Raon had kicked many things in her life.
Robots.
Demons.
Evil DJs.
A washing machine that tried to bite her.
And one time, a vending machine that refused to drop her honey-soy chips.
But nothing—NOTHING—felt as impossible to defeat as the monstrosity floating above her right now:
A colossal, ten-storey-tall Terms & Conditions Serpent, made entirely of scrolling text and legal jargon.
Its body slithered through the air like a skyscraper made of fine print, each scale a paragraph of soul-crushing clauses.
One line glowed ominously:
"By continuing, you agree to eternal servitude of—"
Raon kicked that part.
It exploded into confetti made of corrupted clauses.
"NO AUTO-AGREE WITHOUT MY CONSENT!" Raon shouted.
---
1. SHION IS EXPERIENCING SEVERE LEGAL TRAUMA
Below, Shion crouched behind a floating "Customer Support Pillar," typing frantically into her tablet.
Her glasses flickered with twelve overlapping windows of legalese.
"Raon," Shion said with absolute grave seriousness, "I need you to stop kicking the clauses."
"Why?"
"You're breaking the HTML structure of the cosmic contract!"
"GOOD."
"No—BAD! If the structure collapses, the Terms & Conditions Serpent will reset itself to Version 0.01. And Version 0.01 is the UNPATCHED one."
Raon blinked. "Meaning?"
Shion swallowed. "Meaning it still includes… the eternal blood oath clause."
Raon froze mid-kick.
The serpent hissed. Its tongue was a scrolling "AGREE" button.
Shion continued, voice trembling:
"And also the—"
Her lips quivered.
"The… the mandatory weekly newsletter."
Raon gasped. "No. That's illegal. That's WAR CRIMES."
"We're in the Digital Bureaucracy Realm," Shion replied. "Nothing is illegal here. Only… monetisable."
---
2. A WILD HACKER APPEARS
A boxy portal suddenly tore open above them.
A figure dropped out, landing with the elegance of a wet potato.
"YO YO YO, CYBERFAM," shouted Synthra Byte, the neon-haired hacker idol of the OKG universe.
Raon groaned. "Why are you here?"
"Shion emergency-pinged me," Synthra said, spinning her holopad like a fidget spinner made of dangerously unstable code. "Said y'all needed a certified bug-exterminator-slash-glam-influencer."
"I said NO such thing," Shion muttered.
"I interpreted your panic emoji as consent," Synthra replied.
Shion sighed. "It was the emoji of a melting clock."
"Exactly! That means 'Hurry, queen, the timeline's collapsing.'"
Raon whispered, "I hate how that kind of makes sense."
---
3. THE CURSE OF PERPETUAL SUBSCRIPTION
Synthra approached the serpent.
"Alright, big boy," she said, cracking her knuckles. "Let's jailbreak your terms."
But as soon as she touched the legal serpent, her holopad flashed red.
A voice boomed:
"ERROR: YOU ARE ALREADY SUBSCRIBED TO 1,294 SERVICES.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO UPGRADE TO 1,295?"
Synthra screamed. "NOOOO—THIS IS HOW THEY GOT ME LAST TIME!"
Shion facepalmed. "You never read anything before you click 'Accept All.'"
Synthra dramatically clutched her chest. "Reading is for the weak."
"No, reading is for SURVIVAL," Shion said loudly, holding up her tablet like a shield. "Raon! The serpent feeds on blind agreement! You must reject EVERY clause manually!"
Raon stared at her. "Shion. You realize who I am, right?"
"…Raon?"
"NO. I mean — I am a person who has never read anything in her LIFE."
Shion's soul left her body.
---
4. THE GREAT UNSUBSCRIBE BATTLE
The serpent lunged.
Raon dodged and kicked its jaw with a flaming spin-kick.
"HAH!"
The serpent rippled. Paragraphs shivered. Legal language rearranged itself:
"By attacking this entity, you consent to receiving promotional banners for—"
Raon kicked again.
"STOP TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS!"
Shion yelled, "Raon, aim for the clause root!"
"WHERE?!"
"Look for the part that looks like a footnote referencing another footnote referencing a contradictory footnote!"
Raon blinked. "Shion, that is the entire monster."
Synthra shouted, "I GOT IT!!!"
She pointed to the serpent's chest, where one glowing golden line hovered.
"To terminate this agreement, press unsubscribe."
Raon squinted. "Shion… that's a trap, right?"
Shion nodded. "Definitely a trap."
"Okay but," Raon said, "what if I… kick the unsubscribe button?"
Shion froze.
Synthra's pupils shaped into stars. "OMG that's genius!"
Shion grabbed both of them. "NO. Listen. If Raon kicks that button, the unsubscribe mechanism won't just remove the contract—"
"What will it remove?" Raon asked.
Shion swallowed.
"…Everything you've ever agreed to."
Raon blinked.
Then blinked harder.
Then her pupils shrank like a horror movie zoom-in.
"E—Everything?"
"Everything."
"As in… ALL my streaming accounts?"
Shion nodded slowly.
"My saved playlists?"
Nod.
"My favourite anime app where they cut out all the ads and just show the fights?"
"Especially that one."
Raon dropped to her knees. "No… not my midnight fight compilations…"
Synthra patted her shoulder. "We will mourn your algorithmic soulmate later."
---
5. A NEW THREAT APPROACHES
Before Raon could collapse into despair, the entire realm dimmed.
A blast of red light tore across the sky.
A new form materialized — a floating humanoid silhouette wearing a business suit made of glitching pop-ups.
Shion's eyes widened. "No… not him…"
Synthra screamed. "WHO IS THAT?!"
Raon glared. "Let me guess — the FINAL BOSS of customer harassment?"
Shion whispered:
"No…
That's…
THE AUTO-BILLING REAPER."
The entity raised a hand.
Invoices formed behind him, flapping like demonic wings.
Synthra fainted on the spot.
Raon cracked her knuckles. "Alright. Fine. I'll deal with the literal grim reaper of subscriptions."
The Reaper pointed at Raon.
A giant invoice flew toward her like a guillotine.
Raon dodged—barely.
"SHION! PLAN, NOW!"
Shion's eyes darted, analyzing code, clauses, structures, price models, subscription tiers.
"Raon… brace yourself."
"Why?"
"Because to defeat him…"
Shion's voice dropped into ominous seriousness.
"…you must face your greatest fear."
Raon gulped. "Which is?"
Shion pointed at the glowing golden unsubscribe button on the serpent.
"You must permanently…
unsubscribe from EVERYTHING."
Raon froze.
Synthra gasped awake.
"NOOO THAT'S WORSE THAN DEATH."
The Reaper raised both hands.
Invoices began to rain like apocalyptic snow.
Raon stood, trembling.
"…Fine," she whispered.
"…I'll do it."
Shion nodded, heart in her throat.
Raon reeled her leg back—
Wind swirling.
Light gathering.
Pop-ups disintegrating around her.
THE ULTIMATE UNSUBSCRIBE KICK.