Chapter 1 Part 2 Midnight Peeping (2)
This day, I was at home doing laundry, picking up Xiaoyu's changed dark blue boxer briefs, and found the crotch area wet and sticky with a large hardened crust again.
I sighed, my heart heavy.
Counting the time, this is already the third time this week.
I specially looked it up online, the information says this frequency is normal for adolescent boys.
But the information also says that high stress is an important reason for frequent masturbation.
Thinking of the AP exam Xiaoyu is about to face, which is crucial for college applications, my heart felt like it had a stone pressing on it.
This kid puts too much pressure on himself, like he's wound up, but as his mom, besides worrying, I really don't know how to help him de-stress, how to talk to him about these things.
Just staring at the laundry basket in worry, the doorbell rang.
"Must be Lili." I muttered, casually tossed Xiaoyu's underwear back into the basket, and went to open the door.
Sure enough, it was her. "What are you busy with, Sister Fang?" Wang Li poked her head in, smiling.
"Doing laundry. Come in and sit." I stepped aside to let her in, closed the door.
Mentioning laundry, I noticed Wang Li's smile faded a bit, her brows slightly furrowed, as if she had something on her mind.
She followed me into the narrow bathroom, her gaze swept over the clothes in the laundry basket, suddenly fixed, staring intently at Xiaoyu's underwear with the obvious stain in the crotch.
"This... your son's?" Her voice was a bit dry, the smile completely gone from her face.
"Nonsense, whose else could it be?" I was a bit annoyed, already irritated inside, grabbed that underwear and threw it into the water-filled basin, poured in detergent, and stirred vigorously.
Wang Li didn't respond, silent for a few seconds, her fingers unconsciously twisting her clothes hem, then said in a low voice: "Sister Fang, I have something to tell you, it's been bothering me."
I turned off the faucet, the water sound stopped, the bathroom suddenly very quiet. I turned to look at her: "Go ahead, what's wrong? No need to be formal with me."
"I... I found out Xiaokai he..." She seemed to have trouble saying it, her face slightly red, "...he's masturbating." Her voice was very low, with obvious anxiety.
My hands were still dripping wet, paused in mid-air. Water drops fell to the ground.
Wang Li took a deep breath and continued: "What to do? I've been so worried I haven't slept well these two days."
I grabbed a tissue to wipe my hands, sighed: "What's the big deal? Didn't you do it when you were young? It's normal physiological need. Boys at this age are all like that."
"I know it's normal!" Wang Li got a bit anxious, her voice rising a little, then lowering again, "It's because it's normal that I'm even more worried! In China it's fine, schools are strict, less access to that stuff. But this is America! Sister Fang, you know how open it is here! On TV, online, even in convenience stores, that stuff is everywhere! I'm scared! I'm afraid Xiaokai will be led astray by those things, learn bad habits... or worse, get taken by those no-good kids at school to those... those places!" She didn't say it explicitly, but the fear in her eyes was clear, "What if... what if he catches some disease, or gets into trouble? We're unfamiliar with everything here..."
Looking at her face pale with anxiety, my heart thudded, like my most hidden worry was poked.
Her worry was exactly the same as my worry for Xiaoyu!
That sense of powerlessness and fear gripped me instantly.
"Lili," I sighed, pulled her to the living room sofa to sit, also lowered my voice, "To be honest, Xiaoyu he... he's doing it too. And... and..." My throat tightened, I really couldn't say that he used my underwear, too shameful.
"And what?" Wang Li pressed, her eyes sharply looking at me, "Is it... he used your... personal things?" She asked vaguely, but the meaning was clear.
I looked at her in surprise, my face burning again: "How did you know? Does Xiaokai also..."
Wang Li nodded heavily, her face full of worry and embarrassment: "Exactly! I... my underwear hanging in the bathroom... one missing... later under his pillow... I was stunned, completely didn't know what to do, angry, scared, ashamed..." She looked at me, her eyes complex, hesitant, full of shared helplessness.
"Adolescence having such fantasies is... is normal, I guess." I tried to comfort her, like convincing myself, but obviously lacking confidence, "I told my husband, wait until he's done with this busy period, have him talk properly with Xiaoyu, guide him."
