I awoke the next morning emotionally drained and entirely exhausted. When my eyes fluttered open, I stared at the ceiling for some time before the pressure on my bladder prompted me to movement.
When I rolled over, I stopped and stared.
There was the knife, sitting on my bedside table.
It shimmered gently in the early morning light, not quite transparent, but almost, as though if I just looked at it long enough it would wink out of existence. I raised a hand and prodded it with one finger, shifting it the side.
Looked solid enough to me.
When the door opened and Nicole poked her head in, though, she didn't so much as glance at it. "Morning, love. How are you?"
I mumbled something and climbed out of bed, yawning. I plodded across the thick carpet to the bathroom and heard a soft gasp behind me. When I looked back, Nicole was almost grinning. "You're walking's improved."
It took me a moment, but I realised that it had. There was no hesitation or trembling limbs. No weakness or need for support. I felt… fine.
A glance back at the blade on the bedside table left me thoughtful enough to go through the motions of my morning ablutions without any real thought. It was only as I climbed back into bed that I realised I hadn't freaked out once.
Perhaps I was adapting to my new body.
My gaze shifted to the knife. There was something about the way it shimmered that called to me. It wanted me to hold it. Wanted to be used. It was a chilling reminder that it was constructed of the worst parts of me and bound by too little good.
I shuddered and avoided so much as looking at it.
Breakfast was brought and Nicole sat on the edge of the bed watching as I ate and chattering about the latest gossip. It comprised of a lot of nonsense I cared nothing about concerning the neighbours and various friends and hangers on of Nicole's social circle, but I listened and nodded at appropriate moments and filed it all away, certain that it would come in useful later.
I remained in bed for the rest of the day, moving only to occasionally use the bathroom. It was quiet and comfortable. There were no screaming kids or loud music from next door. No steady hum of traffic. Just birds, singing in the tree outside my window.
Nicole kept up a steady stream of food and drinks throughout the day, and Alan popped his head round the door a couple of times to check on me. He'd opted to work from home, I gathered, better to be close should I need anything.
It was… nice.
I felt cared for in a way that I'd begun to realise I never had before.
There was no doubt my dad was a piece of shit. A junkie who'd knocked up Mum and disappeared one night never to be seen again. She was no better, coping with her shitty life with a steady stream of booze and abusive boyfriends.
I was largely ignored.
Amy, my little sister, wasn't. At least not by Mum.
For the longest time she slept in my bed whenever Mum had a new boyfriend staying over. I never got much sleep those nights, but Amy was safe. Which was all that mattered.
Now she was alone.
I took Chloe's laptop and opened it up. A moment of loading and I was presented with a screen demanding a four-digit pin before I could gain access.
My fingers moved without thought, tapping in a number and pressing the enter key and access was granted.
For the longest moment I stared at that screen, my fingers hovering over the keys, and wondering how much of Chloe remained in this body I wore.
It scared me a little.
Hell, more than a little.
Amy's social media was easy to find, and I followed her and sent friend requests as required. Those requests were accepted almost instantly, and I was suddenly one of the hundreds of people in her friends list that she had never met.
I looked for her latest posts first. There were photos. A casket, sitting alone on a platform in a wood panelled room. Empty benches and a sad bouquet of flowers. A small photo of me, one of those taken for school and fitted in a cardboard frame.
Cheap.
Benny, eyes red rimmed as he lurked at the back of the room. Mum, dry eyed and stoned out of her mind on the front pew, her latest boyfriend sipping from a flask as they waited for the ceremony to start.
Amy, all alone. Eyes red and cheeks damp.
A sad message of farewell posted for all to see and then nothing since.
My chest ached as though I could feel her pain and my own eyes shimmered with tears threatening to fall.
Mick, Mum's boyfriend, wasn't the type to creep into Amy's room on a night at least. He would get drunk and give her or mum a good slap, but that was the extent of it usually. If he got really drunk and Mum started a fight, it might be more than just a slap, but those were rare.
The last time had been the night I'd stolen the car with Benny. Drunk and high, driving too fast and desperate to feel something but the rage and humiliation of how he'd knocked me about.
With a sigh, I closed the laptop and leant back.
Amy was safe. For the moment. Chloe's body was healing, and I would soon be able to leave the house and go check on her in person.
That would have to do.
For now, at least.
"Chloe," Nicole said, opening the door. "You have a visitor."
Crap. "Who?"
"Come down and see."
Double crap. That couldn't be good. I would be expected to know them.
I climbed out of bed and Nicole passed me a fluffy pink robe. I slipped it on without comment and followed her downstairs, my slippered feet making little noise on the thick carpets.
There's been little chance to see much of the house when I was carried in last night, so I got my first real look as light streamed in through the windows. While I was no expert on such matters, I could tell that it was tastefully decorated, clean, tidy and everything was new and expensive.
No ratty couch stained and torn. No knock off TV or games console that had been nicked. It was so… different, to what I was used to.
Alien.
Like the body I wore.
A shiver ran through me as I let Nicole lead me through to the kitchen where a guy was sitting at the white, marbled counter. He had a glass of orange juice and looked up expectantly as I came in.
Shaggy, blonde hair that fell across a handsome face with a chiselled jawline and eyes, bright and eager as a golden retrievers. Broad shoulders and narrow waist, he moved like an athlete as he rose from the stool he sat on and crossed to where I stood.
