The Egyptian Pantheon had endured countless disasters.
Ancient wars had shaken its foundations. Divine rebellions had threatened its rulers. Forgotten curses had emerged from sealed temples, and dangerous beings had occasionally attempted to overthrow the gods.
Yet nothing had prepared Ra for the greatest insult of his reign.
His honey cakes had been stolen.
Twice.
Ra stood in the center of the golden throne room, his radiant aura blazing like a miniature sun.
Before him stood Kael Veyris, the Architect of Existence, Emperor of the Veyris Empire, and according to Ra's official accusation the primary suspect in the disappearance of several sacred desserts.
Kael looked perfectly relaxed.
Neferet stood beside him, already regretting every decision that had led to this moment.
Sekhmet sat on a nearby chair, covering her mouth with both hands.
Ra pointed dramatically at Kael.
"Kael Veyris! You have come into my divine realm, disturbed our sacred meeting, encouraged the theft of royal honey cakes, and shown absolutely no remorse!"
Kael tilted his head.
"I didn't steal them."
"You encouraged the thief!"
"I offered it fruit."
"You called it Little Ra!"
"That was a compliment."
"IT WAS NOT!"
Sekhmet made a strange noise.
Ra turned toward her.
"Something amusing, Sekhmet?"
"No."
"Then why are you shaking?"
"I'm cold."
"The temperature in this room could melt mountains!"
Sekhmet nodded seriously.
"An unusual illness, then."
Isis quietly turned away.
Even Anubis appeared to be struggling to maintain his usual composure.
Neferet stepped forward.
"Lord Ra, perhaps we should investigate the matter calmly."
"I have investigated!"
"And what did you discover?"
Ra paused.
His golden eyes narrowed.
"The evidence points toward Kael."
Neferet stared at him.
"What evidence?"
"The cakes disappeared while he was here!"
Kael raised a finger.
"Technically, they disappeared while the Sunling was here."
Ra slowly turned toward him.
"YOU ADMIT THE CREATURE WAS INVOLVED?"
"I admit it was present."
"AND YOU WERE FEEDING IT!"
"It looked hungry."
Ra's aura flared.
"ENOUGH!"
The entire throne room fell silent.
Ra straightened his golden crown.
"Since you refuse to accept responsibility, I have decided upon an appropriate punishment."
Neferet immediately became suspicious.
"What punishment?"
Ra smiled.
It was not a reassuring smile.
"Three divine competitions."
Kael blinked.
"Competitions?"
"Yes! You shall prove your worth through cooking, wisdom, and self-control. If you lose, you will compensate the Egyptian Pantheon for every stolen honey cake."
Kael considered this.
"How much does one honey cake cost?"
Ra's smile widened.
"One hundred thousand divine gold coins."
Neferet's eyes widened.
"That is absurd!"
"One hundred thousand per cake!"
"RA!"
Sekhmet slid out of her chair.
She was laughing too hard to remain seated.
Kael, meanwhile, nodded thoughtfully.
"All right."
Ra froze.
"...What?"
"I said all right."
"You accept my challenge?"
"Sure. It sounds entertaining."
Ra looked deeply offended.
"This is not entertainment! This is a matter of divine justice!"
Kael smiled.
"Then let's deliver some divine justice."
Neferet whispered to herself.
"I should have stayed in Draktharion."
The first competition took place in the royal kitchen.
Ra had personally selected the ingredients.
They included celestial flour, golden honey, moonlight sugar, sacred dates, and a mysterious spice that was supposedly harvested from the heart of the sun.
Kael examined the ingredients.
"Interesting."
Ra folded his arms.
"You have thirty minutes to prepare a dish worthy of the Egyptian Pantheon."
"And what are you making?"
"Honey cakes, naturally."
Kael nodded.
"That seems appropriate."
Sekhmet sat at the judges' table beside Isis and Osiris.
Neferet stood between the contestants, serving as the official referee.
She held a golden tablet.
"Before we begin, I would like to establish a few rules."
Ra nodded.
"Proceed."
"First, neither contestant may destroy the kitchen."
"Agreed," Ra said.
"Second, neither contestant may alter the ingredients through divine manipulation."
Ra looked suspiciously at Kael.
"Agreed."
"Third, no creating additional universes, pocket dimensions, or alternate timelines to gain an advantage."
