Return by Death. Its advantages.
Subaru had a reason for calling "Return by Death" an extraordinary authority. Consider the situations where this power comes into play: it means information warfare, strategic planning, and foresight. It encompasses the deployment of combat forces, evading fatal traps on the first encounter, and total situational awareness.
All excellent answers. If I were the grader... yes, I'd give those a ninety.
As for that wretched condition—having to die to return—I'll hold off on docking points for now. Normally, it would be like a driving test: "Wrong answer. You shouldn't die in the first place."
Yet, it remains a mere ninety. Ninety out of a hundred is far too low for a power like Return by Death. To earn a perfect score... let's see. If someone gave me a shoulder rub, maybe I'd grant them a hundred million points.
「Wait, Hoshino! I! Still!!」 (Subaru)
That "death," which one should despise, avoid, and flee from, becomes a golden opportunity to turn the tables through Return by Death.
I will say it hundreds, millions of times: Return by Death is no glimmer of hope for Subaru. It is a curse that denies him even the peace of the grave—an unrelenting despair that coils around him and never lets go.
That reality remains unchanged.
── However, if he must "exploit" it, Subaru must utilize that death to its absolute limit. He cannot afford to waste it.
『I am Suou Asagiri, Administrative Superintendent of the Highlander Academy Oversight Office.』 (Suou)
『Is this Yume Kuchinashi's diary?』 (Suou)
『── Fight me, Takanashi Hoshino. By defeating you, I will become the strongest, and thus fill the void within me.』 (Suou)
Through repeated deaths, Subaru realized the truth. Return by Death is a cruel, unjust power simply because of the "possibility of return."
Death is not simple. In fact, true death is elusive, something almost unimaginable...
No one reaches the peak of desperation more than the one intent on killing another. The killer exerts effort and vigilance far beyond that of their victim.
Yet, whatever choice Subaru makes, and whatever end he meets, a "next time" always awaits. He can take measures to prevent his own demise, while the opponent grows increasingly desperate to eliminate him.
A measure, a counter-measure, then a counter-counter-measure──spiraling in a cycle until...
The opponent faces a non-existent end. The more Subaru obstructs them—the more they wish for his erasure—the further that illusory finish line recedes.
As long as someone exists with a clear intent to kill, and as long as they keep killing Subaru──he can choose his actions again. Next time, he will be perfect; he will not repeat the mistake. He will seek causes, identify variables, create opportunities, and ultimately, seize victory.
That is the advantage of Return by Death; those are the extra ten points. It is a self-evident truth derived from the name itself:
── The fact that he can never truly die.
●○●○●
Suou Asagiri looked down at Subaru, who bowed deeply before her.
She knew nothing of this man, Natsuki Subaru, beyond the snippets in the news. He had never interested her. In truth, she hadn't given his existence a second thought—until his email arrived. She had no idea how he had reached her, but his private message was blunt: 『If you want to fight Takanashi Hoshino, I am the one who will arrange it.』
「... You expect me to join hands with someone like you?」 (Suou)
「That's right. I will take down Kaiser. I will win the Nephthys case for Abydos. I will even destroy 'The Thunder Emperor's Legacy.'」 (Subaru)
「Those 'Private Equity Funds'—the financial groups backing you from the shadows—I'll crush them too! It doesn't matter how much support they give you, Suou Asagiri!」 (Subaru)
「── You bastard.」 (Suou)
In a flash, Suou pressed her pistol against Subaru's forehead. The image of him as a "trivial man" vanished instantly; Natsuki Subaru had just ascended to her highest-priority target.
「You won't have a side to hide in anymore, understand? You have a choice: return to the academy without ever fulfilling your lifelong wish, or we fulfill it together in a way that leaves no one miserable!」 (Subaru)
「Two choices, and no third. For my sake, and for your wish... please, lend me your strength.」 (Subaru)
「──...」 (Suou)
「... You chose this meeting place well—a derelict building on the outskirts of Abydos, abandoned ages ago. No one comes here. It's far from the high school; even if Takanashi Hoshino hurried, it would take her minutes to arrive.」 (Suou)
「You have no means of communication that I can see, yet you came here knowing I possess 'The Thunder Emperor's Legacy'... Did you not think I would kill you?」 (Suou)
「── I did. I'm trembling with fear right now.」 (Subaru)
The man's hands were indeed shaking. The sweat beading on his brow betrayed his intense tension, and he carried nothing but a single pistol. Suou knew that whatever traps he might have set in this building, she could walk out without a scratch. Subaru was a mere human—fragile, physically weak, and utterly incapable of overpowering her.
