The Egyptian Pantheon had survived countless wars.
It had endured ancient curses, divine rebellions, political disputes, and several thousand years of gods arguing over who deserved the largest temple.
But nothing could have prepared it for the arrival of Kael Veyris.
Specifically, the problem wasn't that Kael was powerful.
The problem was that Kael was bored.
And a bored Kael Veyris was a dangerous thing to have in a room full of serious people.
"Your Majesty," Neferet whispered as they walked toward the central temple, "please behave yourself."
Kael looked at her.
"I always behave myself."
Neferet stopped walking.
She stared at him.
He stared back.
"Kael."
"Neferet."
"You created twelve universes in one night because you couldn't sleep."
"That was productive."
"You turned an entire mountain into a giant cake."
"It was a small mountain."
"You gave a cosmic dragon the ability to sneeze galaxies."
"He's very happy now."
Neferet slowly covered her face with one hand.
"Ra help me."
Kael smiled.
"Isn't that why we're going to meet him?"
"I regret inviting you."
"Too late. I'm already here."
She continued walking.
Behind them, a palace attendant who had overheard the conversation quietly made a note.
Warning: The Architect of Existence should not be allowed near mountains, sleeping dragons, or kitchen equipment without supervision.
Inside the central temple, Ra sat upon his golden throne.
The ancient solar sovereign had summoned the leading members of the Egyptian Pantheon to discuss the mysterious eighth presence that had entered Aaru.
Isis sat beside him.
Osiris stood near the central table.
Anubis occupied a seat in the shadows.
Sekhmet leaned against a pillar, her arms crossed.
Several other gods had gathered, each carrying ancient records and magical tablets.
Ra raised his hand.
"Let us begin."
The doors opened.
Kael and Neferet entered.
Everyone looked toward them.
Ra nodded solemnly.
"Welcome. We have much to discuss."
Kael looked around the hall.
"Nice place."
Ra paused.
"...Thank you."
"Very shiny."
"Thank you?"
"How often do you polish everything?"
Silence.
Isis slowly turned toward Neferet.
Neferet closed her eyes.
Please don't start.
Ra cleared his throat.
"The temple is maintained by our sacred servants."
"Ah. Excellent. Do they polish the ceiling, too?"
"Yes."
"Impressive. How do they reach it?"
Ra stared at him.
Kael stared back.
Sekhmet suddenly covered her mouth.
Her shoulders began shaking.
Isis noticed.
"Are you laughing?"
"No."
"Your shoulders are shaking."
"I'm preparing for battle."
"Against what?"
Sekhmet turned away.
"My laughter."
Osiris sighed.
"We haven't even started the meeting."
Kael pulled out a chair and sat down.
"Take your time. I'm enjoying this."
Neferet whispered, "You're enjoying watching my reputation collapse."
Kael leaned toward her.
"Don't worry. If anyone asks, I'll tell them you were very serious."
"That somehow makes it worse."
Ra finally managed to regain control of the meeting.
"Now. As we were discussing, an unknown being has entered Aaru without triggering our defenses."
He gestured toward a magical projection above the table.
A dark silhouette appeared.
"The entity seems connected to the seven silver thrones and the ancient First Covenant."
Isis nodded.
"Our records suggest that the eighth presence may have existed before the covenant was established."
Anubis added, "Its identity remains unknown."
Sekhmet stepped forward.
"Then we should search the entire realm."
Ra shook his head.
"We cannot begin a divine search without understanding what we are looking for."
Kael raised his hand.
Everyone turned toward him.
Ra looked relieved.
"Yes, Kael?"
"Have you tried asking it to leave?"
Silence.
The projection continued rotating above the table.
Ra slowly lowered his head.
"That is not how ancient divine mysteries work."
"Why not?"
"Because this is a serious matter."
"Then ask seriously."
Sekhmet made a strange choking noise.
Isis turned toward her.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes."
"You sound unwell."
"I've developed an allergy."
"To what?"
Sekhmet looked at Kael.
"Common sense."
Kael nodded sympathetically.
"That sounds difficult."
Sekhmet finally burst out laughing.
The entire temple echoed with her laughter.
Ra closed his eyes.
He had ruled the Egyptian Pantheon for an extraordinarily long time.
He had never imagined that one day he would be responsible for maintaining order during a meeting involving a being who could casually question an ancient mystery into submission.
Neferet leaned toward Kael.
"Please stop helping."
"But I'm contributing."
"You're contributing to my headache."
Anubis, who had remained silent throughout most of the conversation, finally stood.
"The unknown entity has left no ordinary trail. Its presence cannot be detected through conventional divine senses."
Kael nodded.
"Interesting."
Anubis continued.
"Even my guardians have been unable to locate it."
"Have you checked the kitchen?"
Anubis stopped.
Everyone stopped.
Ra slowly turned his head.
"The kitchen?"
Kael shrugged.
"People get hungry."
Anubis stared at him.
For a moment, the god of burial rites and the passage of souls appeared genuinely uncertain about how to respond.
Then he said, very seriously, "The kitchen is protected by three divine barriers."
