< Side: Hoshino >
That discord remains stuck in my head.
That discord remains stuck in my chest.
That discord remains stuck in my heart.
All the time, all the time, all the time.
The voice cursing me never ceases.
Forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever.
That unending discord, that discord that will not hold together, that broken thing—it remains discordant even now ──.
●○●○●
『Hellooo! It's a new generation of underclassmen (Kohai)! They are Hoshino-chan's juniors~!』 (■■)
「Yes, that is correct, ■■.」 (Hoshino)
『Shiroko-chan, and Nonomi-chan! Although Shiroko-chan was quite sharp-tempered and prickly, she has become such a lively girl... and Nonomi-chan too, she is truly a good student~』 (■■)
「Well, Shiroko-chan is a bit too mischievous, but...」 (Hoshino)
『And scolding her for that is also a Senpai's job! Just as I told Hoshino-chan, you must also do for Shiroko-chan... ── I hope my feelings reach her...』 (■■)
「I will do my best, and I will properly pass on what you taught me, ■■.」 (Hoshino)
Discord, discord; I no longer see the things I should have seen.
『Eh! The, the oldest!? Haaah... Hoshino-chan, who used to be so cute, became a third-year student before I knew it...』 (■■)
「That's right~, ■■■■. This "Old Man" (Oji-san) now has four juniors, and we even established a new committee too.」 (Hoshino)
『Ehehe... It seems you actually minded when I said you resembled an old person despite your cuteness...』 (■■)
「No need to get depressed; it's fine~, ■■, because "This Old Man" was happy about it.」 (Hoshino)
Discord, discord; I no longer hear the words I should have heard.
「I will continue to do my best to repay the debts from here on out, ■■.」 (Hoshino)
『── Really, I love that Hoshino-chan the most. I love the Hoshino-chan who acts like an old man too, but show your cool side to your new students as well, okay?』 (■■)
「... I understand that, ■■■■.」 (Hoshino)
Discord, discord; little by little, I am becoming unable to protect the things that must be protected.
The future that must be seen, the feelings that must be heard, the words that must be delivered, and the things that must be protected; because the discordant me does not know how to handle all of this.
While understanding nothing, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, and while my words fail to reach... I will protect what must be protected, even in this discordant state.
●○●○●
『── Serika-chan?』 (Hoshino)
At the girl's question, Okusora Ayane held her breath slightly.
Ayane is Okusora Ayane.
It was an ordinary question carrying no hidden meaning, a fleeting inquiry.
That query, tinged with bewilderment, was a perfectly natural reaction to the fact that a junior student had been kidnapped—a pressing issue for Ayane herself as well.
So she tried to reply; an affirmative response would take only a fraction of a second.
『────』 (Ayane)
However, Ayane's throat could not return the sound to her.
The immense pressure emanating from that girl was crushing Ayane's throat.
Those emotions resembling sludge had leaked from within her—emotions that should never be directed at a human being—and Ayane felt them clearly.
『... Sorry, I'll head there immediately, and I'll search the neighborhood too~. Don't worry! I think Serika-chan can easily take down a few delinquents!』 (Hoshino)
『A... Hoshino, Senpai...』 (Ayane)
Seeing Ayane's stiffened expression, the girl relaxed her facial features in panic.
She conceals what is discordant, thinks that being discordant is happiness, and believes that this discord is her reality.
The girl took off running.
●○●○●
『... Black Suit.』 (Hoshino)
『Kukuku, I have been waiting for you, Horus of the Dawn.』 (Black Suit)
I could not allow a bad adult to deceive me.
So as not to repeat the same mistake twice, so that what is precious to me is not hurt again, and so that I do not lose anything from my hands once more.
『── Natsuki Subaru?』 (Hoshino)
『Yes, I wish to obtain (detain) him.』 (Black Suit)
『... So Natsuki Subaru is the type of person you desire.』 (Hoshino)
『Certainly, for he is an entity that could become the greatest mystery in Kivotos.』 (Black Suit)
『That broken record again.』 (Hoshino)
It is my fault.
Again, someone will get hurt because of me.
The words of that man who claimed he wouldn't interfere were a lie, and when I returned, I found that two precious things were lost, and finally, I realized the truth.
『──』 (Hoshino)
『I'm sorry, Hoshino-senpai... They said they were going out to get some fresh air together, and after they left...』 (Shiroko)
『No, this isn't your fault, Shiroko-chan.』 (Hoshino)
Is it my fault again? Was I deceived again?