「Then why do it?」 (Suou)
「Simple. Because some things can only be saved by risking your life.」 (Subaru)
「I see.」 (Suou)
Even with a gun to his head, the man's voice did not waver as he shouted his answer. Suou felt a strange sense of "familiarity" in his tone—a grim resonance born from a life spent enduring horrors and blood-soaked struggles.
「...」 (Suou)
Yet, Suou Asagiri could not pull the trigger.
Was it a loathing of murder? No; such a sentiment was trivial compared to the void in her chest. Was it because she needed to interrogate him about his knowledge of the Legacy? No; with the GSC President's device involved, information leaks were inevitable.
── It was anticipation.
A vague, formless expectation that this mysterious man might actually change something.
It is like watching a superhero movie and secretly wishing such heroes might be hiding in our real world too.
Or like when railway maintenance finishes ahead of schedule, sparking a fleeting hope that everything in your life will go right that day.
Or how those small, passing strokes of luck in your daily routine make you—someone who amounts to nothing—suddenly feel like a person of consequence.
「I am here to renounce the terror and madness lurking within Abydos.」 (Suou)
That expectation was faint, hollow, and nihilistic.
── It was the same absurd hope she had felt when she abandoned Nephthys.
「Is your goal to reach and detain Izayoi Nonomi?」 (Suou)
「...」 (Subaru)
「I assume so; Nonomi is currently the only person in Abydos who remains out of reach.」 (Suou)
「── Natsuki Subaru, are you asking me to betray Nephthys before you've even made your move?」 (Suou)
「Heh! A bit late for that question, don't you think? Especially for a triple agent playing every side.」 (Subaru)
「... Truly, exactly how much do you know?」 (Suou)
「Far more than you imagine.」 (Subaru)
Her eyes felt dry from the sheer intensity of his blunt response.
「...」 (Suou)
「... Fine. What is the price? Though I think I already know.」 (Suou)
「Mm-hmm.」 (Subaru)
That confident, mocking smirk on his face irritated her slightly, but... it wasn't unwelcome.
The gain: a battle with Takanashi Hoshino. The risk: losing her identity and status. ── It was a fair trade.
The conclusion felt inevitable, a foregone result.
I will take this strange man's hand for now. I'll exploit him when the time comes and then break away; I'll simply take what I need from him, as I always do.
「Very well. We have an alliance, Natsuki Subaru.」 (Suou)
「Tomorrow, I will lead you to the meeting between Izayoi Nonomi and the Council members.」 (Suou)
「In exchange, you will bring me face-to-face with Takanashi Hoshino at her absolute peak. Agreed?」 (Suou)
「Agreed. But stay away from Hoshino while we are allies. I don't want to arouse her suspicion.」 (Subaru)
「... Fine.」 (Suou)
The secret meeting ended as abruptly as it began.
She lowered her weapon. They did not shake hands; instead, each went their separate way. Subaru ran back, drenched in sweat, while Suou walked slowly toward the post she was assigned to guard.
Minutes later, she felt the grit of sand beneath her feet and noticed her boots sinking. Without realizing it, she had reached the Abydos desert. She hadn't intended to hurry, yet her pace had quickened unconsciously.
She couldn't remember boarding the train or reaching the desert. Her mind was so scattered she had lost track of herself, as if she were drifting away from reality.
「...」 (Suou)
Was it right to let it end this way? she wondered.
Yes, it was for the best. Probing further into Natsuki Subaru's affairs would only increase the danger. The goal was to conclude matters cleanly and simply, without unnecessary noise.
I misjudged his worth. Provoking him now is like stirring a nest of vipers; there is no guarantee that what crawls out will be a weak, small creature.
Even so, she would cooperate for now.
── He must be used to put an end to the void and nothingness within her.
「...」 (Suou)
Yes, she would use even Natsuki Subaru.
「───」 (Suou)
Yes, she had to deny the existence of Abydos.
With his help, it would be much easier. Yet he remained a threat, and in the end, she would have to deal with him herself.