Kael nodded.
"Good. Then whoever it is probably hasn't eaten."
Neferet placed both hands over her face.
Isis turned away, trying to hide her smile.
Osiris coughed into his fist.
Sekhmet had already sat down on the floor.
Ra pointed at her.
"Stand up!"
"I can't!"
"Why not?"
"I'm fighting for my life!"
"Against what?"
"THE ALLERGY!"
Kael looked concerned.
"Should I summon a healer?"
Sekhmet laughed harder.
Ra looked as though he was beginning to question every decision he had made since the creation of the divine realm.
Then a servant hurried into the temple.
"Lord Ra! We have a problem!"
Ra straightened.
"Finally. Something serious. Explain."
The servant swallowed.
"Someone has stolen the sacred honey cakes from the royal kitchen."
Everyone went silent.
Kael slowly turned toward Anubis.
Anubis slowly turned toward Kael.
Kael raised both hands.
"I didn't do it."
Neferet stared at him.
"Nobody accused you!"
"I just wanted to establish that early."
Ra stood.
"Seal the kitchen!"
The servant looked frightened.
"Lord Ra, it's already sealed."
"Then how were the cakes stolen?"
"We don't know!"
Kael leaned back in his chair.
"Perhaps the thief is the eighth presence."
Ra pointed at him.
"Stop helping!"
Five minutes later, the entire Egyptian Pantheon was standing in the royal kitchen.
It was an enormous chamber filled with golden cooking utensils, enchanted ovens, and shelves containing ingredients gathered from across Aaru.
At the center stood an empty plate.
On the plate was a single crumb.
Ra stared at it as though it were the remains of a fallen civilization.
"Those cakes were prepared for the Festival of the First Sun."
Isis examined the plate.
"Perhaps the thief was hungry."
Ra turned toward her.
"Is everyone going to suggest that?"
Kael raised his hand.
"I have another theory."
Neferet grabbed his sleeve.
"No."
"But"
"No theories."
Kael lowered his hand.
Anubis examined the kitchen entrance.
"There is no sign of forced entry."
Osiris checked the windows.
"They are sealed."
Sekhmet inspected the floor.
"No footprints."
Isis studied the magical wards.
"The protective enchantments remain intact."
Everyone looked at one another.
Then Kael walked toward the kitchen counter.
He picked up a small golden spoon.
"What's this?"
Ra turned.
"An ordinary spoon."
Kael examined it.
"Why is it glowing?"
The spoon suddenly squeaked.
Everyone froze.
The spoon grew two tiny legs.
Then it sprinted across the counter.
"STOP THAT SPOON!" Ra shouted.
Sekhmet lunged.
The spoon jumped over her head.
Anubis reached for it.
It slid beneath his feet.
Osiris attempted to block its escape with a chair.
The spoon climbed the chair, launched itself into the air, and landed directly on Ra's head.
Silence.
The ancient solar sovereign stood motionless.
A tiny golden spoon sat on his crown.
Kael looked at him.
"Nice hat."
Sekhmet fell to the floor.
Isis turned toward the wall.
Neferet was laughing so hard that she had to hold onto the counter.
Ra carefully removed the spoon.
It squeaked again.
Then it pointed toward a cupboard.
Kael opened the cupboard.
Inside sat a tiny golden creature with enormous eyes.
It was surrounded by empty honey-cake wrappers.
The creature looked up.
Everyone stared at it.
It stared back.
Then it swallowed the last crumb.
Ra's expression darkened.
"You."
The creature squeaked.
"YOU STOLE MY HONEY CAKES!"
The creature immediately pointed at Kael.
Kael blinked.
"Excuse me?"
The creature nodded vigorously.
Neferet looked at Kael.
"Did you steal the cakes?"
"No."
The creature pointed at him again.
Kael leaned forward.
"Listen, little fellow. I can create an entire universe made of honey cakes if you want."
The creature's eyes widened.
It dropped to its knees.
Then it bowed toward Kael.
Ra stared.
"YOU CAN'T BRIBE MY WITNESSES WITH DESSERT!"
Kael looked confused.
"I haven't even created them yet."
The creature squeaked excitedly.
Sekhmet was laughing again.
Ra turned toward the ceiling.
"Why me?"
Eventually, the little creature was identified as a Sunling, a mischievous magical animal that lived near the celestial river.
It had apparently entered the kitchen through a tiny ventilation opening and discovered the honey cakes.
The mystery was solved.
Unfortunately, the meeting had not yet resumed.
Kael was sitting on a stool, feeding the Sunling a small piece of fruit.
Neferet stood beside him.
"You know, most people come to Aaru to admire its temples."
"I admired the temples."
"Some come to study our ancient history."
"I did that, too."
"Others come to negotiate with the gods."
"I negotiated with Ra."
"You offered to create an entire universe of honey cakes."
"That was a generous diplomatic gesture."
Neferet stared at him.
"You're unbelievable."
Kael smiled.
The Sunling climbed onto his shoulder and settled there.
Neferet sighed.