I wanted to pass on what I received from ■■ to the new generation (Kohai). I wanted to deliver the kindness I obtained from ■■ to the new generation. I wanted to save Abydos with the hands ■■ trusted. I wanted someone to look at me—I, who lives on after robbing ■■ of life.
I wanted to build what ■■ aimed for. I wanted to realize the dream ■■ spoke of. I wanted ■■ to see the current Abydos and smile innocently and happily. I wanted to restore Abydos as it would have been if ■■ were still alive.
I wanted to become ■■. I wanted to become kind like ■■. How I wished I could teach the new generation just as ■■ used to do.
■■, ■-enpai, ■-ume ■-enpai, I want to see you, Yume-senpai.
『───』 (Hoshino)
Discordantly, discordantly, for the sake of protection.
Discordantly, discordantly, so it won't be exposed.
Discordantly, discordantly, I solidify the dream.
I bring my discordant self, my discordant dream, and my discordant future closer to completion.
『Yume-senpai...』 (Hoshino)
Letting out a whimper that didn't even rise to become a voice.
『── I will not... believe anyone, ever, anymore.』 (Hoshino)
『How could I believe?』 (Hoshino)
Discordantly, discordantly, everything shifts off course.
●○●○●
『I am me, Hoshino.』 (Subaru)
『Natsuki Subaru, as you see.』 (Subaru)
I ended up meeting an existence called Natsuki Subaru.
『If a gun is pointed at me, I feel like I'll cry and scream from sheer terror, yet I never stop doing reckless things completely disproportionate to my abilities.』 (Subaru)
『I can't endure pain, I don't possess much resolve, and I don't have anything special.』 (Subaru)
『If I don't borrow someone's hand... I can't even stand on my own.』 (Subaru)
『── I don't want to die.』 (Subaru)
『I don't want to die!! I don't want to die! I! Don't!! Want to Die!!!』 (Subaru)
『I want... to survive...!』 (Subaru)
His back, trying to push forward with utter devotion, resembled Yume-senpai.
『Because... there are still people crying... because of me...』 (Subaru)
And so, even his weeping figure somehow overlapped with hers in my mind.
『Hoshino-chan.』 (Subaru)
In the end, I took his hand.
Soft skin, a body easily wounded; he is merely human, killable if I shoot him.
── He drove a car loaded with explosives; I must kill him.
── That mysterious chill made me imagine my own death; I must kill him.
── The broadcast planned after the suicide attack is terrifying; I must kill him.
── He is trying to use me, and Abydos; I must kill him.
So as not to be deceived, so Abydos is not taken from me, and to protect the new generation (Kohai), I brandished the resolve I had decided upon long ago.
I brandished it, raising it high.
『Hoshino-chan.』 (Subaru)
That self, unable to do it, was discordant (inconsistent) to the extreme.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Discordantly, discordantly, for the sake of protection.
Discordantly, discordantly, so it won't be exposed.
Discordantly, discordantly, I solidify the dream.
I bring my discordant self, my discordant dream, and my discordant future closer to completion.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
I won't be deceived.
How could I be deceived, having sworn never to trust anyone again.
「You and I are exactly alike, good only at embracing dreams and ideals like adults, reaching our hands toward things that will never come true.」 (Subaru)
Shut up.
「That is because you have given up.」 (Subaru)
「Crouching in place, believing there is no future where everyone becomes happy.」 (Subaru)
「What's the use of trusting that 'Bad Adult' more than you trust your younger students (Kohai)?」 (Subaru)
Shut up, shut up. I know, I know that well.
「... ── What are your ideals, then?」 (Hoshino)
「That everyone eats their meal smiling.」 (Subaru)
It is too late; why, now?
Why come now, after things have become 『completely like this』?
「Is that, the reason?」 (Hoshino)
「Yes.」 (Subaru)
I wanted to be saved sooner. Sooner, much sooner, when Yume-senpai was alive, when I lived side by side with Yume-senpai.
Why? Why didn't an existence saying words like these come before things turned out this way?
Why did you come now to expose this discord?
「If it were before things became like this.」 (Hoshino)
「Maybe I could have tried to hold onto that hand.」 (Hoshino)
Because of me, Yume-senpai died.
I killed Yume-senpai.
I ended Abydos.
── Because I met Yume-senpai.
── Because I called out to Yume-senpai.
── Because I was born into this world.
Everything was my fault.
Because of me, the new generation became unhappy.
Because of me, Serika-chan suffered.
Because of me, the two were kidnapped.
I torment those younger than me.
Everything was because of me.
Because I am the discordant one, I remained discordant, and lived a discordant life.
Before it ended like this, I wished someone would,
── I wished they would erase me from existence.
