, with a tone that implies this is high praise coming from him.
Honestly, he could have insulted it and Lucifer wouldn't have minded. In fact…
Fuck it.
Before his brain can process and decide this is a bad idea, Lucifer moves and hugs Alastor.
He feels him stiffen immediately. Then slowly, almost hesitatingly, Alastor's hands move up towards Lucifer's shoulders.
No doubt about to get pushed away, Lucifer doesn't push—haha—his luck any further and quickly stops, putting distance between them again.
And has to nearly bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing at how stiff and wide-eyed Alastor looks.
"Thank you, none of this would have been possible without you."
The compliment melts Alastor back to his usually relaxed posture and, ever humble, smiles hauntingly and says, "You're quite welcome."
He doesn't say 'but never do that again' which is a pleasant surprise, and Lucifer again goes back to focusing on the flower.
"So, is it something new or…?"
"Hm, this seems to be the Asphodelus genus—"
"Oh, that's fine, I don't care that it already existed—"
" Let me finish . And while the genus exists and has fifteen species under it, a white strain is unheard of. So congratulations, Lucifer, you have created your own unique flower; the white asphodel."
"Asphodel," Lucifer tries the name on his tongue. "It's beautiful, I think I want a whole meadow of it."
"Hm, for once you have good taste. Indicate where and it shall be done."
*
That night, Lucifer contendly slips inside his bedsheets and awaits sleep. The memory of flowers, trees, gardens, Alastor—oops erase that please—some more flowers, Alastor's lap— definitely erase that —and the asphodel, all lull him to sleep. Eventually.
*
As he comes to, Alastor can feel a presence near him.
Opening one bleary eye, he comes face to face with…Lucifer, in cat form.
"What are you doing in my bed again, Lucifer?" he asks, tone devoid of the affront he'll no doubt feel when he's more awake.
"Mreow?"
"Do you think I'll allow it just because you look c— pitiful like this?"
"Mreow?"
Before Alastor can muster anything else, he is finally awake enough to recall that he's seen this creature before.
He quickly sits up. "You are not Lucifer," he says.
The lamentable thing completely misses the threat in his tone, and instead comes closer and purrs as it rubs his head on Alastor's stomach.
"..."
Well, it would be beneath him to fight such a weak, unintelligent thing.
"You had a companion, did you not? Where is it?" Looking around, there was nothing else in his room that shouldn't be there.
And then a screech comes from outside.
" What the fuck?? " Lucifer screams from the direction of his bedroom.
Alastor smiles brightly. "I suppose that answers that question."
*
After the nightmarish awakening that was opening his eyes and seeing Catalastor's—Alastor can't read minds, so he won't know Lucifer is still calling it that—creepy face, Lucifer finds it a little harder to eat breakfast. Compounded by the fact that Alastor is too cheery right now.
"Are you having fun at my expense?" he asks.
"Nonsense!" Alastor fails to even look affronted at the accusation. "I simply awoke in a good mood. Besides, why are you so upset?"
"What do you mean, why? I literally woke up to—" Lucifer grabs Catalastor from where it had been trying to pierce his sandals with its teeth. "—this! How can I not be upset?"
Catalastor blinks one eye then the other, then uses a too long tongue to somehow reach the food on Lucifer's platter and eat it.
"Hey!" Lucifer puts it in the ground again.
"Well, that is certainly surprising, since you were the one who didn't allow me to get rid of them."
Glancing at the two cat things, Lucifer sees Catlastor throw up a mess of half regurgitated food. Before he can holler about his now dirty floor, Luci walks up and begins eating half of it.
Aww, he's sharing it. That's fucking disgusting, but cute too, Lucifer thinks, easily mollified.
"Killing them is too much," he says hastily. "However!" He turns to the cats again, wagging a finger in their faces. "You two…are forbidden from entering my bedroom! And any other room outside this floor!"
There, that should cover that.
Catalastor looks at Lucifer's finger, pointing at them…and bites it.
"Fuck!"
*
After a bothersome beginning, Lucifer drags Alastor out of his palace so he doesn't have to deal with the cats. Well, Luci is fine, it's the other one that he can't handle.
"Alright, let's do some more sprucing up today," Lucifer says, already brightening up at the thought.
"I assume we'll be doing the Asphodel Meadows today."
"Actually, not quite yet," Lucifer says haltingly.
"Oh?"
"Those flowers are a representation of the Underworld. I tried thinking it over, but to me the most appropriate place for them is in the main part of my domain."
"Where the deceased reside."
"Yeah."
"They will trample with undeserving feet on your beloved flower."