"Now you've adopted it."
"I haven't adopted it."
The Sunling nuzzled his cheek.
Kael paused.
"...I may have adopted it."
Neferet laughed.
"What are you going to name it?"
Kael considered the question.
"Ra."
Neferet's smile vanished.
"No."
"Why not?"
"You're not naming that creature after the ruler of the Egyptian Pantheon."
The Sunling squeaked.
Kael nodded.
"All right. Little Ra, then."
Neferet grabbed his arm.
"KAEL!"
From the other side of the kitchen, Ra shouted, "I HEARD THAT!"
Kael calmly stood.
"He's very sensitive about names."
Neferet looked at the ceiling.
"Please give me patience."
Kael patted her shoulder.
"Would you like me to create some?"
"No!"
"All right."
He paused.
"I could make a patience cake."
Neferet walked away.
Kael followed her.
The Sunling rode on his shoulder.
Behind them, Ra announced that all honey cakes would henceforth be guarded by at least four divine sentries.
Sekhmet immediately suggested that they should be guarded by five.
Isis suggested that the kitchen should simply be closed.
Osiris suggested that everyone stop arguing about cakes.
Nobody listened.
And somewhere in the distance, the celestial river continued flowing as though the Egyptian Pantheon had not just suffered its most embarrassing afternoon in several thousand years.
Later that afternoon, Neferet and Kael escaped to a quiet garden behind the temple.
The Sunling had finally fallen asleep in a basket of soft cloth.
Ra had returned to his throne.
The sacred kitchen had been cleaned.
And the divine sentries were now guarding the remaining honey cakes with the seriousness of warriors protecting an ancient relic.
Neferet sat on a marble bench.
"I need to ask you something."
Kael sat beside her.
"Go ahead."
"Are you always like this?"
"Like what?"
"Like... that."
She gestured vaguely toward the temple.
Kael thought about it.
"Usually."
Neferet laughed quietly.
Then her expression softened.
"You know, I invited you here because I thought your knowledge might help us understand the First Covenant."
"And I still intend to help."
"I know."
She looked toward the golden river.
"But you didn't treat the gods like they were beneath you. You didn't demand anything from them. And when everything became ridiculous, you simply enjoyed yourself."
Kael rested his arms on the back of the bench.
"Being powerful doesn't mean every moment has to be serious."
"Even when the fate of a divine realm might be involved?"
"Especially then. If we spend every moment worrying about the future, we'll forget to live in the present."
Neferet smiled.
"Perhaps the Egyptian Pantheon needs to hear that."
"They probably need more honey cakes, too."
She laughed.
"Please don't tell Ra that."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
They sat quietly for a moment.
Then Neferet glanced at him.
"Thank you for coming to Aaru, Kael."
"You're welcome."
"And thank you for respecting my decision to investigate the First Covenant myself."
Kael nodded.
"You're the one who wants to restore it. You should have a say in how that happens."
Neferet looked at the distant temple.
For a long time, she had carried the responsibility of restoring the scattered sanctuaries of her pantheon.
She had expected the journey to be difficult.
She had not expected it to involve a magical spoon, stolen honey cakes, and the most powerful being in existence adopting a creature that had committed divine pastry theft.
Perhaps the journey would be more interesting than she had anticipated.
Just as Kael stood to leave, a golden messenger appeared above the garden path.
Its wings shimmered with celestial light.
"Lady Neferet! Lord Ra requests your presence!"
Neferet sighed.
"What happened now?"
The messenger hesitated.
"The sacred honey cakes have disappeared again."
Silence.
Kael slowly turned toward the basket.
It was empty.
The Sunling was nowhere to be seen.
Neferet stared at Kael.
Kael stared at Neferet.
Then both looked toward the distant kitchen.
From somewhere inside the temple came Ra's furious voice.
"WHO LET THE LITTLE CREATURE OUT?!"
Kael cleared his throat.
"Well..."
Neferet pointed a finger at him.
"Don't."
"I haven't said anything."
"You were about to."
Kael smiled innocently.
"Perhaps the eighth presence is hungry."
Neferet closed her eyes.
"Kael Veyris, I am begging you. Please do not make this worse."
He nodded solemnly.
"Of course."
A pause.
Then he added:
"I'll create a universe of honey cakes somewhere else."
"KAEL!"
His laughter echoed across the garden.
For the first time in a very long time, Neferet forgot about ancient covenants, mysterious thrones, and the burden of divine politics.
She simply laughed with him.
Unfortunately, neither of them noticed the small black symbol that had appeared beneath the empty basket.
Seven silver lines surrounded it.
And at its center was a single word.
REMEMBER.
Far beyond the golden sky of Aaru, the mysterious eighth presence watched the divine realm.
For a moment, the figure seemed genuinely confused.
"The Architect is here..."
She watched Kael laugh.
"...and he's feeding the Sunling."
The figure paused.
Then she slowly shook her head.
"I have waited through countless ages for this moment."
Her gaze shifted toward the palace kitchen.
"And somehow, the honey cakes have become the greatest threat to my plans."