Kael raised his hand.
"Can I ask a question?"
Neferet sighed.
"What?"
"Can I create an ordinary oven?"
"Yes."
"A magical oven?"
"Within reason."
"An oven that cooks food across every possible timeline simultaneously?"
"NO!"
Kael lowered his hand.
"Just checking."
Neferet turned toward Ra.
"Are you ready?"
Ra lifted his golden cooking utensils.
"I was born ready."
Kael looked at the ingredients.
"I was not born."
Ra stopped.
Neferet closed her eyes.
"That is not relevant."
"Understood."
The competition began.
Ra immediately moved with extraordinary speed. He mixed the flour, honey, and sugar with the precision of a master chef. Golden flames danced beneath his oven as he prepared a traditional recipe passed down through countless generations.
Meanwhile, Kael stood motionless.
He stared at the ingredients.
Thirty seconds passed.
Then a minute.
Then two.
Ra glanced toward him.
"What are you doing?"
"Thinking."
"THINK FASTER!"
Kael picked up a bowl.
He added flour.
Then honey.
Then dates.
Then a little moonlight sugar.
He mixed everything together and placed it in the oven.
Ra stared.
"That's your entire recipe?"
"Pretty much."
"You haven't measured anything!"
"I measured with my eyes."
"THAT IS NOT A VALID COOKING METHOD!"
Kael shrugged.
"It works for me."
Ra returned to his cooking, muttering about disrespectful visitors.
Twenty minutes later, both dishes were ready.
Ra presented a beautiful golden platter containing twelve perfectly shaped honey cakes. Each cake glowed with divine light, and their aroma filled the kitchen.
Isis smiled.
"Magnificent."
Osiris nodded.
"An excellent presentation."
Ra stood proudly.
"Behold! The traditional honey cakes of the Solar Throne!"
Then Kael placed his dish on the table.
It contained one enormous honey cake.
It was slightly lopsided.
A small section of the top had collapsed.
One side looked suspiciously like a mountain.
Ra stared at it.
Silence.
Then he burst out laughing.
"WHAT IS THAT?"
"A honey cake."
"IT LOOKS LIKE A DESTROYED TEMPLE!"
Kael examined it.
"You're right. I should have added a tower."
Sekhmet collapsed onto the floor.
Neferet covered her mouth.
Ra looked toward the judges.
"Well? The winner is obvious!"
Isis sampled Ra's honey cake first.
She closed her eyes.
"The flavor is excellent. Perfectly balanced."
Osiris tried one.
"Traditional, yet refined."
Sekhmet took a bite.
She nodded.
"Very good."
Ra smiled triumphantly.
Then Isis approached Kael's enormous cake.
She cut a small piece.
She tasted it.
Her eyes widened.
"Wait."
Ra's smile faded.
Isis took another bite.
Osiris leaned forward.
"Is something wrong?"
"No."
She took another bite.
"It's... extraordinary."
Ra stared at her.
"What?"
Isis turned toward the others.
"The texture is soft, the honey is perfectly balanced, and the dates create a wonderful flavor. It tastes remarkably simple, but every ingredient works together."
Osiris sampled a piece.
His expression changed.
"This is excellent."
Sekhmet grabbed a slice.
She ate it.
Then another.
Then another.
Ra's golden aura flickered.
"HOW?"
Kael shrugged.
"I added a little cinnamon."
Neferet looked at the ingredients.
"There was no cinnamon."
Kael paused.
"Oh."
Everyone stared at him.
Ra pointed at the cake.
"YOU CHEATED!"
Kael looked genuinely confused.
"Is cinnamon prohibited?"
Neferet checked her tablet.
"No."
Ra turned toward her.
"WHY NOT?"
"Because it's a cooking ingredient!"
Sekhmet was now eating her fourth slice.
Ra looked at her.
"STOP EATING THE EVIDENCE!"
Sekhmet swallowed.
"It's delicious."
Ra turned back toward Kael.
"I demand a rematch!"
Kael smiled.
"Of course. I'll make two cakes next time."
Ra looked as though his entire understanding of divine justice had collapsed.
Winner of the first competition: Kael Veyris.
Ra's emotional state: Unstable.
The second competition took place in the Hall of Sacred Wisdom.