"I know. But…it still feels like it fits."
"... Well, let's get to other areas first, and you can reflect some more on the proper placement."
There is little drama to it, after that. Lucifer takes Alastor back near Hypno's cave and has him do that area, this time allowing the domain to create what it pleases.
Sure enough, poppies are the most abundant result, speckled with some other species here and there. As they grow closer to the gates leading to Nyx's land, however, the quantity of poppies decreases and there's more balance between roses, lilies, poppies and dark flowers, alongside some trees.
"I'm sure Nyx and Erebos will be pleased," Lucifer says with a contented sigh as he looks over the newest results.
"Certainly," Alastor says, eyes looking glassy and his frame a little wobbly.
Cursing at not having paid attention before, Lucifer turns to him. "Shit, you okay?"
"I'm fine. This is like the other day. The sensation is intense, perhaps even more so. Still, it's not debilitating or…or unpleasant."
Trying not to think about that 'more intense than before' part, Lucifer quickly tries to change the subject. "Great then! Err, any juice left?"
"Hm, yes, sufficient for a small area."
"What about a small area that you change from afar?"
"...Susan?"
"Yeah…"
Alastor hesitates, then reluctantly admits, "I fear given the distance necessary so her squawking doesn't reach us will be quite long."
"That's fair. What if I hand you more ichor? A drop of two?"
"I think that would suffice, yes."
Nodding, Lucifer takes out a goblet—then stops as he realizes how silly it is to use that for a few drops. Should he instead prick his finger or something?
Alastor clearly sees his uncertainty, because he makes a noise and offers his hand out. "May I have the honor?"
There's a light tone of what Lucifer has no doubt is mockery to that question, but even so he decides to go along with what Alastor is planning, and places his hand over his waiting palm.
"No tearing off my flesh as a side dish," Lucifer jokes.
"Pity," Alastor retorts, not looking actually put out by it.
He pulls Lucifer's hands up towards his face and—
Lucifer freezes, goosebumps going through his body as he feels Alastor's lips land softly on his knuckles.
And then, mercifully, he feels a tiny pinprick of teeth breaking his flesh.
The discomfort brings out no little amount of relief; that means they're past the part that felt worryingly like a kiss.
…Only for the relief to scram into another realm altogether when he feels the hint of a tongue before Alastor gently, too fucking gently, sucks out his blood.
For once, Lucifer is quite glad the ichor is, ahem, pooling downwards since that means it won't show on his face.
Mercifully, Alastor lets go quickly enough, since the exchange only required minimal intake. Still, Lucifer sees the struggle to let go that Alastor tries to hide. Thinking it best to help stop his addict tendencies, he quickly wrings his hands behind his back and steps back, as if to give Alastor space to do his thing.
Alastor takes to focusing, pushing their combined powers down once again, only this time, rather than spread out around them, Lucifer can track the direction that Alastor is sending his powers by the line of flowers and grass that sprout as his divinity moves on.
Lucifer spreads his wings and goes up to the sky to witness the line reach near the Memory pool, then split and branch out so that its surrounding area is carpeted with life.
He observes it for a minute then, satisfied, lands next to Alastor again.
Since the effort was lesser, Alastor is clearly not feeling the effects of the intertwined divinity as much now, and in fact is looking normal and observing a plant beneath his feet.
Lucifer glances at it. It's a cactus, but with a beautiful rich magenta flower on it.
"Oh, nice, what is it?"
"Echinopsis. A species of cacti. However…this type is new, and a hybrid. It seems we've created Susan's sacred flower."
"...Is Susan prettier than me?"
"...Excuse me?"
"Is she??"
"While they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder…I can't imagine anyone claiming she looks better than you, unless they are under duress or blind. No, even blind people wouldn't pick her."
"Then why is her flower prettier than mine!?"
"..."
"It's not fair!" Lucifer wails. He could accept that his own sacred flower isn't colorful…but that bitch Susan having a prettier flower than him? That is unacceptable.
"...Get a hold of yourself, man! The flowers in the Gardens yesterday are sounding saner than you right now!"
"I don't care!"
"Yours is majestic , whereas while her is a vivid color, it's still a small, prickly cactus."
"...I suppose."
Alastor makes a show of rolling his eyes.
"Come, or do you wish to stay here and wait for Susan to come bitch about this, somehow?"
"One portal, coming right up!"
"Fucking finally."
*
Meltdown aside, it's been a pretty productive day, all things considered.
Perhaps too much so, since he'll need to figure out what to do with the hours remaining, lest Alastor bring up sharing the baths again.
