Vroom, vroom, grumble—
With the engine groaning, Chen Tao made a clean getaway, shoving back into Bane's mouth any cheeky lines he was about to spit out.
For the first time, a look of dread crossed Bane's face.
His intel on Batman had apparently been seriously wrong.
What the hell was that?
He replayed that one second in his mind again and again.
Human legs… how could they possibly turn into wheels?
"You—"
By the time he reacted, Chen Tao had already kicked into gear. Long legs, no—wheels spinning, and suddenly Bane couldn't catch up.
"Zombie Man! Caveman! Bird Man!"
"We're here, Bane!"
Bane's henchmen answered over the radio.
"Plan changed. Everyone, chase him down."
Henchmen: ?
"I need to figure out what the hell just happened to Batman."
Even carrying four people, Chen Tao accelerated—ah, no, rotated his wheels and ran—and Bane was momentarily frozen, unable to keep up.
The Batmobile was despised in its own world, but fleeing was a passive skill. Chen Tao tensed his glutes—his liquid nitrogen thrusters.
"Holy crap!"
Killer Croc stared at Chen Tao's wheeled feet.
"Bat… I didn't know you could do this."
"Enough talk. Deadshot, get ready to fire!"
"..."
My name is Floyd Lawton, twenty-seven, and I am Deadshot.
Right now, I am being hunted by a three-meter-tall muscle demon who just slaughtered my three teammates. I have no doubt one punch could turn me into a little cookie.
But I'm not scared at all, because he isn't faster than my horse.
"..."
But there's still one very, very important issue.
The horse I'm riding… its name is Batman.
"AAAAHHHH—"
A giant boulder whistled past Deadshot sitting on Chen Tao's left shoulder, making him clench every muscle in fear.
Thud, thud, thud…
He pulled out a submachine gun and fired backward. The recoil and bumps made the flesh on his face bounce like waves on the Gotham River.
Even on this bumpy shoulder, his bullets hit Bane's eyes with deadly precision, forcing him to cover his face with his hands.
"We're doomed!"
He shouted at Batman. "Why can't you just go fight Bane yourself?"
Because we can't win, idiot.
Chen Tao said:
"To keep you safe, I can't fight Bane and protect you at the same time."
Cheshire Cat instantly looked touched, though her mask hid her face.
"It's fine, you don't have to worry—"
Deadshot shot her a sideways glance. Do you really believe his nonsense?
He pondered. Batman must have a reason, but the info he had was minimal—he was completely in the dark.
"Your feet—"
"Shut up. Just sit, I'll handle it!"
"You—"
Chen Tao drifted his pelvis, barely dodging a boulder Bane hurled. Irritated, he said,
"What now?"
"Look ahead!"
Chen Tao turned and saw several buses blocking the road. Bane's henchmen were standing on top, waiting for him to crash into them.
"So… what's the plan now?"
Chen Tao gritted his teeth.
---
"Super Baby" was a newly opened restaurant in Gotham. To attract customers, the waitstaff dressed as superheroes and supervillains—quite the eye candy.
Inside, two policemen sat by a transparent floor-to-ceiling window, enjoying a hearty breakfast.
Beep, beep… Help! The Joker just robbed our bank, you have to—
The slightly older cop and the younger one exchanged a glance, then casually hung up.
"It's fine. Batman will take care of Joker."
"Yeah, no point stressing over it," said the younger cop. "Anyway, it's just cleanup afterward."
They looked at each other, finding common ground, and laughed heartily.
"…"
"So, you guys want dessert?" said the waitress dressed as Harley Quinn, getting a bit impatient.
They ordered more. The older cop said:
"I've been in Gotham for so long, nothing really surprises me anymore."
"Yeah, work's endless anyway. Remember when Poison Ivy robbed the Starlight Labs a few days ago? Gordon freaked out like something huge happened. And now? Hahaha!"
"Exactly, anything can happen in Gotham," said the old cop, sipping his beer. "Even if I saw a dinosaur in roller skates on the street right now, I wouldn't blink. As they say, the sun rises as usual, and Batman can handle everything~"
The younger cop froze.
"?" The older cop looked at him, puzzled by his dazed expression.
"Look… behind you!"
He turned and saw a MASSIVE GREEN T-REX, at least six meters tall, striding down the street.
It wore a tattered Batman-like uniform, with muscular humanoid arms and legs, golden spiked gauntlets, and a mask—though on a dinosaur head, it looked pointless.
In its left and right hands, it grabbed several indistinct objects—some humans and a large lizard.
"???"
The bustling restaurant went silent. Everyone stared outside, watching the dinosaur's tail disappear around the corner.
The two cops exchanged a glance.
"Hahaha—"
"We must've been seeing things. How could this happen?"
They patted each other's backs, laughing uncontrollably, then fell silent.
Boom! A loud explosion—clearly a rocket strike.
The dinosaur returned, now with two wheels under its feet, being chased by three men with rocket launchers and a hulking muscleman.
ROAR!
The two cops looked at each other.
Bang!
The restaurant doors were blown open. Screaming patrons ran out, successfully skipping out on the bill.
The cops ran outside, trembling, drawing their pistols. The green T-Rex weaved through streets, dodging obstacles. Rockets flew, bullets whizzed, parked cars were blown into the air. The muscleman jumped, catching cars and throwing them at the dinosaur like shot puts. Chaos reigned; civilians fled in panic.
And yet, the T-Rex saved people while fleeing—lifting a little girl from a falling streetlight, a middle-aged man from the ground, then tossing them aside safely, agile as a giant ape.
The four pursuing henchmen were furious but couldn't keep up with its long legs that slid over ten meters at a stride.
Finally, the T-Rex got fed up, brutally knocked out two rocket-wielding pursuers, then vanished again before the others could catch up.
It leapt, using its wheeled feet to kick off a wall, rocketing to the rooftops, smashing tiles. The four pursuers climbed after it, but soon vanished from sight. Only the two cops remained, staring blankly.
Nearby, someone wailed, "My car!" Streets were a fiery wreck, hydrants exploding and soaking the two cops.
The older cop sighed peacefully.
"So… was all that just… Batman?"
The younger cop replied calmly:
"Who cares? Our job is cleanup anyway. Honestly, sometimes I feel like an NPC in a game."
"Exactly!" the older cop joked. "If this world were a book, we'd be the nameless extras."
"Right, Sean?"
"Yes, Boris!"
They laughed, patted each other's backs, then went silent.
"Ugh… back to work."
"Yeah… motherf—"
"Wait, after cleaning, there'll be more superheroes and villains making a mess. So does it matter if we clean now or later?"
"Hey—makes sense! Let's go eat. I only had half a donut anyway."
And so, the two seasoned Gotham cops quickly accepted the chaos, brushed off their heads, and returned to breakfast.