Ra had chosen this challenge personally.
Cooking was one thing.
But riddles?
Ra had accumulated knowledge throughout countless ages. He had studied ancient languages, cosmic histories, sacred mathematics, and philosophical questions that had occupied entire generations of scholars.
Surely, he could defeat Kael in a battle of intellect.
He stood before the gathered gods.
"This competition shall determine who possesses the sharper mind!"
Kael nodded.
"Sounds good."
Neferet took her position beside the table.
"Each contestant will ask three riddles. The opponent must answer correctly."
Ra smiled confidently.
"I shall begin."
He turned toward Kael.
"Listen carefully. What has a beginning but no end, exists everywhere yet occupies no space, and cannot be held even by the gods?"
Kael answered immediately.
"An unfinished argument."
Silence.
Isis slowly looked at Ra.
Osiris looked at the ceiling.
Sekhmet made a noise like a wounded animal.
Ra's face turned red.
"THAT IS NOT THE ANSWER!"
"Then what is?"
"Existence!"
Kael nodded.
"An unfinished argument can also have no end."
Neferet pressed her lips together.
"Technically, he has a point."
"NEFERET!"
She quickly looked at her tablet.
"Next riddle."
Ra took a deep breath.
"What becomes greater the more it is shared, yet cannot be divided into pieces?"
Kael thought for a moment.
"Knowledge."
Ra smiled.
"Correct."
Kael continued.
"Or a really good joke."
Sekhmet fell off her chair.
Ra gritted his teeth.
"That is not part of the answer!"
"But it fits."
"It does not!"
"Then why is Sekhmet laughing?"
Sekhmet was now lying on the floor, clutching her stomach.
Neferet pointed at her.
"Please get up!"
"I CAN'T!"
"YOU ARE A GODDESS OF WAR!"
"I'M LOSING A BATTLE!"
Ra turned away.
He needed to regain his composure.
He needed to focus.
He needed to remember that he was the ancient solar sovereign and not a man arguing with someone about cake and jokes.
Finally, he faced Kael again.
"My final riddle. What is the one thing that even the most powerful being cannot escape?"
Kael smiled.
"Other people's expectations."
The room went quiet.
For a moment, Ra had no immediate response.
Kael continued.
"The stronger someone becomes, the more people expect from them. They expect them to solve every problem, answer every question, and prevent every tragedy. Eventually, even a being who can do almost anything might forget that they're allowed to rest."
Neferet looked at him thoughtfully.
Isis nodded slowly.
Osiris smiled.
Ra remained silent.
Then Kael added, "Also, taxes."
The entire hall erupted.
Sekhmet screamed with laughter.
Neferet bent over the table.
Even Anubis turned away, his shoulders shaking.
Ra stared at Kael.
"...Taxes?"
"Everyone has responsibilities."
"YOU ARE AN EMPEROR!"
"Exactly."
Ra opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Then opened it again.
"I hate this competition."
Kael smiled.
"Does that mean I win?"
Ra pointed at him.
"YES!"
He stopped.
"...No! Wait! I meant"
Neferet raised her tablet.
"The second competition goes to Kael Veyris."
Ra looked toward the ceiling.
"Is there no justice in Aaru?"
A distant voice answered from the temple entrance.
"Not while you're arguing about taxes!"
Nobody knew who had said it.
That somehow made it worse.
Ra's final challenge was his masterpiece.
No cooking.
No riddles.
No complicated rules.
The contestants would sit opposite one another and attempt to remain completely serious.
The first person to laugh would lose.
Ra believed this was the perfect way to defeat Kael.
After all, Kael had spent the entire day making jokes.
Surely, the Architect would be unable to maintain a straight face.
Neferet stood between them.
"This is the final competition. You must not use magic to influence your opponent's emotions, create illusions, or alter the environment."
Ra nodded.
"Agreed."
Kael nodded.
"Agreed."
"Begin."
Ra sat on a golden chair.
Kael sat opposite him.
They stared at each other.
Ten seconds passed.
Thirty seconds.
A minute.
Ra maintained a perfectly serious expression.
Kael looked equally calm.
Sekhmet watched from the sidelines.
She whispered to Isis.
"This is somehow worse than the cooking."
Isis whispered back.
"Please remain quiet."
Sekhmet nodded.