Lucifer is definitely not in the right mindset today either, not after Alastor did that thing with his hand. What was that about, anyway? Probably him mocking the kiss in the hand gesture, turning it from a sign of respect to a sordid 'win' as he took his prized ichor. Yeah, that tracks.
Even so, just because Alastor meant nothing by it, it didn't mean Lucifer wasn't responding to it.
Ugh, the whole ichor drinking keeps pulling the proverbial rug from under him. If only it'd been the other way round.
Actually…
"I wonder what happens if I drink your ichor," Lucifer says out loud.
Alastor is already away, one hand opening his door, but he hears just fine, halts, and swivels back to face Lucifer.
"Pardon?"
The tone is inquisitive and not accusatory, but Lucifer is already putting his hands up in a placating gesture just in case.
"I'm not suggesting we amend the deal or anything. I'm just curious, you know? Would I also be able to create life if I drank your ichor? Again," Lucifer says hastily, "it's purely for science. Even if I can, the terms of our deal will remain the same."
Alastor seems to believe him, since he looks pensive instead of put off.
"That is an interesting question, I suppose. Certainly, one of its effects won't occur for you." He clearly means the boost in divinity, but refuses to spell it out. "But as for the ability to create…it is a likely consequence."
"...Aren't you, uh, curious to find out?"
"Given the answer is useless to me…why would I?"
"Oh, c'mon! Surely knowing if your enemy has as much to gain from your ichor as you have from theirs is useful."
"Haha, not really, is it? I'm no longer allowed to consume ichor, don't you recall? Besides, even if I was , I am not such a fool as to allow the God to survive the ordeal."
Lucifer curses inwardly, but gives up. "Fine, fine, it was just a passing thought, anyway."
"Is that so? Pity, since I never refused…"
"What? You just—"
"I said it was of no interest to me , not that I was unwilling to aid you in your experiment. For a price, of course."
Ah, okay, Lucifer is used to dealing with him by this point. "A fifth of a cup of my ichor for a full cup of yours?"
He hopes Alastor won't refuse; they can dance around the issue all day, but the fact remains Lucifer won't get much—if any—boost from Alastor, unlike the contrary.
"A quarter."
Eh, that's definitely overly unfair, as even a tenth of Lucifer's ichor is more potent than a cup of Alastor's, but this is good enough. "Deal. So, err, when do you feel like…?"
"Might as well do it now, since it's still early. So, where to for this little experiment?"
The entrance to his palace, as it were. It's still bare, and the closest to the soil they get from where they are.
"I don't mean to cause undue worry," Alastor says evenly, in a tone that says he very much hopes to do so, "but have you been securing the perimeter whenever we do this? I would rather the Oceanids not catch wind of this exchange."
Now it's Lucifer's turn to look smug. That's twice in a single day, he's on a roll! "You only thought of that now ? Heh, fret not, I got that covered ages ago. I had my minions tell every single one of those bitches that whenever we go out, I better not even sense them, much less see them anywhere close to us. Ironically, thanks to what they did to you, I didn't even have to come up with an excuse as to why. So yes, I did consider interlopers, and no, there haven't been any the last few times, and there won't be any now. They sure as fuck never dared to come close enough to see the entrance to my abode without permission, even before you arrived."
Alastor's expression is comical as his face fights between the relief that there's no risk of discovery, and the annoyance that he took this long to think of it and Lucifer beat him to the punch.
"Very well, then," he finally says when he manages to school it again. "Let's begin." He's already rolling up his robes. The fact that he now easily shows Lucifer his scarred upper arms doesn't go unnoticed.
Lucifer produces a cup—a shiny, gold one inlaid with precious gems, so the prick can't get bitchy about quality.
Despite that, Alastor still frowns at it. "Don't be foolish, how long will it take to fill that, unless I make a serious wound on myself?"
Shit, he has a point. It took Lucifer an hour to do it on himself.
"Okay, do you want to go back inside and we do this when you've drawn enough?"
Alastor looks like Lucifer is making a fool of himself again. "Why waste so much time? I'm sure you have a general gist of how many gulps fill a cup. Just pull straight from the source—"
" No ."
"Don't be—"
"No. Shut it. This is not up for discussion. What if it's addictive? Remember how you nearly lost reason drinking mine that one time? And you're not new to this. I know you have eclectic tastes and maybe you got excited both because you like it and you were weakened, but if there's even a minor chance that I lose reason…look, no offense, but I am the God of the Underworld. If I decide to drink you dry, you can't stop me. "
Alastor seems taken aback at the outburst, and for a moment it seems he's gearing to fight back. But then he changes his mind, smile diminishing but accepting it.
