Tim Drake, the third Robin, sat with handcuffs and ankle chains in front of the Batcomputer — in Batman's personal seat — wearing the expression of a housewife who had just discovered her husband's affair.
"Alfred, something's wrong with Batman. Seriously, definitely something's off with him."
He muttered in a nasal, sarcastic tone, imitating Alfred's voice:
"Defying Batman's orders has been a traditional skill for every generation of Robins. I'm terribly sorry, dear Tim, but I'm afraid I have to lock you up."
Just thinking about how he stupidly extended his hands when Batman told him to — Tim wanted to slap himself.
"Hahaha."
Alfred approached, holding a tray of pastries. "Even Robins need to rest once in a while. How about something sweet? Toffee or chocolate?"
"I'll take both!"
Tim grumbled as he grabbed the pastries and started eating like a starving wolf. His mouth was so full of toffee that his voice came out muffled.
"Mmff… thanks! But really, Alfred — I think something's seriously wrong with Bruce."
He swallowed a big mouthful of cake.
"Maybe it's mind control. Maybe some kind of magical soul swap. Maybe another one of Mad Hatter's schemes — but I beat him for two hours straight and he still wouldn't admit anything!
Whoever's inside Batman's body right now — I'm telling you, it's not Bruce."
---
Tim put his now-empty plate down on the table. His expression hardened.
He paused, then continued:
"But even the best actor can't perfectly imitate something he doesn't understand. His whole understanding of Batman is off. Bruce is just a man, Alfred."
"No matter how terrifying Bruce looked to others, we both know he's still human. But this impostor — he plays Batman like he's a god! A walking god!"
"The aura, the posture — especially the presence! I've seen Bruce angry plenty of times, but this guy? He's a hundred times scarier. One glare from him and my heart almost stopped!"
Frustrated, Tim said, "I've secretly tested him over forty different ways in the past three days — iris scans, fingerprints, DNA, AI logic profiling, gait analysis… and every time, it says he is Bruce Wayne!"
He stared at Alfred seriously. "And yet… he's hiring mercenaries to help him hunt down Arkham's lunatics. He's ditching Robin to act alone — and sure, 'ditching Robin' is kind of a Batman classic, but this feels different."
His eyes grew deep and cold. "And all that talk about retiring? That's not Bruce. I think we should capture him — and use crowbars and whips until he tells us where the real Bruce is."
---
"Terrifying," Chen Tao muttered.
He kept his intimidating Batman stance, towering over everyone with calculated disdain — though his knees were shaking a little.
Still, the fake Batman had managed to scare off the real Bane. That meant he'd bluffed his way through this round successfully.
Just as he'd predicted, Bane wasn't a simple brute — he was a cunning hunter.
Until he was absolutely sure Batman was exhausted, Bane would never face him head-on. In the original timeline, he waited more than three months, letting Batman round up every Arkham escapee one by one. Only after confirming Batman was completely worn down did he sneak into Wayne Manor and strike.
Such a cautious man would never risk everything here and now.
That meant Chen Tao still had time — before anyone discovered that, under the armor, he was just bluff and bravado.
Climbing down from a pile of garbage, he walked toward Deadshot and the others.
---
[Warning! Anchored item detected: "Captain Boomerang's Broken Spear"]
[…Anchored item detected: "Slipknot's Broken Beloved Rope"]
[…Anchored item detected: "Tattooed Man's Severed Hand"]
Chen Tao froze as silver-white text flickered across his vision.
"What the hell is this supposed to mean?" he thought. "My teammates die horribly — and I get loot drops?"
Cold. Trembling. Rage.
Was the great Dark Knight — Gotham's Guardian, the World's Greatest Detective — destined to live by looting his teammates' corpses?
He looked down at the fallen villains' belongings, a pang of poetic melancholy rising in his chest.
No! Never!
A true superhero must have dignity!
Even if I die, I'll never scavenge from my fallen comrades!
…
Half a second later, Chen Tao looted the bodies in tears.
"Well… beating up teammates is a long-standing Justice League tradition, so… what's a few more?"
---
[Captain Boomerang's Broken Spear]:
Gunter Braun once used it to win multiple Olympic gold medals. Though she's now headless, the remaining material makes a perfect flagpole.
> "This spear is my wife!"
So, Boomerang not only had no mansion — even his "wife" was a spear. Chen Tao should've known. In the DC Universe, every villain had some sort of mental issue.
---
[Slipknot's Broken Beloved Rope]:
Christopher Weiss doubted everything — except his rope. In lonely nights, he even used it to… well, you know. Whenever he tied someone up, a confident smile crept across his face.
> "Ohhh… the rope responds to me… I trust its judgment…"
This one was a real piece of work.
Chen Tao swore never to hire psychos like that again — especially ones who managed to die stupidly.
---
[Tattooed Man's Severed Hand]:
John Oakes used to be an ordinary sailor until a bar fight landed him in prison, where he met the first Tattooed Man, Abel Tarrant. He kept a tattoo of an anchor on his arm to remember his youth.
> "It's slippery, I tell ya! The deck was really slippery!"
[Crisis Energy Units gained: 10]
Chen Tao frowned. Three weaklings — only 10 units total. Together, they barely matched what he got from ventriloquist alone.
How was this energy even calculated? All three could've gone toe-to-toe with Ventriloquist, and yet the conversion was pitiful.
---
[Warning! None of the three anchored items are linked to Batman! Randomly matching three weak low-tier Batmen…]
[Matched: Baby Batman]
[Consume 1 Crisis Energy Unit to sync?]
Below the name, smaller text appeared:
> A Batman from a dying dark multiverse reincarnated his mind into a baby's body. Due to his oversized head, he fell down the stairs while learning to walk and died instantly.
Threat Level: None.
Chen Tao's face darkened.
"What the hell am I supposed to do with a baby body? Giggle my way to victory? Hope the villains spare me because I look cute?"
Absolutely not!
---
[Sync declined. Data saved. You may sync with this Batman later using 1 Crisis Energy Unit.]
[Matching again… success.]
[Matched: Richman Batman]
> In one dark multiverse, Batman bought all of Gotham and turned it into his medieval feudal estate — until Superman killed him for becoming a tyrant.
"…"
Chen Tao was speechless. Superman killing people? What kind of twisted world was that?
Skip.
---
[Matching again… success.]
[Matched: Mayor Batman]
> In another dark multiverse, Bruce Wayne became the mayor of Gotham instead of Batman. He was later assassinated, and his head was hung from Wayne Tower as a warning against crossing the mob.
"…"
Another useless version.
Chen Tao sighed and turned his gaze toward the three wounded bodies lying on the ground.
Stare~