"Talk? How to talk?" Wang Li shook her head, her face disagreeing, "Sister Fang, you haven't grasped the key issue. You have your husband talk to him about this across the Pacific, what can he talk about? Talk about being safe? Talk about not learning bad? Isn't that reminding him, hinting at him? Originally he might just be secretly handling it himself, not thinking much, but with this 'education' from you, it might arouse his curiosity instead! He'll think, why is Dad specifically saying this? Is it really fun outside? Moreover, your husband as a grown man, how detailed can he talk with his son? Can he solve the real impulse and need in his body?"
Her words were like a basin of ice water, pouring over my head, making me instantly, and feeling a chill.
Thinking carefully, it does make sense.
Having my husband talk to our son about sex over the screen?
What depth can be achieved?
It might backfire, actually stirring up his desire to explore.
"Then what do you suggest?" I was a bit irritable, with a deep sense of powerlessness, "We as moms talk personally? Tell our sons 'Mom knows you're masturbating, and used my underwear'? Do we still want face? How can mother and son live under the same roof after? The kid will think we invaded his privacy, spied on him! Once this window paper is torn, the relationship changes completely!" Thinking of that scene, I felt suffocated.
After hearing me, Wang Li's face turned completely red, her expression extremely embarrassed, fingers tightly twisting together, knuckles white.
She was silent for a long while, then as if gathering all her courage, lifted her head, her eyes dodging, not daring to look at me.
"Sister Fang... I... these two days I couldn't sleep, I actually thought of an... an idea..."
"Have an idea, say it quick! At this point, what are you hesitating for!" I was like grasping a lifeline, urging eagerly.
She took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, eyes wandering: "But this idea... is a bit... a bit too outrageous, too... advanced, I'm afraid if you hear it... you can't accept it, call me crazy..."
Seeing her hemming and hawing, hesitant, I got even more anxious, like cats scratching inside: "Just say it! If you don't say, how do I know if I can accept? Good or bad, say it and we'll figure it out together! Quick!"
Wang Li took another deep breath, like jumping off a cliff, quickly glanced at me, her voice as faint as a mosquito, trembling: "Then you promise me, after I say it, you can't get angry, and can't scold me. We... we're both doing it for the kids, right? Only when there's no other way..."
"Okay okay, not angry, won't scold you, say it." I stared at her, heart in my throat.
"It's... 'swap sons'." She almost gritted her teeth, quickly spitting out four words.
I frowned, completely not understanding: "Swap sons? What do you mean? Let the two kids switch places to live for a few days? How does that solve the problem?" I completely didn't follow her train of thought.
"Oh no, not switching living!" Wang Li got a bit anxious, her face even redder, "I mean, you help me 'educate' Xiaokai, I help you 'educate' Xiaoyu. That is... about that aspect... physiological... guidance."
I was stunned for a moment, somewhat understanding: "Oh, you mean, let us go talk to them about sex knowledge? As an auntie, it won't be too embarrassing? Better than the biological mom speaking?"
"Yes! That's what I mean!" Wang Li's eyes lit up, like finding a confidant, but immediately that light dimmed, she lowered her head, voice even lower, almost inaudible, "Talking is definitely needed... but... but Sister Fang, the 'education' I mean... is not just talking... just relying on words... can't solve the energy in their bodies..."
I was confused by her, a vague ominous premonition rising in my heart: "Not just talking? Then what else? You... what exactly do you mean?"
Wang Li's face was red like it could drip blood, head hanging even lower, almost buried in her chest, voice faint as a mosquito, with a desperate abandon: "I mean... let you... be Xiaokai's... enlightenment teacher... the kind that's hands-on..."
"Enlightenment teacher? What enligh..." Before finishing, I suddenly reacted! My whole body's blood rushed to my head with a boom! A huge sense of absurdity and anger exploded instantly!
"Wang Li! Are you crazy!" I stood up abruptly, so angry my voice changed pitch, pointing at her, fingers trembling, "What's in your brain? You can say such things? You want me to do that with your son? You're insane! This is impossible!"