"Very well, then I suppose this little walk outside has been for naught. Let's move along for now."
Alastor doesn't wait for him, turning and going back in. Lucifer lets him have his hissy fit.
And while he doesn't regret putting his foot down, the next hour sure is fucking awkward. Trudging back to the palace in uncomfortable silence, then waiting until Alastor summons him with a cup full of his ichor only for both to trudge right back out again looks silly.
Still, it's better than the alternative. His instincts are already reacting to Alastor, and he really could severely harm him if he loses reason.
The lack of whining or even a cold expression from Alastor tells Lucifer he's come to the same conclusion.
"Here you go," Alastor says, handing the cup nonchalantly. "Don't waste my precious ichor."
Lucifer snorts—then, unsure if he'll like the taste or not, downs it quickly just in case.
The taste of the ichor itself is…not going to join Lucifer's long list of food interests. It's sickeningly sweet and heavy with a hint of iron similar to mortal blood. It's closer to making him want to hurl than anything else.
However…However the presence of Alastor's divinity underneath that…
It's a good thing he insisted on the cup after all. The sense of Alastor from within the liquid more than makes up for the taste. The rich swampy taste is both exciting and soothing him in equal measures.
And then the cup is empty. Which is fine, because Lucifer can feel it inside him.
It's oh, so different from his own power. And it's so different sensing it inside him when compared to sensing his own within Alastor the other day.
Still, size jokes aside, as expected one cup of Alastor's blood doesn't invade him as his own does Alastor; the power difference is too large. Rather than surge through him, needing an outlet or careful absorption, Lucifer already feels his own divinity hungrily try to consume it.
No!
He forces it away, barring from actual absorption, trying to focus on the power now within him.
It's sad, but this truly isn't much. What little he'd ingested isn't enough to turn his own desolate divinity into something bright. Maybe if they were above, in Alastor's domain, something big could be gained by this, but here…
It doesn't matter. Even if it's one little flower, anything Lucifer can create like this will suffice.
He reaches for the power…and finally hits a snag.
Lack of power has never been an issue. He's always had divinity in excess, so Lucifer is used to needing to have an iron grip on his control.
However, when it came to determining what to do with it…that didn't require control, but concentration and often ingenuity. As abundant as his powers are, they're focused on death, and application outside hostility requires effort.
Alastor's divinity has the opposite problem. It's brimming with life and so much potential. Like a tiny, shiny seed amidst the deserted landscape of Lucifer's own.
And that is the problem. He's used to controlling the output, not the direction, and it's a struggle. As if all his existence he's had to row a boat by hand amidst windless, currentless still waters…and now he's dealing with a strong flow and he's never learned how to steer.
And it doesn't help he's half drunk on the sensation of the entwined divinities again…
Fuck it, does it even matter what it does ? Anything it creates will be good enough, so he quits trying to wrestle a specific outcome out of it, and just pushes for it to flow out.
The power responds, and rather than be absorbed it congeals and moves…
Only it doesn't flow downwards, through his feet into the ground, but instead moves up and continues to do so until it reaches his head and keeps going…
It settles on one of his horns—and Lucifer hadn't even realized they were out—and then there's pain, throbbing and acute.
"Fuck ."
He thinks he's doubled over. His ears are ringing but not enough that he can't hear the worried "Lucifer!" coming from Alastor.
There's no time to bask on that. Instinctively understanding what the pain is demanding he do, Lucifer grabs at the horn and…rips it out.
" Lucifer?! "
Wow, that sure sounded like outright panic haha , Lucifer thinks with a light head now that the pain is gone.
But he recovers quickly enough, and takes stock of his surroundings.
He's still standing, but barely so; body leaning heavily on Alastor and clearly mostly held upright thanks to him.
Lucifer tries to pry away, but Alastor's arm—which is apparently around him—tightens.
Ah, well, he's certainly not going to complain if he's allowed to stay like this, is he?
His horns are still out, but thankfully at an angle where he isn't poking Alastor's head with it.
Wait. "Where's the horn I removed?"
"You threw it a tad far."
Okay, the body contact is great, but it's just pity or at best worry. That, and there's something more interesting to focus on. So Lucifer moves away again, and this time Alastor allows it.
He looks around and finds the horn far off.
"Are you well enough to walk?"
"Yeah, the issue was the sudden pain, it stopped as soon as the horn was removed."
"You bled."
Blinking, Lucifer reaches for the top of his head and finds that while the hole made when he ripped the horn out has already closed, there's some lingering ichor from the act.
