HOW TO FIND A DEMON
I frowned at the laptop screen and pressed the enter key.
Okay, yeah, I'm not the smartest student. I wasn't all A* and admission to freaking Cambridge University, like Chloe, but it was worth a try.
My frown deepened as the first search result was about D&D and the second, a Reddit post. I closed the laptop and set it aside, lower lip out as I sulked.
"What's up, babe?"
Kevin looked up from the book he was reading on his phone. Some arcane law text that he was reading for fun or something. He might look like the all-star athlete, but he was a law nerd who read for fun.
"Just trying to figure something out and I can't."
"You want some help?" The corners of his mouth lifted in a wry smile. "Or maybe some sexy time." He ran one finger lightly along my leg, past my knee and up my thigh… which clamped shut, almost instinctively.
"No chance, buddy," I said, smiling primly as I cringed inwardly.
"Why not?"
"No booze, no booty," I quipped back, laughing at his expression. "If I'm too ill for a drink, then surely I'm too ill for that too."
"I hardly think that tracks."
Grinning, I reached back for a pillow and lobbed it at him. He ducked, slipping off my bed as he did so and I did laugh at him then. He popped his head back over the side and grinned.
"Glad to see you smile."
"Feels good," I agreed, and it did.
The despair that clung to Harehills like low-lying fog was oppressive and had dragged at me as we'd driven around the deprived area. Kevin hadn't questioned, which was good as I had few answers, but I'd looked, really looked, and not liked what I'd seen.
Three demons in as many hours told me something was wrong. A quick search of the local news was telling too. Crime was way up, in the area. Petty crime, assaults, rapes and there'd been a murder the night before too.
While not entirely unusual for that area, the quantity of violence and crime was.
It had been growing for some time, and I'd not noticed, even as I lived in the area. Too consumed with my own petty larceny and acts of mindless vandalism to notice what was happening to everyone else.
Kevin climbed back onto the bed, and sprawled beside me, head resting on his hand. "You want me to stay?"
I flicked a glance his way, lips twisting. I had no idea how to answer that.
He held his hands up, "No hanky-panky, I swear."
"Hanky-panky?" I sniggered. "You are so old."
"An old soul," he agreed, grinning. "What do you think? I'm not due back at work till Monday and Dad's home tonight to check on Mum."
Chloe was 19, so it wasn't unreasonable to expect that her parents allowed her to have guys stay over. I didn't exactly fancy the idea of spooning with some hulking bloke in his underwear, but I wasn't sure how to say no without cocking things up.
Besides, I needed him to drive me back to Harehills first thing as the parents wouldn't be letting me out alone anytime soon.
"Sure," I said, through gritted teeth. "But, I'm serious, mister." I wagged a finger at him. "No funny stuff."
"Whatever you say, babe."
His grin was less golden retriever and more wolf, but I had a good enough feel for him to suspect he wouldn't try anything without a clear and very welcoming sign, inviting him to do so.
I tried again with the laptop.
Once I scrolled past the social media posts and game related crap, I found a few blogs and forums that had people who seemed to know what they were talking about. The blogs made interesting reading and for a little while, I got caught up in it all.
But it was all fairly esoteric, a lot of theory and discussion about the ethics and morality of such matters. Little of practical use.
The forums were a little better and I delved into those for a while, following some discussions that started about the how of summoning and devolving into a general back and forth about why there was so much demonic energy about lately.
BLACKCATMUSTARD, posted that day about an increase in the chaos hotspots which sounded interesting. There were few replies, a couple of them clearly cranks, but at least one seemed to offer agreement and a suggestion that it boded ill.
I made an account with the name SecondHandSoul and sent a private message to the user, asking to speak with them sometime and adding a few sparse details.
Setting aside the computer, I yawned and stretched languidly. It had been a long and stressful day and while my new body was recovering faster than I'd thought, my energy levels were still low.
"Tired?"
"Yeah," I agreed. "Gonna go wash up."
I hopped off the bed and padded across to the bathroom, stopping to grab some pyjamas. Kevin didn't comment about my sudden shyness, and I wasn't about to try and give answers. Long and short of it, though, was that I really wasn't comfortable with my new body and definitely not ready to show it off to someone else.
Especially since I could barely bear to look at it.
It was stupid, I know. But, there was something just wrong about looking down and seeing breasts. I knew that if I took a moment to look lower down, I may well burst into tears and curl up into a little ball of abject despair.
Apparently, my masculine ego was just that fragile.
Nothing I could do about it though except give it time. And, maybe a lot of alcohol too before I tried to get used to it.
Till then, I flushed the toilet and washed up before brushing my teeth. She had good teeth, at least, which was nice. I'd lost one in a fight with a boy at school and my mum wasn't exactly parent of the year when it came to dental care.
Spitting the toothpaste froth out, I wiped my mouth and quickly changed into the pyjamas. Then, deep breath, and out into the bedroom where I came to a sudden stop.