Another minute passed.
Then Ra slowly raised his hand.
"I have a question."
Neferet frowned.
"What question?"
"Does blinking count as laughing?"
"No."
"Does smiling?"
"No."
"Does breathing?"
"RA!"
He immediately stopped talking.
Kael continued staring at him.
Another minute passed.
Ra's expression became increasingly determined.
He would win.
He had to win.
He had challenged the Architect of Existence, and he would not leave this room defeated by a man who had baked a cake shaped like a damaged mountain.
Then Kael spoke.
"Ra?"
Ra narrowed his eyes.
"What?"
"You're glowing."
"Of course I'm glowing! I am the sun god!"
"Right. Just checking."
Ra clenched his jaw.
Kael nodded thoughtfully.
"Must make sleeping difficult."
Ra's left eye twitched.
Sekhmet began shaking.
Neferet pointed at her.
"Do not laugh!"
Sekhmet pressed both hands over her mouth.
Kael continued.
"Have you ever tried turning yourself off at night?"
Ra's expression froze.
"Turn myself"
"Like a lamp."
A strange sound emerged from Sekhmet.
It was somewhere between a squeak and a dying trumpet.
Neferet immediately covered Sekhmet's mouth.
"Don't you dare!"
Ra's lips trembled.
He fought desperately to maintain his composure.
Then Kael leaned forward.
"Actually, I have another question."
Ra's eyes widened.
"No."
"Do you ever get mistaken for a very enthusiastic ceiling light?"
Ra broke.
He burst out laughing.
Not a dignified chuckle.
Not a restrained divine smile.
He laughed so hard that his golden aura flickered across the walls.
Sekhmet immediately joined him.
Within seconds, both gods were laughing uncontrollably.
Neferet stood between them, staring into the distance with the expression of someone reconsidering every decision she had ever made.
Kael remained perfectly serious.
He looked at Neferet.
"Did I win?"
She stared at him.
Then she slowly lowered her head onto the table.
"Yes, Kael."
He nodded.
"Excellent."
Ra finally managed to catch his breath.
"You... you planned that!"
Kael shrugged.
"You asked me to remain serious."
"You made me laugh!"
"That wasn't against the rules."
Ra opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
Then pointed at Neferet.
"CHANGE THE RULES!"
Neferet lifted her head.
"No."
"WHY NOT?"
"Because you wrote them!"
The throne room exploded with laughter again.
Winner of the third competition: Kael Veyris.
Ra's dignity: Missing, presumed buried beneath the honey cakes.
After the three competitions, Ra summoned Kael to the throne.
A large golden document floated before them.
Ra looked at it with grim determination.
"Kael Veyris, you have won all three competitions."
Kael nodded.
"Thank you."
"However, the stolen honey cakes remain an unresolved matter."
Neferet immediately stood.
"Ra, we already identified the Sunling as the thief."
"Yes, but Kael encouraged it!"
"I fed it fruit."
Ra pointed at him.
"EXACTLY!"
Kael sighed.
"Fine. How much do I owe?"
Ra smiled triumphantly.
"Seven hundred thousand divine gold coins."
Neferet's eyes widened.
"Seven hundred thousand?"
"Seven cakes at one hundred thousand each!"
Kael examined the document.
Then he looked at Ra.
"Would you accept payment in honey cakes?"
Ra paused.
"What?"
"I can make seven hundred thousand."
The golden document trembled.
Neferet slowly turned toward Kael.
"Please tell me you're joking."
"I can make them in a few seconds."
"That's not the point!"
Kael snapped his fingers.
A tiny golden portal opened above the table.
One honey cake appeared.
Then another.
Then a third.
Soon, a mountain of honey cakes began forming in the throne room.
Ra's expression changed.
"STOP!"
Kael stopped.
A mountain of honey cakes stood behind him.
It was taller than the throne.
Neferet stared at it.
Sekhmet stared at it.
Isis stared at it.
Osiris quietly picked up a plate.
Ra looked at the mountain.
Then at Kael.
Then back at the mountain.
"...How many?"
"Seven hundred thousand."
Ra slowly sat down.
He stared into the distance.
"Perhaps I have made a mistake."
Kael smiled.
"Would you like me to remove them?"
Ra looked at the enormous pile.
