The trip to the poor districts went, I would say, uneventfully. It wasn't my first time. I know how to move so as not to be noticed. Over the course of a year, I've learned how to get things done.
The thing is, poor people are desperate. They're willing to do crazy things for food. And I can't help everyone. I fill a bag with rice cakes—the cheapest food available—and hand them out to everyone I find. I try to look for children and feed them first. But I also have to make sure the adults don't attack the children. It has happened before.
I once gave a man something to eat. He thanked me tearfully. Half an hour later, I saw him beat three girls to death to take their food.
That day, I almost killed him myself.
He really made me angry back then. Fortunately, I managed to stop myself. But I didn't help him anymore, and when I saw him among the beggars, I walked past him. And when he saw me, he ran away too. The bastard knew it was only by a miracle that I had stopped.
There was another time when they attacked me to take provisions. They knew I would come again, so they waited for me. Fortunately, that time I was armed. It was just a simple knife, but together with my shunpo, it became a deadly weapon.
I didn't kill anyone. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I know that someday I'll have to, but I want to delay that moment for as long as I can. It's too hard to take a human life—especially for someone who is trying to save those lives.
But those incidents taught me a lesson. Kindness alone solves nothing. Goodness must be accompanied by fists. I help those I can, but I won't let anyone walk all over me. I may be a foolish fool who spends his time on useless pursuits, but I can't help myself.
Now I have a set of rules:
Don't talk to them.
Don't get to know them.
Don't be friends with them.
Don't listen to their pleas.
Don't give in to provocation.
Don't show your face.
Don't give your name.
Do everything in silence.
Leave when I think it's necessary.
Yes, it may sound cynical and cruel, but that's the way the world is.
That's why, dressed in a gray cloak with a deep hood, wearing gloves and dark clothes, I began to wander through the poor district, doing my simple job.
Over the course of a year of adventures, I even became a little disappointed in my goal. No matter what I do, it's a drop in the ocean. All I can do is prolong the suffering. No matter how hard I try, I'm only delaying the inevitable. I provoke many to attack me and make others victims.
I even thought about stopping, about not wasting my time like this anymore.
But then one day, I saw the results.
Recently, at our Academy, I met a couple of guys I had once helped. I helped them live an extra day, and now they've made it here. It may only be 3rd Class, but at least they have a future now.
Or that girl from 2nd Class who used to be afraid of every passerby. She was looking for money to treat her sick mother and wandered into the wrong place. I beat up her abuser and gave her some of my money. And now she's here. I don't know if I helped her mother, but she's alive, and that's good too.
But the most important incident happened a week ago. That's when I realized that all is not lost—that the world can change.
While walking around, I noticed a boy working in a smithy. He's small, still a child, but he helps out there. The work is hard and dirty, but he didn't lose heart and worked tirelessly. But if it weren't for me, he would have died of hunger.
I was happy for him—until I saw him buy food with his own money and give it to the poor. I was amazed by what I saw, and it inspired me.
It was that boy who gave me back my hope.
The world can change!
Little by little, bit by bit, but it is changing. I can already see it.
Tonight ended the same way. I gave food to everyone I found, and I even got medicine for one girl that should help her. Oh, if only I could learn healing kido.
But alas. To start attending the Basics of Kido class, you first need to pass Basics of Reiryoku, but at least we have the test for that soon. Thankfully, I managed to pass Spelling and Math.
And next week we have a test in Physical Training, after which we'll move on to the Basics of Hakuda. Of course, I'd like to improve my Hoho skills too, but that's an elective, and those subjects will be offered next year.
And now I'm going home. The night was easy, but against the backdrop of my studies, it's not an easy task.