「I will...」 (Suou)
You will crush Takanashi Hoshino and renounce everything that binds you to the school that made you.
── only then would she be reborn into this world.
「I will put an end to this emptiness.」 (Suou)
●○●○●
── I have done everything in my power.
I learned all there was to know, steered clear of every pitfall, and reached out to everyone I needed. In every situation, I chose the right path, dodged every fatal error, and acted with precision based on the intel I gathered. I also finalized the preparations to keep Suou Asagiri—that sudden, unforeseen hurdle in my path—from ever crossing Hoshino's way.
「...」
Nothing remains to worry about. If anything, my previous encounters with Suou Asagiri in past "Return by Death" cycles always ended in my certain demise. She is the spitting image of that "Scissorman" slasher from Clock Tower... no, wait. That bastard usually fled after a sound thrashing, so the comparison doesn't hold. Regardless, I want to believe the "accumulated experience" I've gathered is finally paying off.
My first encounter with Suou occurred when I stepped into a dead zone beyond Arona's detection. Suou Asagiri sat there alone, guarding the "Thunder Emperor's Legacy"—the lost weapon of mass destruction. While her combat prowess didn't quite rival Hoshino's, it was staggering... She was like a vengeful ghost, driven by a fire burning deep within.
Hoshino never met her without losing her composure and spiraling out of control, especially when Suou used "Yume Kuchinashi's Diary"—a memento of the late Yume—as bait to provoke her. Shiroko and I alone could never have saved Hoshino from that agony.
The moment the battle against Kaiser begins, Suou moves on her own as if guided by an invisible hand. She ignores every distraction and charges straight for Hoshino. To me, she is the Reaper; encountering her means an inevitable "Instant Death Event." Suou stops at nothing to reach Hoshino, and she has, more than once, casually put a bullet through my skull.
「... Thank God. Thank God I wasn't killed this time...」 (Subaru)
My heart won't stop pounding—though perhaps it's just the physical strain of running. Nausea and a piercing headache hit me, and my tongue is bone-dry. Damn it, heatstroke and severe dehydration are taking their toll.
「Where on earth am I!? Which way is Abydos High School!?」 (Subaru)
「Arona~... Lady Arona...! I'm the one who left you, but can't you come back to me, just for now?」 (Subaru)
「...」
「Aaaargh! Damn it!! This is no time for jokes!!! After everything I've done! Am I really going to die of dehydration like some pathetic moron!?」 (Subaru)
Heh. Truly, what a situation.
「I will never let myself die here──!」 (Subaru)
I have no time for pain, or whimpering, or bitter tears. I have no intention of running away, even as the hardships that make a man want to flee pile up one after another.
And yet, I have received so much help.
The Prefect Team wasn't part of my plan; they were pure support sent by Hina. And that student whose name I still don't know—the one from the "Momo Friends" club, whatever "Momo Friends" is—brought the rest of her members to help.
When I broadcasted the situation, everyone rushed to my aid. Those small bonds will one day forge a grand alliance. Seeing them come to the rescue for the "first" time, I couldn't hold back my tears of gratitude.
── Because for every one of those times, I was forced to watch their lives snuffed out before my very eyes.
The "Thunder Emperor's Legacy" unleashed its power. In a heartbeat, bodies evaporated. Countless souls vanished from existence, and with them, Natsuki Subaru.
Hoshino spiraled out of control. This was not like the first time; she claimed many lives. I was not the only one to disappear; other souls were wiped from this world along with me.
I keep my hands and feet moving, straining every nerve to tether myself to the next opportunity.
「Kana... I must thank her when I return...」 (Subaru)
The report I sent to Kana through that "love letter"—which hid a GPS tracker to pinpoint every movement—was meant to ensure she seized the opening I had carved out. I hoped she wouldn't let it slip away. I believed in her; I knew that because she sought to change, she would take this step forward.
「...And Hina, too...」 (Subaru)
「...」
「Tomorrow... there is still a tomorrow.」 (Subaru)
── No matter how things unfold, this favorable sequence of events will end with the close of this day.
If only Subaru possessed the coldness to walk past a withered flower on the roadside without a second thought, his life would be far more comfortable.
「The 'me' from the first day would be struck dumb with shock if he saw what I've become.」 (Subaru)
The man who once wailed over a mere bullet graze now maintains his sanity while growing accustomed to deaths that leave his body in ash.