Nicole gave a sly smile and quickly slipped out of the room as I was engulfed in a bear hug.
I gave a soft squawk, and he immediately released me.
"Oh, God, are you okay? I didn't hurt you, right?"
"I'm good," I said, looking him over quizzically and wondering who he was. For once, Chloe's memories were providing no answer.
"Thank God," he said, pulling me into a gentler embrace. "I've missed you so much."
My eyes widened as his lips pressed against mine, and I had a moment's panicked thought of, 'A guy is kissing me!' before I remembered I was Chloe now, and it wasn't gay.
Though it kind of was.
He released his hold on me, and I stumbled back, grabbing for the counter to steady myself. "Ah… yeah… missed you too."
Boyfriend.
Shit. Of course, Chloe had a boyfriend.
I should have seen that coming.
The guy took my hand and pulled me across to counter where he patted a stool, indicating I should sit. I did, without comment, as I bit my lip and desperately wracked my brain, hoping some random memory of Chloe's would pop up with a name.
It didn't.
He asked me a few questions that I tried to answer. General stuff about how I was, and what had happened at the hospital. I deflected, I lied, I did everything I could to appear normal. All while he kept a tight hold on my hand.
I couldn't help noticing it was tiny and entirely engulfed by his.
"Brooke said she'd be back from Uni this weekend. Zara too! They're desperate to see you." His smile slipped for a fraction of a second. "They said you aren't answering messages."
"Ah… coma," I said, shrugging as I wondered what was a decent amount of time to wait before I could pull my hand away from his. "Been a bit busy with that."
"I know, I get it," he reassured me quickly. "You know what they're like."
Not really.
But I was starting to think I would need to get some idea before they turned up at the weekend. Not that I was even sure when that was. My concept of time was all over the place and I had no idea even what day it was.
Guessed I'd better find out.
"Kevin," Nicole said, poking her head into the kitchen with a knowing smile, almost a smirk. "Why don't you bring her through to the living room. It will be more comfortable for her."
"Of course, Mrs Bennet," he said, rising and pulling me with him. "Will be better for you."
"Sure."
To my utter dismay, he kept a firm grip on my hand as he ushered me through to the living room like some hulking mother duck guiding her ducklings. I figured I was right. He had the personality of a golden retriever, all helpful, sweet and nice.
The kind of guy I would have beaten up and robbed when I was back in my own body.
I watched him from the corner of my eye and silently wished I still was.
We settled on the couch, entirely too close together for my liking and he finally let go of my hand. Only to slip an arm around my waist and pull me close to rest against him, with an ease that startled me.
I considered fighting it, but I could practically feel Orryn's breath on my neck, so I gritted my teeth and rested my head on his broad chest. His heart had a steady beat, and his body was warm in a way that I missed. Chloe's always felt so cold.
He talked for a while about the various people in his life and what he'd been doing. He'd deferred University, opting instead to get a job close to home so that he could be nearby while Chloe was in the hospital.
It was sweet, and entirely sappy. Just the sort of thing a lovesick puppy would do. Putting his life on hold for a girlfriend who might never wake up.
I rolled my eyes, grateful that he couldn't see me do so and listened as I tried to avoid sighing.
Turned out, it was actually useful. He filled me in on a great deal of Chloe's life as he chattered, and I filed away as much of it as I could until I found myself dozing off. His big hands gently stroking my head as I listened to the beat of his heart, the heat of his body warming me like I was a lizard on a rock in the hot sun.
It was comfortable. Calming, and dare I say it, safe.
"You're drooling," he said, as I blinked and looked up. He was bent forward so that he could look me in the face, and I wiped absently at my mouth.
"Huh?"
"You fell asleep, babe."
"I did?"
"Yeah." His smile was warm, and I returned it without thinking. My head was fuzzy, and I yawned, covering my mouth with the back of my hand. "Tired."
"I'll get out of your way," he said, glancing at his watch. "Need to get back and check on Mum anyway. She'll need her meds soon."
Which was something that I guessed I was supposed to understand. But I didn't, so I just nodded and smiled.
He leaned in and kissed me, full and solid, like he'd rehearsed it or had at least had lots of practice. Tongue too! My stomach churned in a way I couldn't blame on Chloe.
Oh God.
He pulled back, smile widening and gave me a salacious wink. "You get better, babe," he whispered, eyes flicking to the door to check the parents weren't listening. "The sooner you're healthy, the sooner I can show you just how happy I am you're back."
"Sounds good," I lied and then paused. "Wait… what?"
He just grinned and rose to his feet. He towered over me at six foot two, and I had a sudden flash of memory. Hot sweaty face looking down at me, his warm hazel eyes fixed on mine, and a deep rush of pleasure.
"Oh… God…."
I turned my head, watching him go, and then shook my head.
That was most definitely not happening.
Squeezing my eyes shut I pinched the bridge of my nose, that memory hanging in my mind and refusing to leave.
Chloe's memory.
How many more of them would I get?
I shuddered.
What type of memory would I get?
I rose from the sofa and headed back to my room. I needed my phone, and laptop, and a deep, deep, dive into Chloe's life. I needed to know what to expect before I was caught by surprise again.
Then I needed to find a nice way to dump her boyfriend.