Roy was walking through the Hogwarts courtyard with a migraine forming.
Grandparents… special guests… Dumbledore is definitely up to something.First he smiles at me like he discovered a new sweet in Honeydukes.Now he invites them…
Roy rubbed his temples as he walked.
That was when he heard yelling.
He turned the corner to find Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a full-blown shouting match, with their wands already half-drawn.
Harry: "Say that again, Malfoy!"Draco: "I will! You—"
Before either could fire a spell, "Moody" stomped over — the imposter Barty Crouch Jr., though no one but Roy knew that.
"Ah," Moody growled, grinning, "a duel between children? Let's make it interesting."
And with a dramatic flick of his wand—
Draco turned into a bouncing white ferret.
The courtyard exploded into laughter as "Moody" flicked his wand again, making the ferret shoot into the air and bounce repeatedly on the stone floor.
Harry: "Professor, maybe—"
Moody: "Not teaching him manners yet!"
Ferret-Draco squeaked in terror as he bounced like a rubber ball.
Roy sighed.
"Here we go…"
But then a spark hit his brain.
A wicked idea.A brilliant idea.A legendary idea.
He grinned.
If Moody wants to play with transformations… let's see his reaction when he becomes the star.
Roy subtly raised two fingers — and with silent magic and perfect precision, infused with just a drop of Conqueror's Haki—
Moody suddenly poofed into a full, round, pink pig.
The courtyard went silent.
PIG MOODY: OINK?!? (panicked)
He floated upward.
He spun in the air.
His little hooves flailed helplessly.
Then fate struck.
Ron Weasley — walking by at the wrong time, holding a plate of pumpkin pastries — looked up…
Just as Pig-Moody fell.
BOOM.
A cloud of pinkish-grey transformation smoke filled the corridor.
Everyone coughed.
The smoke cleared.
And the entire school froze.
Because in the mess of returning limbs, robes, and badly reversed transformations…
Ron Weasley and Professor Moody were accidentally kissing.
Not a polite touch.
A full, horrifying accidental face-to-face smush.
The crowd screamed.
Some ran.Some fainted.
Most vomited.
Dean Thomas: "OH MERLIN—WHAT IS THAT—"Lavender: "MY EYES—BURNS BURNS—"Seamus: "I'VE SEEN DEATH AND THIS IS WORSE!"
Harry turned GREEN.
Even Draco — now restored — fell to his knees, gagging.
Moody himself staggered back and puked violently into a bush.
Ron's retching echoed through the courtyard like a dying troll.
Someone finally shouted:
"WHO DID THIS?!"
Everyone looked around.
No one knew.
But far away, behind a pillar…
Roy casually walked away.
Hands in pockets.
Expression calm.
Heartbeat steady.
Mission accomplished.
Later That Day
Hogwarts had exploded with gossip.There wasn't a portrait, ghost, or student who didn't know.
They had even given the event a name:
"The Pig-Kiss Apocalypse."
Fred Weasley: "RONNIKINS MADE HISTORY!"George Weasley: "WE ARE NEVER LETTING YOU LIVE THIS DOWN."
Ron suffered.Moody suffered.The school laughed for days.
And the greatest part?
Not even Dumbledore could figure out who caused it.
But somewhere in the castle…
Roy smirked.
This is what happens when I'm stressed.