Kevin stood beside the bed like he'd stepped out of fitness ad – all easy strength and casual grace. The fairy lights caught on his skin, outlining muscles I'd only ever seen in magazines and definitely, never on me.
He peeled off his shirt, and I tried to look anywhere else. Really, I did. But Chloe's body had other ideas. Her pulse – my pulse – jumped, heat flaring low in my gut. It was unfair, like my own body had joined the enemy team.
Kevin folded his clothes with a maddening neatness, setting them on the chair and looked up. Our eyes met. He smiled, shy and sweet, and my cheeks burned so hot I thought they were on fire.
This really wasn't good.
I dived beneath the covers and pulled them up to my neck before rolling onto my side. A mistake, I realised, as he slipped in beside me, his arm hooking casually around my waist and pulling me close.
His breath was hot on my neck and there was a scent, beneath the soft remnant of his cologne, a smell that was all him. God help me, I liked it.
Sleep was a long time coming and true to his word, Kevin didn't do anything more than hold me.
All bloody night.
I was grumpy and confused when I woke after finally managing a few hours sleep. Not him though, no, he stretched and smiled as though he'd had the best sleep of his bloody life.
"Morning, babe."
My reply wasn't fit for repeating and I headed to the bathroom to shower.
"Want me to join you?"
I slammed the door shut. A firm no.
Gripping the edges of the sink, I stared at myself in the mirror. There were dark smudges beneath my eyes, and my skin was pale, my hair a tangled mess, like I'd been dragged through a bush backwards.
For a long moment, I stared, chewing my lower lip.
I wasn't gay.
But Chloe was very straight.
That was going to be a problem.
A bigger problem being that I had to face it. Head on. Get it finally set right in my head. I didn't have to do anything, but I did need to get comfortable with my new body.
Which meant at least being able to look at it.
With trembling fingers, I unbuttoned the pyjama top and slipped it off. My gaze followed the lines of my body in the mirror. Slim. Pale skin. Narrow waist and small breasts. Okay, I could manage to live with that.
Pyjama bottoms next.
I swallowed, suddenly nervous.
Knickers.
My eyes were closed, and I sucked down a deep breath before opening them and staring at myself. At that place between my legs where my maleness had been.
"Okay," I breathed. "See. Not too bad. It's not the end of the world. It doesn't make you less of a man."
Which was bloody stupid. There was nothing male about this body.
My eyes filled with tears. Sorrow at what I had lost hitting me harder than I'd ever expected. I wanted to be me again. I desperately needed that.
"That's enough of that," I said, shaking my head, and brushing the tears angrily from my eyes.
Find the demon. Do as Orryn asked. Repay my debt, and I could make another bargain.
Get my body back.
My shower was brusque, almost mechanical. A going through the motions of cleaning the body so that I could function. That's all I needed to do.
When I was finished, I dried off and wrapped a towel around myself before heading back into the bedroom.
Kevin was out of bed and striding across the room to me immediately. "What's wrong?"
I didn't say anything as he pulled me into his arms. I just burst into tears.
Pathetic.
But I couldn't help it. I was crying for the loss of who I was. The person I had been hadn't been anyone of worth, not really, but I had been me.
Which is all I wanted right then.
I cried for a while, mourning the loss of the man I had been, and when I was done, I wiped at my eyes and looked up into Kevins.
"Thank you." There was nothing more that needed to be said. I pulled away and glanced back at the open door. "Bathrooms all yours."
He seemed to understand my need to leave it alone and he went to ready himself for the day without comment. I rifled through Chloe's chest of drawers muttering until I found a pair of knickers that wasn't entirely made of lace or a thong.
I still wasn't ready to wear a bra, but with a snort of irritation for how much of a baby I was being, I grabbed the plainest one I could find and managed to put it on without injury or harm to my mental wellbeing.
Sitting on the bed, I dried my hair with the towel and then reached across and flipped open the laptop. I wasn't expecting much, but if there was any hint of an answer before we set off to drive randomly around Harehills again, I was willing to try for it.
The worst of my moping and feeling sorry for myself was done with, I thought. With that minor breakdown, had come some form of acceptance. I wasn't entirely comfortable in my new body, but I wasn't going to meltdown every time I caught a glimpse of my boobs when I ducked my head.
Nor would I fight the need to try and live the life as Chloe had lived it.
Though I did draw the line firmly in the sand at the idea of sex with Kevin.
Once he was done helping me, I would dump him and begin dating girls.
A thought that didn't bring the tingle of excitement rushing through my body I'd expected.
Maybe I'd become a nun.
My thoughts stopped as I saw there was a reply to the message I'd sent last night and I eagerly clicked on it, opening it up in a separate window. It was short, and very much to the point, and I read it twice.
It had been posted at 3:08am and simply said, "WE SHOULD MEET," then gave an address.
"Kevin," I called to be heard over the sound of the running shower. "Hurry up, we have to go for a drive."
To get some answers, and perhaps, a chance to get out of this body, and back into mine.