── No, I have become abnormal.
I am a freak; my soul is shattered. Something inside me has snapped, yet my actions still mimic a normal human being. My psyche has shifted; I am an entirely different entity from the person who first arrived in this world.
My mental circuits are misfiring. The real Subaru was never capable of crafting plans while grasping the movements of others with such precision.
I have died so many times, in so many ways. Hoshino herself was the primary cause of my demise. The echoes of my own death rattles still haunt my mind. My head throbs with the agony of those final moments. My "library of deaths" is nearly exhausted.
I was captured by Kaiser's men, letting out hollow, broken screams—『Gah! Guh! Gyaaa!』—before escaping, only to end up dying under the weight of slow, agonizing torture.
When Hoshino loses control, she lets out a cry—『Gii, yaaaaa!』—and her heat beam cleaves my body in two. Or she pins me down and hurls me from a rooftop, leaving me to experience a "horrific" plunge that forces out a desperate gasp—『Fu-he』. Or Suou takes me hostage and subjects me to wretched torment while I scream—『── Gieh, oh, aaaaaaaaaaaaa!』. I faced such degrading treatment—『Ah... gah...』 ── 『Oh... guh... ah?』 ── 『Ooo』 ── 『....』.
Scorching heat erased my existence.
Skull, limbs, torso, entrails, and flesh—everything that made me human dissolved into blood and vomit.
Explosions, shattering bones, crushing weight; my nerves were played like harp strings, bullets pierced my soul, and my heart burst.
The pain burns through my brain, accompanied by a heat and a sense of loss beyond words.
Pain. Suffering. If memories define a person, then Subaru is nothing but a worthless husk forged from agony and torment.
「Will we all be able to eat together tomorrow?」 (Subaru)
I am worthless.
There was never any value.
Natsuki Subaru's thoughts, his actions, his schemes, his efforts, his hopes, and his memories—they are all equally meaningless.
They should be meaningless.
── And yet, there is someone who gives this pain—this suffering that Natsuki Subaru endures—a sense of "value" and meaning.
「Today... today... this way, I've become okay...」 (Subaru)
The day draws to a close—a day defined not by grand events or extraordinary feats, but by simple, collective effort.
Arona, Shiroko, Hoshino, Hina, Kana, Rin, Ako, unnamed students, the Prefect Team from Gehenna, the Momo Friends Club, Suou, and countless other students across Kivotos; they all simply worked together.
「... And as much as I loathe admitting it, even the man in the Black Suit played his part.」 (Subaru)
If one considers Subaru worthless, then that man—Black Suit—who recognized some value in my existence and reached out, cooperated too. Kaiser Corp, however, remains entirely out of the question.
「...」
「My throat is parched.」 (Subaru)
Even though his planning ensured everything ran smoothly, Subaru's body remained unchanged: fragile, human flesh. Navigating a labyrinthine wasteland—where he had perished so often from sheer exhaustion in past lives—without a single drop of water was an impossibility.
Unfortunately, every ounce of liquid he drank at lunch had long since evaporated. Now, the evening sun dipped below the horizon in a final farewell. He had to return before the gates closed.
Will I die here because I miscalculated my own physical limits? What a disgraceful, shameful end—one I haven't even experienced before. True, dying of thirst isn't new, but...
This time, the "Death" I once thought distant drew near, its footsteps clear and unmistakable. We have embraced many times before; it seems Death loves Subaru as much as he loves it, for it rushes to meet him once more.
「Enough... with you...」 (Subaru)
── Spare me the stories of our romance and passion. No matter how often I embrace you, I feel only your chill—the warmthless cold of the grave.
「...」
His vision blurred. His arms lost all strength. Sand clung to the track jacket he had draped over his shoulder. His breath grew shallow, and his eyelids felt like lead. Once more, he collapsed face-first into the dirt, his body failing him.
His throat burned; his lips cracked. He lacked the energy to even shed a tear of regret.
「...」
Ah, if memories truly define a man.
Ah, if everything loses its worth under the lash of agonizing pain.
「── ru」
「... m...?」
「── baru!」
The ones giving value to this suffering, right here and now, are ──.
「Subaru!!」
「Mr. Subaru!」
「... Truly, you two are the best companions I could ask for.」 (Subaru)
「── Arona, Shiroko.」
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