WebNovels

Chapter 1 - Author's Note: Welcome to the Chaos

Hey there, fellow degenerate webnovel readers!

Yes, I see you. Scrolling at 2 AM. One more chapter, you said three hours ago.

I'm your brand new author, and like you, I've spent way too many hours of my life devouring cultivation stories, isekai adventures, and watching protagonists go from "wimpy office worker" to "continent-destroying god" in 2000 chapters. So naturally, I thought: What if the protagonist actually struggled with that transformation? What if becoming powerful came with a real price?

Enter Bandit System: I Just Want To Go Home

What You're Getting Into:

Meet Hunter: a 33-year-old insurance adjuster from Boston whose most exciting life decision was choosing between three identical mugs. His girlfriend left him. His apartment smells like cheap pizza. His plant refuses to die out of spite.

Then he wakes up in a fantasy cultivation world with a system that was supposed to turn him into a hero... except it glitched, picked the wrong guy, and turned him into a bandit lord instead.

Oops.

This is a story about a fundamentally decent person being forced into increasingly terrible choices. It's funny when Hunter's trying to figure out how to work a cultivation system like it's bad customer service software. It's dark when he realizes there's no customer service number to call for help. It's sad when he looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize what he's becoming.

Expect:

Moral complexity (no easy answers)

Dark humor (because if you don't laugh, you'll cry)

Actual consequences (actions have weight here)

Cultivation mechanics that make sense (no 500-chapter power level inflation... probably)

A protagonist who misses Big Macs more than he should

The Deal:

Minimum 5 chapters per week. That's my promise to you. Probably Monday through Friday because weekends are when I frantically outline and question my life choices.

BUT and here's where you come in: if this story takes off, I'll absolutely increase that. More readers = more motivation = more chapters. Simple math.

How You Can Help This Story (and Feed My Ego):

Add this to your library! It tells the algorithm that actual humans are reading this, not just my mom (hi Mom).

Drop a review! Honest feedback helps me improve, and ratings help others find the story. Even if it's just "neat, I liked the part where he freaked out about the two moons," that helps.

Power Stones! Throw them at me. I will catch them. I need them for... power. Obviously.

Comment! Tell me your theories, point out typos, yell at Hunter for his decisions. I read everything and it genuinely makes my day.

Share it! Know someone who likes morally gray protagonists and cultivation? Send it their way. Fair Warning:

This is my first published work. I'm learning as I go. There will be typos I miss. There will be pacing hiccups. But I'm committed to finishing this story and making it the best it can be. Your patience and feedback mean everything.

Also, Hunter is going to make some choices that will make you uncomfortable. That's intentional. This isn't a power fantasy where everything works out cleanly. It's a story about what happens when a normal person gets trapped in circumstances they never wanted, and has to live with what they do to survive.

TL;DR: New author. Cultivation story with actual moral weight. 5+ chapters a week. Please don't let me scream into the void alone. Add to library, review, and let's see if Hunter ever gets that Big Mac.

Now, let's watch a man from Boston try to figure out what the hell a "dantian" is.

See you in Chapter 1.

— Your Sleep-Deprived Author

P.S. If you're reading this far into the author's note, you're the real MVP. Drop a comment so I know you exist. Let's be friends. Or at least internet acquaintances who judge fictional character decisions together.

More Chapters