"Want some?" Lucifer asks jokingly, only to have Alastor give him a look that tells him he's seriously considering the offer. "It's a joke! Anyway, horn…"
He walks towards where it lies on the ground; it has morphed to be wider for some reason. As Lucifer picks it up, something falls out.
Lucifer looks at it in confusion. It's a bunch of grapes.
He looks inside the horn.
…Oh.
"Alastor?"
"Yes? What is it?" From where he'd been left, Alastor begins marching towards him.
"Do you know what a Cornucopia is?"
"The Horn of Plenty? Yes, I have heard tales of it."
"Well, looks like we just created one…"
"What?" By now, Alastor has reached his side.
Wordlessly, Lucifer shows him the horn. The inside is filled to the brim with produce.
Lucifer turns it upside down. The contents—fruits, vegetables and edible flowers—spill out.
And continue to do so, far more than the horn should be able to hold. And unending.
Finally, Lucifer sets it up again so it stops.
"A Horn of Plenty…" Lucifer says, not masking his amazement. "I've only ever heard of this. Adam won't stop talking about how he got one by accidentally hurting his nursemaid. I'm sure you know that story. Ha! I thought I'd have a hard time dealing with agriculture down here, but that's solved."
Giddy, he grabs a nut and eats it.
"Hm, delicious. And…" Realizing something, Lucifer focuses on sensing the rest of the trove to confirm his finding. "Ha! Alastor, try it, they're not considered food from the Underworld!"
"Truly?" Alastor says.
Before Lucifer can reassure him with an oath, however, Alastor is already reaching out and taking a piece. The trust in that doesn't go unnoticed.
"Hmm, it is indeed of a high quality," Alastor muses after eating one.
"Right? Hahaha, this is amazing."
"You did lose a horn, however."
"Worth it. Besides, it'll grow right back and won't be a bitch until then like an eye. C'mon, let's go back and feast! I'll even have some ugly raw venison for you."
*
"Say, Lucifer, I do realize it is crass to renegotiate the terms of the deal when it is underway…but what do you say to changing my reward for allowing you to have my ichor? Rather than give me yours, why not, instead, lend me this Cornucopia once a week in the event that I do end up spending some time in the Underworld in the future."
Oh, Alastor is seriously considering it.
"You're right, it is crass, and I'm not renegotiating now."
"...I see."
"Buuuut we can always make a new deal. Say, one meal with me for every week you wish to use it."
"Ha, are you truly that desperate for company?"
"Are you suggesting you're bad company?"
"...I suppose this is a tie. Very well, we'll do it your way."
His shadow is jumping up and down, looking quite happy, and Lucifer wonders if it is sensing his emotions instead of Alastor's.
Notes:—In case anyone is wondering why I didn't go all out with the "kiss to fake it" trope…it's because if the intent is to thoroughly hide his face, burying it on Alastors shoulder does the job much better. Kissing him wouldn't be as good for that. Sorry folks, but I draw the line at realistic "faking being a couple to escape a situation" trope.
—Temple layout: the temples followed a bent axis scheme. To expand on that: "The inner temple's main element was the cella. It was arranged in a so-called bent-axis scheme, i.e. a rectangular room equipped at one of its small sides with a large niche (also referred to as an adyton), reserved for the placement of a representation of the deity to which the temple was dedicated, and a main entrance at the opposite end of one of the long sides. This architectural layout forced people entering the room to perform a 90° turn in order to view the cult idol. Additional side chambers, perhaps serving as storage areas or areas of non-ritual activities, surrounded the cella." (https://www.godscollections.org/case-studies/the-mesopotamian-temple-of-ishtar-at-assur).
Ishtar/Inanna having a temple close to the Hanging Gardens is pure fiction on my part.
—Asphodel Meadows: was a section of the ancient Greek underworld. I won't say which. As for the flower (sacred to Hades), here's what it looks like:
—Cornucopia/Horn of Plenty: accounts say Hades had one, but not how he got it. The Zeus part is a real myth: Baby Zeus accidentally broke off the horn of the goat who nursed him. The horn then had the divine power to provide unending nourishment.
Reading Persephone's tale, I couldn't find how the food situation was resolved. She ate six seeds and was unable to leave for six months…given afterwards she always left for six months every year, what was she eating in the Underworld that didn't stop her from leaving? I decided to use the Cornucopia as the answer.
—Echinopsis 'Mnemosyne': That mnemosyne cactus isn't, as far as I could find, the actual plant for the Goddess. In fact, there's little information on it and it seems to be some sort of new hybrid. However, since it is a flower existing today with her name, and a prickly cactus suits Susan