He considered the question carefully.
Then he cleared his throat.
"No. The Egyptian Pantheon accepts your payment."
Neferet threw her hands into the air.
"YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!"
Ra gestured toward the cakes.
"They are sacred compensation."
"They're desserts!"
"SACRED DESSERTS!"
Sekhmet took a cake.
"These are delicious."
Isis took one.
"Remarkably good."
Osiris took two.
"For research purposes."
Anubis quietly collected a plate.
Neferet looked around the room.
Within minutes, the gods had begun eating the compensation.
Ra nodded proudly.
"Justice has been served."
Kael looked at him.
"With honey."
"WITH HONEY!"
By sunset, the throne room had been transformed into an enormous dessert gathering.
Gods who had spent the morning debating ancient mysteries were now arguing about which honey cake tasted best.
Sekhmet declared that the ones with extra dates were superior.
Isis preferred the cinnamon version.
Osiris claimed that the traditional recipe remained unmatched.
Anubis had quietly taken three cakes to the temple archives.
When Neferet asked why, he replied, "For historical preservation."
She decided not to question him further.
Kael sat beside the fountain, holding a cup of tea.
Neferet approached and sat next to him.
"I invited you here to investigate the First Covenant."
"We did investigate it."
"We also had a cooking contest, a riddle competition, and a contest to see who could remain serious the longest."
Kael nodded.
"It was a productive day."
Neferet stared at him.
Then, despite her best efforts, she laughed.
"I cannot believe you."
Kael smiled.
"You're welcome."
"That wasn't a compliment!"
"I choose to interpret it as one."
She shook her head.
For a while, they watched the sunset together.
Then Neferet spoke more quietly.
"You know, it was nice."
Kael glanced at her.
"What was?"
"Having a day when the Pantheon could laugh together. Everyone is always worried about their responsibilities, their titles, and their disagreements. Sometimes, I think we've forgotten how to enjoy being together."
Kael looked toward the temple.
"Then perhaps today was useful after all."
Neferet smiled.
"Even if Ra nearly declared war over honey cakes?"
"Especially then."
From across the courtyard, Ra shouted.
"I HEARD THAT!"
Kael called back.
"WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER CAKE?"
A pause followed.
Then Ra answered.
"...YES."
Neferet burst out laughing.
Kael joined her.
And for one peaceful evening, the gods of Aaru were not ancient rulers struggling beneath the weight of their divine responsibilities.
They were simply a group of people enjoying dessert.
Night had fallen when Kael finally prepared to leave.
Neferet walked with him toward the golden portal that would return him to the Veyris Empire.
"Thank you for coming," she said.
"Thank you for inviting me."
"And please don't tell anyone about today."
Kael looked at her.
"Why?"
"Because the Egyptian Pantheon has a reputation to maintain."
Kael glanced back at the temple.
Sekhmet was attempting to stack honey cakes into a tower.
Ra was arguing with her about proper dessert storage.
Isis was writing down the recipe.
Anubis was carrying another plate toward the archives.
Kael looked back at Neferet.
"Of course."
She narrowed her eyes.
"You're going to tell someone."
"I would never."
"Kael."
"I promise."
She sighed.
"Fine. I'll trust you."
Kael stepped through the portal.
Just before it closed, he turned around.
"By the way, Neferet?"
"What?"
"Ra asked me to return next week."
Neferet went pale.
"...For what?"
Kael smiled.
"A divine pastry championship."
The portal closed.
Neferet stood motionless.
Then she slowly looked toward the temple.
From inside came Ra's booming voice.
"NEXT WEEK, I SHALL DEFEAT THE ARCHITECT!"
Neferet covered her face.
"Ra, please stop inviting him!"
But somewhere far beyond Aaru, something else was happening.
Inside the sealed chamber beneath the temple, the seven silver lines had begun to glow again.
A new inscription appeared.
THE FIRST TEST HAS BEEN COMPLETED.
Beneath it, a second line formed.
THE ARCHITECT HAS ENTERED THE GAME.
Then a third.
THE EIGHTH HAS CHOSEN HER MOMENT.
The chamber fell silent.
A shadow moved behind the sealed door.
And a quiet voice whispered:
"Let them enjoy their little celebration."
A faint laugh echoed through the darkness.
"They will need it."