I was that girl with so many dream, and day and night thoughts. I never once ask for a thing but yet I had a list. A long list , I named the list of the universe, little nine years old me, I had a long list even about my future. Now this is me a teenager, i wonder what I wrote, and why I wrote it.
It's funny how I thought I could have all without tears, or hard work, I became the shadow of myself , I never let emotions in I cover all in a tears full of hope. I didn't notice what it did to me. Grades, worries, anger, everything was fighting at that time. I was in a cage I knew needed to come out off. Going to school, I and still feeling lonely was a word. Being in a group of girls, but feeling invisible was the worst feeling. And lying myself i fit in, was even the worsted.
Look at me today 13 years old me. I wonder tomorrow will do, how it will wake up. I doubt it will remember me, and all the tears in had in 2021-2024. But still who am I for the world to know. I got to the internet see kids younger, or my age, being famous, and has a life. I see girls prettier than me, I lose hope, of life. But here I am with a life list. I wonder if I will make, the list not just letters, but actions.
It's OK to feel left out, but invisible is another word. I see teen, in acting school, on Disneyland, and all that, aren't they my age. I ask my self with so much thoughts. Am I so unlucky. But all I think is I can never be them. I wonder if I will, travel around the world as planned, or just be me, I wondered if I will be seen some day or not. All this thoughts on a teen hearts alone, yet parents say teens don't have worries. But they lie, we have more than we can handle.
We have a smile, but at the same time a mask, that is UN seen, we cried in the restrooms, and smile in the light face. We go to school, act tough, but at home, we are just thinking 🤔 life on, we act like we don't care. But behind the wheel, we are scared, of life itself.
Now all i see are my grades, they are all that matter, because I want to be very successful in life, but what else those this life has for me. That's an UN answers.
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