──────
『I'm moved because Hoshino is being so cute; I was just recalling our first meeting.』 (Subaru)
『That's because you were driving a car stuffed with bombs like a maniac.』 (Hoshino)
Don't be deceived.
──────
『The probability is very high. Conversely, if I said something like (Ah yes, yes, I know almost everything so leave it to me and step aside), Hoshino would shoot me, right?』 (Subaru)
『There's no such thing, yooou know~.』 (Hoshino)
──────
『This isn't... Hoshino and the girls' fault either... right...』 (Subaru)
『Why, why must you all go through such a cruel experience to this extent...!!』 (Subaru)
『If you keep accepting injustice and absurdity as if they were normal, the heart grows numb, and rots away (dies).』 (Subaru)
『So, yes, you are right...』 (Hoshino)
『Thank you.』 (Hoshino)
I won't be deceived. How could I be deceived? I won't believe, and it is impossible to believe.
Until the end, until the moment he shows his tail (true colors).
『Hoshino said the Abydos problem is Abydos's fault... ── but I don't think that's the only reason.』 (Subaru)
『I believe that somewhere, by someone, no matter how trivial...』 (Subaru)
『There was a moment when a helping hand could have been extended.』 (Subaru)
『───』 (Hoshino)
── Stop, that's enough.
『If a child falls before your eyes, you'd extend your hand, right? If someone is in trouble before you, you'd think of helping them even a little, wouldn't you?』 (Subaru)
── Enough, I understand.
『── Therefore, Hoshino, abandoning you ends here.』 (Subaru)
『Will you allow me... to help you?』 (Subaru)
── Please, don't make me doubt anymore.
『You...』 (Hoshino)
『Will you save us?』 (Hoshino)
『── Yes, but, it's slightly different.』 (Subaru)
『Me, Hoshino, Shiroko too, and everyone who will help me... we will do it together.』 (Subaru)
── I am tired even of doubting.
『...…』 (Hoshino)
『── I want to be saved. Will you... save me? Subaru.』 (Hoshino)
『Yes ──, definitely.』 (Subaru)
『If Hoshino says she wants help, I will do the impossible for that sake.』 (Subaru)
── Ah, I wish this hell would end quickly.
── I wish the discordant me isn't found.
── And all I hope for, is that the discordant me ends.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Discordantly, discordantly, for the sake of protection.
Discordantly, discordantly, so it won't be exposed.
Discordantly, discordantly, I solidify the dream.
I bring my discordant self, my discordant dream, and my discordant future closer to completion.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
『... ── Hoshino.』 (Subaru)
『What is it, Subaru.』 (Hoshino)
『── Don't push yourself.』 (Subaru)
──────....
『... That girl named Yume, she is a Senpai to Hoshino, isn't she?』 (Subaru)
『... That's right.』 (Hoshino)
『...』 (Subaru)
『She was... a good Senpai, wasn't she?』 (Subaru)
『──...』 (Hoshino)
『Juniors grow up watching the backs of those who came before them. When I look at Hoshino now, I see Yume's back as well.』 (Subaru)
『── She really is a good Senpai, that Yume.』 (Subaru)
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Discordantly, discordantly, for the sake of protection.
Discordantly, discordantly, so it won't be exposed.
Discordantly, discordantly, I solidify the dream.
I bring my discordant self, my discordant dream, and my discordant future closer to completion.
I became discordant, remained discordant, and the discordance multiplied until my original form was no longer recognizable. Even if I assumed a new shape, I still...
I will live in discord.
And I will end in discord.
In pursuit of a happy dream (Yume).
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
「Ah... at a time like this...」 (Hoshino)
As was her habit, she wandered until late at night, watching over Abydos in case of any emergency.
「── Subaru?」 (Hoshino)
His figure appeared in the view fully visible from the rooftop.
Tomorrow there will be a skirmish battle; if he catches a cold due to this night wind, it will hinder the plan.
「...」 (Hoshino)
She followed him, continuing to chase the path Subaru took.
She felt the sand grains mixed with the night breeze more sharply than usual, and the hand gripping the weapon became heavier and slower to respond than usual ──,
「────」 (Hoshino)
「──」 (Subaru)
「The Black Suit.」 (Hoshino)
More than the pain she felt back then, more than the sadness she felt back then, more than the suffering she felt back then, and more than the despair she felt back then.
「Just as I expected.」 (Hoshino)
「Until the end, until the very last moment... before I trusted him completely.」 (Hoshino)
「It is good that I managed to hold back and retreat.」 (Hoshino)
── Why was the feeling of relief in saying "It is good (that I didn't trust)" greater than any other feeling?
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